we had Warpriest's funeral/wake this evening. and it still hasn't hit yet. maybe i'm just still watching for everyone or anyone around me to break, so that i can be solid when the rest of the world isn't. or maybe i'm just a cold-hearted, monstrous sumb**+@ that can't be vulnerable about it. idunno. but Magus? that kid is all heart, and in the best way. if Warpriest is out there in whatever beyond there is, and can see what Magus is doing, he's laughing his ass off in pure joy at just how strong a son he's raised. eighteen years old, and he's herding his family -- siblings, aunt, parent, all of 'em. eighteen years old, and he held it together long enough to speak clearly to a gathered crowd about his father (i know i couldn't for my own Dad). eighteen years old, and he would have toted his father's ashes to the graveside and then buried him all by himself, but he didn't -- he brought in everyone he could as part of that rite, but then finished the job alone. ah. there it is. *now* it's hitting. rest easy, Warpriest. you did a good job.
spoilered 'cause political and big tech:
i've made it pretty plain that i'm no longer likely to vote Democratic. it's a process that has been ongoing for most of the last five years or so, but it's crystallized rapidly, of late. and big tech knows it. what few feeds i have in terms of news and social media reflect my current state of mind and interests, but . . . .
UGH. i can't watch a single YouTube clip without seeing Harris plastered across my screen, asking for money i don't have to spare. or Walz talking about the "right to safety from guns" or somesuch. i think i've gotten two Trump-associated ads in the last three weeks. yep, i've got opinions. yes, you'd likely think that because of my upbringing i'd be more likely to vote Democratic. yes, i've voted Democratic in the past. but everybody knows where i stand in this. i'm completely fed up with political advertising, no matter from which side it comes. i can't wait for November the fifth. till then, f%~~ the algorithm, and the company pushing it. *mini-tirade ends* in other news, the weather has been quite pleasant for the month of August -- the temperature has gotten down into the upper 60s in the early morning a few times. the yard is in decent shape, the dogs seem content, and it's nice to sit on the porch for a few hours at a stretch, just relaxing. the world is absurd and nonsensical, but i'm generally okay.
thanks, Vany. i *am* trying "not to try" with Magus, though i may have overdone it a bit in the last couple of days. i'm making a conscious effort to not be obtrusive. the last thing he needs is somebody meddling. i think i've said and done all i can and should until he communicates otherwise. and i hadn't quite thought of it all in the same way you phrased it, but i wonder if i might be in a mode of being more concerned with others' sense of loss than my own. i don't know. in tandem with what i said above, i'm probably just going to keep to myself more for a while. we'll see what it's like when it really catches up to me. tonight's game session will probably be the first true test. i'm here for it. gaming is (a good part of) life. gamers are family.
the reality of it still hasn't set in. this past Tuesday morning, one of my two best friends died. he was a single (divorced) father of four. he had celebrated his 46th birthday just Monday. over the last two years, he had opened his home to host our regular game sessions, both for my post-KotOR II Star Wars homebrew, and my current fantasy homebrew game. he was an excellent roleplayer, and devilishly clever when it came to driving the narrative forward in any ttrpg i'd played alongside him. in many ways, he was the heart of my regular group. i'll miss him, and likely more than i can truly understand at this point. i'm not bringing this up simply to remark upon and/or mourn the loss, though, but to get some feedback from any of you who may be willing to venture into the weeds. i'm going to spoiler most, if not all, of what follows, because i believe it's fair to say that it gets pretty grim from here. this is about what comes next:
i'm going to do a little repeating of myself to set this up. the core of my group consisted of Warpriest, Witcher, and Magus -- these are the designations i'll use henceforth.
