Michael J. Caboose CORE's page

Caboose, completely missing Lady Dacilane's disdain for him, replies, "Oh her name isn't Mira, her name's Junia! She is my new best friend. See we were on this adventure, and then there was some stuff, and then there was some other stuff, and then we found her sleeping and Sharien thought she was a zombie but then I decided she was a friendly zombie and then we brought her to the nice lady with the white robes and..."

Caboose continues talking for awhile, oblivious to the fact that Lady Dacilane had stopped paying attention to him some time ago. As the servants take Junia from his arms, he accidentally knocks a couple of them to the ground before handing Junia safely into their care.

"Goodbye Junia! Take good care of her! Remember to give her lots of sun and water her 5 times a day!"

Thanks for running the game! =)

Story-wise, Caboose had intended to bring the girl to the banquet early on, so I figure that whilst Jayori's attempt to redirect him would have succeeded for awhile, eventually Caboose would have gone to collect her to bring her to the "party" so she can start eating things other than salads. ;)

I would have kept Caboose away from the banquet...but the unconscious girl being Junia changed everything. XD

It was not entirely clear during their last conversation that Caboose completely understood Jayori's words to him, but then it is never clear that Caboose understands anything (the only thing that can be potentially clear about Caboose's understanding of anything is the lack of it). However as the evening progresses, Caboose's continued absence gives the paladin some measure of relief... until just a few seconds after the portrait of Junia is revealed.

Almost as if on cue, a commotion is heard outside. Soon after, one of the attendants comes flying through the double doors of the banquet hall screaming "whhhyyyyyyy........" as an all-too familiar voice says in a helpful tone "be careful." It is followed by the weak voice of a young woman, or perhaps a teenage girl, giggling.

As heads turn towards the double-doors, a large man in blue armor appears in the doorway, a familiar emaciated but now-conscious young woman in his arms.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure this is where the big party was and there will be lots of food here and you're going eat all you want and grow big and strong...," Caboose declares cheerfully as he enters the room. Junia giggles weakly as she taps on Caboose's helmet with her fingernails, making a series of soft ringing sounds that seem to amuse her well enough for the moment.

"Heeeeeyyyyy... ... everyone is looking at us! Hello everybody!" Caboose calls out as a silence descends on the room.

An overgrown idiot and a young woman with, I assume, the mind of a child (since it looks like she'd been in a come for years). Seems like a perfect "Benny and Joon" pairing. How could I resist?

Thanks for running the game, Deussu! =)

As far as role-playing the next part, though... Caboose will continue to be Caboose. For that reason, I can see the rest of the party wanting to find some way to keep him from the banquet - totally justified by the way. And with Caboose the way he is, it is actually going to be very easy to trick him into not going. Feel free to flanderise his stupidity by spinning a yarn that only an idiot would buy. ;)

Or let him go to the banquet with all that will entail. ;)

"Running time," Caboose says in a strange sing-song voice as he picks up the unconscious girl.

"Come on friendly-zombie-girl, I'll take good care of you and we're going to be best friends."

Cradling the unconcious girl in his arms, Caboose starts running towards the exit.

Possibly, but thus far, Caboose hasn't impressed with his intelligence/wisdom, and we don't really have any IC reason to seriously regard anything coming out of his mouth ;-)

I know! I love it! I always avoided playing characters with dump INT, and this is my first foray into role-playing an idiot. I'm quite enjoying it! XD

But fortunately BABS also noticed that the girl was still alive, and Jayori is now starting to take notice and suspect that the ring might be keeping her alive. =)

I'm trying to create an ironic situation where Caboose has gotten close to a reasonable guess, but for all the wrong reasons. XD

This may be one of those "idiot has a point" moments. We may want to put the ring back on the girl asap. Caboose is of course too dumb to suggest this directly, but I'd suggest it out-of-character.

Caboose tries his best to follow the conversation, then suddenly has a flash of inspiration. Or at least what passes for inspiration where he's concerned.

"Maybe...the salad-maker that she's wearing was making salads for her, and feeding she's been eating salads while she was down here! My mom always told me that I had to eat meat to grow big and strong. She looks like she has not been eating meat for a very long time. We should bring her to that party we were invited to! Then she can eat all the meat she wants and grow big and strong again!"

