TimeyWimeyTimmy's page

My dear, haven't you realized it yet? Fred cannot be harmed, much less killed, and what you have is the real win - every copy is the real win. But since you refuse to leave peacefully...

[i]* Timmy suddenly disappears, only to reappear in the middle of a desert on a strange world. Thousands and thousands of The Win fall from the sky to bury Timmy

Timmy narrows his eyes as he begins to dodge the sudden rain, barely keeping ahead while the wins whistle around him.

Timmy pants as he survives the piles of wins, before chuckling. "Not bad old timer... But..."

With another flick of his wrist, Timmy retrieves his previously thrown dagger... Complete with the Original win stuck to the side. "You really oughta check your pockets, or lack thereof, before you send people away. Or make an effort to find out if they might've had a dagger that teleports back to the psychic signal of its owner."

Timmy whistles to himself as he drags through a portal taking him to hell, snickering all the way.

TimeyWimeyTimmy wrote:

"Huh? Oh bloody he-"Timmy grimaces as the illusion falls away, clinging on for dear life as the bear tosses his body from side to side. "Strike two indeed, and with all the bases loaded too." Timmy looks forever at the old man, and grins as a tiny mote of light appears beside him.

"But I've still got one strike left."

Earlier:

As the illusion drops upon Timmy, and the bear rears it's head, a tiny mote of light appears, and Timmy blinks. "S!!*."

With a leap to the side, Timmy barely dodges the larger mass of the ursine, and his eyes leap toward the old whateveritis with a grim grin. "Nasty trick, that. But as I've said before," Timmy leaps as he speaks, dodging another blow as makes his way over to the old whatever it is, "my foresight just so happens to be 20-20." As Timmy flips, a giant wave of kinetic force ripples through the building, courtesy of someone's bowl movements. With a flick of the wrist, Timmy sends a dagger flying through the air, just barely missing the older fellows breast by a hair.

"Well, sir? What now?"

Step aside, Teddy.

Now, now, do you really think your foresight is 20-20? I have observed the births and deaths of countless universes. I was old before time existed. Death is my younger brother. Do you really think your little blades can harm me. Now take your prize and go before I show you what an old codger can really do!

* with those words a blood-red moon blocks the sun, plunging the planet into darkness, as what can only be described as the sounds of the gods crying out in terror fill the sky *

Shrugs towards Teddy as he sighs. "I appreciate the offer, really do. Awfully nice and a that. BUT. I've got a job, and unfortunately, the client won't accept anything but the real product."

Timmy then looks over at the old fella, eyes narrowed as he begins his speech.

"Look, I'd hate to start up another ruckus here. You've got nice drapes over there, and the only thing missing from the fireplace is an bear rug. On the other hand, I've a contract to fill, and the stakes are a wee bit higher than I'd like if I didn't make good. So, I apologize for the window, and the damage to your shirt. If you could give me the REAL win, I'd be out of your hair, and life as a... Whatever you are, carries on. Shake on it?"

"Huh? Oh bloody he-"Timmy grimaces as the illusion falls away, clinging on for dear life as the bear tosses his body from side to side. "Strike two indeed, and with all the bases loaded too." Timmy looks over at the old man, and grins as a tiny mote of light appears beside him.

"But I've still got one strike left."

Earlier:

As the illusion drops upon Timmy, and the bear rears it's head, a tiny mote of light appears, and Timmy blinks. "SHIT."

With a leap to the side, Timmy barely dodges the larger mass of the ursine, and his eyes leap toward the old whateveritis with a grim grin. "Nasty trick, that. But as I've said before," Timmy leaps as he speaks, dodging another blow as makes his way over to the old whatever it is, "my foresight just so happens to be 20-20." As Timmy flips, a giant wave of kinetic force ripples through the building, courtesy of someone's bowl movements. With a flick of the wrist, Timmy sends a dagger flying through the air, just barely missing the older fellows breast by a hair.

"Well, sir? What now?"

* lets out what can only be described as a laugh as every last one of the blades bounces harmlessly off my hide *

Rawr!

* grabs Timmy's head with a speed far greater than a creature my size should be capable of and... *

(Note: The rest of of what happens to poor Timmy has been censored for the sanity of our readers - please note the words Flawless Victory and Fatality were both seen and heard)

* heads back to the kitchen *

Timmy grins as the bear runs to him, only for the bear to find the daggers back in his hands, flicking them into the bears mouth as he deftly dodges the attack of the unnaturally agile bear, while grinning as the charging bear, missing its target, slams its head through the broken window, shattering the rest of the remaining glass.

"Good thing my Foresight just so happens to be 20-20. Well, in any case, I've got an old codger to find, and a Win to snatch."

As the bear no doubt frees itself violently, Timmy is already gone, his supernatural speed carrying him towards the kitchen.

* notices TimeyWimeyTimmy heading for the kitchen, grabs him by the trousers, carries him outside the citadal, drops him on the ground, and places a massive paw on his back, cracking three of Timmy's vertebrae *

GRRRRRRR!

(Translation: Nobody messes with Grandpa Wonderbra!")

* walks back in and gives Alissa's Bear some honey, a salmon, and two rainbow trout from his basket *

Grawph Rrr Grawr grr roar

(Translation: Grandpa Wonderbra taught me it's good to share so I decided to share some of my treats with a fellow Ursidae)

Timmy lays still for a moment before grunting. With a sickening CRACK, his spine aligns itself back into place, and Timmy jumps to his feet.

"Damn, had to lose a chunk of time for that. Bloody hell I'm getting rusty. Oh well."

As swift as Jumpin Jack Flash, Timmy leaps through the window, several daggers leaping from his hands into the uncouth ursine, all aimed at the center of his large mass so as to minimize misses.

*Sometime after, in an undisclosed location nearby...*

Timmy grumbles to himself as he scales the walls barehanded, ears perked for trouble. "'Get the win for me,' he said. 'You'll be debt free!' he said. Well, damn that jackass, and double damn me for being too drunk to realize he was counting cards."

With a grunt of effort, Timmy throws himself over the wall, panting a little as he c looks around. "Now, if I were an old geezer with oddly well built pockets and a habit of baking nonstop... I'd be in the kitchen."

Timmy stalks his way towards his target, daggers in hand and a self sure smirk on his face.