Goblin Squad Member. Organized Play Member. 510 posts (2,475 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. 2 wishlists. 4 Organized Play characters. 13 aliases.
Howdy folks. It has been a minute. Maybe three. Ok ok ok really 3yrs since I last posted and quite frankly even longer since I last played.
I see Cindy is living the dream. Yay! You go girl! I am on a similar path.
Some changes, fulltime MtF and actively transitioning. I am in a better spot than I have been in a long long time.
[Blows dust off dicebag]
Anything new happen while I was gone?
Are gnomes still at the #1 spot of all-time greatest character race to play?
Been a while since I last posted.
Lots of fun/happy/stressful/paradigm shifting stuff happening in my life, for the most part, uphill yet productive.
To stay on topic of this forum: So I attend on a semi-regular basis (starting back 2006ish), until recently, a weekly TransSupport mtg. It was crucial to my self-realization and confidence. It remains an inclusive positive get-together for MtF, FtM and Genderfluid. Everyone there is at different stages in transitioning, which is rather nice seeing the mentoring and sharing of lessons learned, references etc.
(Foreshadowing: can ya hear the but?)
But, we had a couple of crossdressers show up (still under Trans umbrella in my book) and while welcomed could not help but notice a subtle disapproval. Could not understand why as we all started somewhere. That is when I noticed a subtle shift, the pressure across the board to seek out and start HRT with end goal of SRS.
So I started my process, not quite a good match, legit health concerns of my own plus my relationship with fiance (fully disclosed and supportive). She does have certain expectations and HRT would impact those expectations and of course concerns regarding my safety and potential employablity( I currently keep work and social very separate) Put it all on backburner, will revisit at my discretion.
SO in the meantime, dealing with inner turmoil, I know my transmtg will inquire into my HRT status in a nice polite cheerleader way. Not gonna deflect, but would like to squash the expectation that SRS and fulltime is not the endgoal of all who attend.
I regularly attend a transsupport group. It was nice, with the usual suspects and a couple of newcomers. Every stage of transition represented on both MtF and FtM. Amazing what HRT can do regardless of starting age. Anyhoos...
So after the meeting, one of the girls and I (both MtF), spontaneously want out afterwards for drinks to touch upon subject matter verboten within the group (hotbutton topics like politics and/or religion etc which tend to derail and override the message of support). Needless to say, my gender rebel co-conspirator was on fire as I see her becoming more active as she transitions. While she blends easily and even passes, when she is beside me it aint possible. Regardless, going out amongst the muggles, we weren't spared more than a second glance during the dinner/happy hour crush.
Finished training to be an official volunteer at my FL(LGBT)Center. Waiting for background check to clear. Another step out as well as stepping up to be a facilitator/speaker in the public eye. I just wish these resources and support were there way back when I was a child/teenager.
Thank you for all your myriad opinions, views and experiences. I, we are, no longer am alone. Never thought I'd be here much less this far along. Being part of the solution feels good.
I got an unexpected request last night. I was speaking to my daughter who is majoring in Psychology (soon to Grad! Woohoo!). She is putting together a speaker panel for the Freshman classes. She asked if I'd be willing to be part of it (I am the first and default T she knows personally). Not sure if the panel will be covering all LGBT or pulling from a spectrum of T, still in drafting stage. I am honored, pleased and anxious. I used to lecture and train in the Military but for slightly different subject. So stagefright is not the issue. I am anxious regarding whether I am worthy enough of representing us.
So started doing my homework regarding LGBT FAQ as well as lessons learned on what not to do/say. As this is a freshmen class(es), I do not need in-depth transition med/policy/politics. It is more of putting a face to LGBT and humanizing my experiences with a willingness to answer or address awkward questions.
Reached out to my local Trans and LGBT resources but I wanted to ask the Paizo LGBT collective for their input. Putting my speaking points together and will refine accordingly both for clear concise communication and time. I have about three months to get my act together.
Excited. Another way to out myself and step proudly. My daughter is so supportive too. Love her.
622: Journal
This much abused compact paper maroon hardcover Journal has the name DarDar scratched into it. It is pocket sized with the binding is broken barely held together from much use. The journal lies forgotten shimming one of the tables in the library.
Should someone peruse it they will find in neat Dwarven shorthand, the drawings and notes of Dar, an Architect journeyman. Dar writes of his ambitions, professional trade notes, and current projects. Some projects take up many pages, others barely a sentence acting more as timekeeping prompts. Professionally speaking nothing is incriminating or gossipy, however, there is sensitive structural details here that some clients would prefer not exist.
