Our investigators have revealed that Comrade Romney only eats bagels for breakfast. Obviously this means he is in the pay of certain ... groups that wish to promote filthy capitalist products like bagels.
Revolt against the bougeous bagel eaters and embrace the ideological purity of Sendero Luminoso committee baked and approved muffins! Viva Presidente Gonzalo!
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
You tell them comrade! If you ever get your hands on those reactonary tools of the plutocrats I have a few openings at my Shining Path Re-Educational Coffeeshop and Poetry facility! After a Few months of baking, coffee brewing and listening to modernistic revolutionary poetry they'll either be good comrades or commit suicide. Either way it works out and the People get some good service from their reactionary hides in the meantime!