Tofutee's page

HP: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10
I get a rogue talent. Think i'll go ahead and take Trap spotter now that we will be moving out of a terrain where it is of debatable value.

BAB and saves all jumped by one as well so that ought to be nice.

We never really got around to figuring out what language we'd be using as our "secret" language was going to be.

I kind of want everyone in the group to take a rank in linguistics so Tofutee can teach them vegypygmy. It being a rhythym based language I keep imagining it as aggressive hamboning
Uh.. just like that? thanks strangely specific Internet GIF. Thats the third thing to come up when one googles "Aggressive hamboning."

Hrmm.. we never did at that.
I advocate for equal Exp in most groups just to cut down on bookkeeping.
If using Exp at all that is.

Leveling is always nice and I'm set to roll on game.

Oi, get back into your own thread.

I mean I suppose I could write sonnets of love about myself.

Yes.

As asked earlier here is the loot total for our current venture.

Dead Derro:
Memories
Snacks
6 shortswords
6 light crossbows
6 leather armor
6 poison vials? (not sure)
Trinkets and letters from the dead derro's family asking when they would be home with food money. Little timmy Derro is getting sicker.
(all derro items are small)

Dead Adventurers:
2 Leather armor
1 Chainmail shirt
3 backpacks
100ft rope
torchesx9
15 metal spikes
2 hammers
3 pints of oil
1 warhammer
4daggers
1 longsword
1 shortbow 9arrows
1 light crossbow 12bolts
1MW ironshod staff

Non-living loot:
15,000gp
2500 of it stored in small coffers and the rest is stored in bags.

Conveniently enough that sort of motley collection would serve quite well to establish strangers as moderately successful adventurers in most setting that have them.

Tofutee shrugs at Bud. " I get the feeling they want us to go right now with they way they interrupted our run in the tournament to do this. If they can convert the coins into something the locals will take we should likely have an easier time travelling. Even with the excuse of "Adventurers" our little group is a bit more colorful than the average murder-vagrant."

I'm unsure, give me a little bit and I'll roll back a few pages to get the info on our most recent collection.

Tofutee shrugs, putting on the bracelet " Well the boss lady knows what she is doing. I hope."

Tofutee then looks to the gigantic pile gold and reclaimed weapons coated liberally in blood both old and new.
" So uh.. anyway we could get this heaping pile of gold converted into the local currency in case violence doesn't prove to be the solution? Adventurers do have a tendency to like gold almost as much as the enjoy killing minions doing their job."

Tofutee nods, looking to each who speak in turn before returning with her own comments.

" So.. you don't want us to plunder, pillage and or maim our way through this IRS group? That doesn't sound like any fun at all. Wandering into this places home territory and poking about looking for information on something they likely don't want to talk about doesn't sound like its going to make that simpler." Tofutee replies as she gives the minion a pointed grin.

" Now the real question thats gonna keep him up at night is if you meant figuratively or literally about the drinks being on you."

With that she nods to Ruul " I have just the simp- superbly skilled companion! for that job. Beast, you like pushing buttons and being helpful right?" Tofutee asks with only a minor pause revealing her slip of the tongue.. maw.. face thing.

"Also are we going to address the fact that Horns and Shiney here are not actually part of the company so to speak." Tofutee states before squinting at the pair.
" Wait, your with the performance review team aren't you? I mean that would explain the sudden arrival and capacity for murder."

" I don't know about you but I know for certain I could live an exorbitant life style on a tenth of that. Pickled halfling toes and the fillet Spiduffalo cuts every day sort of living. I mean, not nobility stinking rich but that sort of money means I would never have to work another day in my life. I'd still be able to funnel a good chunk back to my sisters as well." The plant fires back
" I mean what with your quest to drink yourself into the grave and back out again perhaps your more a monster of wealth and taste than I am but thats still a massive pile of cash."