Dar is a habitual note taker, and there are indications that multiple journals exist throughout his career, as this is already a decade into his journeyman license, dated just inside the cover.
Dar is alive although likely living his elder years in a clanhome of his own creation. He might appreciate the return of his youthful records.
98. Geet, Gnome of indeterminate yet elder age, unusually non-descript clothing for a gnome which ironically stands out from the garish carriage. Occasionally tells tales of her ol’pa and ma from back in the day, former adventures and their life rom centuries ago.. Her kids gone and grown leaving her with idle time and here she is scraping by delivering packages and selling odds and ends as market allows. She travels with other caravans or with troop movements for protection if at all possible.
“Geet’s Merchant and Delivery Service”, this is what her two-horse drawn carriage proclaims. The box carriage, while aged, is well-maintained, and the driver space looks downright comfortable with a protective overhang. The carriage as a whole radiates magic if detected for, permanent Animate Object and Alarm. The horses are for mundane transportation but not needed in an emergency. Doors in back are locked (functional but for show only and relock as soon as picked/knocked open.). Access is via a small panel behind driver.
Officially she sells all sorts of stuff. Sometimes the occasional magic if she can get on the cheap for healthy profit. Delivers packages for a nominal fee, no questions asked rate higher prices. These are all in carriage and subject to inspection/confiscation. For her real customers, the interior of floor moves aside to create opening with a portable hole flush between the undercarriage and decking. Geet is a smuggler, a very successful one. She actually started out as a simple courier (with an inherited portable hole) and has built her clientele through extreme vetting accordingly. She is an old rogue but not a dumb one. Her skills and feats reflect non-adversarial discrete approach to wealth management.
Went to see a counselor for some issues I was dealing with. Got them resolved or perhaps managed is a better term. Yay me. But we touched upon my gender identity as part of the solution, and she was right. She encouraged and "assigned me homework" to practice being visible and confident. So I have stepped out with support, expressed myself a little more openly. I normally keep my alter ego distinct and limited to certain venues away from the homefront for reasons I am sure all of you can relate.
Discussed it with my high school daughter to alert her for potential pushback from friend's parents. I was already treating it as an open secret since my divorce outing. Gradually being more visible, not adhering to a gender that I was born with. Her friends know, have seen me and accept but now parents are starting to note visible signs of gender non-compliance. Nothing said, double-takes sure. More color in wardrobe, polish on nails and andro but pretty earrings, I am the only male without hair on legs etc Highschool functions, College classes, local chores. No impact as yet. Assumptions are made, I am a LGBT member but which kind? Who will inquire first? The world continues to turn.
Not sure about presenting Femme or androfemme on campus yet. Work is a no go, so this remains separated. Keeping an eye out for jobs where this is not an issue.
And slowly it is Depression that recedes into the closet, not me. Guess my therapist knows her stuff.
UGH. Was going to head to Ferndale Pride in all my finery, but called into work. Sadly the type of work which requires a suit and tie due to visibility. Quite the opposite end of the gendered clothing spectrum.
And yeah, CG stations are rarely put in "good" locations. One of "nicer" locations that comes to mind: there was a CG auxilarist (volunteer civilian USCG groupie) that owned a house adjacent to/nearby a station. He rented it out to the crew so they could 1) afford to live nearby, especially for those without cars 2) not worry about parking/commuting (extremely developed tourist area) for those that did have have cars, 3) trustworthy/accountable renters 4) Owner got his in-depth Coastie experience.
Okay...maybe people here can help me with my social anxiety I am having over the LGBT minger/mixer. I would have to go presenting as a guy...but calling myself a Trans woman. I feel...like people might not believe me...or even get hostile. I hope I will be able to present as woman for it...but right now that will be a long shot.
Ahhhhh I remember my first... arrived as a male, changed out, got so nonchalant about it I didn't change back (public parking mall, long commute and walking through neighborhood to my door) until home. I was supercharged that evening and no way was she going back in the closet.
I am willing to bet that there is a space available for quick change artists who remain stealth or are uncomfortable "traveling while trans". Ask the organizers if there will be a designated room of sorts.
On a related note, those same organizers are your best bet to line up "Big Sister mentoring", let them know your situ and need for a trans starter kit. So many of us have clothes that are beautiful yet no longer fit/style or have sentimental value cluttering our closets. I hate throwing away good stuff but more than willing to donate or charge minimal fee to a needy soul.
So even if you show up not dressed for event, you might end up in a mismatched skirt/blouse and tennis shoes looking like a fashionista trainwreck. But you'll be comfortable and a whole lotta sisters hooking you up with cast-offs.
