Lord Secretary of Kicking A**'s page

I'm ready to press the red button!

<Drops a blitz bomb>

What is the sound of one bear crapping?

taig wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

SO I wonder what it was that Gary told Sara Marie about us?

It's probably best we don't know...

You're probably right. Do me a favor and blow up Mexico will ya.

Done!

taig wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

~Runs around thread naked handing out DVDs of his honeymoon.~

WOOT!! ToTP!

Huh. I had top of the page. Is Earth-1 trying to merge with Earth-2?

I out rank you. ;)

Two words: Violent military overthrow

Yes, my dealing with nature is more in the realm of "collateral damage".

President Eden wrote:

The Enclave doesn't recognize your sovereignity, we're the true America! A couple of nukes should put that big crack right back into proper order.

Your President:
John Henry Eden

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** Taig had your nukes... for breakfast. Besides, didn't you get talked into offing yourself by a 19 year old girl in cut off jeans? ;)

They gave me indigestion, too. The nukes, not the cutoff jeans.

Studpuffin wrote:

Sorry, I called Excalibur, so I am King.

Do not make me sic the Lord Secretary of Kicking A** on you. ;)

<Shoots Studpuffin>

Was I supposed to ask him to stop first?

Welcome to the thread, Studpuffin. Again again.

Allow me to revise my statement:

<Shoots War-Bucks and Thing>

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I declare a PILLOW FIGHT!

*Whomps Urizen*

<Shoots Studpuffin>

Never bring a pillow to a gunfight!

<blows up LSA with a cluster bomb>

never bring a gun to a dog fight!

Now I'm going to have to get my fur cleaned. Again.

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Studpuffin wrote:

I declare a PILLOW FIGHT!

*Whomps Urizen*

<Shoots Studpuffin>

Never bring a pillow to a gunfight!

<deflects bullet with pillow>

KEVLAR PILLOWS! >:p

OK. You pass. Welcome to the thread. Again.

I declare a PILLOW FIGHT!

*Whomps Urizen*

<Shoots Studpuffin>

Never bring a pillow to a gunfight!

Time to nuke this thread from orbit.

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Note to self, I think the monkey and the other drow are conspiring to over throw my rule... must watch for poo bombs from now on. :P

Nah, LPM, we just wanna be your Secret Service and watch for gatecrashers of dubious nature... ;P

I have noticed as of late ALOT of Indian Ambasadors..... I can't help but wonder why they were in my bedroom though.

We will repel the invaders, sir!

Except her. Agent Curtin and I will gladly do a patdown (no pun intended) search before admitting her. I don't think LPM will bar her from easy access. :P

The First Lady might, though. ;)

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Note to self, I think the monkey and the other drow are conspiring to over throw my rule... must watch for poo bombs from now on. :P

Nah, LPM, we just wanna be your Secret Service and watch for gatecrashers of dubious nature... ;P

I have noticed as of late ALOT of Indian Ambasadors..... I can't help but wonder why they were in my bedroom though.

We will repel the invaders, sir!

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Nordstrom wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Nordstrom wrote:

Even the angels know you're a has-been! Sir, step into our espresso bar and have a complimentary espresso drink as our piano soothes you into a purchasing trance...

No thanks. I hate espresso.

Sir, you seem to be confused again...I was talking to the gentleman with a heavenly credit rating and a Celestial Express Centurion Card. Please step aside. [into headset] ~Security to mall entrance, please.~

<Arrives carrying an AK-47, M-16, a pair of Glocks, and several bandoleros of ammunition>

What seems to be the problem, sir?

This zombie needs to escorted to the undead area of the mall, thank you, security.

<Points, oh let's see, the M-16 at the zombie>

Move it, you!
.
.
.
Faster! I haven't got all day!

Aberzombie wrote:

Nordstrom wrote:

Even the angels know you're a has-been! Sir, step into our espresso bar and have a complimentary espresso drink as our piano soothes you into a purchasing trance...

No thanks. I hate espresso.

Sir, you seem to be confused again...I was talking to the gentleman with a heavenly credit rating and a Celestial Express Centurion Card. Please step aside. [into headset] ~Security to mall entrance, please.~

<Arrives carrying an AK-47, M-16, a pair of Glocks, and several bandoleros of ammunition>

What seems to be the problem, sir?

taig wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Heeellllpppppp Mmmeeeeeee!!!!!

Uh oh. You've either been transformed into a fly and a spider is menacing you, or...something else, I give up.

