The Shining Path!
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Our investigators have revealed that Comrade Romney only eats bagels for breakfast. Obviously this means he is in the pay of certain ... groups that wish to promote filthy capitalist products like bagels. Revolt against the bougeous bagel eaters and embrace the ideological purity of Sendero Luminoso committee baked and approved muffins! Viva Presidente Gonzalo!
Muffins are the most perfect food! The Chairman says so, so it MUST be true! Eat muffins or you are a running-dog lackey of the plutocracy!
You tell them comrade! If you ever get your hands on those reactonary tools of the plutocrats I have a few openings at my Shining Path Re-Educational Coffeeshop and Poetry facility! After a Few months of baking, coffee brewing and listening to modernistic revolutionary poetry they'll either be good comrades or commit suicide. Either way it works out and the People get some good service from their reactionary hides in the meantime!
Have some Sendero-Gonzalez scones! Fresh baked by our misguided guests at the re-education facility!
What about Abdusters? Don't you have obscene profits to make raping Brazils resources? Begone plutocrat before we hang you from a telephone pole!
And how dare they call themselves 'Well Street' while they poison the earth and steal the wealth that belongs to the workers! Let us rename them 'Sick Street' in honor of their plutocratic capitalist mental illness
Running dog! Away with your slave-grown coffee!
Eat the Rich! Cereal is a conspiracy of our corporate masters to make us pay $5.00 for a box of silo sweepings doused in cheap corn fructose! ARISE AND EAT MUFFINS! THEY ARE THE TRUE EGALITARIAN MEAL! |