Rone Barton's page

You know. I've been thinking. A lot. Dreams of melancholic broccolinalia and parsnipsnythetics as well as televised water polo sideboobage.

What if there was a gonzo edition of AA from GenCon? I want to do something that makes Hunter S. Thompson smile like a Chupacabra after ten cups of coffee and a pack and a half of premium smokes ad Darya Klishina to long jump me equestrian style.

I need more fans. And adulation.

Ego ganging is serious business.

Best part? If ever people ever have reason to Google me, it is your quotes they will find first. ;)

What can I say, I'm a fame monster. Fame me, baby. Daddy needs a new pair of pleathers.

Will I never live those black PVC pants down? Never?

Now if the children were eaten, the problem would cease.

But I wouldn't know of such things; I'm a vegetarian.

See I wasn't sure if you were me or not until you used that semicolon. Although your usage was accurate, what you could not have known was that I was roughed up by a gang of greatly feared punctuation when I was eight, and a brutish semicolon led them. The resulting scuffle left a shard of ¶ planted deep in my eye to this very day. Surgeons advised best to leave it. That's how I got my name The Pilcrow Peeper.

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Howdy, Vaughan! Can't wait to get hold of your module! :D

I may have to devalue said module ... until you prove your fan loyalty to me. What will it take for me to confer mercy? Exalt me.

Do you demand burnt offerings, blood sacrifice, or after sex breakfast, dark universe me?

Rone Barton wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

The Jade wrote:

I never did write that novel, but no matter... the LA times reported the next day, "Rone Barton is a Real Page Turner!"

I need to get my book out before Boomer picks up an official publisher. It'll cut into my fanservicing.

Absolutely, DoppleRoner. Boomer said all fanservicing are belong to us. That's just so typically arrogant of him. All fanservicing are belong to me! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

As long as I get an awomen!

When do you ever not get all the dopplegroupies? Come on.

The Jade wrote:

I never did write that novel, but no matter... the LA times reported the next day, "Rone Barton is a Real Page Turner!"

I need to get my book out before Boomer picks up an official publisher. It'll cut into my fanservicing.

Absolutely, DoppleRoner. Boomer said all fanservicing are belong to us. That's just so typically arrogant of him. All fanservicing are belong to me! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

The Jade wrote:

Davi The Eccentric wrote:

The Jade wrote:

taig wrote:

To be fair, Moorluck originated the greeting. Inadvertently.

My greatest FaWTL achievement was originating BttH.

What's that one stand for again?

Boobies to the Head. Of course, we're all talking about the water fowl and not the part of the female anatomy. Talking about the latter simply isn't proper, you see.

Thanks, Davi.

How could I forget that?

I'm embarrassed to have the same name as you.

I'm embarassed for you. I eill never let you down like this again.

taig wrote:

I hope Ed likes working with your replacement!

Being so self-absorbed with EVE Online, I've been thinking about giving Mallonhead a chance to come to the big time. He's got the looks, he's got the chops, and he's a sex-ay brochacho.

As if that isn't something Ed's actually brought up for realz. Mallon's going to leave his footprint in the world's bloodied mug, believe it.

You are a rather omniscient doppleganger, aren't you?

The Jade wrote:

The last two times I climbed the ladder to the roof, I almost kicked it out from under me.

Today I head up to seal around the chimney. If you don't hear from me, know that I loved you all and that I died falling off a roof.

I can see my stone now:

Here Lies Rone Barton

Right Where He Fell,

More Or Less

Fortunately, there's more where that came from. I'm like a fungus.

Carry on in my stead, myco-pilot.

Anyone notice Charlie escaped without getting banned? That's his military training in effect there. How I admire... BAN! BAN BAN BAN! Banned for being wily.

Ulgilanoth banned for being vague!

My work here is done!

Davi The Eccentric wrote:

Beautiful. Like watching Dorian Gray fist fight his own portrait.

Excellent observation.

Don't mention anything by Oscar Wilde around Gangy. Makes him think of Oscar Meyer.

Rone Barton wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

The Jade wrote:

Moff Rimmer wrote:

The Jade wrote:

... that probably ushered me into my present vegetarian status (That and Planet of the Apes... long story).

Coming from you, that's a story I'd love to hear.

I shall endeavor to give it the proper phrasing and relate it, good sir.

We were never to discuss The Planet of the Apes in any extant form. You promised.

Come now. Surely your scars both psychic and colonic have sunk beneath the skin by now, dear Gangy? I know it was hard for you to be tossed around by those engorged gorillas like Samsonite luggage slathered in liquid viagra, but surely the time has come to heal and move on.

If there was a healing process to move on from, we'd be omnivorous again. But no, the silverback had other ideas. Terrible ideas. I get choked up just dwelling on it.

But though we both became vegetarians after that tragic day at the zoo exhibit... you because of... well... and me to show solidarity with your choice... I never understood what could have happened in there that made you so despise sausages. It's just an irrationa-- oh... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Nevermind.

