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My last weekend was "interesting". the shitty details: Step 1: "Friday morning, lets take a shower before work." Step 2: "Why is my bathroom coveered in excrement?" Step 3: "Manic cleaning" Step 4: "Oh, its is clogged and everytime people upstairs use their toilet, everything gets deposited in my bathroom, great!" Step 5: Energetically use various devices, trying to unclog it. Step 6: Accidentally violently disconnect toilet from plumbing, on account of having, while really pissed off, considerably greater physical strength then appreciated. Step 7: Facepalm Step 8: Greatly regret the Facepalm Step 9: Hire professional plumber Step 10: Professional plumber makes things even worse Step 11: Threaten legal action to "professional plumber", while being in bathroom shoveling shit Step 12: Develop prophetic nightmare based powers on when the things flows over again. Step 13: Write up an Omox Demon encounter for an Abyss based game I am currently running. Step 14: Receive plumber again, but actually a sensible one, who does as a matter of fact fix things. Gain greatly enriched reservoir of Turkish swear words from him expressing his professional opinion on the other plumber. Step 15: More manic cleaning Step 16: Be very displeased that its Sunday evening.
In a funny question thing, what music video would represent your character, either in terms of things or in terms of how he sounds? Pär, unsurprisingly, sounds like the Sabaton-bandmembers he is named after. If he ever comes up to actually sing this, ill bowdlerize the lyrics to be medieval/Golarion. Need to come up with a way for him to get a bite attack though.
All of these sound cool and no telepathy currently is totally fine. One of the advantadges of play by post is that you can bounce creative concepts to the DM without holding things up after all :). I am kind of just looking at interesting ways for her to possibly get increased influence over Pär, or perhaps vice versa, representing a bit of a tug of war perhaps.
Pär barely moves, inteend on making no sounds whatsorever. Inner dialouge:
Bloody? I take excellent care of my equipment! Just because it wont rust due to its generally speaking magical makeup, does not mean that I would not care for it appropriately. Care for your blades and your blades will care for you. As stipulated in Eiseths teachings! And in Gorums! Also, some jerk may track you by the blood on your blade. In addition, if you are mortal, prolonged exposure to the bodily fluids of certain adversaries is to be minimized Yeah, I remember having to bury Kettilmund because he got massively pissed other having his arm ripped off and then biting a Ghibrileth to death. His fury was worthy of respect, especially since he was missing one arm and could not longer make effective use of his Numerian Chainaxe I genuinely approve of you approving of him Lady Irathiel But why bury such an excellent weapon with him? The quesiton of who gets it may have caused a small civil war That why you should make your testaments before going on a suicide mission GM Only: It would be prudent to establish further details, such as the extremely low likelyhood of the murderer wearing full plate armor, a magic greatsword, and a crusader batch indicitating a slain Glabrezu Ah, to be a Telepath. Perhaps you wish to avail yourself of my services in this manner Can you telepathically communicate though?
I hope Pärs names for certain demon lords got some chuckles.
If they start stupid shit (as in attack party members), Pär will give them a proper earfull with sound burst, and then intimidatingly introduce himself. He would just go full Gorrum worshipper and list of his notable kills, most notably are probably beating the Incubus Twins Alfadrius and Omegoron in a "triel" (both at the same time, whoever spots the bad WH40K reference can keep it), and dealing the finishing blow on a Glabrezu, although that was a team effort.
