Hello all,
Below, you'll find my rejected adventure proposal to Dungeon. I'm NOT posting it to garner any support for publication. It's been rejected, and that's that.
I'm posting it because the prime villains in the adventure are closed content, so since I can't get it published in Dungeon, I can't publish it anywhere.
So, I offer it to you messageboarders for your enjoyment. Maybe you'll pick up the idea for your campaign, maybe you won't.
I'm also including my entire "proposal letter" for aspiring Dungeon writers. I must say that there are some incorrect things here, according to the latest suggestions from the Dungeon staff. Namely, put your actual proposal on a separate sheet from your cover letter.
The proposal letter:
I'd like to submit the following adventure idea for publication in Dungeon.
I have previously written for Dungeon, including "Racing the Snake" (Dungeon 105), "Buzz on the Bridge" (Dungeon 110) and "Throne of Iuz" (Dungeon 118).
My next submission is a series of short episodic adventures called "Phases of the Rat." These connected mini-adventures can be used as a sort of ongoing sidetrek (or sub plot) to a larger series of adventures, such as one of your Adventure Paths. This series is designed to run in a single issue and at the length of a standard single adventure. “Phases of the Rat” covers 1st through 5th levels, but can be scaled to a higher level range with ease.
This adventure will be about 8,000 words long and require six small maps.
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Here are the basics of the adventure:
A colony of evil moon rats -- magical rats that grow more intelligent, cunning and devious during various cycles of the moon (Monster Manual II p. 151) -- has nested underneath the city. It wasn’t long before the colony soon was discovered by a moon dog (Book of Exalted Deeds p. 179). The moon dog found their magical taint made them quite tasty, and he continued to raid the colony for months and months for snacks.
Not surprisingly, the moon rats got fed up with the raids and decided to fight back.
Their first plan – adopting a gray render (Monster Manual p. 138) – failed when the creature proved to be no match for the moon dog.
As they seethed about their predicament, the rats discovered that the city’s primary gnomish temple has an Apparatus of Kwalish hidden inside.
The rats continued brood about the moon dog until they hatched a plan to steal the apparatus, a device they could use to destroy their new arch enemy. Their grand scheme requires a lot of help though, as moon rats can’t learn skills. So over time, the rats end up recruiting a motley crew of creatures, including vargouilles (MM p. 254), an oytugh (MM p. 204), a small band of hobgoblins (MM p 153), wererats (which will be perfect for throwing the PCs off the trail of the moon rats) (MM p. 170) and a shambling mound (MM p 222).
The PCs come into the story as the plot gets started and pick up pieces of it over the following months. At each full moon, they uncover a new piece of the puzzle. By their fifth encounter with the rats, the creatures are on their way to hunt down the moon dog, who enlists the adventurers aid in the climatic battle between him, the swarms of rats, their purloined Apparatus of Kwalish and the now-recovered gray render.
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Here is the “Moon-by-Moon” breakdown of the adventure...
Full moon A (level 1) – As the PCs are strolling by a business in town, the moon rats secretly spring a trap against an exterminator who has been unwittingly pitted against them. The PCs help the exterminator – who says he’s on a job for an alchemist and adds there’s something different about these “vermin.” They’re smart he says, and he pleads with the adventurers to track them down. The characters investigate and watch as the rats scramble up to the rooftop and dash away. The adventurers follow, and go along a trap-filled roof-top chase that ultimately leads them into the den of several vargouilles. The rats trail leads them to a drainage pipe that’s too small for anyone to follow.
Full moon B (level 2) – A month or so later, the moon rats raid the potion maker and steal his all of his potion stock. The exterminator contacts them about it, wherein they trace the rats path down into an abandoned building. There, the rats have set a collapsing-floor trap that sets a wounded otyugh against any interlopers. Once again, the rats use a distraction to escape through an impassable area.