Not one to lose out on an excuse Tofutee follows the minion into the much spoken of control room. The room in question disappointing nearly every rumor the plant had ever heard of the place. Taftara owes me ten gold. Knew it wouldn't live up to the hype.
---- then tofutee hears the pitch
Tofutee adjusts her disgustingly garish glasses as she looks up at the minion with a slow blink. What?
" That.. that's a lot of gold." The plant comments blandly as she scrutinizes the corners of the room.
" This isn't some sort of convoluted ploy to get us to off ourselves on a suicide mission right? Because while its nice to have some dirt on a minion you really ought to know I'm not dumb enough to think using it would result in anything but my death." The plant informs as she looks with some interest at the crystal wrist jewelery.
" I mean standard 'Untold wealth' offer ticks off a half dozen warning flags in my mind. I figure the offer being what it is we would be going into this completely blind? Do you have anything more specific about this SS group and its IRS overlords? Don't suppose the mirrors former owner is still looking for it or did the adventurers 'Love and Peace' them into an early grave when they took it?" the plant woman asks, adding in her mostly unnecessary air quotes to terms deemed to require them.

I am entirely cool with this plan in general but I can't imagine Tofutee agreeing to this right off the bat. Jumpy little thing that she can't help but get more information before diving into something like this.

I'm here for the long haul, I doubt anything you could change would scare me away at this point. Though I will be quite sad if I have to shelve Tofutee to participate.

Tofutee points to the unexplored end of the hallway.
" Sounds like a resounding 'that way' to me"

Somehow I missed that as an option.

Take your time, doubtless we shall be around.
A shame there are no secret doors though. Those are always the best kind of doors.

Once we get the treasure sorted out I guess we take one of the paths through the door on the other side of the hallway from the portcullis.

We have two paths to take on that.
Would it make sense to get the rolls done for our next direction done? Or would you prefer we wait until you've had a chance to iron out our loot totals first?

So it looks like from this room we have:
2500gp in small coffers
12500 gp in bags.

Corpse loot of as yet to be determined value.

Shortswords, leather armor, crossbows and poison vials from the dead Derro.
Also snacks.

It doesn't look like we rolled for it but would it be correct to assume that this room is a dead-end?
Seems like the Derro might have ran the other way if there had been a path. They are not exactly the type of creature to stand and fight unless they absolutely have to.

Would it make sense to roll to see if there is a secret door around here?

You would be correct. I'll correct the number of charges mine has remaining.

"Eh, no problems. You going wild like that meant I was able to get to when I needed to be. Didn't know an imp could do that expand-y thing. Looks handy. Hope it isn't limited to a number of uses a day, we've only just started." With that she begins clearing the recently killed mooks of their gear and calls over her shoulder
" So, what path should we take next?"

With a sickening crunch of fibrous meat tofutee takes the offered snack. leaning back on one of the nearby walls tofutee looks at the loot
"Whell *crunch* *smack* that went *pop* wraver whell *crunch*"
a loud gulp heralds the plant finishing the snack and gestures to Ruul
" Though it looks like not all of that blood is theirs. We have one of those Asmodean torture sticks if you all need healing. Figure you don't want to waste your powers on it outside combat on account of us only have 24 hours to win this tournament and having been trapped down here. We are definitely going to need to conserve our tricks."

With the majority of the battlefield covered in the gore of her companions exuberant exertions tofutee gives her rapier a quick post-murder shake. She then looks at the forces arrayed against the remaining warrior and laughs.
" So we wanna draw straws or something? Eh. Nah I'm just gonna put a hole in him. Killing blow gets a free meal at the tavern once we get out of this place" With that she moves right up behind the little man.
Provokes an AOO.
" Hey there Delicious."

Stab: 1d20 + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 - 2 ⇒ (11) + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 - 2 = 231d4 + 5 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 5 + 2 = 9
The little plant attempting to pommel bash the creature in the eye on the follow-up. *
dirty trick: 1d20 + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (1) + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 = 15
if successful I render the guy blinded for 1 round. move action to remove the condition.