Pär stays mum and invisible, assuming that revelaing himself would complicate matters. Nobody is paying him to "control the local crime syndicate population", and he does not kill sentient living beings for free, unless they worship Baphomet or Deskari. Inner dialouge:
Only those two? Would not adding the Lady in Shadows to the list add to your glory? Also known as Lady-not-currently-invading-my-homeplane. Look, we were winning against only Mr-Bugface-notice-me-Aroden-Senpai, at which point Goatface-son-of-dogtits also showed up, after which we werent winning any longer. As such, unduly pissing of the big-boned-bat-barbie simply isnt in Sarkoris interests. Big Boned Bat Barbie? He hears a suprisingly beautifull mental chuckle What is a Barbie on your plane anyway? One of our greatest follies, you see, the Mendevians, geniuses at "public relations" they are tried to do a recruitment drive with posters. One of them featuring a female Angelkin Aasimar Barbarian with like, completely impractictal weapons, armor, and clothing, especially for a Sarkorian winter. This frail little thing was henceforth called "Barbie", and massively backfired because no Barbarian would go into battle wearing what she wore..., to this day "Barbie" is a term of nice to look at but utterly useless in Sarkoris Pär pauses Honestly, the comparison is unfair, to Nocticula who clearly is not useless on account of her Demon Lord kill list, which makes her the "big boned bat b~@@&" to keep up the alliteration. But back to the tpic... If we were in the worldwound your comrades would seek to have them clump and, then some area of effect shouting and they are all stunned. It is a play, but I will see what my allies can do with diplomacy Pär readies an action to cast a DC 16 Sound burst on as many foes as he can, if they attack either of his visible allies, while hitting as few allies as possible. It would be farly non lethal, as 1d8 sonic damage and save or stunned for a turn shouldnt be instant murder territory.
I dislike shooting first, and Pär is not going to murder everything looking at him sideways for no reason. Unless they think Pär is the slasher, and cant be convinced he is not. Obviously if they try to stab a party member, greatsword to the face application will ensue post haste.
Охотник, твой нос светится розовым цветом, а лицо сверкает искрящимися красками. Says Pär to K'Tak, Abyssal:
Hunter, your nose is glowing in pink and your face glitters in sparkly colors. before speaking to him in another language Venator, nasus tuus roseo rutilat, et facies micatulis coloribus micat. Infernal:
Hunter, your nose is glowing in pink and your face glitters in sparkly colors. Apparently assuming that the veteran hunter would speak either of these. Linguistics DC23 and speaking abyssal or Sabella:
Pärs Abyssal is that of a Sarkorian mortal who probably learned from interrogations of what is most likely to be a Baphometan demon, as he stays away from the klick based loanwords favored by Deskarites, and also from the fairly melodic singsong intonations of Nocticulans. Linguistics DC23 and speaking infernal or Imperia: His infernal meanwhile seems to be precisely pronounced Dis standard, interestingly he speaks it as a devil would, with no material plane accent whatsorever.
I agree, nobody is paying me for random heads, and these thugs dont seems instant must kill territory for me, unless they go ahead and randomly flash symbols of the Billy goat or the disgusting bug in my face. Pärs voices his assent with Artemisia, confident that they have superiority in terms of violence.
How many turns of prep do we have? Pärs moves towards the likely entry point, interposing himself between the thugs and any non plate armor clad party members, uses a wand to cast lead blades on his greatsword. suceeds.
Pär with the Erinye still in charge, makes surprisingly like puppy eyes at the hell hound and lets out a Daaaaw, good Doggoe utterly ignoring the Barmans blathering. Oh, you are a dog person?
Upon hearing the arrival of hostiles, he renews his casting of divine favor, which has almost certain run out in the meantime. If our quarry is on the roof, I am not the quickest or most agile, but I believe I am well equipped to deal with the interlopers. The sounds of battle may well drive our quarry away.
Thats weird, it says Kthak last post was 59 mins ago, it only showed up now for me, didnt see it before making mine.
Tadaa, first in character indication of Pär being possessed, I am kind of happy how it came out.
Pär, I am mildly concerned about your clear mental intention to summon a Brimorak in the Bartenders face.
Pärs intonation changes considerably, assuming a somewhat clinical and highly precise tone, that would remind Lady Val of one of her schoolmistresses in some way that seems half an octave higher. We shall indeed endeavor to jointly deposit an appropriate amount of compensation with the guard good Sir, do not hesitate to contact them, presenting them proof in the way of the broken lock should you opt to do so. You may then avail yourself of the guards good offices in an effort to accurate assess the items value, after which an appropriate compensation, taking into account fees incurred for the guards time, will certainly be paid. Allies of the guards are upstairs to register your both your complaints and your testimony, now, if you would kindly proceed alongside us? Lawyer speak, more distant from common then Abyssal.