I have been there. A lot of us have. You are in good company.
In regards to the Corsetry, I recommend outreaching to a professional corset maker/shop. Once again, you get what you pay for. VS (Victoria Secret) and other main stream offers are for the bedroom and only worn long enough to be stripped off... But will not shape your body per se not hold up to extended wear. The one I have worked with does so out of her house (converted room to a frick'n tailor/wedding/RenFaire/exotic wear business. Wow! So many things I wanted to try) and a large part of her clientele are in the fetish scene in some degree or another. She makes a decent living if that tells you anything, with a not-insignificant male customer base.
If you want to experience the lingerie effect, anything will do. Want to shape-train or daywear, you really really need to see a professional to schedule a fitting and buy a quality corset that will hold up.
Check out your local offerings.
Huh, after so many years, I guess I do have something more than an opinion to contribute to this thread.
This is a wide-ranging and subjective issue.
Having done both mail order and brick&mortar places, I strongly favor the latter. But this is not about me.
1) Learn from other folk who have already walked that path, Google Transgender/crossdressers + wigs. Many blogs/websites describing lessons learned with pros&cons. Once you are getting a foundation of basic terminology, things to consider and obvious pitfalls to avoid,
2) Draw up a list of wig stores nearby and some a little further if you desire a bit more privacy from hometown. Phone calls are anonymous. Call them with a simple list of questions garnered from #1. Get a feel for how they treat you as a customer. Do they sound competent? Are they making you comfortable in what is (to you) an awkward situation?
2.5) Some questions: Will you be going DRAB or presenting as female? Will they allow you to change there? Trying on female-styled wigs presenting as female feels more authentic than male. YMMV
3) Bring a trusted friend whose sole purpose is to be an objective consumer on your behalf, keep you grounded and look for your best interest. I'd recommend that one supportive girl who offered a coming-out party for you. This is a big step and you might be overwhelmed. In fact, I would start a betting pool if I could.
4) Leave your purse in your car. The first visit is an experience. Enjoy it. Go without a sense of obligation to buy or succumbing to sales pitch.
5) Feeling educated? Go back to step 1. Stuff should be making better sense now and you can adjust your process accordingly.
6) When you do return or if you go online: Aim for quality, you will not regret the money spent; whereas buying cheap will only undermine your efforts to blend in and self-confidence. It will set you back emotionally and willingness to go out. You'll end up dropping more bucks on another wig anyway. Ask me how I know...
Good Luck
Edit: PS buy a styrofoam head for proper storage of wig. Pain in the ass to restyle if it gets put away wrong.
On a related subject...
I have a few friends on facebook that believe and/or perpetuate the lies, myths and rumors regarding LGBT (and a few other divisive) subjects. IRL, we agree and disagree on a variety of subjects and they are, for the most part, polite folk.
On Facebook, their colors clearly run deeper.
Yet with the exception of a few trolling firebrands (haters gonna hate), I have kept them friended. While it is like pissing against the wind, I have learned to avoid the trolling and not responded with like accusations and name calling to dispute their hypercritical positions. I acknowledge the few points they have and focus on refuting and/or refining the argument they posit. I post different views with citations. My goal: refuse to allow their page be a huge echo chamber. Since it is their page, I pick my battles on subject matter I can easily dispute with citations.
It is an exercise running through the list of argument fallacies. Constantly. However, since I have started this, the echo chambers are a wee bit less inflammatory. I know I have not changed any minds, but their feeds have toned down. I try to humanize these issues.
But damn. Haven't they ever heard of moderation? Life is not a zero-sum game. Also please allow me this indulgence: They are frigg'n hateful paranoid idiots!
So a while back I came out to my brother. I knew he'd have my back but it needed to be done on my terms as my now ex-wife was outing me.
He replied beautifully. He also finally admitted there was always something off that he just could not figure out about me for the last 4 decades or so. He made assumptions and put it aside. My coming out allowed him to finally connect all the dots for the "Ahaa!" moment. Then he told me of his prior guesses in statistical order coming close but missing. Anyway, non-issue. Pretty cool huh?
So why am I posting?
Today, he starts off texting me as his "Brister".
Brister.
As our convo continued, it devolved into ritualistic bravado and derogatory commentary regarding the other's lack of masculinity. Although he was obviously and always has been the better looking brother, he was willing to cede the title for better looking sister without contest. Which took on added meaning with my transness since the so-called zingers really weren't hurtful. "Who frick'n wears the dress in your house? OOOH OOOH I DO!"