Edit: HA! oh man thats great. As CMB checks count as attack rolls for the most part I'm pretty certain that is a miss. What I get for trying to be clever.

Man I would be impressed if Ruul had the feat that makes 5ft steps provoke. I mean on account of it requiring 11 levels of fighter to be able to take it and all.

Tofutee moves into the room smirking at Buds arcane frustrations
"You should shake it, darn technology right? Hrmm.. that guy you just hit looks like he needs to become a Kabob." The plant woman attempting to accomplish precisely that as she moves into the room with sharp and shiny rapier at the ready.
don't know the current bad guy positions but I'm assuming I provoke from at least one of them as tofutee move into the room to get flanking on one of these guys.
Acrobatics: avoid AOO: 1d20 + 12 - 10 ⇒ (13) + 12 - 10 = 15 to avoid the attack while going full speed. I doubt I'll be able to flank with only 15ft of movement to work with.

Stab: 1d20 + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (13) + 10 + 3 + 2 - 1 = 271d4 + 5 + 2 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 5 + 2 + 6 = 15

No worries, at the moment I'm attempting to bore holes into the back of Bud's neck over the internet so he posts an action.
*ominous latin chanting*
Either it works or I summon Cthullu or something. Should be interesting either way.

tofutee looks over at the old one " Nah, your version of tenderizing is melting it until I have to eat the thing with a straw. Worst case I'll just take one of the bigger chunks once those two have had their fun."

She then proceeds to place a hand on her ear and groan as the Lightbulb launches off into his rhetoric Mah... so loud. The baconling mutters. Though it doesn't stop her from admiring the carnage the strange shining warrior brings.
" Err, also we are going to kill you now." The plant woman drawls blandly.

Thanks for the update and I wish you the best.
I shall certainly miss the semi-threatening innocence beast had. The amusing events waiting to happen later as he grasped the idea that meat tasted good and tofutee was exceptionally tasty meat.

Tofutee rapidly hammers a spike into the rail track stealing glances at the carnage that was about to unfold.
" Hey Ruul, if you die I'm going to eat at least part of you just so you know. Also, Old guy and Shiny it would be great if you can keep one of them around for me." Tofutee says as she gives on of the creatures a grin.
" They look like they might be tasty. I've never eaten a whatever they heck they are before."

I enjoyed the cow level.

Ael and iel are commonly used in angelic names, if I recall correctly this would be because those suffixes mean something like "Of god"

On the topic of cows I'm fairly sure Ruul just rendered that mook into custard. Lets hope hes in a position where someone provokes the bull before the rest flee.

Tofutee pulls out an iron rod, that pops into the shape of a crowbar. The plant woman passing the object to the shining one.
"Here, it should help with the lifting. I'll stand to one side and spike it open. Ruul, Old guy why don't you stand guard in case these jokers get any ideas?"

Crowbar adds +2 to str check for lifting crap. enough that just one of our two strong men can open the gate alone. Tofutee has 3 iron spikes.

tofutee nods to her current allies and then to the creatures on the otherside. " Well we still have to actually open the damn gate, thing has to be pulled up. Should take us much trouble with everyone working as a group. And nothing works up my appetite like a good trap. Poison gas, looks like a good vintage as well. Shall we get on with this?"
The toothy woman smiles at the pale creatures on the other side of the door.
" Oi. Can I have the one on the far right if they fight? He's got a tasty lookin' face."

So we have a rule set in this game where if you want to just take 20 on lifting a portcullis or opening a jammed door it takes 1d6: 1d6 ⇒ 3 rounds to accomplish. Assuming the net total of STR mods in the group is enough the object pops open. I'm about ready to jump these folks
Assuming these Derro are still confident enough i'm also going to roll initiative preemptively. Just to see if tofutee gets to eap on one with a mighty yodel of victory before they try to shoot her full of holes.

Init: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Edit: that doesn't look good for my dreams of face snacking.