The...room....her...rrrooom...its....terrifying....traumatising....help me!

Warbirds are on their way, Lady Solnes!

Another vote for Paizoctober.

*BOOM*

The triffid has been destroyed, sir!

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

<Watches as the fire consumes everything and notices that Not that innocent's...flamethrower...is bouncing up and down while she jumps up and down>

You don't think the fire is going to spread too much, do you?

Well that depends on where I go next now doesn't it? So do you see anywhere you would like to go?

Er, uh, if only you were the, er, uh, right species. Yeah. Species.

<Watches as the fire consumes everything and notices that Not that innocent's...flamethrower...is bouncing up and down while she jumps up and down>

You don't think the fire is going to spread too much, do you?

Thanks...hey, is ass proscribed now?

And come to think of it, are you doing that because you're feeling useless, or guilty?

Useless.

Should I feel guilty about something?

<Sticks thumb in hole>

Y'know, I'd been feeling pretty useless lately, what with no other threads to attack. At least this way, I'll be doing something.

You'll have to figure out a way to manbirth.

That would get into some really weird eschatological areas...

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

*Gasp* *Wheeze*

Well son. We did it. We are the last folks on earth...... AW CRAP!! tell me you remembered to bring the girls!!!

<Blushes>

Erm, well, I, uh, well...

*Gasp* *Wheeze*

<Watches the unholy nuclear glow>

I love the smell of plutonium in the evening. It smells like victory.

3...2...

For boobs!

(Oops, we're doing the "Hollywood" countdown)

8...7...6...5...

10...

Yes, that would be every country in the world.

Prepping nukes! We're set to fire missiles at every country that we don't like.

Now where were we.

Oh yes. I put an 'O' in the left center. That will stop...

Damn!

I put an 'O' in the upper right. That'll stop your tic-tac-toe.

I put an 'O' in the upper middle section.

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Watch out, President Moorluck!

<Throws self in path of hail of bullet fire>

Which I completely hallucinated...

Hmmm... normally my pheremones cause... other... fantasies.

Too much kicking a**, not enough grabbing...

Wait, what? Is President Moorluck really dead?

This isn't some weird David Lynchian dreamscape where I'm going to find out later that I'm a waitress in Poughkeepsie, is it?

Watch out, President Moorluck!

<Throws self in path of hail of bullet fire>

Which I completely hallucinated...

Watch out, President Moorluck!

<Throws self in path of hail of bullet fire>

Lord Secretary of Kicking A** wrote:

Score!

And to think Mmy wife says no good would come from me singing. ;)

I'm sure she admires your other...attributes.

Score! Direct hit!

Again?

<Waits for the tearing of clothes>

Won't you say you love me too

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

We're a happy family

You love me

I love you

Misfire has a condition where a weapon can misfire if improperly cared for -
Misfire: Firearms that have been improperly cared for or subjected to unusual strain can misfire. If you attempt to fire a firearm that was used the previous day and that hasn’t been cleaned and maintained since then, attempt a DC 5 flat check before making your attack roll. If you fail this misfire check, the weapon misfires and jams. The attack also becomes a critical failure, and you must use an Interact action to clear the jam before you can reload and fire the weapon again. Once you’ve spent at least an hour cleaning and maintaining a weapon, you don’t need to roll for a misfire until the next day unless an effect says otherwise. A weapon can also misfire as a result of using a specific ability"

This seems to suggest that the Misfire is a condition of firing that gun until it is cleaned.

However, several feats can 'cause misfire' Such as Risky Reload
"You’ve practiced a technique for rapidly reloading your firearm, but it’s a dangerous gamble with your firearm’s functionality. Interact to reload a firearm, then make a Strike with that firearm. If the Strike fails, the firearm misfires. "

Does the Misfire in Risky Reload mean that the gun is "Jammed, until you take an interaction to clear it - as if you had misfired"
Or
the gun is "now under the misfire condition, and requires a DC 5 flat check to continue using until cleaned?"

Additionally: is the "Misfire" on the end of Risky Reload risk turning the previous 'failed Strike' into a Critical Failure Strike - as mentioned by failing a misfire flat DC in the misfire section?