Oh the snark that only a sibling can get away. ;-)
I remain untouched by the scourge, clearly a benefit of excellent breeding stock and youthful vigor.
[commences riverdancing in the street, flashing pearly whites at any healthy looking passerby, dodging away in mock terror should someone sniffle in my direction]
I ordered a textbook online for college course. Still hasn't arrived and class started a week ago. Any bets that it arrives today/tomorrow after breaking down and buying it local at 3x cost.
Anyone?
I blame Cosmo for interfering with USPS delivery.
I blame Cosmo for the irony of owning two of the same book I do not want but obligated to buy.
@Ren Cooper: Wow, thanks. Admittedly it was your own in-character responses that inspired the format. I appreciate your compliment.
Allow me to riff off of you as well as come about full circle with the best of intentions then. Revised Ren Cooper's Q&A to reflect a similar interaction with the same caseworker. Some would say she should seek new employment but apparently the position was made with her in mind. I could see a dozen counseling sessions run through her, like a temp agency, plausible deniability with a facade of compassion. Apparently Prof Torgren graduates his charges on a regular basis to conquer the world as they never seem to return.
Plus it fleshed out how Prof Torgren is blackmailing Ren. So it works.
Background: The only requirement is that you answer these five questions:
1) How did your parents die? They pissed off the wrong family or something. Although I found that out later. Fortunately, I was being punished for stealing dessert before dinner and sent to woodshed to await punishment. I know, right? Everything wrong in that house was my fault. So there I was sitting in the dark shed not at all looking forward to my papa providing more admirable examples of fatherhood, when the crickets went real quiet of a sudden. Never saw my papa, but did see a bevy of shadows converge on my house. Something told me to keep quiet and make myself as small as possible. When the screaming started, I hightailed it out of there. Looked back only once to see a glow of fire above the trees.
2) What is your greatest fear? Whoever they were would come after me. What's my name? Cooper. Ren Cooper. Yeah that's my name.
3) What is your greatest wish? Respect and admiration. I deserve it.
4) Who is your least favorite scholar and why is it Professor Togren?
I was too smart for regular school, so Papa arranged for private tutoring with Professor Toejam. Think he bathed once a month, anyway, he had it in for me. His weekly reports to my father always ended up with me in the woodshed and me promising to do better(or not get caught.)
5)My question for you: Why did Samurai Jack never clue in to Akuu's color scheme and attack him right away?
I blame Cosmo that I only have one class towards my major this semester; filled up the rest with curiously interesting but essentially non-core alternates. Two or three Evil Corp(s) purchased blocks of seats in several needed classes to grow their employees before I could register.
Is Cosmo an evil CEO or Overlord blocking my paltry attempts for retraining and employablity? My paranoid conspiracy theory is totally justified.
I was in a bakng mood this past weekend. Snickerdoodles, oreo-stuffed chocchip cookies, ricekrispie treats(x2). A plethora of snackage for weeks if rationed properly.
Notsofast says Cosmo, twirling his evil mustash.
Daughter had homecoming and a GNO(girls night out). With a peck on the cheek and big smile she said this was perfect tribute for her and her gang of princess tazmanian deviltty voraciousness..
I curse Cosmo instructing the young'ns the non-chalant thuggery trait and guiltless appetite.
Posting another part of my journey, confidence booster and owning it. I am out to my girlfriend, have been ever since we started getting serious. She doesn't care, fully supportive and affirming. Wow. So much unsaid here, but it truly feels like I have hit the jackpot.
Went to pick her up at airport presenting MTF as well as possible. No fashion police, no angry pitchforked mobs, no snide commentary that I heard from the crowd awaiting loved ones disembarking. She got off plane, picked me out of crowd, (already above avg size as a male, much moreso as female), didn't blink an eye and greeted me accordingly. She loved my skirt, threatening to steal it later. (Rogue level 1, non-chalant thuggery trait)
While I have been out and about previous, first in a such a large interactive crowd through many public spaces. First time my GF encountered me as me in a public arena with others watching. Litmus test of sorts. She didnt run off screaming into the horizon...
Hah! Speaking customer service rep discussing important financial stuff, near the end instead of shunting me to a typical automated survey, she had to do it manually. Eventually we get to population identity: hispanic, latino, native, etc, no problem. She asked about my gender, male or female. I paused. Hemmed and hawed. Then decided yeah, "is there a third option of Trans?" Then she paused. Then made the notation. Not sure if she just put male or female regardless of my statement. But we have to get counted one way or another. No longer invisible and ignored.
Yeah yeah I know. Choose a side some will say. Eh.
