any one remember funny things said during games that stick in your memory? For instance one player in our group said recently " no one player should be out roaming alone, alone."
It caused about a ten min delay as we all laughed
Last session my players have come upon the common room of the goblins. They turn the corner and see a bunch of female goblins with daggers but no major weapons and no armour and baby goblins scampering around their feet. So a dsipute breaks out between the players with the good Ninja** arguing that they should not be killing the non-combatants while the rest of the party arguing that goblins are basically like cockroaches and other vermin. The best thing to do with them is slaughter them to the last soul otherwise they just come back in 10 years or so and end up attacking human farms and killing travellers and such - and especially they like to join massive hordes organized by evil wizards and such.
The debate starts to get heated but the Ninja player manages to cool things off with "Look I'm just playing my character - in real life I have nothing against killing women and children - but my ninja is opposed to the practice on moral grounds".
That lightened the mood considerably.
** The Ninja's skills and exploits have so underwhelmed the players in the campaign that his nickname is 'The Chocolate Ninja'.
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any one remember funny things said during games that stick in your memory? For instance one player in our group said recently " no one player should be out roaming alone, alone."
It caused about a ten min delay as we all laughed
Oh, lots of them. Mainly caused by a beer too much, or from late hour playing.
Most recent one:
Player A: "I sure find those half-orcs mercenaries suspicious. I've always disliked half-orcs."
Player B: "Yeah, me too. How can you trust a half-orc?"
Player C: "Hey, you ARE an half-orc! And you've got the group treasury!"
Or a great classic:
Player A: "OK, let's summarize what we know so far: we are in a place called... well we're here and we must go to... to... over there! to look after the missing... the... someone! who knows the real story about the... that... item you keep in your backpack!"
Player B: "Is that all you can remember?"
Player C: "I think we're in deep trouble."
"I loot the body."
"I INSPECT the body."
"I feel left out."
"A formal party? We are so NOT going." (The last formal party the party attended had a murder...)
"Have you seen my Thunderlance?" (A la Andromeda's "Have you seen my force lance?")
"I've got my crossbow..."
"You couldn't hit a broad side of a barn with that."
"I can use it as a club..."
"Better."
"Go get 'em, Fuzzy!" (said to the werewolf druid)
"Artillery!" (said to the Dragon Disciple/War Wizard/Sorcerer)
"Everything will be fine, everything will be fine." (said by a now-infamous NPC in my campaigns; makes the players cringe)
I player once had his character bellow a war cry while charging some orcs.
"No Fear!"... or was it... "Know Fear!"
The player isn't telling.
"I kill the dead guy."
ASEO out
From the cowardly paladin: "Ya, but I might get hurt!" (Facing down ogres) Response: "That's why this is Dungeons and Dragons, not Diplomacy and Deskwork."
Famous last words: "Come on, guys, we can take them!" (1 round later the monk, who issued the quote, was at -70 hp)
A qote from an NPC in our very first campaign: "An arrow in the back is an arrow in the back."
From the stupid dwarf: "Pick me up and throw me!" (A serious comment made in combat) "You're too heavy." "Oh, let me take my armor off."
got another one from this weeks game one of the younger players asked in all honesty "name me one bad thing about evil?" lol
Once had a friend play a rogue and said "C'mon, they won't need it any more!" as he looted the dead bodies found in a ravaged town. The paladin didn't take too kindly to this...think there was some backhanding on the paladin's part...
And in one of my truly greatest moments when I first started playing I said to the DM "He's only a little guy. What can he do to me?" I was a half-orc BBN who came across a halfling. A round later the rest of the party was dragging my unconcious body away from what turned out to be a 20th lvl monk halfling.
A bit from my Hoarde
1: Our wizard had a great idea once:
Him: OK, we will charge up to the mind flayer with this sack, BUT we will put our hafling rouge in the bag so he can jump ot and flank our enemy!
Me: You cant do that. Just shoot a 10d6 lightning!
Him Yes I can, I'll check!
30 min later he found out to flank an enemy you have to draw the invisible line. This was also the session with the HPK.
2: Our druid in the other game (who is the same wizard) runs in to an owlbear and her cub. After the battle:
Can I keep it as a pet? That would be two animal compaginons!
The scout in my group once walked in to a store and mispronounced, asking for an "everborning turch". One of those you had to be there things.
I had a group once, they were trying to get into a goblin-infested keep undetected. They managed to silently climb up a wall and disposed of the couple of goblin guards that were patrolling without making too much noise. As the rest of the group joined the first two on the keep wall, one on the climbing players fails his 'move silently' roll and drops his shield making a loud thud. Another goblin patrol hears this from a nearby tower and calls out in (goblinoid): "What's going on down there?".
Only the halfling rogue spoke goblin. He translates to the rest of the group. The wizard tells him : "Well, there expecting an answer - ANSWER THEM!"...
...and the idiot halfling yelled (to the goblins): "WE HAVE INTRUDERS!"
It was fun to see the collective "D'oh!!!" that came from the group.
Ultradan
There was an article I read a looong time ago that was pretty much just a list of things that you did not want to hear at the gaming table. And the only one I can remember (though if anyone knows what I'm talking about it would be great to re-read that very funny list again) is the one I've started to use in homage to that list:
I hit... and I'm going to need more dice.
Celric
There was an article I read a looong time ago that was pretty much just a list of things that you did not want to hear at the gaming table. And the only one I can remember (though if anyone knows what I'm talking about it would be great to re-read that very funny list again) is the one I've started to use in homage to that list:
I hit... and I'm going to need more dice.
Celric
That can go either way: A DM says it and the player(s) cringe in fear or a player says it and the DM sighs inwardly and wishes a perfectly planned boss a final farewell!
A bit from my Hoarde
There was an article I read a looong time ago that was pretty much just a list of things that you did not want to hear at the gaming table. And the only one I can remember (though if anyone knows what I'm talking about it would be great to re-read that very funny list again) is the one I've started to use in homage to that list:
I hit... and I'm going to need more dice.
Celric
I have seen similier lists. One of my favourites was from a list of Famous Last Words.
Player: I shoot my wand of fireballs straight up!
DM: Now for a lesson in physics...
Had a pretty good one in yestardays session.
Set Up: Player 2 has just lost a character last session and his new character has been recruited by the party to go and help them clear out goblin infested caves.
The players are exploring the caves and start finding Zombies and tables with Bone Saws etc. on them. No sign of any Goblins.
Player 1: Hmm...this really looks like a Necromancers Lair...
Player 2: WHAT! You said Goblin warrens! You did not say $^&#(&@ Necromancer warrens. This is FALSE ADVERTIZING!