Warpriest, Witcher, and i all graduated high school the same year. Warpriest and i ventured farther out into the world; Witcher stayed in our hometown. Warpriest and Witcher got married and started families; i got married and divorced before either of them made their vows, if i remember correctly. eventually, Warpriest and i moved back home, and over several years we three eventually reconnected. by that time, Warpriest had had his four children, and his wife had filed for and gotten her divorce (i phrase it this way because Warpriest didn't want it). Magus is Warpriest's second child. Tuesday, Magus skipped school, and at some point in the morning went downstairs to check on Warpriest, and found him cold and unresponsive. the calls were made, the family gathered, and after some time the text notification to Witcher and me was sent. i woke up to the news, and was gut-punched. i cannot fathom what Magus is feeling. what he felt. he had already been confronted with the possibility of Warpriest's mortality a couple of months before, as he was the only person on-scene when Warpriest had his first heart attack (this is our tentative guess for cause of death). he's a solid young man, and loves his father deeply. i haven't gotten to see him in person, yet, so i can't well gauge exactly where he is with this tragedy, but he's tough, and seems to be holding together rather well. the part that worries me isn't Magus, or his older brother, or his younger sister -- it's his little brother, and their mother. this is where my personal bias enters the frame most clearly: i think Warpriest's ex is an indisputable idiot. and Magus' little brother is special needs: very much on the "difficult" end of the autistic spectrum. in and of itself, those two components aren't necessarily alarming -- i think we all know of parents who might not make good decisions still managing to love and raise their children well. but Warpriest's ex made a recent decision that only came to light in the last two weeks, and its potential to go abso-f$@$ing-lutely sideways in the worst possible manner is astounding. evidently, War-Ex (for brevity) let the four kids stay with Warpriest on Mothers' Day weekend (weird, right?) . . . and went and married a guy she had only known for two weeks. and she kept it a secret. from the kids, from the family, from Warpriest. apparently, it was only a slip of the tongue in a conversation two weeks ago that dumped the news on everyone. to say that Warpriest was incensed is an understatement. for as long as i've known him, he's been a volatile person (and justifiably so -- long, long story; suffice to say that he has overcome a great deal to live as stable a life as he did, and provided for those kids, and his friends). his hotheadedness back in high school was legendary, and i've never seen or heard him react to anything in the way he broke this news to me and Witcher. i'm not suggesting that War-Ex's Newb is a bad guy -- but i know Magus didn't take to the news very well, and he's had some exposure to Newb. but nobody knows who this guy is. "he ain't from around here, y'know?" so there's that unfamiliarity already in play, and then the secrecy surrounding this new marital bond is . . . it's just alarming. and when i look at those things and acknowledge Magus' younger brother's vulnerability . . . . that just takes it to another level for me. i've communicated my love and support to Magus, and plainly told him that he can bring anything to me that he feels he should. but that's easily seen as just another stack of "event-appropriate" platitudes; he might not grasp just how serious i am. maybe Newb is good for War-Ex, and good for the kids, and we just don't see it yet. i hope that's the case. but i can't help but feel . . . unsettled . . . by the ramifications of this new reality. i have no valid legal claims; i have insufficient socioeconomic clout to achieve anything, should real aid become necessary . . . . but i'm trying to make sure that Magus knows i'd be more than happy to remain an active part of his life. it may be of great help in the present, and maybe even moreso in the future. i'm not trying to inject myself into that murky dynamic; i'm just trying to leave an avenue of communication open to Magus if he ever feels he needs it. just a "steady on" approach. am i correct in feeling/thinking that some 'alert attention' is justified here, FaWtLies? or am i just projecting too much paranoia with a dash of hero complex? -------------------- i miss my friend. i want the best for his kids, even if my part in their tales is already ended. i'm sure most of that came out as a garbled mess. i'm looking for some validation, tempered by wise counsel -- i figured touching base with y'all was a good idea. wordify away, please. thanks, gang.
i haven't had a credit card since 2005-06 (which, incidentally {?!}, is right around the time i finished ridding myself of the ex-wife and paying off her financial excesses). i don't miss them, and never plan to have one again. that 20+% rate is absurd. at best. and i think other, much less polite descriptors are more appropriate. but, then, i get it -- the dollar ain't what it used to be. for some damn big pile o' reasons, surely . . . .
