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I have bad news. RL is calling, so I won't be able to be on for quite a while, so I am going to have to withdraw for now. I apologize for the sudden departure and hope you all have fun. This had to be one of my most enjoyable games I've been in, so I really wish I could continue. Stay gobliny, all.
"Bad Dogdog. Torch not be obsessed. Torch be slim and fit and tough. Torch not be Torchgut or Gutorch. Torch be Fittorch." The plan seems to be just march right on in and declare Torch's immutable and undeniable dictatorship over all goblins and not-dogs. No fighting just yet, since Torch knows that all the goblins will follow him without question, except maybe gutting the old chief just to prove his point.
Thanks. The Ref did need to be one higher. The higher Nat Armor is from the Improved Natural Armor feat.
Druid Animal companions gain +1 Str/Dex at class level 3. Here's a link.
Torch's new attire had been shiny before he had actually worn it. His new armor had glistened before his bloody dog pelt clothing had smeared the polish off. Collected off of the dead halfling from the old-burned-huts, Torch had mainly claimed it because it reflected the light so well. He also had the halfling's bow, a source of entertainment to add music to his gaudy songs. His old armor which was rather piecemeal, had been distributed over parts of Not-Dog in what Torch deemed to be the most menacing looking, though if it would hold in battle was yet to be discovered. "Birdcrunchers be ahead," Torch says, beginning his plan. "We go in and make them be Torchers instead. Torch will go and defeat weak, little chief and then all will want to be Torcher instead of Birdcruncher. Birdcrunchers all stupid, so we fool them easily. Say we have present for chief. Yes. Knife to the gut, present. We kill chief like old Gutwad and be strongest goblins ever."
Level Up:
Cavalier 3
HD: +7 (d10+1) BAB: +1 Ref: +1 Will: +1 Class Ability: Cavalier's Charge Favored Class Bonus: +2 hp to mount Feat: Torch Fighter Skills: +7 (4 class, 1 Int, 2 Background Skills) Appraise +1 Bluff +1 Diplomacy +1 Intimidate +1 Perception +1 Perform (Sing) +1 Survival +1 Not-Dog
Equipment: chain barding on Not-Dog
Finally found some down time. Took longer than expected.
Will have a post up tomorrow along with level up. Great montage, by the way.
Same here. Rest for one more day to restore a bit of health/spells, then return with the 'presents' before blowing up the old and bringing in the new.
Torch enters the room and immediately realizes that this must be the treasure room. Trophies adorn the walls and ceiling. Entranced by the beautiful visage, Torch almost misses Zord finding Scribbleface's head. "Scribbleface! Bad goblin! Evil goblin! He must be taken away! No fire for bad goblin. Leave in swamp," Torch orders quickly, not wanting the bad luck from Scribbleface to affect the treasure room any more than possible. Once the goblin is taken away, Torch immediately begins to set up the room as he own personal den, removing the goblin skeletons and filling the last empty spaces on the walls with his various trophies he had been collecting, including the ears of the freshly killed doggy that was promptly cooked over the fire. Surrounded by trophies and with a constant fire going, Torch becomes quite satisfied with the setup.
Alright. Grubble Gruuu is all that's left to go.
Torch yells as the dog's teeth sink into him and his shakes violently to free himself. "I be Torch of Fire Tribe, and Torch kill you in name of Bark Breaker and make soft, smelly fur for new tribe. Fire!" With this declaration, Torch begins to swing left and right at the dog, happy to take this beast on goblin-e-doggy.
I've always wanted to try a goblin bard in a normal longshank party that used a live rat as his instrument and squeezing it in different ways to get different noises. And despite how much the druid would hate it, they would still be encouraged to fight better at the squeaks of the animal.
"It's a nasty dogsies. How dares that dogsies ruin room of Torch with being there. All fire! Kill dogsies! Torch use pelt of doggie as cabin rug."
"Dog! Nasty Dog! Fire!" Torch shouts, letting out his warcry. Leaping back from the dog, Torch quickly climbs up onto Not-Dog and grabs his weapons.
After quite enjoying the bonfire for the new Fire Tribe, Torch decides to search out their new base, already forgetting about needing to return to the old tribe with the promised boom-booms. He carefully searches both cabins and around the place to get a good grasp of his new base. Eventually, should it suit his taste, Torch makes the upper cabin into his own personal fort, with plenty of torches lit for decoration along with his many trophies.
I could see Torch being distracted by the funeral and delaying returning for a day, but he'll want to return, get the rewards for the boom-booms (only half of our stock, of course) and stab the chief a few good times. Then try to recruit some members and return. I could see us returning to carnage already done by longshanks, of course, and we then instead travel to find more members for Fire Tribe to lead into the next adventure as well. Your call.
