I’ve been needing to make this announcement for over two weeks, and I just don’t want to do it. As much as this game has sputtered, I really do love it.
But I have to face reality.
When I started this session, I had a very different home and family life, and very different stressors to complicate my abilities to deliver the adventure.
Reluctantly, I have to conclude that the family and work stress—from taking in a teenage family member into our home, to my husband losing his job of eighteen years, to the passing of our dear pug at seventeen and a half (and the health decline that accompanied it)—has resulted in my own health and well-being being compromised.
I have a huge list of tasks in any given day and I used to juggle those with only occasional difficulty. Lately though, this game, as much as I love it, is one of the things that I can’t bring myself to get to. It’s not just a time issue. My social anxiety, usually confined to in person interactions, has escalated to include social media and internet interactions, and so while I might spend hours making tokens for the game and getting the map just right for the impending barroom brawl (which I have), I am currently not capable of taking the step to get that online, to post the interactions, and to be social and role play.
I am no longer meaningfully recovering the energy that allows me to be social and deal with people. That has occasionally happened to me in my life, but never to such a degree that even online interactions, usually the lowest of low stress, were implicated.
I was really impressed with the quality of you all as a group.
Finlogan: You were reliable, and showed sparks of roleplay that made me really excited for this adventure. As a healthy fighter with arcane talent, you were the ideal recruit for the Living God, and I was looking forward to that interplay.
Venssa: You played in character perfectly, coming up with actions that made perfect sense for a gnome and a druid that I was never quite prepared for. It was refreshing and I always looked forward to your understated contributions.
Hansyn: You showed an ability to really play with a character’s background and especially after Rankev returned, I thought we had some really great opportunities. I wish we’d been able to explore those more.
Rankev: You managed to be an instigator and verbose and it was wonderful. I missed you after your departure from the first adventure, and I was looking forward to seeing you here.
Lodric: Man, this was an interesting character, and seeing how Lodric would react to the agents of the Living God, especially as a clerk who wasn’t anxious for bloodshed or fighting? That had me so anxious to see that happen.
You were great players. I wish I could continue. But right now I can’t even guarantee a weekly post, and that’s not fair to any of you.
I am, with reluctance, shutting the game down.