Limeylongears wrote:
essentially, yes, it's keto -- a slightly more permissive version of the carnivore diet. it took less than 30 days for me to get my blood glucose and triglycerides under control, and i've started eating more eggs to build a better balance on HDL/LDL ratios. now i'm nine months into the diet, and the good results i've gotten have proven easy to maintain. as much as i love pasta, beer, and Dr. Pepper, i have probably gotten down to less than 100 grams of carbohydrate intake per week, on average. i'm trying to phase out the cigarettes (again) and develop an exercise regimen outside of the workplace, but really all i've changed is the food i eat. and the benefits have been nothing short of spectacular, already.
Scintillae wrote: Not necessarily. If you don't lose the will to live after a few hours in a car, some of those can be done in less than a day. Missouri's about 4 hours from east to west. unless you're traveling from southwest TN to southeast NE (yup, did that!), in which case Missouri is an absolutely soul-crushing 10-11 hours, simply because diagonal highways aren't much of a thing there. though i'm sure that hour count includes a decent lunch and a couple additional stops . . . . it was 26 years ago i first embarked on that journey, and i only recall that it was rather miserable. hence my rebranding of the Show-Me State as "Misery".
'cause: This is a special day.
There are no words in any language that can properly express my rage. There aren't even enough flammable petrochemicals the world over for a struck match to provide "a halfway decent start". The only true grace note of humor in all of it that is worth sharing: "Voting for [obvious redaction] just because you don't like [the other obvious redaction] is like eating $#!7 because you don't like broccoli." Fortunately, both $#!7 and broccoli burn.
NobodysHome wrote: Freehold's dream come true... i'd wager it's 7.5/10 -- insufficient numbers of milkmaids in the classroom. EDIT: this is not a bait-and-switch
Waterhammer wrote: I saw a news item about storing solar power. In Scotland, I think. They were building an elevated reservoir and planned to pump it full of water during the day and drain it out through turbines at night. With such a system you would want to maximize solar output to run those pumps as well as take care of the normal power consumption. how often are clear, sunny days to be had in Scotland? i'm pretty sure the gravity's always turned on, but not so certain about the solar output . . . .
NobodysHome wrote:
kill it with fire. this is the only reasonable option.
wordy 'bout music: i only ever managed to watch the first season of Metalocalypse, and i generally enjoyed the music -- even got the album. but from what i have gathered, they've transitioned from low-register semi-discernible growling lyrics (to my ear) to the high-register shriek-scream vocals in their more recent work -- i haven't liked the newer stuff i've heard from them, and don't recall understanding the words.
and going back to David's examples: i didn't exactly like Blooddrunk, musically, but the style was more to my taste; Grotesque Impalement is a strict no-go for me -- the music might be just fine, but the vocals sound too much like a hyena growling while trapped in a galvanized trash can. like i've said before, i can detect sound just like everyone else, but being able to make any sense of it is very touch and go. the only speculation i can reasonably hazard about it has something to do with what i'll call "vocal clarity". i might not be able to get the lyrics on any particular listen, for whichever artist, but if the artist's diction and enunciation are solid, there's a fair chance i'll like what i'm hearing (at least, within the scope of palatable genres, that is). i enjoy most music based upon instrumentation, perhaps you could say. the voice is an instrument, and if the vocals are the focus of your music, then i need to be able to understand them. if we filtered out the gutter-growls from Grotesque Impalement, i'd probably be fine with it. on the other hand, if your instrumentation is mechanical rather than organic, it doesn't have to be clear for me to enjoy it -- turn the distortion to 11, if you like. . . . and yet, as i reflect on the songs i like from multiple genres, a bit of a contradiction emerges. Pearl Jam's "mumble-grunge" is almost always incomprehensible to me, but the chords and rhythms still appeal. well, sometimes, anyway. maybe it's some weird byproduct of my a capella musical upbringing coupled with my hearing difficulties that has impacted exactly what blending of sounds i find pleasing to the ear. i'll close this one off before i write a paper. :)
Freehold DM wrote: Jeez. Here's hoping you get an appointment soon... well, i had the appointment. and i'm apparently one of the following: 1) a flat-out liar
my optometrist told me that she saw no physical evidence of anything i described. my eye still feels mildly irritated, but i've had no issues with dryness, and there doesn't appear to be a foreign body present. so, here i am, wondering if i imagined it, in total or in part, and whether or not i'm beginning to exhibit signs of the mental instabilities manifested in certain members of my family, on either side of the tree. considering the fact that i have historically demonstrated an excellent, and even surprising, degree of personal awareness where biological irregularities have emerged, i'm patently flummoxed. and, naturally, even more disturbed that i might be "going crazy" instead of merely "perpetually irate". bad enough to have contemplated the catastrophe of losing a measure of my sight, but this . . . . reckon i'll just say "f@+% it all, i'm bat-s~** crazy anyway" and carry on. nevertheless, . . . . not a good feeling.