Level Up: Cavalier 2
HD: d10
Skills: 4 Class + 1 Int + 2 Background Skills*
Favored Class Bonus: +2 hp to mount Not-Dog
Skills: +1
Feat: Improved Natural Armor
"Torch be goblin, too!" A yay over here! Also, how are we doing hit dice?
Torch presides over the ceremony, at first a bit confused yet happy to set something on fire, but then agrees with Grubble's view as he gives his speech. "All goblin love fire, and she make great fire. She also leave many Boom Booms and trophies behind for us goblins. Now she be bonfire for new tribe of Torch. May Goblin Eater spend all time in fires of Bark Breaker."
"Torch is strongest. Torch no need healing from strange glowing hands to be strong. Torch beat all as is."
As Torch gets up from dreams of setting himself on fire, Torch quickly waves everyone over. "We beat Goblin Eater, Many Legs, and Horsey. Now we have many trophies and Boom Booms! Old chief want Boom Boom, so Torch say we give Boom Boom and than Stab Stab! We take trophies from chief and find more goblins for new tribe. Then we start new tribe here. Then we eat. Many goblin pickles. Goblin pickles are good. Very good. Maybe we eat now," he says, ending up distracting himself at the end. With his derailed speech over, Torch pulls out goblin pickle portions for all to eat before heading back to old tribe.
Puffing his chest out at the title 'Chief Torch', Torch pounds his chest and decides to make his first order. "All goblins rest in new base. Then we go and get lots of stuff from old tribe, kill old chief, and find more tribe goblins for new tribe." With that decided, Torch finds a comfortable spot at the top of the pile with Not-Dog and starts to turn in.
"Fire Boom-Booms! Torch shouts as he sees the treasure inside. Torch quickly goes to light them, but stops just short of it as he recalls their mission. For the first time ever, Torch feels conflicted on what to do. To light or not to light. Looking around at the scored walls, blood stains, and piles of junk in the cabin, Torch comes to a decision. "Torch know what to do. Torch make this base for pack. Pack make new Tribe out here. We be Fire Tribe and be stronger than all other tribes. We go back to old tribe and find more members."
Tasting the delicious liquid on the stick, Torch tries a bite of it, but spits out the small piece when it turns out to be wood. No longer caring about it, Torch throws it out of the room for the others to fight over. Still wanting the prized trophies that were Goblin Eater's ears, Torch reaches up from atop Not-Dog and yanks on the lance until the body finally comes free and falls from the ceiling. Carving off her ears, Torch picks through her possessions to see if there is anything else interesting.
"She did die the Goblin Eater.
Torch chants as he pulls the items out of the pile. Devoid of anything to tear ears off of, Torch takes the large toes off of the goblin legs and the dead toad, dons the now-Torch's helmet, and lights the lantern just to see something on fire. Smelling something very akin to Squealing Nord, Torch licks the stick to see what it tastes like.
Still feeling a bit woozy with a simple short term solution inside him, Torch picks up the last two bottles and looks them over. Figuring that the bandaged one would help more, Torch downs it to help steady himself.
After feeling a bit better, Torch begins to search the room for trophies, since the Goblin Eater's ears were out of reach...for now.
After watching puppies run around in a flower-filled meadow while Not-Dog runs after them, eating them one-by-one, Torch begins to feel something happen and suddenly opens his eyes to find that it was all just a nice dream. He felt weak, but good. In fact, he felt stronger than ever. "Where bat cloud? Torch set it all on fire!" he shouts, looking around and wondering why he's outside the room for some reason.
As the bats attack once more, Torch's covered black vision goes even blacker as he loses consciousness right in the saddle. Not-Dog instintively moves from the fight as he feels his rider go limp.
Torch, Zord, Grubble Gruuu, and Dogdog have all gone, so I believe that that leaves the GM.
@Zord: Dogdog rolled early, so his turn has already gone, which is seen in the gm's description. He's not down yet.
Torch freaks out as a black rushing mass consumes his sight. Waving his torch wildly, Torch takes in a deep breath as Not-Dog forces his way out of the swarm, biting and snapping as he goes.
And now Torch knows his next course of action. Let's hope the loot surv- ...SET THE BOAT ON FIRE! THE FIREWORKS ARE PROBABLY HERE! BWA HA HA HA! We'll all go out with a bang!
Still unable to reach his target, Torch frustratingly waves his hands and weapons while Not-Dog begins to pace around as if to find a way up to the ceiling. "Goblin eater make no sense! Fire again!"
Torch waves his torch a bit, but realizes that he won't reach the goblin eater like this. Torch reaches into his pouch and draws a handful of sand and chucks it at his target with a grin. "You no beat us. You no eat us. We be hittin'. We be winnin'."
Woah. How'd you do that? New site feature?
