Vince for Sham-WOW's page

*wipes up thread, drags out the corpses, and backs up the wood chipper*

This does! Watch!

*wipes Tossed Slaad from existence, then wrings him back out... along with everything else the Sham-WOW has absorbed*

I don't remember wiping THAT up...

*wipes up with Sham-WOW*

It also absorbs Chaos!

You know, I've got a product just for you!

If they keep twerking like that, I'm gonna need a sham-WOW.

hu hu hu hu hu.

Somebody around here wearing assless chaps? Sham-WOW is great for getting those sweat stains out of your dining room chairs.

Sham-Wow is also great for cleaning up unexpected results!

You're right! I should totally go down to the red light district! I have plenty of Sham-wows!

Hey, check it out! I'm playin' with myself.

Another great use for Sham-Wow!

Also great for getting out 'posits of hooker blood in your car trunk!

Wanna buy a Sham-Wow?

GAH!!!

*stops fapping*

What the heck IS that thing!?

CourtFool wrote:

Samnell wrote:

Ah yes, the bonobo conflict social system. Civilized animals, those bonobos.

Take your filthy paw off me, you damn dirty ape! …and put it here!

You know my feet also have opposable thumbs.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP!!!!!

fap fap fap

Fap fap fap

The only spam I ever get is warnings that my credit card is about to be locked, or that I am entitled to refinance my credit card at a lower rate. I don't even have a credit card.

Really? You should get one, and it just so happens that I've got a deal for you...

See how absorbent sham-wow is? It'll clean up all this fish piss in just one dip!

*dips sham-wow into bowl, draining all the water*

Now to refill!

*pees to refill bowl with onion and bourbon scented urine*

Sham-WOW is also great for cleaning up hooker blood!

It even soaks up all this dribble.

A million dollars would never be able to soak up the same mess a million sham-wows could.

Customers!

This Tiger's Blood? Pretty good stuff.

1d100 ⇒ 43

Lets see what comes up on the random trollop table, Mr. Estevez. I'm your biggest fan! Need a sham-WOW?

Studpuffin wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

People who don't like biscuits and gravy aren't doing it right!

Biscuits with red eye gravy = Bleck.

Biscuits with sausage gravy = nom nom nom.
Biscuits with beef gravy = You're doing it wrong.

Ewwwww, chipped beef and biscuits.

Oh, jeez.

Sham-WOW will get that bit of barf for you though...

I'd bite my tongue, but some hooker already bit it.

Vince for Sham-WOW wrote:

It is a sponge of a language. It picks up everything, like a sham-wow.

So...sham-wow has its own language?

F&*( yeah it has it's own d@%^ languages. It's also great for wiping finger prints off of knives.

Studpuffin wrote:

Jess Door wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I still know people who pronounce phylactery as "fluh-set-air-ry" when it is in fact "fi-lac-ter-y". It leaves me boggled when they tell me that I'm wrong too. It's in the dictionary... O_o

I never made the connection that epitome was pronounced ee-pit-oh-mee. I said eh-pih-toam.

Oof. :(

What was the Harry Potter one? That one comes to mind, but I don't know what was being mispronounced. :\

"Pique" really confused me. Then there are words that don't make ANY sense whatsoever -- "Colonel". And ones that are technically not English -- "hors d'oeuvres".

You don't really appreciate just how messed up the English language is until you have children. "Have" and "Come" are simply wrong.

It is a sponge of a language. It picks up everything, like a sham-wow.

lynora wrote:

*drops pin to listen to the echo*

No kidding.

Really guys. I took a shower this morning.

Sham-Wow makes a great bath mat.

Aberzombie wrote:

Took Babyzombie for his first pediatrics visit. He did good. First they weighed him - he had lost like 14 ounces from birth through last Friday, but since then has gained 6 ounces. He was otherwise healthy and in good shape.

And, right after they weighed him, but before I could get his diaper back on, he let loose a stream of pee across the examination room. Hit mommy's purse and jacket, and daddy's jacket. The kid is definitely dangerous without his diaper.

Did you know I also make a great diaper?

I did. You're also great for cleaning up all that hooker blood.