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They questioned my ethics at the Academy. They cancelled my research grant. They called me a monster for playing God. They laughed at me. But I showed those fools! BEHOLD!!! *Thunderclap* So who's laughing now?? **MWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!**
Yes, Your Evilness! We bought out Wal-Mart of all of the bars of Lava we could find and have thrown them all in the moat! We then hired a dozen of the finest pool sharks competing at the National Eight-Ball Championship—they're chalking their cues as we speak! Our order from Ritz Camera for fifty Canon EOS Rebels just shipped! And according to Instagram, the troops are really ejoying themselves at the Akron Auto Rally! MINIONS!! Unleash the Legions of Terror!
Minions, start a bar fight! Butterfinger seemed to be winning, but Snickers triumphed in the end! Minions! Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!
Hey, if any of you protesters need work, my Legions of Terror are always hiring!
Pfft. That cat was a pushover!
126. You don't have to worry about union rules for your Legion of Terror. 127. You can still put minions who displeased you to good use.
My ritual was almost complete, when we heard an odd roaring noise, and a blue box materialized. Two meddlers stepped out of the box, attempting to distract me with witty banter: a man with a long scarf and a young woman! This man used some kind of handheld artifact to stop the ritual, and he was resistant to my mind-control powers. Before I could kill them, they got away. I shall find out who that was, and where that box came from. No one defies Lord Deathface and lives!
Well, I tried to let the world end...but then this bloody annoying PARTY OF ADVENTURERS just showed up out of the blue and SAVED THE WORLD. *sigh* I hate it when that happens!! And I would wave gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
Do any of you have a young virgin I can borrow for the ritual sacrifice? Perhaps "borrow" is the wrong word... Mine seems to have escaped, and there are only 3 hours remaining until the Stars Are Right. Thanks!
Well, obviously, the Mayans totally had it wrong. Friday is the day I'm raising an army of the walking dead to enslave and/or consume the living.
Glorious awakening? No, Friday is when I raise my army of the walking dead. You've got your apocalypses all mixed up. Mr. Jacobs, what's your favorite imagined apocalypse? Robot uprising? Nuclear war? Asteroid impact? Envrionmental collapse? The Rapture? Return of the Great Old Ones? Something else entirely? BTW, I'd love to add an undead Tyrannosarus to my Legions of Terror. Give me a call...
I'll bring a platter of hors d'oeuvres... EVIL HORS D'OEUVRES!!! Mwah! Ha! Ha!
You called?
Yes... It's all a part of my cunning plan! MWAH-HA-HA! The next poster doesn't dare to oppose me!
I run from nothing. Things run from me. The next poster wants to join my Legion of Terror.
Punny Guy
Yes, well, let me leave a few applications in your brochure rack then...
Ah, greetings Misunderstood Monsters. I just wanted to let you know that I am seeking recruits for my Legion of Terror, and I have many openings for monsters of any type, misunderstood or no. The Legion has an excellent dental plan. (Oh, you can waive participation in the plan if you don't actually have teeth...) |
