Fill in the blanks, eh? I'm gonna go with "banana-hammock" and "chartered accountancy".
Why would a robot steal my truck dog?
Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Tourism wrote:
Are you trying to break Freehold?
Yep, each level just keeps getting harder. For instance, right now I'm trying level 12 with Defect, and the penalties are:Elites spawn more often
Normal enemies are deadlier
Elites are deadlier
Bosses are deadlier
Heal less after boss battles
Start each run damaged
Normal enemies are tougher
Elites are tougher
Bosses are tougher
Start each run cursed
Fewer potion slots
Upgraded cards appear less often
Amazon is confusing me. I ordered 4 items the other day. They said they would arrive in 3 packages, 2 on Thursday (yesterday) and 1 on Friday (today). 1 arrived on Thursday, 1 arrived on Friday, and the other one that was supposed to arrive on Thursday now says that it is "Delayed" and will arrive "Between the 12th and 15th". This is after the tracking page showed it as "Out for Delivery" on both Thursday and Friday. I don't know what's happening, I just want my stuff, and I'm really glad it wasn't anything I was in a hurry for.
Also, I don't know if this matters, but all the items were being sold by Amazon, not marketplace sellers, and it was all Prime shipping.
Edit: I just got an update, and my package is now apparently somewhere up near Chicago. And it was supposedly in town Thursday morning. WTF?
You funnel the excess into giant spotlights to taunt the suckers who don't have power.
Freehold DM wrote:
Wouldn't that be a cartoonified Christopher Lloyd?
Just a Mort wrote:
I haven't touched Hearthstone since before Witchwood, or whatever it was called.
Here's a group of jokes that are a variation on a theme:
Spoilered for length:
A bar was walked into by a passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar. The silence was deafening.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys all the liquor.
A non-sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong enough wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your type here."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, sees the writing on the wall, and decides to nip this thing in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and gets figuratively hammered.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a cute noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
A simile walks into a bar, parched as the desert.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar. The bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
Not until you've written a week long lesson on puns which will require your students to write several per day. Each day must have a different theme, such as food, music, family, and potpourri.
I'm going to spoiler this one, just in case.
I got to work tonight and there are a bunch of boxes in the break room. It appears we are switching to satellite TV. One of the boxes made me chuckle, because it is labelled "Non-Penetrative Mount" and that made think "That just sounds like disappointing sex".
Just a Mort wrote:
I use fresh garlic too, just sometimes powder works better. Like as a popcorn topping.
That was an interesting phone call. It was from Central Reservations, calling because there are apparently a dozen people waiting in the lobby of a hotel a block away wanting to check in, but they've been there for over an hour and no one is at the desk. No one is answering the phone either. She was wondering if I had any other contact info, like the phone number for the manager or something, for that hotel. Which I don't. Don't know exactly what's going on over there, but I'm guessing someone is getting fired.
You ever put garlic on popcorn? I do sometimes. Just pop a bag in the microwave, then sprinkle some garlic powder (not garlic salt, it's already plenty salty) on it and shake to distribute. Or pour the popcorn into a bowl and add the garlic powder and shake. It means you have to wash a bowl, but it tends to more evenly distribute the garlic.
Just a Mort wrote:
They say that you are what you eat, I eat cows, cows are vegetarians, therefore I am a vegetarian.