Steef Krafslayer's page

The original party dies with Zeke.

I sure hope Steef and Moose found a nice dwarven village to live out the rest of their lives in safety.

Don't you worry, Steef's having the time of his life being a nasty-ass hobo with his buddy Moose, who's very much living up to his name, at least size-wise. He actually turned out to be one hell of a deterrent to muggers, so now Steef actually has some money to his name. Not much, but enough to get him back home to his family, who was unpleasantly surprised to find out he was still alive and kicking. Happy endings for everyone!

Also RIP Azrin and Zeke you shall be missed.

Steef looks up at Azrin. "Yeah...dunno if I could've taken the shot either. Would've hit a little too close to home..." Steef's eyes momentarily glaze over, then he shakes himself out of it and stands up, pocketing the flask as he does so. "Zeke, you see anything else?" He looks back down at the dwarf for a moment. "I wonder if that jacket would fit...seems mighty nice."

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19

Which one do you want? Take your pick, I'll take the other one. And if nobody else objects, I'll take the ring of protection.

Steef sighs and closes the dwarf's eyes. "You know the rules, brother...you die, the next guy to find you gets the booze."

He takes the flask and pours out a little bit of it for his fellow fallen dwarf.

Guys why the hell is the 5 CHA dwarf being the party face step your game up

Steef looks around, making sure to stay far, FAR away from the nest.

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19

"Well, see here's the thing. We're kind of being detectives and stuff and we're trying to find evidence that this guy didn't actually murder a bunch of people. Think you could just let us poke around for a while? I really don' want to have to hurt you."

Diplomacy: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (20) - 3 = 17

"Hmm...ok, ma'am, I realize you've got some little ones, and I'd just like to say...I'm a dwarf, not a human. I'm waaaaaay stringier and honestly, probably taste more like alcohol than anything even resembling meat at this point in my life."

Init: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

"Damn right, Padre. Anything you wanna mention about where I should be shooting? Or what it is?"

Steef eyes Bulldozer suspiciously. "Come on, Azrin. Zeke'll go with the caveman."

"Ah didn't see no sign sayin' this was yer swamp, ol' timer. Besides, what're ye doin' in MAH swamp?!"

"Yeah, me too. Let's figure this out."

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (1) + 9 = 10

Steef tries to get a read on the Beast.

"Heh. I like this guy. Any idea who could've been doing this, then? Anything at all?"

Steef mutters something unintelligible under his breath, saying something about "Please not another one I don't even know who his mother could be...besides that one chick back in '89".

"What's your name, son? Because I'm sure it's not the Beast."

"That is...uncanny, you look exactly like my brother-in-law. You alright, mate? Seems like you're looking a bit *ahem* beat up..."

"Nope. It's not gonna work like this, buddy. All day today we've had people dancing around this, nobody around here's giving us a straight answer. Now, I know you need us more than we need you-so either you tell us what we're dealing with here, or we walk. And those guards out there? Maybe they hear us talking about how you don't think you can handle this case. Talk."

Intimidate: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (15) - 3 = 12

"Okay, just one question...who exactly IS the Beast? Like, that can't be his name, right? First name The, last name Beast? Sounds like that crappy music all the bards are playing these days."

"I'm Steef. We were told we'd get money if we helped out with this case. Something about an animal, or a beast, I wasn't really paying much attention."

Steef marches up to the wig man.

"Oi, Gustav. Don't worry, everything's going to be alright. We're here to help."

"Huh. I remember going to a festival before that was similar to that."

Steef looks around for some sort of weapons shop where he can hopefully get his bow upgraded, or replaced if need be.

"Sounds like you have a great opinion of him. Anything about him we should know before talking to him?"

"I'd be happy to help. I've been in the clink enough times to know how bad it is if you ain't supposed to be there. Where should I start looking for clues?"

Steef, who had been daydreaming, snaps back to reality. "Sorry, did you say sausage effigy? Because where I'm from, we had a different name for it...and you didn't see men with them very often, if you know what I mean."

Steef goes with him.

No way man everyone knows that evil people have beards

Diplomacy: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (14) - 3 = 11
Sense Motive: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (6) + 9 = 15

"We're working on it at the moment, ma'am. We've had a...few setbacks lately. We've uncovered some things about the circumstances of Lorrimor's death, and lost a few of our own in the process."

"We got a weird book from a dead friend of ours. It's locked. I couldn't get the lock open. Don't think it's my fault though, I was taught by a dinosaur. Like literally, a dinosaur. Not really our place to do anything with it though, we have to deliver it somewhere."

