I wish that there'd been more (or any, really) awareness of asexuality back when I was younger. It might've saved me a lot of grief. Or it might not have, given all the crap that was going on for me back then.
So, with T-day over. I had my first Thanksgiving with my folks since I came out as trans to them. It was...nice, actually. It went about pretty much how it always used to go. I gave my mom a couple of gentle nudges when she forgot, and she was good about it. It was a huge relief. It was also the first time I'd seen them since I came out to them. It helps that there wasn't any other family around, though. But that was intentional.
Thanks for the well-wishes. The appointment went better than expected -- and I now have my first month's hormones. As for your question Wei Ji: my personal experience and personal revelation came through trial and error. I tried things on until something fit. Partly it came through online RP: I could try out new personas as much as I wanted, and one day I noticed that I hadn't had a male persona that lasted more than a couple weeks in years. Then, around trusted friends, I tried out names, pronouns, gender identity feelings until I felt I knew where I was. It'll take time, effort, and willingness to take time to really look at yourself. My way isn't the only, or necessarily the best way, though.
So, later on today I have my first appointment with a doctor about getting on hormones. I am excited and nervous. Further exacerbating my heightened emotions, the power went out overnight where I am, and I feared for a number of hours that I might have to cancel the appointment and reschedule since my vehicle is in the garage, which can only be opened via power. Intellectually, I knew it wouldn't be a problem to reschedule, but emotions and logic don't talk well to each other. Especially at 3am.
I think that a separate download being updated once a season would make most sense to me. For one, it'd be easier on the editing staff! I also don't see people using pregens all that often, though I only have experience with my own (small) group that doesn't see many character deaths or new players joining mid-season.
Tumblr is like livejournal was. Which is to say, full of people, some communities more loosely connected than others, full of conversations. And it looks and feels totally different depending on which side of Tumblr you're on. The side I hang out on is full of geeky conversations, gif-parties, and support group stuff.
...And in my case, it always happens when it's all straight white guys except for me (who is very much still closeted to this particular group), and thus not in front of the sympathetic coordinator, who didn't want to do anything unless she actually saw it happening. I finally said that I was going to give this group a pass for a few months to let things settle down... and they haven't run a game I've been able to play in since then, so I've no way to gauge whether anything's changed...Please forgive my paranoia, but that almost sounds like an answer right there? I mean, I could be reading into things, but that sounds... incredibly convenient? I'm not 'on the ground' and I'm not familiar with the situation beyond what you've related, but we've had similar happen with a couple of groups I've been in as a subtle form of ostracism? I can definitely see how it would look that way -- but that would require the person organizing PFS lately to actually know what I was and wasn't able to play. I've been mostly playing at a another regular gameday an hour away (which has been great enough to be worth driving an hour each way to), or at conventions; none of the things that have been played lately have ever been played in our region before. What bugs me is that there are people in this group who I do enjoy playing with. There's more people I like playing with than not. I've been playing non-PFS stuff with them all throughout this, and there's been no problems at all -- just the PFS part has been full of issues.
That sounds a lot like one of the groups I've been playing PFS in, mechaPoet. Or rather, haven't been lately, as after I brought up some of the more offensive stuff to the coordinators and the VO, there was a bit of a brouhaha, people got offended because they were just innocent jokes, etc. And in my case, it always happens when it's all straight white guys except for me (who is very much still closeted to this particular group), and thus not in front of the sympathetic coordinator, who didn't want to do anything unless she actually saw it happening. I finally said that I was going to give this group a pass for a few months to let things settle down... and they haven't run a game I've been able to play in since then, so I've no way to gauge whether anything's changed. While there's been no issues while I've been gming Core in the region, there's absolutely no player crossover between core and non-core here.
I've seen this before, and I do like the idea... but honestly my main "issue" so to speak with it has to do with the immediate reaction to it that erupts every time I've seen it brought up. Which is to say, that in all of the places I can think of where it would actually be a useful tool, its usefulness is completely mitigated by the fact that the people who need to respect it won't, which is why the card was needed in the first place.
Being 'different from standard' seems sufficient reason to include asexuality/aromanticism in the category to me. One other acronym that I've seen bandied about to combat the increasingly-large QUILTBAG of acronym soup is 'Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex', or MOGII. Seems fair to me. I mostly don't use it because most folks haven't heard of it, and it doesn't roll off the tongue so well. As for settings full of asexuals...I hesitate to give The Giver as an example, because 1) drug-induced and 2) it's really really not good representation on the matter, being a dystopia and all.
Icy: that's rough. Reminds me a good fair bit about my own parents. I can still remember when my dad sat me down and gave me a talk about the difference between 'feeling strong affection for friends' and 'feeling strong romantic feelings towards women' and how I shouldn't get them confused like I have been doing. Gee Dad, thanks for letting me know that you don't think I can figure out the difference between wanting to hang out with someone, and wanting to kiss someone. Doublewrongbad when I end up having to come out a half dozen times before my parents realize I'm serious/remember. The denial is strong with them. The whole 'free speech' thing has been a bit difficult for me too. Growing up in my family/church, especially around my parents' son, if I wanted to be heard, I had to talk over people, and that's been a hard habit to unlearn. I still get a lot of the 'is it rude for me to speak up here?' or 'should I just start talking to refute that?' when talking to people IRL. Online I just tend to get more 'do I really actually have something worthwhile to say for people to read?' And usually say 'no', and delete the whole thing and go back to lurking. But on the other hand, sometimes people are just wrong in a way that shouldn't be tolerated, even in speech, in your own home, so to speak. In your own house you can say what you want. But we're in Paizo's house, and Paizo gets to choose what you're not allowed to say. An issue (what can/can't people say in X venue) that I've also been running into with my local Pathfinder group, which is why I haven't been at the local one in a few months. Also: Hi, I'm Mandy, long time lurker, second time poster. And I, for one, welcome the idea that I can play in a setting declared by the game's publisher as canon, where trans women like me actually exist, instead of having to make my own. (Not that I haven't been working on my own gameworlds anyway, mind...)
This may be a silly suggestion, and too late now for the ACG classes: but would it make sense, with new classes going forward, for any retraining synergies to be a part of the class basic description, such as: "This class functions as a wizard for retraining purposes." or some such thing? Since you need the source for the class to use it legally in PFS anyhow (or to use it in general), having it with the rest of the information about the class would seem to make sense. |