yes, yes, we know you're a self-professed paladin of Civilization, but *must you* be so . . . so . . . "high-self-standards, lower-than-normal-expectations" all the time?? really??! joke aside, though, the fact that they *were* that exactingly thorough with the process simply points to exactly that sort of thing: high standards. enjoy your coffee!!
weird sidebar news:
after decades of piecemeal worldbuilding, adventure design, homebrew game development, and great times slinging dice and spell slots, it has happened:
the raison d'etre of my personal fantasy roleplaying homebrew world has finally, fully crystallized. it's not truly novel, in most ways, but the 'moment of clarity' has arrived. I understand what I've been muddling through since about the time I was 14 or so. the facets of the gemstone have been shaped, and a little more time and polishing will bring it all to life. i can look back at everything i've put together (what of it i remember) and see how it all fits into a complete whole -- from the humblest woodcutter in the forests of the Gladden Vale to the fallen legends who decided the fates of millions. i know that's all overblown and grandiose, but it just . . . . it just feels good to be in this moment. thanks for reading this. thanks for your input and feedback over the years. thank you for being you, FaWtLies -- you've helped me more than any of us know. just wanted to share
Spoiler:
bad policy generated for humanitarian reasons. it's unsurprising that it would become so frustrating.
it's been almost 30 years since i had my wisdom teeth removed, and i don't recall what was prescribed for the pain. there's a serious remove here, for me . . . . . . but the part that irks me the most in this thought experiment is: . . . being treated like an attempted criminal from the jump in every single interaction with the very people who make their living by providing the service you are enlisting. i'll stop now before i get even more inflammatory; besides, it's time for me to go to work. good night, FaWtLies.
i have just completed the first post-mole-hunting-spree "trench run" of the year. analysis: less Death Star, more Verdun 1916. NOTE: yes, it's terrible humor. there's no comparison. BACKGROUND: the dog i fostered from Aug - Dec of last year needed outdoor activity on a regular basis, so i let him play in the yard as long as he liked. he didn't hit his stride, so to speak, until October. the result? about 40% of a 1-acre lot has been terraformed into an aerial-view map of the mole and armadillo holes/tunnels created during the residence of my late grandfather, who left the gates open, always. i can only hope that Jed, *my* dog, who served as understudy to the aforementioned mole-hunter during that devastating two weeks, has "forgotten" those old lessons. i'll probably be two inches shorter by the end of mowing season.