The Jade wrote:

Moff Rimmer wrote:

The Jade wrote:

... that probably ushered me into my present vegetarian status (That and Planet of the Apes... long story).

Coming from you, that's a story I'd love to hear.

I shall endeavor to give it the proper phrasing and relate it, good sir.

We were never to discuss The Planet of the Apes in any extant form. You promised.

Come now. Surely your scars both psychic and colonic have sunk beneath the skin by now, dear Gangy? I know it was hard for you to be tossed around by those engorged gorillas like Samsonite luggage slathered in liquid viagra, but surely the time has come to heal and move on.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

houstonderek wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

*I* care!

Aren't you a metal/industrial/goth band from Finland?

It's like a pair of eyes. You're looking at the umlaut, and it's looking at you.

Lemmy Kilmister told me if I rocked the umlaut that my fan servicing would expand exponentially. If you got moles like that cat and get multiple swings at bat, you can't pass up sage advice.

I keep thinking my alter grEGgO here is suggesting something naughty, but what if by fan servicing, he just means coming in to fix a fan's motor? I'm sure that's it.

Rone Barton wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

Rone Barton wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

Twin Agitate Dragons wrote:

I feel your pain. These people just don't respect raw unbridled talent.

Tell me about it. In the meantime, check out my Venture game at Gen Con if you're going. Fawn me with fan service. Lots of fan service.

Once again this doppleganger seems infatuated with the idea of getting me dopplegang-banged in the mouth at Gen Con. It comes across as a strange goal, but I don't question his genius.

I put the Venture in adventure at Gen Con.

Consider that stolen. ;)

I claim all rights and privileges as Executive Producer, as well as the fan servicing that comes with it.

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.

Well I welcome you to all the fleshly delights that assuredly come with RPG podcasting.

BTW, hot line... nothing ventured nothing gained. You're good at that, man.

Rone Barton wrote:

Röne Bartön wrote:

Twin Agitate Dragons wrote:

I feel your pain. These people just don't respect raw unbridled talent.

Tell me about it. In the meantime, check out my Venture game at Gen Con if you're going. Fawn me with fan service. Lots of fan service.

Once again this doppleganger seems infatuated with the idea of getting me dopplegang-banged in the mouth at Gen Con. It comes across as a strange goal, but I don't question his genius.

I put the Venture in adventure at Gen Con.

Consider that stolen. ;)

Twin Agitate Dragons wrote:

I feel your pain. These people just don't respect raw unbridled talent.

Tell me about it. In the meantime, check out my Venture game at Gen Con if you're going. Fawn me with fan service. Lots of fan service.

Once again this doppleganger seems infatuated with the idea of getting me dopplegang-banged in the mouth at Gen Con. It comes across as a strange goal, but I don't question his genius.

Thank you, thank you all my fans! Look me up in Indy in August for one-on-everyone fan servicing. My favorite color is periwinkle.

Are you a doppleganger or a pod person? I keep forgetting what spec fic genre I awoke in.

Röne Bartön wrote:

They love me in French Lick, Indiana. Larry Bird can kiss my very white ass. Right where my new lipstick tattoo is located. On the left.

And as for Indianapolis? Not only will I be there in August, I will own that city. It'll be fan service twenty four seven. Bring your shine boxes, people! The Rone abides.

Hey!

I gno Enor Notrab and you,
you no Enor Notrab.

Thank you for your good sense, Spanks. It takes a discerning eye to tell the real me from some guy offering oral favors to listeners. Does that sound like something I'd ever do? Does it?

Rone Barton wrote:

Kaidan Booster wrote:

Did I say bends? It was all a ruse for his lightning-ass strike!

Lightning Ass Strike. You've heard of it, I see. Yeah, I don't really like to talk about my early days as an actor in Triple X kung-fu films, so let's go easy on googling my name for a while, 'kay?

That snuff film? Yeah, never a good idea.

No one knew my up down up down thrust combo would be so legendary. It was a dark day on that set in Van Nuys, lemme tell ya.

Apparently I confused my war cries. It's "Ha-dooooooken!", not "Ho-broooooken!"

Did I say bends? It was all a ruse for his lightning-ass strike!

Lightning Ass Strike. You've heard of it, I see. Yeah, I don't really like to talk about my early days as an actor in Triple X kung-fu films, so let's go easy on googling my name for a while, 'kay?

has umlauts

When did my name turn into that of an 80's punk metal band?

The Jade wrote:

We have a lot of birthdays to make up, don't we boy?

Speaking of make-up, do my lips look good in rouge?

They'd look better planted firmly upon my ass.

Rone Barton wrote:

And here I chose this awful avatar for my own name for some reason.

Edit: Oh yes, I was pretending to be on a diet.

Don't be jealous. I obviously got you outclassed in sex appeal and hair.

Consider me bested

Dude, are you trying to insult me? Higher. HIGHER!

And here I chose this awful avatar for my own name for some reason.

Edit: Oh yes, I was pretending to be on a diet.

Hey, thanks guys! I've been on a strict diet and I lost 90% of my body weight (and all my organs). Now if I can only lose 90% more I can be a demilich!