"Caboose, my friend, you've been hurt. You should get some healing. There was a healing wand in the backpack, was there not? I cannot use such a thing, but I'm sure one of our friends can."

I don't recall finding a healing wand, but if there is one, do someone use it on me!

"Oh, don't worry. I am ok. I've been injured many times before and I've always come out... fine, both physically and..."

There is a long drawn-out pause as it appears that Caboose might have more to add to that statement. Eventually, however, it becomes apparent that that was all he had to say on the topic.

"Stop! That girl isn't dead, or even undead. She appears to still be alive!"

"Not un-dead. Wait, she's not dead, and she's not not-dead? Is she like a zombie? She must be a friendly zombie! Because she's not trying to eat... my... that thing that's inside my head. Hello friendly zombie! How are you today? Are you going to wake up soon? You must have gone to bed really, really late last night."

"I don't think you can make salads with that," Caboose objects doubtfully, "but maybe if you gave mister Dreng that instead, he will be so happy he forgets about how hungry for salads he is."

"Why don't you just ask the girl for her ring when she wakes up?"

As the ghoul collapses, Caboose seems to calm down. He looks around quizzically, as if surprised to find himself inside the chamber. He speaks again, it is in his normal, slightly-confused-but-cheerful voice.

"What happened? The last thing I remember was a very mean kitten. And then we were in the janitor's closet! ...and my throat hurts alot."

He looks around a little more and notices Jarlaxle looking over the well-preserved body. None the wiser, he sheathes his sword, walks over to the girl and shakes her gently.

"Hello! Why are you sleeping in here? Is it comfortable in there? You look like you could use a big sandwich. Are you hungry? Are you hungry? Are you cold? Do you need a blanket? Little girl, do you want some hot dogs in a blanket?"

I hope I don't raise a ghost doing this. XD

Edit:

Perception: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (17) - 2 = 15
Heal: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (17) - 2 = 15

fort save 1: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 Pass
fort save 2: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17 Pass

Caboose takes little notice as the ghoul tears into him with its claws.

"YOUR TOAST HAS BEEN BURNT! AND NO AMOUNT OF SCRAPING WILL REMOVE THE BLACK PARTS!!!"

With that highly incongruous proclamation, he once again swings his sword at the nasty creature.

attack roll: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
damage roll: 2d6 + 13 ⇒ (1, 3) + 13 = 17
confirmation roll: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15
crit damage roll: 2d6 + 13 ⇒ (1, 2) + 13 = 16

Meh, I doubt it could kill me in one turn. Also, I take issue with the suggestion that Caboose understands the concept of strategy. ;)

To be fair, there's still a good chance I'll get knocked out or paralyzed, but he can't have much hp left, and you guys should have little trouble finishing him off. =)

Caboose waves at the undead creature and calls out to it. "Hello..." he begins to call out, but is cut off by Jarlaxle's harsh warning about the creature.

"Uh...I don't really understand any of that, but it sounds like he's a mean person. Is he a mean person? Because my best friend Church told me that if I met a mean person that I needed to be mean back to, I should get angry. Uh...I just need to concentrate on bad things and say mean things... like...uh... your brain is a mountain of hatred... now... I am thinking about kittens! Kittens COVERED IN SPIKES! That makes me angry..."

Caboose's voice sounds unusually and increasingly strained as he speaks, and upon finishing he lets out a strained yell that quickly turns into a ferocious bellow. When he speaks again, his voice is low and menacing, and completely unlike that of the cheerful, simple-minded buffoon from a few moments before.

"YEEEEEAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE. AND I. HATE. BABIES!!!!"

With that strange battle cry on his lips, Caboose runs straight for the ghast and aims a devastating blow at its head.

"I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!!!"

raging attack roll!: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25
raging damage roll!: 2d6 + 13 ⇒ (6, 6) + 13 = 25

LOL another perfect damage roll. Guess fortune really does favour idiots. XD

Sorry for negating your readied action, Jarlaxle. If you hadn't noticed, Caboose has no head for strategy. XD

Caboose looks at Sharien blankly for a moment, then lowers his sword.

