Precious Roy's page

By my home dirt kit! Suckers!

♪♫Precious Roy! Precious Roy! Making lots of suckers out of girls and boys!♪♫

Precious Roy Home Shopping Network

Olly: Welcome folks to the Precious Roy Home Shopping Network. I'm Olly.
Silf: Hi, I'm Sifl.
Olly: You know folks, if you're like me you have alot of extra feats laying around.
Silf: Yeah, yeah.
Olly: Those can cause serious problems with being too useful.
Silf: Dude, you know about the problems I've been having with being useful.
Olly: You have serious ass usefulness problems.
Silf: I really do.
Olly: Let's just thank Precious Roy for this product, it is the Piercing Flail of Crappiness.
Olly: Now these Piercing Flails have had their damage reduced from 1d10 to 2d4 and their crit range reduced from a 19-20/x2 to just a 20/x2.
Silf: Hmmmm.
Olly: But wait, it gets better. We are also going to charge 10 extra gold pieces for it and you'll need to spend a feat to use it effectively.
Silf: Can we talk to Precious?
Olly: Precious?
Precious Roy: This Precious Roy, you kids stop throwing bottles at my house!
Olly: No Precious, this is the Piercing Flail of Crappiness.
Precious Roy: Pierced Nail? You guys are suckers!
Jingle: Precious Roy
Precious Roy
Making Lots of Suckers Out of Girls and Boys!

Coming up next, Precious Roy's Pirate Cripplers.