I was flavoring the diplomacy roll as an assist because Artemisia started talking, but didnt make a roll. If its more intimidation (could go either way honsestly, the statement did feature a clear threat), my bonus would be 15 if this is relevant.
Eh, I am from Sarkoris, one of my "adulthood trials" was "moon a Brimorak". I mooned it, and then I killed it, with my pants still down for extra glory! Like, unless you can also empower and maximize the fireball, I am essentially certain to survive it. So why not talk the a fair elfen Lady rather then fight with M''dineh tracker and a borderline insane Sarkorian Demon Slayer, who would both be in your face almost instantly? Oh, you know you cant empower and maximize the fireball at the same time, if you could, you would not be where you are. Pärs speaks in a conversational tone, implying that being threatened by fireballs is not even tuesay for him. Now, there certainly are individuals whose fireballs I would take seriously
Much less shapely then yours our rears might be.
Dear Pär, did it occur to the Viking Murderhobo master strategist that he possesses no Dark Vision whatsorever?
Pär giggles internally as he bumps his helmeted head on something.
So, my main real life job is for a major telecom company. I now visited the "call center frontlines" and listened to some calls of our "service and sales agents". Suddenly, sympathy for the devil. Make of the "totally not callcenter inspired banter" what you will.
probably me
Sounds and smells like my stepmother, no, not the one that was an Omox
Sense Motive DC13:
Pär is clearly pulling your leg Sense motive DC28: But something about his joke, coupled with his facial expression and subtle tells of his eyes implies that joking about family relations with evil outsiders is possibly a coping mechanism, because that very thing may have happened.
Yeah, the puke from Cultists celebrating Nocticulas birthday did smell different, they were admiddetly a fair bit more attractive and less malnourished then this lot, though probably with a differently disease load.
Adressing the hungover men he says: Greetings, the first person to give me good information on the whereabouts of Jarme Loveage gets a free casting of lesser restoration. He was here recently.
Pär meanwhile jost hopes to get profession: Murderviking recogniced, on account of his crappy wis he isnt really going to invist any skillpoints in it:). I kind of like the "old couple" thing he has going on with his copilot.
Interesting degree of resistance to toxins on display Thinks Pärs as he surveys the scene
Good Quesion Mrs. Burningleaves, generally speaking, our time is more expensive then their possible hangover so... he announces
He then proceeds to cantrip-create create water on top of the patrons he identifies as most wakeable.
My impression is that, there is a big divide between demon lords. Do you have mythic time stop or do you not? Also, Nocticula DC 43-Dominating 2 PCs per round after stripping some immunities away certainly makes things more interesting.
Depends on whom Graz'zt managed to dominate, assuming his skill set is mostly aligned with Nocticulas. Dominate the Mesmerist for a domination chain! Thats at least what Aunti Noctie would do.
Pär meanwhile is just happy to assist in diplomacy, intimidation is where he is actually good at socially. And he basically cant fail to roll diplomatic assists. Question though, is it metagamey if I assist the highest roll?
Hmm, should be careful with enlarge person here, these boardwalks are unlikely to support 8 times my weight.
Kthak, how old do you reckon is that bloodtrail? Pär cantrips "enchance diplomacy" on himself, and proceed to cast protection from evil on himself and Kthak, assuming he agrees.
Inner dialouge:
Irathiel, since when did you get moody? Wait, do you have your uhhm Red moon? Pärs chuckles mentally. She is always like that when I am not smacking a demon in the face or she wants something from me. He considers.
Pär lets out a small chuckle for real as he zooms back into the situation. Lady Sabella speaks true I believe,Information is ammunition, but it can be exchanged without, in many cases lessening its value. The one who is hurt is our mutual adversary. I detest child slayers in particular.
Although, in all honesty. Pär thinks to himself, the information we have concerning the "treasure map" is politically dangerous. But his more diplomatically capable comrades have probably considered this.
