Fort:
HP: 32/39
Wits lets out a loud curse as the thing attacks him. "Consarnit and dashitall! These things are vicious, are they not?" Wits steps back five feet and draws and loads his crossbow!
Search Posts
[ooc[Sorry, missed this thread for some reason. Apologies![/ooc] Wits smiles at the sudden lumbering scarecrows. 'Well, at least this is different!' He throws his bomb at the nearest knot of scarecrows. If there are none, he throws it at the nearest threat to him. Bomb:
"Look Adonai! They've decided they like you and they want a hug. Be a dear and take care of that, eh?" Wits decides that discretion is the better part of not getting eaten by scarecrows and simply draws a bomb in this round.
"Gentlemen and lady: there seems to be something not quite correct about the scarecrow on the left there. In fact it seems to be moving against the wind, as it were. Constable! Be a dear and prod it for me. I'm a bit vertically deficient to reach it. That's it, no harm done, just give it a good prod. That's a lad!"
Perception:
"Huh. Do you think that this is one of the scarecrows the poor madman was ranting about? Doesn't seem particularly frightening." Wits steps to the scarecrow and gives it a poke.
Init:
"Indeed! Let us see the sights of the countryside. And determine whether this man is mad or merely a witness to evil."
"Well, I say, Constable, you certainly run an interesting town!" Wits studies the mumbling scarecrow man intently. "And where did you find this one? And can I study him? Is it required that he be in one piece when I'm done?"
"What sort of town are you people running here?!? No alcohol. Savages. I am surrounded by savages." Wits grumbles and hunches down in his chair. "Fine, STRONG coffee. Strong enough to fight back."
"Oh, yes please! I'll take several!" Wits licks his lips in anticipation of imminent booze.
Looking at Jerjia, Wits asks in a somewhat nonchalant tone of voice, "How is that all the nutters focus on you? Are you exuding pheromones? May I dissect your brain? How about your liver? Spleen?" Seeing the paladin's look, Wits pats the crying man on the head like a dog. "There, there, distraught human. I'm sure the police will allow your experiments to continue, provided of course, you agree to share your findings with the scientific community, of which I am a fixture. After all, I'm sure the nice specimen was not suffering. I mean, with all the screaming and fidgeting, how could possibly have known what he was feeling without properly dissecting his brain? What, Adonai? I am being empathetic!" In a lower voice, "You don't happen to have any other specimens, do you? I've simply been dying to see what effect vivisection has on the mentally imbalanced..."
Wits would like to head to this nobleman's home. Does anyone happen to know where it is?
Wits stares at Reynard. "Would you prefer to be jumped by zombies from the front? Do you have an anatomical preference for which part of your body gets chewed on?"
"Hmmmph. Well, he's not dead. And he's not likely to die shortly unless we stick more arrows into him. Seems to me this is a faith matter, Adonai. Perhaps a church could help him? Or you could always accept the inevitable and donate his body to me... I mean, science."
"You realize you're impeding the advancement of science, Adonai? Oh, very well." Wits starts forward, pulling his crossbow bolt from his crossbow and pokes him with it, hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to pierce the skin. Alchemy: Having examined the man, he puts his mouth close to the man's ear and seems to examine it carefully. Suddenly he shouts into the man's ear: "You! ARE YOU DEAD YET?!?"
"I say! Try not to damage the specimen too harshly! I need the internal organs intact for testing!"
"Humph. Of course I would sedate him first, I'm not a monster. Although perhaps it would be useful to measure the pain response in a pre-shift unliving creature. I wonder what you would use as a unit of measurement? Perhaps I will name it the Fizzlewick? Yes, I believe there are reputable peer-reviewed journals that would definitely be interested in this... Yes, Adonai, hit him with an approximate force of 10 lbs per inch. Let's begin the experimentation with a light dose of pain." Wits drops his crossbow and begins scribbling furiously, only pausing to direct Adonai's attacks.
"Hmmm. No way to tell without dissection. Can I dissect him now?" Wits will back up until he's in the doorway of the room, and draw and load his crossbow while peering at the man.
"See, Adonai, if YOU'D poked him, HE wouldn't have to PUNCH you. You really ought to pay more attention to my advice."
"Oh a thorough dissection would undoubtedly yield informative results, I'm sure. However, while it still moves, I would prefer Adonai poke him; He's got those metal pants and all, seems only fair to let him use them once in a while."