Starship Troopers? Read it, if you haven't already. it was the cover art that sold me on it, WAY back in the day.
in completely irrelevant news, i am loving the current state of my homebrew playtest campaign. the last few sessions have all been very solid in terms of narrative, character development, and player engagement. we're just having a blast, and it's a good thing. DISCLAIMER: big honkin' wall-o'-text perhaps off-topic of off-topic, but y'all are the only people i talk with on the forums anymore, so . . . . for anyone interested:
my group was at five for a short time, but a bad breakup dropped us to four, and then the other player had a whole lotta real life come at him all at once, and he's been away for a time, but said last week he wants to come back as soon as he can. but even with just my three regular players, we've been moving things along.
i think the biggest step that i've made as a GM is to implement more of what is called "four-corner opposition" into the backdrop in which my players drive their characters. i'm getting better at having my enemies and NPCs make better, more believable decisions in the pursuit of their various motives, and to provide conflicting interests both within and without the party to keep things dynamic. i continue to pursue better stories, even as i find a way (or TRY) to reconstitute familiar mechanics into something a bit more accessible for newbies while still giving more experienced gamers the options they enjoy. the party consists of, effectively, a warpriest, a magus, and an undead hunter. they have saved a marshland village from the dual threat of a zombie uprising and an infestation of demon-bugs, journeyed to an insular society atop a desert plateau governed by a seemingly benevolent ancient blue dragon, purged a long-abandoned keep of a band of goblin marauders, offered to escort a very young brass dragon to a safe location away from said blue dragon, and done all that while escorting a trade caravan along a relatively new route through wild territory. most recently, though, the caravan ran afoul of the machinations of a hobgoblin warlock, and he sent his minions to destroy the caravan and PCs, to retrieve the magic tomes they took from one of his disciples. the caravan has been scattered to the winds, and the characters have decided to assault the warlock's mountain fortress in an act of "righteous vengeance", so to speak. we've reached the point where they have just breached the mystic gate that secures the warlock's inner sanctum, and so next week promises to supply a series of epic combats, and perhaps a few surprises, as well. since my system is an amalgamation of ICRPG and PF1 at its heart, one of the interesting mechanics i'm using is what i call the 'recovery die'. this die value allows for health to be recovered after a rest period, but it also indicates just how long a character has in which to be revived before dying if they drop to 0 health. in the course of the campaign, the magus has dropped to 0 health often, but has rolled a natural 20 on his 'recovery check' to stabilize no less than three times -- so he's occasionally been left for dead in the middle of combat and yet come back to consciousness with 1 HP, and picked right back up with the fight. this recurring event has attracted the attention of powerful extraplanar beings, and he is currently being accompanied by a 'lantern archon' conducting an investigation of the magus' possible "crimes against mortality". the aura of menace ability has led to some hilarious moments, especially since the archon is so uptight about being addressed by name, and responds negatively to blatant disrespect. the warpriest has learned that this hobgoblin faction have become followers of a deity of toil and oppression (his deity's mortal enemy), and he intends to crush their reign of terror and liberate their victims. i'm going to set the stage for him to have an honor duel with the priest, but to present him with a dilemma at the same time: keep to the duel, or aid his allies? it won't be about making the right choice, but about demonstrating what's more important to him as a follower of a god of chaos and war -- his battle-brothers? or his own glory? our vampire hunter's character arc is at a bit of a standstill -- his own personal quest is on the backburner due to geographic constraints. however, he's been playing as close to LG as anyone could ask, i think. the player is pretty paladin-y in his own life; he's doing the self-insert justice without making it cumbersome and awkward. - - - - - - - - - - i have finally gotten about 75% of the way through my first full iteration of the magic system. i've got a gamer friend that i don't get to see too often who is going to do some freelance R&D work for me to see how badly he can break the framework i have in place. if there are glaring issues, he'll find them; if there are subtle problems, he'll find those, too. i expect to be finished with the full beta test of the magic system by the middle of this year, at the latest. fun times. i LOVE getting to play fantasy ttrpgs. it helps make all the other nonsense more tolerable.
indeed -- as though Fatty Bolger sounded the Horn of Buckland ("Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!") because Gaffer Gamgee sneezed one morning. i can only say that i am delighted that i have completely ignored all email for the last four or five years, and have blocked nearly all notifications on my devices. i have all the madness i need in the workplace; home is the one place in the world where i both can and do tell EVERYONE ELSE to shut the f@#$ up.