Tofutee shrugs as Bud sticks close and those having more clever minds move away. Eh. I get the feeling they are standing over there because they know the score."

Tofutee, both hands working on the portcullis shrugs in the direction of he-of-shiny-countenance " Like I said. Smite-y

Oh boy, corpse loot. Free money and a snack.

"Why do I get the feeling the one who responded first is named Cleetus and he's the leader here? I mean really between shiney and horns you really want to chance fate here?"
Tofutee nods at the obviously not trapped object and gestures to her companions. " Alright, I need a bit of space to work on this one. move say thirty paces back unless you fancy testing your poison immunity." With that she seems to have a sudden though.
"Human sized paces that is."

Assuming you all move back.

Disable:trap: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (12) + 15 = 27
Disable:lock: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (10) + 15 = 25

Tofutee sets about dealing with the mechanism of the trap first attempting to divine its nature. Prodding the dangerous mechanics to find weaknesses to exploit.

the heavily trapped portcullis. yes.

Tofutee seeing no immediate danger from the humanoids shrugs as she continues her work. "As Horns over there said, and its likely to be a sizable service fee. You've the misfortune of getting trapped down here while the annual loot tournament is happening. Plus our shiney gent over here is looking.. awfully smite-y."

Perception:trap: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (19) + 18 = 37 Oh yeah. Tofutee sees all sorts of traps.

"Also that is one hideous trap. That how you got the marks behind you?" the baconling asks, gesturing to the corpses behind the humanoids.

Tofutee looks at her newest companion on reflex before wincing " Argh. could you be.. I don't know. Less shiny? Also if glory is the path to reward why does it seem all those wizards that took the slow and steady path to power win the race on the material plane? Dunno about you but I find gambling my life a rather odd desire because it is very specifically self endangering. It my life after all, be a shame to lose it. I was asking Bud because we got nailed by some sort of mind voodoo earlier. I wouldn't put it past Dupree to have some sort of suggestion on the tournament participants to encourage them to die in spectacular and violent ways." The bacon scented plant woman replies as she turns her head back to the wooden hole-y door in front of her.

A gate with holes, yes.

If I think of something I'll make sure to let you know.

*shrug*

Every type of Giant is a humanoid. There is like eleventy billion of those in every rainbow shade or elemental flavor.

A group of half-dragon ogres plucking banjos and arguing about the best way to cook bacon and/or if angel tears are good marinade springs to mind.

Assuming we can survive the fight it might actually be quite the boon for us.
As apparently this is a thing.

Note: Special Monsters and Guarded Treasures
Some Treasures, when they are indicated with a Monster Encounter, should be larger (at the discretion of the GM). For example, a Dragon and a Treasure together would indicate, possibly, a Dragon Horde. Generally, if the Encounter CR is 3 higher than the APL, a larger Treasure may be called for, roll three times on the table, and take the highest two rolls.

EDIT:
Oh were-creatures. Were-wombats. the best kind of bestial transformation.

Bah that isn't a dragon.
Still though, hooray. Monsters to loot and treasure to kill.

I'm unsure if it will matter but did you add in the -2 on the monster CR dice roll on account of us being in a dungeon level lower than our collective level average?
We are on DL 6 and are a L5 party.
Don't know if that will change much.

There we go. most recent post edited to reflect the fact of our newest door being a portcullis.
Roll away oh preserved purveyor of percolated puissance.

I'm hoping for a dragon. Perhaps we can challenge him to a game of backgammon rather than him eating our faces.

If I recall correctly portculli (I'm not sure if there is an actual plural for that in English) you can roll the area behind because you can see into it.

Perhaps our strapping shiney warrior can determine the wood of said object is pure evil and set out to slay it.
That could be fun to watch.

Tofutee looks up at the soggy human and seems to consider for a moment before shrugging
" Hate to burst your bubble but there are literally thousands of us down here. Perhaps I never bothered to explain but i'm the direct result of a science experiment that went horribly wrong and was more trouble to kill than it was to give a job. We mostly get employed in reclamations." With that the bacon scented one looks at the indicated door. Then realizing said door is not in fact a door but a portcullis tofutee looks through the obstruction as well.