"We no be mutts!" Torch shouts as he quickly clambers onto Not-Dog. He glances at Dogdog and Dog. "Okay, some of we be mutts, but Not-Dog not be mutt. Fire!" And with this clarifying declaration, Torch has Not-Dog rush toward the goblin eating goblin, not even considering the fact that she is both on the ceiling and he is but a few feet tall.
Very surprised to be grabbed so suddenly, Torch immediately begins thrashing and trying to get out of the creature's slimy hold from cursing to biting to letting out a horrid fart he had been holding in for a while now. Not-Dog quickly comes to try and help, but completely fails in doing anything but causing more chaos with his barking and small snips.
"Goblins and Not-Dogs! Attack!" Torch shouts as he struggles.
Torch cheers as the last dogs begins to burn. Feeling another rhyme build up, Torch begins to sing as he carves off the ears of both dogs. "We did fight and we did bite!
So cut the meat and have a treat,
After climbing back down the stairs to the main level, Torch notices the door. "It's a way-blocker!" Torch exclaims, pointing it out to the others. "Longshanks." Torch knew that longshanks used way-blockers to hide stuff, but he also knew that way-blockers were very weak, and that it was much better to hide stuff in holes in the ground. Moving to the door, Torch tries to open it and see what's inside.
Torch pulls out his dogslicer Dogslicer while he has Not-Dog rush toward the real dog. "Fire! Torch yells, becoming his now standard battle cry.
Torch bats away both the wasps and flames as they dissipate and lets out a crackling laugh. "Zord have good idea. Torch listen to Zord more," he says, seemingly unaffected by the fact that he and Not-Dog have several welts and burnt spots now. Well, besides the normal ones. In fact, Torch seems to like the makeover. :
"To the top of the water-wood-on-land!" Torch declares, continuing the treacherous and fun ride up the gangplank.
Torch stares at Zord, a bit confused with all the non-sensible words, but finally understands when he hears fire. "Fire!" Torch shouts, turning toward the mud wasp nest Zord is gesturing at. Swinging his torch hard, Torch attempts to smash the nest immediately, gleefully thinking of all the little lives blinking away from the possible damage.
Torch holds his new dogslicer up to the shine and purposefully reflects the light into his eyes. Torch lets out a sound of awe at the shiny surface. "Torch now be stronger than all!" Torch declares even as he blinks away the sun spots on his eyes. "Torch shall call it...Torchslicer!" he adds dramatically. After a few moments, though, he realizes the misconception and rethinks it. "No. Torch shall call his knife...Dogslicer! To the water-wood-on-land!" Leading the group once more, Torch rides on Not-Dog up the gangplank toward the deck of the ship, his new dogslicer, Dogslicer, sheathed to hold on to Not-Dog with the slope.
When the horse topples, Torch waits a few moments to see if it's just playing dead. Then, Torch shoves his torch against the horse's face for another few seconds just for good measure. When the only thing that happens is the sweet aroma of burnt flesh, Torch gives a cheer. "Longlegs be dead! Good horsey." Using his dogslicer, Torch carves off the horse's ears and adds them to his collection. "Good work, pack goblins and not-dogs. Now we find out what box against water-wood-on-land is. Then we feast on longlegs meat." However, as he is holding his dogslicer up, still bloody from carving into the freshly killed horse, Torch notices that the makeshift blade is not nearly as shiny and nice as the one that Grubble Gruu is holding. Holding it up close to his eye, Torch tries to judge it's quality, and even spit on it and tries to shine it up with his dirty ragged clothes, but it still doesn't shine like Gruu's blade. "Gruu give Torch dogslicer. Torch be leader, so Torch should have shiny blade," Torch reasons. "Torch give Gruu...this for it," he adds, taking off his belt with the fire-breathing elixir. Torch preferred setting things on fire with his own hands, though spitting fire would be very cool. But Torch didn't want to give up his trophy ears either, so...
"Ah! Bad horsey! Bad horsey!" Torch shouts, caught off guard. Torch waves his torch at it wildly while Not-Dog instinctively snaps at the horse's hooves.
"Words! Words! Attack!" Torch shouts, completely ignoring everything else. Charging forth on Not-Dog, Torch begins to beat the words into submission with his torch, hoping to erase the evil beings out of submission.
"Zord carry junk. Torch carry trophies," Torch replies.
@Zord: Yeah. We can just keep a loot tab unless someone claims something.
Torch is distracted watching the threads shrivel and burn as he holds out his torch near them. "Torch set this place on fire when we leave," Torch decides. Noticing the longshanks hanging around, Torch grins and pulls out his dogslicer. "Fire-Gob hold torch while Torch cut off ears," he says, handing the torch over to Grubble Gruuu. Torch begins slicing off the ears of all the longshanks, elven and human...and any other creature besides goblins. Unless they no longer look like goblins. Then Torch will cut off their ears as well. He tries to keep an eye out for any dogs as well, prizing them the most.
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