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I really gotta stop going to Arkham Optometry...
. . . someone wanna Aid Another?
Today I learned that “quantity has a quality all it’s own,” doesn’t apply to healthy eating. I might have been doing this wrong.
I usually feel better when I'm happy. Anyone else?Weird. I need will saves to disbelieve, and then fort saves!
Furthermore, Thanos said that the Universe is finite. How would he know? The observable universe is only approximately 14 Billion Light Years in radius. Do we know that the Universe didn't keep expanding past that horizon? I think that not only did it continue to expand, but that it's still expanding. Hoooneeey, where's my super suit?
as big as your head are overrated. That's where we camels have an advantage over apefolk, er, humans. By securing our spines with four supports rather than two, our frame supports double the mammaries that humans have.
But... pinto beans? Are you implying that pinto beans exist?
Can anybody swim in this mudpuddle or is it just for the smart kids? *glances around furtively, looking for smart kids*
Bees? You know how some superheros are named after animals, like Batman or Antman or Squirrelgirl? I've invented a superhero of my own. Herculesbeetleperson. With all the proportionate speed and strength of a hercules beetle! Speaking of proportionate strength, that's really just a misunderstanding of the squared cubed law. It's entertaining to note that Elephantperson would probably be weaker and slower than just regular Humanbloke. (No hard numbers on elephant abilities, though. I mean, I could probably find them, but . . . eh.) That said, how was everyone's American Excess Day? Did you enjoy being a mindless consumerist in a absurdly wealthy nation as much as I did?
*inhales deeply from kettle* Ah, that’s the stuff.
By the rough beast, it’s been twelve years . . . I feel old.
Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat?Are you sure you're not Carl the Llama? *wonders if mentioning Charlie the Unicorn is too close to being a sequitur, decides to play it safe and link to a Wikipedia article on swear words instead*
What is the sound of red? Isn’t it weird that people are made of meat? Cats too.
Have you ever read Unsounded? Awesomecool art, spectacular story. Highly recommend.
Waffeln schmecken wie waffeln! Do we need another of these? Am I the only person who thinks trees look more like dinosaurs than birds do? That can’t be coincidental.
So, this guy walks into a fast food joint. And he sees a pirate sitting at one of the tables. A big, scary pirate with a scary pirate hat and a scary pirate beard, resplendent in pirate garb and equipped with an eye patch, a hook hand, and a peg leg. Looking closer at the pirate, the guy realizes that he knows the pirate! The went to high school together. Sitting at the table, the guy says, "Dave? It's been forever!" The pirate says, "Aye, that be my name, though most be calling me Captain Piratebeard these days." "Wow," quoth the guy. "We have got to catch up. Say, where did you get that peg leg?" Captain Piratebeard shakes his head furiously, remembering. "A shark bit it off!" he exclaims. "Sounds painful. And that hook for a hand, what happened there?" "Lost it in battle!" exclaims the grizzled pirate. "Oof. Tough luck. What about the eye patch? What's the story behind that?" "Uh . . ." Captain Piratebeard looks uncomfortable. "To tell ye the truth, a seagull pooped in me eye." The guy winces sympathetically. "Ow. But I don't see that you'd lose the eye." "But ye see, 'twas my first day with the hook."
1d4 goblin babies ask, "Who's that at the door?" {presses doorbell button hidden on desk}
Non Sequitur Camel, do you use pre or post -wash conditioner? Why did the elves name Glamdring "The Foe Hammer"? It's not a hammer, it's a frickin' sword.
Asmodeus's Advocate here, with Diomedes Ilika, dhampir fighter (steelbound). I'll get a more complete backstory up when I finish drafting it, and I'll be adding stats to his alias some time tonight. appearances:
Diomedes Ilika is a short man with long and uncared for hair, pallid skin, and a scruffy beard. His irises are white, but with pronounced limbal rings.
He dresses in drab colors and tries not to call attention to himself, with the exception of his bright yellow red ribboned straw hat. And the monster of a scythe that he usually carries slung over one shoulder, or drags behind him, though it can be strapped to his belt. Other than that and the hat, he doesn't stand out at all. He walks with a stiff shuffle-hop gait, which tends to unease people. vignets: A weathered straw hat, with a dark red band, floated down the main street just below eye level.
Takes were doubled, and the optical illusion shattered. There was a man beneath the hat, a short grey man. His skin palid, his long hair white as dirty snow, his threadbare traveling cloak grey and brown in patches. The overall effect was that of not existing, exepting his hat with it’s striking red ribbon, the man faded perfectly into the dreary Ustalavian landscape. In Ustalav, it doesn’t pay to trust strangers. YOu can never tell who may be a withch, a witchwolf, or worse. The stranger eyed the people sitting on their stoops with equal distrust. That was probably a good sign. Meant he was unsure of himself. Stiffly, the strange man with the strange hat clamored up the steps of the general store. He opened the door softly, closing it behind him. Curious and wary eyes turned back on themselves and each other. Words were spoken, murmured, hushed. The silence remained unbroken. - Diomedes Ilika sits crosslegged on a rock as the sunsight lights the sky orange and red. He stares intently at the scythe laying flat in his hands. It’s impossible to mistake this weapon for a farm tool. The blade, an impractically sized crescent of some blood-red metal. Likely stained steel. Dio didn’t know. The haft black and polished, though in all the years he’d carried the weapon Dio’d never so much as run a rag over it. Gibeous, Lorimor had named it. Idly, Dio wondered what the scythe was thinking. Of course, he had no way of telling. The scythe’s mind was it’s, and Dio’s was his own. For all the good it’d done him. He had the professor to thank for that. ”I’m not doing this for charity,” the then young wizard had said, those decades ago, interrupting Diomede’s profuse gratitude. ”I might need your, and Gibeous’s, talents at some future date. I trust you’ll come through for me.” Debts come due, Dio thinks to himself, standing abruptly and casting Gibeous to the ground. Almost imediately, his hands start shaking and a dull throb builds between his temples. Fumbling, he draws from his cloak a flask, taking a drink to steady himself. He stands, swaying, with Gibeous at his feet, and watches the sun fall beneath the horizon. Fists clenched, knees shaking, until the last bit of day gives way to the night. Only then does he retrieve the scythe, weakness and headache immediately relieved. With a hand loosely bracing the cursed weapon on his shoulder, Diomedes Ilika shuffles towards Ravengrow, straw hat standing out against the night.
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