deemshy's page

Thank you all for your comments.
This contest has inspired me, and I really enjoyed being a part of it.

To answer some questions:

Special mention to Jason Rice: I don't know you, but you defended me so well. You basically stated everything I would have.

To all of you, I had mention of the adult in my original write up. After re-reading the rules, I really didn't want to get disqualified so I took it out. Instead, I tried to leave it a mystery. I was hoping that it would cause people to think about it and be intrigued, but that completely back-fired. :(

I agree with you all that I should have made a standalone monster.

Yes, this is a random encounter monster only. It could also be a farming relationship, but that was not its original design. Perhaps that was a weakness for this contest.

Someone mentioned that a larva would not hibernate for a long time. However, this concept was taken directly from our world and real insects that live here.

Charles, I pictured sandy/ desert isles. Many insect larvae do weave this exact type of cocoon. They are big enough that silk farming could be a community supporter. Once a community knew about them, they wouldn't be too dangerous.

I made a huge mistake with the Bonus Bestiary. I had not read it until someone mentioned it above. They do the antlion there. When I read the post above, I was like “NO WAY!” My monster is based on many antlion traits, and if I had known about that, I would not have entered this.

Originally, like the actual antlion of our world, I pictured the adult as a peaceful, nectar drinking beautiful creature. However, I left that open because I thought they might ask us to create a thematically linked creature. If that had happened, then I would have created a monstrous adult.

I learned a lot about writing, and a lot about myself.
I am extremely busy with a large family and teaching during the school year. It was hard to get even a few hours of time in the three days allowed for this section of the contest. I was hoping to win and really crank on this during the summer when I have a lot more time.
I also learned that I simply don’t have time to read through stacks of supplementary material. It seemed that many of you are well versed and well read on other ideas that have been presented before. That would definitely be a strength in this contest.

Hope that answers your questions.

Again, thank you all for your investment of time and all your feedback.

I am amazed at how carefully you all read not only my entry but each other's posts. Given that there are over 1000 posts on the creatures, many of you are giving up hours to give feedback to new writers.
I am really impressed by the quality and thoughtfulness of many responses.
Again, thank you.

Oooooh! I really like this monster! I can see it clearly in my mind. I especially like the imagery of it marching towards fleeing adventurers while it shoots life-sucking beams from its eyes!
Great stuff!
I agree with Roguerouge that it really feels like something from an old sci-fi movie.

I also envision this as the final defense of an imprisoned uber-powerful undead. You know, it took 30 wizards to cage it, but they couldn't destroy it. They put it in this golem and bury it deep underground behind all kinds of traps and warnings. When it is finally uncovered, the thing has instructions to run to a new hiding place. I see the head rotating 360 and shooting its pursuers as it goes. The adventurers finally catch up, and when they hit it, it sprays negative energy at them (or add blinding or something like that if you want). If it can't get away and gets cornered, then it turns to destroy those that would set what's inside it free.
Or it could be a creation of a twisted evil dude... whatever.

Amazing idea.
Thank you.

Thank you for all of your building and inspiring feedback! I love this community.

Thank you for your support and please vote for my creature!
If you have questions, I'll be happy to answer them once voting for this round is closed (not answering is harder than I thought).

Prismwing, Larvae
Description: This pulsating, dog-sized larva uses its six legs to keep itself just out of reach from its prey. An impressive set of mandibles dominates its head, and stiff spines extend forward from its sand-covered thorax and abdomen.
The coloration of prismwing larvae ranges from pale yellow to dull reddish brown, and prismatic chips embedded in their skin occasionally glint in the light. Prismwing larvae prey upon all moving, land-bound creatures that enter their shores, burying their victim’s empty shells and skeletons far beneath the shifting beaches.
Powers and Abilities: Prismwing larvae can burrow unhindered through sandy soil. The larvae hibernate for up to two years, waiting underground until they sense the tremors of an approaching living being. The prismwing larvae trap quarry in the sands of their habitat with rhythmic vibrations from their bodies. Under the creatures' influence, the grains act as a thick liquid, clinging to victims and causing them to sink into the grit’s immobilizing embrace. Since the larvae cannot absorb solids, they break down their food from a distance by hurling balls of mud formed with their acidic secreted saliva. Once their prey is incapacitated and partially digested, they move in to suck up their meal. When they have eaten twice their weight, they build a cocoon of sand and silk several feet below the surface and begin their transformation.

That is amazing!
I can't find a number of entries anywhere.
Does anyone know how many total entries were judged?

Hat's off to you repeaters!

Thank you!

Thank you all for your generous feedback and comments.
My family is so happy! This has made my day... no, my year!
Again, thank you! :)

Crystal Chalice of Dawnflower Dew
Aura faint conjuration and transmutation; CL 3rd
Slot ---; Price 5,200 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This fragile crystal chalice, cut into the form of many overlaying translucent petals, imbues the blessing of Sarenrae upon any who drink from it at dawn.
If placed on a flat surface for a minimum of four hours before the sun rises, the chalice will collect enough dew to allow a single person to drink from it and gain 1d8+3 temporary hit points until the dawn of the following day.
The dew will form under even the hottest and driest conditions, and it is not subject to evaporation. However, the liquid is susceptible to freezing as it forms.
The chalice is extremely fragile. If one or more of the crystal petals is broken, it will no longer function. Reparative magic, such as mending, will restore its magical properties but only if all of the original pieces are present.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create water, virtue (or aid), deity Sarenrae; Cost 2,600 gp

Ears vote:

I love all the energy going into creating adventures and all of that too, but what does that have to do with the artwork?

There is no reason that the artwork shouldn't be up for critisism and changing. It is as changable as the artistic compilation of words we are giving feedback on, isn't it?

Why do people act as if a critisism of the artwork somehow also rips the entire effort?

Also, people do not need to be experts on history of art, anime, or manga to tell you what looks good and bad to them. There is not some hidden progression of artistic styles that makes something look good now when it wouldn't have before.
There is not an education level required to critisize.
People who can't scratch an x on paper or make any art whatsoever are still able and qualified to judge art's appeal.

I like and am inspired by art that brings me to the fantasy setting and helps me imagine the characters involved. Art is key to this. Let a young newbie player pic a race or class and they could care less what features they have, they comb through the book looking for pictures that inspire them. Where I work, I've introduced D&D to about 10 to 20 students (on average) ages 10 to 14 every year. This is what I see. They only pick based on ability after playing awhile.

My vote on the artwork only is:

Long elven ears -- Horrible, hard to imagine, and wouldn't want to think of my or any elven character looking like that. Actually makes me not want to play an elf. Makes me want to remove all that artwork before showing the Pathfinder game to others. When I'm letting students pick races in a pathfinder game, I'll whip out the PHB and use those pictures.

Huge weapons -- Don't like weapons that would be unusable in real life unless they were made of foam. Again, the pics in the PHB are awesome. Kids can't stop looking at them.

On the positive side:
Bikini chainmail: Haven't seen any of this in the artwork yet and am loving it! Fully plate that femail warrior! Yes yes yes and finally! Sigh. The girls should have the same functional armor as the guys. Lidda in her leather in the PHB! The elven-chained female in the DMG! This is the good stuff and Pathfinder is following that model (so far). Let the sorceress dress light.

-- Deemshy