I mean the other reason I don't roll everything is that the dice generator seems to have it out for me but sure, why not.

Beyond the door: 2d20 ⇒ (3, 17) = 20
(3) a passage way parallel to the door extending 30ft in both directions.
(17) the passageway is 15ft wide.

Oh boy, more passages.

Tofutee seems to wait for a moment to see if Bud explodes before looking at the door herself. On ascertaining the magic of the door the bacon scented one swiftly gets to work on disassembling the door in front of the group.

I'll just use the disable i already rolled if permitted. if not

disable lock: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (17) + 15 = 32

the door opening to reveal...
More hallways?

Seriously did that #$&^% just drop us in a corner of the dungeon that just doesn't have anything interesting in it?" The baconling complains, gesturing to the empty room
" I mean I'm all for not getting murdered, don't get me wrong but I think this tournament might be one of the few times where I'm taking issue with not having my life threatened. Is that weird?"

Perhaps I should have pointed it out but Tofutee already rolled a disable device check for any prospective traps.
Assuming there is no issue with doing so, there is no trap on the door so I'm just going to use that roll on the lock.

So if Ruul feels the desire to roll some stuff for opening the door I'm pretty much set to crack it
If not I can roll them out myself.

Its one of those things that I've noticed that the rogue ends up being the one rolling a good chunk of the dice for new rooms by dint of being the first one in.
I've not been sure how best to jump that particular hurdle myself.

Yep, I missed that.

Hey how else am I going to get delicious chunks of beer pickled human than by following you around and waiting for bits to drop off?

Also no problem.

Hey while you are here want to roll to see what is either behind the door or the variety of horrible traps that are on door #2?

I mean I figured I had to leave #2 for someone, why not you?

Alrighty. If anyone wants to do the honors on the other door feel free. If not I'll roll for that one when Tofutee examines it.
Lets call this door #1. just to be all sequential.
Non-standard?: 1d6 ⇒ 6
Nope, the most generic of doors. An upstanding example to all door kind of what the generic uninteresting door ought to be.

DOOR WHAT DOTH THOU HOLD!
door dice: 3d20 ⇒ (17, 8, 13) = 38
(17) a good wooden door
(8) locked
(13) With a lock of DC 20+DL (25 I think)

Okie dokie. So no trap, and the lock is defeated by tofutee's roll of disable.

*shifty eyes*
Hey... hey bud. here have a link.

Ibriham Al Ramba
url=http://paizo.com/people/IbrihamAlRamba] Ibriham Al Ramba[/url
Looks like fun.
Also looks like recruitment is wrapping so I'll avoid adding my hat to this particular ring. Best of luck.

EDIT: Me, stalk a player/Internet friend to potentially swoop down and sup on their liver when they are not looking?
No, no I would never commit such a delicio.. I mean deplorable act. I am also certainly not a Vrock demon.

tofutee hems and haws at the door before nodding to the drunk.
"Care to give the door a look over with those wizard eyes of yours. I'd prefer to know if there is a chance of becoming a wombat here. or getting punched by a Trog." The plant woman asks as she gives a faux suspicious look to the man in question.
" I mean assuming you haven't gone blind since last time we were down here."

For when we get around to this part
trap spot: 1d20 + 18 ⇒ (14) + 18 = 32
trap disable: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (15) + 15 = 30

You alright with me rolling to see what the doors have in store for us Terquem?

Start with the first table: Periodic check.
Roll to find out what is ahead of us and follow along on the charts as directed.

If we end up with a new passage there are some rolls to determine how big it is but we haven't hit that yet.

I usually just roll a big pile of D20's in preview so I don't have to constantly refresh the page as I follow where those rolls take me.
Others like to have them in orderly blocks. they look very nice.