"Handle? Doors don't have handles. They are opened by buttons! And keys. And I learned a long time ago that swords are keys, and that when you stick them in people, it unlocks their death. But I was thinking they are still keys, so I..."

At this point, Riceak, who has evidently tired of Caboose's meandering logic train of thought confusion, walks right past him and opens the door by simply using the door handle.

"Oh. How did you do that?" Caboose asks, amazed that Riceak was able to open the door so easily and quietly. "You must be a very strong man," he quickly concludes as he hefts his sword and prepares to enter the room.

Caboose continues his animated conversation with Deris and Cassiel (and tries his best to cheer up the 'grumpy' Cassiel) until the party decides to move on.

"Goodbye friends! See you soon!" Caboose calls out cheerily to Deris and Cassiel as he follows the rest of the party to the next door.

He looks at the door indicated by Jarlaxle and without hesitation says "Ok!" as he walks towards it...

...raises his sword high and attempts to sunder it.

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (3, 2) + 10 = 15

And again...

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (5, 2) + 10 = 17
confirmation roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (1, 1) + 10 = 12

And again...

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (4, 4) + 10 = 18

Caboose sits himself right next to Deris and Cassiel and nods as they speak.

"Yes. Yes. That is very interesting. I did some seismic activities too. It was a long time ago, but we had alot of fun."

He breaks into a big grin.

"You sound like a very smart girl Cassiel, and I would love to be your new best friend."

As the last ghoul is cut down, Caboose looks around guiltily.

"Uhh...he was already dead before I got close to him...," he mumbles, clearly not believing his own words despite their actual truth. "Yeah, um...Jarlaxle cut through his friend and got him somehow. If anyone asks, Jarlaxle did it."

The big man continues to fidget until Deris proclaims that the ghouls were not friends after all. "Oh! Well I guess that's alright then! It's ok, Jarlaxle, we forgive you." He pats the half-elf's shoulder reassuringly. It is evident that Caboose is a magnanimous soul, if he could only get the facts right to apply that magnanimity.

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Caboose follows silently as the group progresses through the ruins. Eventually, however, his ever-wandering attention is drawn to the suit of bronze armor that Jarlaxle had retrieved.

"Oh look! It's Lopez! I wonder what he is doing here. Hello Lopez! Hmm...he's not responding. He must be broken. Maybe the Puff-finders can repair him like they are trying to repair my armor!"

Regardless of whether you get the reference, this should give Jarlaxle something to capitalise on to convince Jayori to let them take the armor. ;)

Caboose looks around sheepishly as his sword cuts down the ghoul.

"Uh...he kinda got in the way when I was trying to say hello to him, " he starts to say...

...as he hacks at the next ghoul in front of him.

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (6, 6) + 10 = 22

Wow those damage rolls... If Riceak takes down the ghoul in front of Caboose before Caboose's turn, Caboose will 5ft step and resolve the attack against the ghoul behind.

Sorry, it was the greatsword with power attack.

Readied attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17
readied attack damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (6, 4) + 10 = 20

In this instance, and for different reasons, it just so happens that Caboose will stand beside Jayori and not move forward yet.

But never assume what Caboose is too dumb to do. ;)

"Quickly, to my right, so they cannot flood the rest of the room as I step back."

Looks like all the melee spots are taken.

"Ok!" Caboose yells as he runs to Jayori's left, only to see the massive Riceak in his way. "Ah....I forgot which side was right."

"Are we meeting new people?" Caboose yells from behind as Jarlaxle fills the last spot in front of the ghouls. He jumps up and down, trying to see who the new people are. "I love meeting new people!"

Readied action to 5ft forward and swing as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

"They are not a great many things." Jayori responds distractedly, as he moves to see what or who might be approaching.

"I know they are not a great many things. They are small many things! Thought not that small. They grow up so fast. Seems like just yesterday that we first met them."

If Jayori is going to walk all the way into the room, Caboose will walk towards the ghostly children and wave to them.

"Hello! My name is Michael J. Caboose! Are we telling stories?"