I read through the first few pages, I don't think we actually ever opened the lock. Let me know if I missed something.

"I say we get rid of this creepy-ass book first, the sooner it's gone the better."

If nobody else wants it, I'll take the dagger.

"What a stroke of luck-we were going to Lepidstadt. We'd be happy to join you."

Steef, amazed that Azrin hit the thing before he did, resolves to hit it over twice as hard as the cleric did.

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Confirm?: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 15
Damage: 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

G@$$$&n it I hate blinkers...

Steef narrows his eyes and clears his mind, waiting for the spider to come back.

Perfect Strike + Deadly Aim

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13
Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Damage: 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

Oh you have got to be KIDDING ME.

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11
Damage: 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

Steef draws his bow and moves a bit further into the clearing.

Survival: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18

"Mate, there's tracks going into the brush like...right next to you. Literally, they're right there. These are so fresh, it looks like she made them while you were talking to us."

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22

"Say no more, lad-we just had one humdinger of a time in a positively hostile place to travelers. We've got some idea of how it feels to lose one of your own. We'll find your missing girl. Let's go, men-greyback, now's your time to prove yourself."

He begins trudging off before realizing he has no idea where to go. "Say...which direction did you say you lost her?"

Did...did you just offer to have us buy your contract? Because we must be rich and prosperous travelers, right?"

Steef gestures down at his grubby tunic.

"Look...mebbe I was a bit hard on ye. I know how it can be, gettin' kicked out, away from what you know. Especially for a young lad like yourself. You said you killed a man-chances are that means another greyskin, so cheers for that. Tell ya what-we don't have much money to pay you, but it seems like trouble finds this group of ours pretty much all the time. Chances are we're bound to get lucky and strike it rich soon enough...stick with us, leave me alone as much as you can, and don't kill or maim any of us, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't get a cut of whatever we find."

Steef lowers his bow.

"There's yer offer. Take it or leave it. I'm Steef, the mountain over there is Ezekiel, the padre's Azrin, and the furball's Moose."

Steef's voice, and the point of his arrow, quiver slightly.

"You don't understand, Zeke. That's a Duergar. If you knew...how many people I've buried because of those grey sons of...oh, 'Toria..."

He unnocks his arrow and sits down, burying his face in his hands. "It's been a long few centuries, lad. If you had any idea...well, I've seen how you get sometimes. He'd just be a red stain by now if you only knew..."

Curse you one-hour post edit limit

Steef squints a bit, looking at the 'dwarf'.

"Oh my...is that...oh good god."

Drawing his bow, he nocks an arrow and points it in the general direction of the newcomer.

"That's close enough, greyskin. What're you doing up here on the surface? Didn't think your kind came up here much, besides for the odd baby-eating rampage...there any more of you around here?"

We brought the dog with us, right? And enough food for him too? Also his favorite stuffed monkey?"

Where did we get all that money?

"You know...gotten away. He probably would've killed you too...but if you got away you could've come back with more help."

Steef gingerly claps Ezekiel on the shoulder. "Thanks. You could've booked it, gotten yourself out of there. Glad you didn't."

Fingering the badge on his chest, he sighs and continues. "Suppose you're right, Az. Let's give the lady her badge back..."

He begins trudging up the stairs. Guess it had to happen...I get something nice in my life and it has to get taken away.

"Owwww...did we win?"

Steef sways on his feet momentarily, then grabs the ghost touch arrows from his bag and sends them at the ghost.

"GO TO HELL, AND TELL OL' ASMO I SAID HI!"

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28
Confirm?: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23
Damage: 3d8 + 15 ⇒ (4, 6, 5) + 15 = 30

"Oh my goodness...well, it's been fun, guys. If any of y'all make it out, remember to feed my dog, will ya?"

Steef grabs his two undead bane arrows and sends them screaming at the Splatter Man.

Attack: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27
Damage: 1d8 + 7 + 2d6 ⇒ (3) + 7 + (2, 4) = 16

Attack: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 10 = 17
Damage: 1d8 + 7 + 2d6 ⇒ (1) + 7 + (2, 1) = 11

Crap.

"My head! It's in my head! Kill the letters!"

Steef punches the S.

Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22
Damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

WEEEEEEEEEEEE ARROWS EVERYWHERE WEEEEEEEEE

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13

Steef backs up a tad to get out of swinging range of the Lopper, and fires at him again with his magic arrows.

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

Attack: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 25
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

Steef shoots him with his +1 arrows.

Attack: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14
Damage: 1d8 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Attack: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17
Damage: 1d8 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7