So, I propose a new piece of equipment - In theme with how Shield Boss and Shield Spike modify an existing item;

Pommel - Can be attached to any Sword Family that does Slashing and/or Piercing. Adds 1 Bulk to the Weapon. Gives weapon Versatile (B)
Maybe swap between +1 Bulk and/or decrease the Versatile (B) strike dmg die one step?) - I would love an elaborate handle on a sword that you could use to bash, that wasn't tied to a class feature, feat, or locked out of already using a weapon. I think personally, the Bulk restriction is an adequate trade-off for bashing with a sword.

Thoughts?

I am currently leveling a Goblin Sorcerer (elemental - Fire Bloodline - (Primal)

I am looking for how the following interact -

Goblin Ancestry: Burn It! (BI!) : p48
Sorcerer Feat lvl 1: Dangerous Sorcery (DS) p198
Elemental (BM): p197
Staves (592)
Wands (597)

Things I know and Suspect:
() (BI!) and (DS) are both status bonuses, so you would only take the highest bonus for a given qualifying condition ;

()(BI!) specifies all spells and alchemical items (not other items such as staves), so it should apply to cantrips as well - whereas (DS) specifies spell slots. Burn It is fire damage only, while (DS) is all non duration elements.

() Since (BI!) is 1/2 spell level, but (DS) is full spell level; Where (DS) applies, it will be a better status bonus than (BI!).

()Elemental (BM) only applies to the spells you receive from the bloodline, but that includes the cantrip produce flame - since it is marked as a part of the asterisk, as well as burning hands, fireball, etc
Since it specifies either a self buff or a single target to take damage, I suspect its a separate (non status bonus) effect. ex. Produce Flame strikes a target, and I could apply Elemental (BM) to affect a separate target or the same target.

p592 Entry on staves seem to suggest the staff is almost a focus, and that the character casts the spell (makes sense as you already have to know the spell) - but also says it "can be affected by any modifications you can normally make while casting spells, such as meta magic feats". The Section on wands makes no such specifics to modifications, but does say "because you are the one casting the spell, use your attack roll and spell DC."
This suggests that things you could do should still apply to these spells, if all conditions are met. This suggests that (BI!) and (BM) may still apply to staves and wands, but since (DS) is linked to actually expelling a spell slot, it would not apply to staves and wands. It would then follow, that expending a spell slot and using charge(s) of the staff would fulfill the conditions of applying (DS) since you have spent the spell slot.
(Note: it seems really redundant for spontaneous spellcasters to expend spell slots of spells they could already cast and charges from a staff, but I understand the application of higher level non-signature spells being able to be 'heightened' by this method appropriately)

Example Assumptions: Lvl 3 goblin sorcerer - with Burn It ancestry, (DS) feat, Elemental Primal Fire bloodline, Just got his new Staff of Fire lvl 3. CHA 18 - +4 Mod Spell AR +9 ; DC 19 Cantrip lvl 2;
Bloodline Spells include Produce Flame and Burning Hands, the same as provided by the staff.

1st question: If (DS) and (BI!) both apply to a cast spell, (DS) has a bigger bonus and can/should be used, but could you also apply (BI!) to the +1 persistent Damage to that spell?

(I believe this question is entirely theoretical, as (DS) requires spell slots to be used, but there are no spell slot spells that deal persistent fire damage (Cantrips only), and wand of fireball does have persistent fire damage but doesn't qualify for (DS) for not burning a spell slot)

2nd question: Is casting 'from the staff' v casting originally considered:
(BM)? (suspect Yes)
(BI!) (suspect Yes)
(DS) (suspect No, unless spell slot expended)

3rd question: is casting 'from a wand' v casting originally considered:
(BM)? (maybe? if you have to supply components? but I don't think so)
(BI!) (suspect maybe, since its still 'your spell')
(DS) (No - No spell slot spent)

4th question: does (BI!) apply bonus damage to wands? would this include the persistent damage on the wand of smoldering fireballs?

Current Understanding:
Above lvl 3 sorcerer casts Burning Hands from his spell Slot:
Deals 2d6 fire damage plus 1 status bonus (as lvl 1 spell, (BI!) and (DS) both are +1) ; ((BM) Trips, allowing him to gain either +1 Intimidation or single target to take 1 fire dmg)

Above lvl 3 Sorcerer casts Burning Hands (H+1) from his spell slot, as signature spell:
Deals 4d6 fire damage, plus 2 (DS) > (BI!), (BM) Trips.

Casts burning hands with a staff charge:
2d6 +1 fire damage (BI!)
Casts burning hands with a staff charge and 2nd spell slot:
4d6 +2 fire damage (DS)