Really hoping that a tier 1-2 module does not have ways for negative levels to be inflicted on the PCs...

Caboose nods at Deris' assessment of the boy. "See? Told you he was asleep," he says in a told-you-so tone.

When the party eventually finds Cassiel, Caboose begins to follow Deris, then stops when Jarlaxle halts him.

perception: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1

"I don't hear anything. They must be moving very quietly!," Caboose observes. "Oh I know! They must be playing hide and seek!"

"It would appear our path forward is obvious." He says, to the others, peering down the stairs.

"Yeah, I know how to go forwards too! You just walk in the direction you are facing!" Caboose declares proudly, evidently pleased by his insight into the art of "moving forward". "I can't go backwards though. I was told never to do that."

Caboose is happy to go second.

Caboose sees Jayori pulling out one of the sconces and decides that he wants one too. Grabbing hold of the next-closest one, he yanks and pulls till it comes loose.

"Oh, I think we can just leave the boy here to sleep until he is ready to wake up. He might get grumpy if he is woken up early, and nobody likes to deal with a grumpy kid. Also, I like this new torch. The fire on it does not feel like it is hot. That means that if I cook with it, I won't burn myself."

Caboose grins widely, obviously pleased with his brilliant idea. He fastens the sconce to his weapons belt as he would a club, and it casts erratic shadows as it dangles and swings about when Caboose follows Jayori to the Southern door, though the effect seems to fascinate rather than annoy the blue-armored warrior.

"Hey, why are you hitting us? We never did anything to you," Caboose complains to the zombie...as he takes another swing at it.
Btw, I'm using power attack. =)

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (6, 1) + 10 = 17
bread roll: 1d yum + food = lunch

"Hello! Wow, there are so many people down here. It's like there's a party! Can we help you?" Caboose calls out cheerfully as he walks up to the zombie and hacks at it with his greatsword.

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14
damage roll: 2d6 + 10 ⇒ (3, 2) + 10 = 15

"Hello! Why are you sleeping here! Do you need a bed!?" Caboose calls out, oblivious to the danger.

"Awww, no, he's just sleeping. It must be his bedtime. Because it's already dark," Caboose observes as he looks around their surroundings.

Betha has a +7 Perception, so she can lead if no one else wants to. I suggest maybe the two half-orcs up front.

That's not a bad option. Caboose's body is as dense as his head, but he can't spot an enemy to save his life. I'll follow close behind.

Caboose tucks the bony arm into his belt and slings his shield, then pulls forth his guisarme. He calls out into the darkness at the top of his lungs.

"Hello? Hello! We are looking for Cassiel and her dog! Can anyone hear me!?"

Is there by any chance an echo in here?

"Ooooooh. Haha I thought it was your dog's name, not your daughter's name. So what was the dog's name again?"

Before he can pursue that line questioning any further, however, Caboose is distracted by Shadrien's light spell and quickly follows the rest of the party down the hole.

"Cassie? Is that your puppy? Did Cassie go chasing after this bone?" Caboose asks with genuine if completely-mistaken concern as he waves the bony arm about.

"Don't worry, we'll find Cassie. Here, you can hold her bone. Then maybe she will come running back to you!" He proffers the bony arm to Deris with a big grin on his face.

On a more serious note, what can we see from where we are? How deep does the ladder descend to and can we see the bottom?

"Clicky's not moving anymore. Aww...Clicky's gone to sleep. Isn't he cute?" Caboose asks as he 'pets' "Clicky" a few more times with the scimitar before leaving it behind. He has a silly grin on his face as he follows Jayori out of the water and grabs hold of the rope.

"Are we playing tug-of-war with that hand? I bet we're going to win. We have 7 and a half times more hands than he has!"

Caboose looks at the humongous bug with more than just a hint of excitement.

"Oh look! A puppy! I name it Clicky. Clicky, the bug that loves! I'll go and pet it!"

Despite his words, Caboose incongruously strides forward and swings at "Clicky" with his scimitar.

attack roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18
damage roll: 1d6 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

Caboose stands ready to help pull on the rope once Jayori is ready.