NobodysHome wrote:
fair enough. i think the first two components i mentioned suffice, generally speaking. lol
i certainly hope that GothBard gets the good word today, NH! --------------------- spoilered for reflection and politically-adjacent: i watched V for Vendetta again for the first time in many months. though it contrasts with the original graphic novel in some striking ways, it is, frankly, one of my favorite films of all time. the premise is gripping, the dialogue is efficient, and the score . . . i absolutely love the music, even the snippets of the Golden Oldies and the great classics. its message is one of those that will always be relevant, i believe.
i'll not belabor the plot or the poignant moments, nor will i harp on the inflammatory components -- i'm going to proceed with the notion that those of you who read this know its content at least as well as i do, if not moreso. liberty is the antithesis of tyranny, whether that oppression originates from the left or the right. it's "somewhere out there" in that paradoxical middle, as my old college professor might say. i may be an irascible sort with relatively unpopular convictions in this part of the interwebz, but . . . . . . . i love y'all, FaWtLies. have a good day, people. make the best of it.
NobodysHome wrote:
it was painful to read your recounting of this intellectual disaster . . . . but i find myself laughing in the face of the despair this prompts. we're doomed.
Freehold DM wrote:
spoilered for wall-o-text: one of my old college instructors used to often quip "the greatest truths lie in paradox". while he may have been specifically referring to the difficulties of understanding various portions of the Judeo-Christian tradition(s) at those times, i supply that i can see the merit of his pithy comment within what NH posted. and i'm certainly not calling it for one side or the other, particularly here.
when you get right down to it, there aren't very many new stories to tell, in a way. the closest one can get, from my point of view, to "original" or "novel" narratives is by shuffling sundry dramatic structures together and aiming for variations of the classics. the other component of "newness" usually has very much to do with the quality of the 'window dressing' in the story. i think part of the reason why we so readily invest in stories is because we can recognize themes and ideas from within our own memories, and we can be challenged to expand our perspectives by finding where our familiarity ends and those new variations in structure or flavor are encountered. take, for instance, our two views of that old show Firefly. while i haven't watched/experienced the Outlaw Star (iirc, that's the name) that you declare as an earlier and better version of Joss Whedon's "hack job" (i do hope i'm not too far off the mark there, or none at all) seen in Firefly, based upon my recall of your earlier statements they're essentially the same tale, told in differing ways. one came before the other, and you saw the copy (or, at best, parallel) in the one that was late to the party. since i was late to the Firefly part of the show but it was my first encounter with that narrative structure, i enjoyed it and still hold it in fine regard; perhaps someday i'll experience Outlaw Star and decide which i prefer. i also think it's fair to say that there will always be some form of social commentary in any tale told. sometimes it's veiled or subdued in its presentation, and other times it's quite "on the nose" -- the bursts of inspiration writers gain for weaving a story have to come from somewhere, of course. and there isn't anything inherently bad about either means of presentation or treatment. sometimes it's disliked because of the message, other times because of the aforementioned 'window dressing', or any other host of reasons. a fad isn't bad because it's a fad; neither is it good just because it's popular at a given time. crafting a truly original tale is damned near impossible, i think. crafting a good story or telling a story well (two very different things) is easier, but definitely challenging. if you can tell a good story (or even a new story), and tell it well, . . . that's golden -- for the artist and the fans alike. i think NH's original quoted comment is an excellent summation of the complexity of storytelling, no matter how new or old, good or bad, graceless or sophisticated. i liked and faved it simply because of how deep a dive we (or one) can make in analyzing and reflecting upon its myriad iterations. that's all.
NobodysHome wrote: . . . stable of writers were uniformly awful, all coming from the, "Hey, this fad is popular right now! We need to put it into the show!" school of thought that was so execrably predominant . . . because originality was dead. . . . . there are libraries' worth of truth in that statement.
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