Init:
Alchemy: "Oh my. Reynard is quite correct; this man is being changed into one of the undead. Observe the bulging eyes, the pallid skin. Let's see how he adapts, I'm sure this will be educational. Adonai, poke him a bit, see if he's dead."
Diplomacy: "Indeed. Confirmation of guilt, et cetera. Now can we see the mad person?"
Wits echoes the man's sigh and steps inside. "We need to question the man regarding the nature of his attacker. Reynard here thinks he knows who it is, but we need confirmation before we go on our usual murderous way." Wits smiles at this, as if there's some sort of private joke that no one else gets.
"What's the sense of having armed men around you if you can't direct them to kill the odd fool now and again?" Wits grumbles at a barely audible growl.
"Hmm, well then, if you're not going to be reasonable about it. Adonai, kill him."
Diplomacy:
Wits peers at the man, clearly taken aback by his forthright style. "We understand you are holding a madman that is witness to a triple murder? We must see him. He may be of use in solving the murders. And if you're so interested in not disturbing the patients, why are you shouting?"
"What's that there, Reynard? Are those tracks? Fascinating, isn't it? The psychology of the killer seems to be truly demented. I mean, sawmill killing, axes, strange love notes? Intriguing situation, don't you agree?" Wits sighs, nodding his head almost lovingly.
Wits looks slightly confused by the man's outburst, but shakes his head, evidently brushing it off as the usual sort of human nonsense. Wits will wander around, eventually ending up outside the Mill, looking over the grounds. Perception:
"Hardly a scandal if they're both single. Merely a dalliance before the altar, sort of thing. Not usually the sort of thing that results in a crime of passion, I would say. This seems less like revenge and more like a crime of opportunity."
Wits keeps his eyes and nose open, scanning the area. He pulls out his formula book and sketches the locations of all the bodies, positions, conditions, etc.
Heal check:
Wits leans closer to the man's body and sniffs loudly. "Eh? What is that smell, exactly?" Craft: alchemy:
Knowledge: Local (untrained): "Hmm, bloody shavings in a sawmill? That seems like an unfortunate accident..." Wits heads straight for he first floor, to see where the shavings have come from.
Wits follows after with an eager look on his face! Perception:
Wits stifles a laugh that turns into a cough as he attempts to regain his dignity. "Well, the madman will wait, but the crime scene should be examined before it degrades. Shall we?" Without waiting for an answer, Wits finishes his drink and heads out, walking toward the local sawmill.
"Oh, indeed! I am in. This matter seems a delightful game, does it not? At least these murders take place in a civilized place instead of a drafty catacomb!"
I think Reynard is better off with the armor for now. You're more likely to get into melee than I. And the Cloak suits me. Highlights the eyes, you see.
"Chemical, you say? I may be able to ascertain the particular cocktail. Can you describe the smell or is it best smelled for oneself? We could examine this man after we see to the murder scene. A bit of looking for oneself is the best means to detection, I think!" Wits looks positively excited by the prospect of murders.
Wits really doesn't have any sort of wishes for magic items. I rather enjoy finding seemingly random things and putting them to use. I suppose a Wand of Cure Light Wounds would be useful for the group, though. I believe I can use such a thing, since CLW is on my extract list.
Previously to Ameiko: "Of course, I would be honored to have such a business such as yours to hone. I can see it now! Unbreakable glass! Glass as flexible as fabric! Oh the wonders we can create..." Concerning the murders: "Gracious! A murder! And someone who knows us? Of course, I daresay we are well known, what with the whole recent ordeals, but still, quite a challenge for the keen mind. Yes. Yes! We must go, must investigate! I have just the concoction for the job!"
Wits returns to his room at the Rusty Dragon, pausing to give Ameiko his condolences on the loss of her father and brother. He retreats to his room to unpack his alchemy lab and take stock of any missing pieces or lost reagents. In the morning, he will approach Ameiko. "Madame, I understand you have inherited the Glassworks after the unpleasantness. If you are interested in resuming operations, I would be more than happy to offer my expertise, to help in resuming normal business. If you would like, you see."
I have issue with Reynard taking the armor. May I have the cloak of resistance?
"I wouldn't mind a bit more of the brandy, please, and a bite to eat. Good to have something to wash down, you know." Wits seems to perk up a bit at the idea of food and drink.
"Umm, well, I see, yes..." Wits accepts the glass, but sips instead of drinking, for some strange reason.
|