GM: Lady Irathiel, if I may have a minute of your time? Pärs asked his co-pilot. Certainly Pär She answered. I fully understand that you would have a hard time divulging informaion that is contrary to your queens interests, alas, are we in agreement that the "killer" is exceedingly unlikely to be aligned with Eiseth, on account on his or her weak target selection and general lack of style? And that any of my efforts to annihilate whatever it is are completely reasonable? I do not wish to count Hell's Valkyrie among those antagonistic to me on account of a misunderstanding
Excellent Mrs. Burningleaves, I have an Augury of doors getting kicked in, without actually knowing the spell! I wonder why that could be? Pärs says, clearly relishing the prospect of targetted violence. Pär gives the treasure map a once over, noting copying it into his own journal.
Post battle Pär collects the evidence of the battle, actually noting down the time at which it was taken, and puts the heads into a seperate bag, assuming that his consitutions renders him the most suitable to perform such tasks with limited risk of infection. What to do with the rest of the bodies hmm. Burning them is destroying evidence, not burning them is a health concern. My constitions gives little care about the threat from them, but the malnourished people in the area? He thinks. He adresses the party:
At Refruns: The powers granted to me are not particularly tailored to activities outside of battle. I volunteer for first watch, or any other watch.
Pärs pauses. As a military man myself, I typically find myself to be quite capable of building a raport with other military personal, but I assess several our or members to be considerably more diplomatic then myself. He finishes, his speech patterns post battle being suprisingly refined. When at Refruns:
Rest is reasonable, Pär volunteers for first watch.
I will adjust my sheat to be more GM friendly, with all abilties seeable on a glance, tomorow, currently to drunk for it :).
Gorum despises biological warfare Pär informs the Cadavar lords while simultaneously farting into his general direction.
Crit threat?
AoOs for GM purposes, players do not look:
Happens, real life is often a b@~+~
Pär shouts the informaton to the rest of the party.
Retcon, lunge doesnt work like that. Totally my bad. Pär casts enlarge person. Giving him his 10 feet reach. Please substract 3 from the to hit and damage rolls, sorry for the inconvenience.
I am hitting with a 16, and 18 and a 15, so I am probably not hitting anything :). damage rolls in case I do actually hit.: 16 13 slashing + 7 holy from holy dice roll before 18 17 slashing + 8 holy from holy dice roll before 15 15 slashing + 9 holy from holy dice roll before
Uff, I am dumb. Hopefully I am allowed to retcon. My dice are still terrible :) . Retconning my action into something very similar then.In my defense, normally its "you gain X and lose Y until the end of your turn".
I massively derped the damage rolls, 2d6 not 26 arghhh, why does it treat 2D6 as 26?:
Sounds like a really elaborate way to say please kill us for real. internal monologue:
Wights can be serious business, level drain is annoying to deal with. Yeap, charging in screaming Blood for gorum is not the play here Smaller once look pretty quick, will try to close the distance. Lets make them pay for it Pär moves in front of he group, drawing his greatsword in the process and casts a spell. Before Assuming a lunging posture. 4 AoO attacks, divine favor:
Milestone exp is always an option :).
We shall hunt soon enough K'Tak'Ktha'hal, I look forward for to it much more then to interrogating cowards.
Let us hunt then, unless one of these chucklef*#!s makes a really bad decision. Pär smirks.
Pär is fine with tying them up. Cold murder is no, nobody pays him for murdering atm., releasing them in the shadows is somehing he would consider, in terms of making their employer feel that the heroes are entire reasonable persons who can be negotiated with.
Intimidate? Did someone call my name?
Pär would move to isolate them from each other, and wait until eiher Val or Artimisia makes the first move.
Look, I am Sarkorian, which should be competely obvious Pärs states, in a completely non threatening way, to the 2 prostitutes.
My current profession is that people hire me, and I kill evil extraplanars for them, or send them back to their plane, typically by delivering massive amounts of violence to their face assuming they got one.
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