Lander Vane's page

Lander is still under the effects of his Jump spell and will make an Aerial Charge, assuming he's within 15 feet of him. If you would allow me to use my rules as per our discussion last week, then please accept the following action...

Lander leaps into the air with his landing zone centered on the fleeing cock-sucker.

Leaps 15 feet vertically and 15 feet horizontally. Adds +2 to dmg and has advantage on attack, though enemies have advantage on attacks against him until his next turn.

WIS save to attack (DC 12): 1d20 + 2 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 2 + 5 = 14 PASS
Main Hand
atk wrist blade: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 + 2 = 6
atk wrist blade: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 + 2 = 6
Off Hand
atk wrist blade: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 + 2 = 5
atk wrist blade: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 + 2 = 6

DOES HE HIT!?!?!?

"Ah, nice to see some fire in ya, baby!" referring to Vedra.

"Now, lemme show you pussies how you cut a priest's head off..."

Lander leaps into the air toward the Zealot with is blades drawn and ready for blood.

Wis save: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

Atk @ Z: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24dmg: 1d6 + 1d6 + 2 + 1d4 ⇒ (2) + (6) + 2 + (2) = 12
Atk @ Z: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14dmg: 1d6 + 2 + 1d4 ⇒ (5) + 2 + (4) = 11

Lander augments his body that tightens his calves, hamstrings, and glutes.

Casts Jump.

He then flicks his wrists and two blades shoot out from his sleeves.

Thorn Whip @ Acolyte2: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23dmg: 1d6 ⇒ 2

The Acolyte2 moves 10ft closer to Lander as he is pulled from his supernatural whip o' thorns.

Agreeing with Kalyna's suggestion, Lander mutely calls Sirian over with a subtle wave of his hand.

"I think this might interest ya. Don't touch the bodies too much... I'm still sniffin' the air around them. These aren't our men, and they seem to have been killed a bit recklessly. I doubt one of ours did this.... Seems we're caught in the middle of a menage a trois."

"Safe assumption, doc. Lets say it's true, then only a f~&#ing retard would go the same path they went to reach the temple. Could be other 'special interests' are at work here."

Lander looks at the staring faces surrounding him with a s~*+-eating grin, having no remorse or embarrassment for what just happened.

"Hey now, folks. Nothin' wrong with askin'! 'Sides, that squat-porker looked like she could use some release." He stands up from the table and grabs a handful of his meal and gobbles it right out of his filthy hand. He then walks over to the bar and grabs that bottle of Oshe Vahn and heads for his quarters.

"Ya know where my chambers are, porky..."

"Finally! Time for some f~~&ing action!"

Int(Nature): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Lander stands from his seat and walks over to Alaxador. He gives him a massive handshake as he gestures to Kalyna.

"I suppose I should thank you for the new colleague. You done good by me, chief." On his way out, he grabs another handful of bacon off of the platter and stuffs it in his mouth. He licks the grease off of his fingers and gives the captain a nudge on the chest. "Gotta tell ya, boy-scout. I think I'm in love. No finer meat in this city. What with all the old prunes walking about. That's some ripe fruit." He gives a sinister chuckle and walks out of the door.

I laughed so hard that some spit came out. Thank you for the brilliant quest title.

"A simple 'lets roll' would do, boy-scout." says Lander in a cocky tone.

Lander raises his coffee cup in the air as if to toast the doctor.

"Miss Smarts... One less task to take care of. We done 'ere?"

Lander could not take his eyes off of Kalyna during the entire briefing. His brunch plate consisted of nothing but meat and eggs, and as he ate he still didn't take his eyes off of her. She of course noticed this. At first she was flattered, but now she felt a little uneasy.

He composed himself and thought of a very articulate comment.

"Cute speech, doc. More importantly, how the f+** do we destroy it? Do we have to unearth some ancient magical Karuvian dildo to ram it to smithereens?"

Kalyna let out an abrupt and obvious chuckle at the comment. Though she quickly quieted herself in order to remain somewhat professional.

"Yup. F~+@ed her, too." ~ Lander gloating to his colleagues.

"TIME TO FRRYYYYYYY SOME TURKEYS!"