So far no one, not even Deris Marlinchen, has chosen to act hostile.

As far as Caboose is concerned, Deris is just a friendly old guy who loves his daughter. ;)

"Let us know if you need an extra hand!" Caboose calls out cheerfully, oblivious to the fact that he's just made a very bad pun.

"She told me she know the way down—yes," the man says, nodding his head and flashing a grin, "and you, my well-armored friend, lunchtime is long past, it's-it's your bed time soon. Soon."

"Oh I just thought that since it was going to be my bed time soon, and I don't have a bed yet, I might be getting a bed room. For bed time."

Caboose looks at the water curiously.

"Who does the arm belong to? Does he know he lost it?"

Perception: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (16) - 2 = 14

Waiting to see what happens with the trident-prod.

"Oh. I didn't hear it at all! But thank you, Mrs. Heracks. I'll be sure to do my homework."

Caboose follows Deris and the illusory Mrs Heracks out into the yard.

"I already had lunch? But I don't even remember what I had for it. Are you showing me to my bedroom? And when are you going to show us the way to the cellar of salads?"

Sharien keeps quiet, worried for the man's sanity.

For Deris' sanity or Caboose's?. XD

perception: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (15) - 2 = 13

Caboose notices the wispy nature of the "people" in the classroom but appears to be completely unperturbed. He walks right into the classroom and waves to "Mrs Heracks".

"Hello Mrs Heracks. We're on a tour and we are also looking for a salad-maker with two onion rings on his finger and we were hoping you could tell us how to get to his base. Ment."

"A tour!" Caboose chimes in enthusiastically. "Ooh boy, I love tours! Make sure you also bring us to the souvenir shop."

For the moment, Caboose has his shield on his arm, no weapon drawn.

"Introductions! Splendid!" the man cries out exuberantly, "my name is Deris Marlinchen, best of times to meet you! I thought I'd tend the grounds while I wait for my daughter, Cassiel, to finish her school day. You-you should see how she's grown! Those beautiful, beautiful long braids!"

"Salad-makers? he asks, puzzled, "you mean cooks?"

Caboose is pleased to see that the man is friendly and replies with equal cheerfulness.

"No not cooks. Nobody cooks salads. That would be silly. Everybody knows salads are grown. I think we are looking for a gardener, but one who only grows salads. Do you grow salads? Do you grow salads with onion rings in them? Those are the best kind."

A look of sudden realisation appears on Caboose's face.

"Oh, I know! Maybe the rings that the salad-maker has on his finger are ONION RINGS!"

"Hello. My name is Michael J. Caboose. These are my friends. We are searching for puffs. We are supposed to be finding them. Also, we are looking for a salad-maker. He wears two rings on one finger."

He leans in towards the strange man and says in a conspirational tone, but still loud enough that anyone within 20 metres could hear him loud and clear.

"Do you know any salad-makers?"

Caboose walks up to the man cutting down the trees and calls out enthusiastically at the top of his lungs.

"Hello friend! I see you are cutting down trees! Are you making a table? Oh I know! A times table. So you can tell when it's dinner time!"

Caboose still has one point too much in his build (21). It actually says so in the character sheet. I initially thought his dex was meant to be 13 or so, decreasing the point amount.

Oopsie. Nah it was 1 point too much CHA. He has no use for CHA, but I didn't want to dump it. He's not a bad-looking or hostile guy, just dumb as a brick. XD

Thanks for the audit, btw. =)

Sorry if it was confusing, but Caboose only has 3 skill ranks, but I made 2 entries for acrobatics - one with his shield and one without, because he will sometimes use his 2-handed weapons and at other times use his shield and a single-handed weapon. =)

Caboose is meant to be a little brain-addled. There's no way I'd give him more skill points than I can. XD

Thanks for noting the error in my init though. Appreciate the audit! =)

I've added clothes for him now. =)

Guess we're going to the ruins first then.

"A party and a road trip! Oh man! This will be the best adventure. EVER!"

Caboose's blind enthusiasm seems to suggest that he does not really mind one way or the other. From your interactions with him, you get the impression that you shouldn't really put much weight on his decisions anyway, impaired as his ability to make them is.