I chuckled about their survey. Standing up for the middle! Yay us!
Well that is an interesting read. First off: 1) retired military. 2) trans-nontransitioning. 3) Prior to DADT, I had a gay roommate in the barracks. He could not suppress it enough and processed out; I was not, although "interviewd" cuz there were questions and doubts raised regarding my own status. Room tossed for evidence etc. [amazing how well panties/nylons compress and blend in with other clothes, but suspect the underage alcohol threw them off... ;-)]. 4) during DADT, I was not outed per se but people knew and others strongly suspected.
Reading the policy, big step in right direction. Trans members can present as their preferred gender off-base without ramifications. I would've loved that opportunity. Certainly, for those whose dysphoria is not so bad that medical transition is not required, the gender can be treated just the uniform. Put it on for military duty, shuck both of them off at end of shift without worry. "What happens off-base, stays off base."
No longer are gender nonbinary affectations (i.e. Sexual deviations) cause for discharge. Still waiting for retired/dependent medical Tr-care insurance to step up to plate. There is much delay and no coverage for any transgender issues mental, counseling or medical. So if member does not transition while in Military, the process will be self- financed in retirement or after separated. But that may change come 2017.
Still a big step. Glad to see progress. That is my take.
Well, had the weekend off. But daughter needs my vehicle for college move-in this weekend. Cosmo telepathically suggested reaching out to my company to see if I could use company vehicle. Did so but at what cost?
Congrats Cosmo, I now am working Frid-Sun, 60 hour coverage. During my FLGS gaming weekend. I am sure that I won't get called in at all. /s.
Well. My tankless waterheater refused to heat. One disassembly later come to find out the installing "Authorized"/"Certified"/"Licensed" plumber mixed steel and copper fittings. Pipes are clogged with corrosion, surprised it worked as long as it did. Warranty does not cover piss-poor installation
Come to think of it, the plumber did bear a certain resemblance to certain Paizo employee...Cosmo.
I covered a co-worker's shift for an estimated 6 hours(after I finished my 12), so she could compete in a local triathlon. Naturally I was tasked with most of it running one event involving 4 hours of commuting to one location. My stomach sank when the call came in.
I blame Cosmo: It couldn't have been a quiet shift or an easy localized event. Cosmo knows no good deeds should go unpunished.
Co-worker promised a beer as consolation and appreciation. I shall inform her of about Cosmo's Law.
Hmmmmm, my last attempt for counseling therapy wasn't covered if "trans" was one of the reasons. Retired military. I wonder if my military health insurance will cover it now?
Visiting the Canadian badlands. Named, I suspect, purely for the engulfing mosquito swarms. I blame Cosmo for his excessive malignant mosquito breeding program.
So I went through a divorce(prior to Jenner), the (now-ex) wife in her infinite wisdom decided to play her martyr card and out me. Realizing she was doing me a favor, I took ownership of it and came out on my terms to my children.
They accepted me. I no longer maintain the strict male facade of the last few decades.
Today, my oldest daughter surprised me with an early Father's Day event. She took me out for a pedicure. Truly the first actual Father's Day gift I honestly appreciated. Didn't get a Manicure cuz job. sadface.
FYI: Sparkly blue tourquise for those who want to know.
too late for hugs?[awkwardly reinitiates hug pile]
[i look stereotypically a cisgender pro white anti-whatever guy, a big'n to boot.]
I tend to be a quietly dissenting voice, asking for references and citations to counter the echo chamber. It (the echo chamber) has slowly quieted down when I am around. Of course, other observations have been noted by those with LGBT-radar and they are trying to figure out what box to put me in... I do not feel the need to to clarify.
I appreciate the hugs, no matter the time <3
I'm not really sure what brought on the latter half of your post here? Are you suggesting we are being an echo chamber?
Not at all, to clarify, the echo chamber is referencing certain highly opinionated folk I workwith.
too late for hugs?[awkwardly reinitiates hug pile]
[i look stereotypically a cisgender pro white anti-whatever guy, a big'n to boot.]
I tend to be a quietly dissenting voice, asking for references and citations to counter the echo chamber. It (the echo chamber) has slowly quieted down when I am around. Of course, other observations have been noted by those with LGBT-radar and they are trying to figure out what box to put me in... I do not feel the need to to clarify.
1) Who was it that started this thread and when?
2) Who is the most prolific poster on this thread?
3) What colored socks is Don Juan de Doodlebug wearing right now?
Just came here to collect my winnings, lo and behold, the whole lot of ya are a bunch of usurpers, grifters, and line cutters. Get away from that trophy, I call Dibs!