Full moon C (level 3) -- Many weeks later, the potion maker finds the PCs again, saying that the rats held him captive and forced him to make dozens of Comprehend Language potions. As they worked with him, they asked him a lot of questions where they could “make metal.” He told them of an old iron furnace outside the city. There, the rats have recruited a hobgoblin and his tribe to create some finely designed cogs and gears under the moon rats careful supervision. These mechanical parts are then sold to some evil elves (who won’t be referenced any further, but can be used as an additional adventure seed) in return for cases of mushroom spores. The hobgoblins were paid with oodles potions for their work.
Full moon D (level 4) – A rancher complains that his cattle are disappearing. The PCs follow the clues to a sinister abattoir where a half-dozen wererats are butchering all sorts of livestock. They trim the meat off and drop it through a hole in the floor. The PCs enter the hole and find it leads them to an otherwise sealed-off sewer chamber housing hundreds of mushrooms beds that are feasting on the sliced meat. A successful Alchemy check or Knowledge (Nature) check reveals these mushrooms can be used to create a powerful poison. The mushroom beds are guarded by a shambling mound who is partially fed by the meat. Once again, the PCs find one small entrance way that only rats could scamper through.
Full moon E (level 5) -- The PCs wake one morning to find that the local gnomish temple was ransacked after the gnomes were knocked out by a gas (made from the ground up mushroom). The trail leads them into the sewer. There, they find several pointers. Following the trail back, they find a planning room used by the rats. The sewer planning room contains details about a troublesome creature they’ve been trying to exterminate -- a moon dog. Their method? They’ll be using the Apparatus of Kwalish that the stole from the temple and their pet gray render. The adventurers track them to the moon dog’s lair and help it fight the legion of rats, their Apparatus of Kwalish and the adopted gray render.
Note: These mini adventures need not happen every 30 days. Greyhawk, for example, has two moons, so full moons would likely occur twice as often. Likewise, these episodes could be stretched out over a year or more.
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So there’s my submission, I look forward to hearing from you about it.
Best,
John Simcoe
The Dungeon crew said no to this for two primary reasons: (1) It assumes that PCs will be returning again and again to the same city. (2)It assumed a fairly regular pattern of leveling on the PCs' part.
Again, I'm not posting this to argue these points. Please don't dispute them. It's their magazine, they can take or leave what they want. I'm just posting it for learning purposes and because I can't publish it anywhere else (unless of course, I made a module with "Moon Rabbits" or something).Enjoy!
That's a very interesting idea, though I can see the logic of the objections to it as well. The overall concept, of presenting a fully developed B plot for a campaign that slowly unwinds, is also really intriguing. Reminds of "Secrets of the Towers" (issue #10 I believe) and I can't off the of my head recall anyone else ever taking that notion and running with it.
(wish I had thought of it :) ).
Any plans to take another stab at the concept is it more standard adventure ideas from now on?
Thanks for sharing, John. I love seeing queries, if only to see how other people format them. I've started working on my first one (finally) and I'm finding it hard to fit onto 2 double spaced pages. It's nice to see how others go about organizing things.
Thanks for sharing, John. I love seeing queries, if only to see how other people format them. I've started working on my first one (finally) and I'm finding it hard to fit onto 2 double spaced pages. It's nice to see how others go about organizing things.
Fitting my ideas on 2 double spaced pages has been my greatest nemesis. I really love to "spin a yarn" so to speak. So it really limits how I would like to convey the vision of my adventure idea.
John, that's a very original adventure idea. It sounds like it would be loads of fun. Thanks for sharing it with us.
I'm just posting it for learning purposes and because I can't publish it anywhere else (unless of course, I made a module with "Moon Rabbits" or something).
Night of the Lupin anyone?
Very nice indeed, John. It's a shame they didn't take it. I also see how it would be difficult to modify it for one level or another or fit it in a shorter time frame. Still I think it's cool.
And Hal, I absolutely love the concept in the "Secret of the Towers". They've become a sort of legend in my game. It's nice to see someone else remembered them.
May you both have luck in future proposals (unless they are a little too similar to mine ;),
GGG
Reminds of "Secrets of the Towers" (issue #10 I believe)
You are correct sir. It is issue #10 - I've been converting it to 3.5 recently.
Thank you, John.
Such examples are a help to those of us still trying to get published.
(and the idea for an adventure is always cool, too!)