Smashtag's page

update later today! Stay tuned. :)

You can hear the Chamberlain yelling outside of the foyer.

"What kind of stable boys are you? How did that donkey make it all the way from the stables to the foyer of the Venture-Captain's office? Well, it's too late now, he found his master, but you'd better not let another animal just come wandering into the Grand Lodge or you'll be cleaning ship holds down at the docks!"

I will get the initial gameplay post up tomorrow or the day after.

Once everyone gets a chance to get in a few posts in gameplay I will force story upon you.

Also, I am super excited and very much looking forward to this!

I don't post in FAWTL, but if I did, it would look something like this:

[flashback]Two years ago:

Smashtag's company: "Hey Smashtag, you're an awesome employee. We want you to go run our satellite store in a different city."

Smashtag: "Super cool! I'ma make it shine! One concern though. The store operations server is in a closet. Literally, a closet."

Company: "Don't worry about it." [/flashback]

Fast forward to last Wednesday:

Smashtag: "Doo-dee-doo, going to work, openin' mah store, gonna sell some stuff and make lots o money! Oh hey, 'database connection lost'. Well, lemme go reboot the server!"

Server: "BBBBLLLLEEEEAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH HHHHOOOOOTTTT!!!!" *poops its bed and dies*

Smashtag: "Oh crap! Well, good thing we were backing up all the data to this OTHER hard drive!"

OTHER Hard Drive: "Tee-hee! I'm blank!"

Smashtag: "Oh crap! Well, good thing we can re-mount the platters and hopefully recover my database from them!"

Ruined Hard Drive: "I'm more warped than Paizo's customer service department!" Seriously, this thing overheated so bad that the entire case had about a 5-degree angle.

Smashtag: *mikedrop, peaceout*

DSXMachina wrote:

Kajehase wrote:

Treppa wrote:
Nekkid cosplay? What's the point?
Must be a Heinlein character.
Rofl. Briiliant

Late Heinlein only. In early books, he was more calm and kid friendly.

And on another note: I take a weeks vacation and come back to more tham 2500 posts?? No way in hell I'm reading all that.

Hey, I don't even post in FAWTL and I still read the whole thread. Man up!

Persona:
For I don't know how many cycles now, I've been walkin' the streets of the frags. Always seems like it's night; always seems like it's rainin'. A program can't operate like that without gettin' a little rough around the edges. Seems like I never did nothin' but track down bugged code tryin' to hide out from Master Control, maybe a small trojan here or there.
I guess I got a little rough at times, maybe a few unnecessary deletions here or there. At least, that's what Control said when it retired me for some new diags.
Then there was l.exe. God, I loved that dame. She'd tag along to the frags with me sometimes; think she liked the danger, the bad programs runnin' around. 'Course, now that I'm a nobody, she's taken up with one of those new diags. Can't blame her. She likes her men tough, and I'm old, broke down.
Now I hear about this Core Wars. Can't say I care too much about who wins or loses, but it might be a good way to show Control I ain't so useless, so outdated. Control, and l.exe.
Origin:
One of the guys over at the software engineering team musta had a sense of humor and a thing for old movies, making a diag act like a Humphrey Bogart detective in some old black-and-white. Seein' as too much personality's what made me self-aware, guess I should thank him. Me, I just wish he'd coded me prettier.
Iconography:
Yeah, take a good look. I got the stubble you could light a match on, goin' a bit grey these cycles. Matching duster and fedora. I ain't too big, am I? Go ahead, think I'm too old and slow to catch ya. Why should you be scared of me? Could be because I got a Colt in a shoulder rig and you've spent so much time sizing me up that it's in my hand now and pointed right at ya. Now come along nicely. Make a fuss and I'll plug ya.

As the hour is about to close, Gigus nods one final time to Rashida Massri and Cassandra DuSollier.

"My friends, I think it is time we found out what I am. I do not wish to be at my fellow Baron's mercy. If I am to die, it will be by my hand, not his."

He stands and looks around at the assembled aristocrats.

"My lords, my ladies, I do not know if you are correct in accusing me of being an assassin, but I believe I am done playing Von Ryuko's games, and it is high time we all knew the truth."

The zombie lord's hands slowly move up to his mask as he turns to stare at the balcony.

"Von Ryuko, I forsake any claims to your 'prizes'. This mask comes off NOW."

Steeling himself, his fingers grip the mask, and it clicks mechanically as he pulls the mask away.

He turns slowly, the mask barely held by limp fingers, to show everyone the blue ocular lenses, the cables leading from them into empty eye sockets, the mark of the Assassins carved deep into his forehead.

His fingers tremblingly feel around the inside of the metallic mask, touching the cords, the eye sockets, and rising to his wasted forehead. When he encounters the mark, he flinches.

"Gods, I am no zombie... I'm not alive, I was never alive... I'm a construct..."

He slaps the mask back on and whirls, optics blazing, towards Von Ryuko.

"The first thing I remember, I TRULY remember, is arriving here! You custom-built me for this party, didn't you?! Everything I know applies to someone at this party! Dancing for Cassie, snakes and mythology for Rashida, insects and robots for Taraz, strategy for Wowbagger, natural history for Ritter... what happened, 'Baron', were there too few assassins for your amusement?"

He turns back to Rashida and Cassie.

"All the clues were there... the name, the stitching, the tattered clothing... the oddbod look. I am the new 'modern Prometheus' to Von Ryuko's Dr. Frankenstein!"

He hangs his head, his voice growing softer.

"You had to give me emotions, didn't you, Baron? The foolery wouldn't be complete if I didn't have them; what you didn't count on, though, was me actually coming to like these people: Cassandra DuSollier's carefree spirit, Rashida Massri's beautiful grace, Taraz' wit and hidden honor, Professor Devries' sacrifice and nobility."

"That was what became the problem, wasn't it? I didn't go insane; I glitched, fighting against the kill commands programmed into me!"

He steps further away from Massri and DuSollier, his hand going once again to his mask.

"I am done playing your games, Von Ryuko. I am no Assassin! You will not control my actions any longer."

He looks one last time, longingly, at his friends, before the great fist tightens around the mask.

Suddenly, he gives a mighty yank, and the mask rips free, ocular cables trailing, pops and snaps from within his skull, pieces of circuit boards breaking free from the empty eye sockets. Smoke begins to pour from the sockets, his whole body convulses, and his hand clenches and shatters the mask, blue lenses flying.

He falls, 'lifelessly', to the floor.