Kixzik's page

Don't stop on my account. Clearly I think the puzzles are idiotic, but that's my problem. If you feel it's disruptive, which is perfectly fine, feel free to kick me and keep playing with the others.

Not if the rooms are identical.

4-2-1 until we exit.

Take 20 for all rolls that come up.

Knowledge (Arcana) 41
Knowledge (Dungeoneering) 35
Knowledge (Planes) 36
All other Knowledges 34
Perception 40
Spellcraft 38

Reflex: 1d20 + 13 ⇒ (8) + 13 = 21

You all can just discuss any future moves without me then.

F~&#. THAT. One is the right answer.

Kixzik will.

In Ignan The answer is one!

In case it needs us to declare the right answer in Ignan.

10 halved is five. Five times three plus one is sixteen. Then eight then four then two then one. This is a math problem. It's a famous math problem.

Oh this is a bunch of nonsense. THE ANSWER IS ONE! Two becomes one. Four becomes two becomes one. Three becomes sixteen becomes eight, becomes two, becomes one.

Guys, come on, door 1. It's a math problem. It always reduces to 1.

Kixzik opens the door under 1.

Turning back to Seif, Kixzik will continue.

I'm not doubting the existence of concomitant ambient energies since we have proved that such fields exist. I merely point out that "magic," as it is commonly known, is a primitive reaction to natural phenomena. The idea that you can only harness these energies by primitive rituals, weird clothing and secret towers in the wilderness are the obsessions of the ancients and have no more place in a rational person's mind than the idea that the movement of planets influences the outcomes of a person's life.

Besides, if this energy is somehow not able to be channeled through "mere" flesh and bone how do you explain the existence of wizards, who can channel these energies through words and gestures in a set pattern learnable by anyone willing to spend the time to do so? It is not as if you have to have a precise bloodline to do so.

He'll pull out a small slate and chalk and start scribbling equations, turning the slate around to show a complex chain of numbers, letters and what looks an awful lot like a cartoon explosion at the end.

And besides, the Proteans prove the parallelity of dimensions! Look, they seek to fundamentally alter dimensional space to reach a similar state as the proto-order that exists in the Maelstrom, which as you're no doubt aware, exerts its influence only when energies passing through the convergences in the wavelengths which results in randomness approaching one!

Kixzik will peer carefully at the slippers to make sure they are not, in fact, twitching.

Churley, I want you to try something.

Fumbling in his bag he pulls out a small vial labeled in Goblin.

This is something I came across while trying to invent a cure for hay fever, and it's something that can help you.

Do, um, other things talk to you Churley? Are your shoes telling you anything for instance?

Ah, you're using an archaic sense of the word, plus it's not generally true! Cutting edge alchemical science has proved that the planes actually exist in parallel, merely on various wavelengths that occasionally intersect. This is why portals open and proved the basis for more primitive scientific methods like "magic," and on the word magic he uses air quotes, to harness these energies. Nonetheless, they are not true universes as they cannot experience expansion based on the Big Reaction, nor can they eventually approach the Big Fizzle or Heat Death.

Kixzik will reach back into his bag.

I'd be happy to take you through the equations proving this if you'd like. Um, do you have a grounding in multi-dimension trans-calculus? If not, I could loan you a book.

Kixzik does!

Seif, please! The multiverse is a terrible description for the panoply of dimensions that exist. Causality prevents there being more than one actual universe, no matter how tempting it is to think of a universe where only the right things happen.

Rebuilt and updated! I took the Extra Discovery feat for frost bombs, making Kixzik both versatile and hilarious.

Can't wait for fast bombs at alchemist 7.

Not off hand, but I can think about it...hmmm...there's a preparation method to concentrate a gas I've discovered which I call nitrogen - it's a non-reactive gas that comprises as much as eighty percent of the atmosphere!

Kixzik will reach into his bag and pull out his travelling blackboard, which improbably folds out to four times his size.

He'll begin writing a series of equations in reverse goblin notation. They are incomprehensible but include what look a lot like a crooked "E" and a not-quite-right S as well as a number of parentheticals and what looks to you like an eight on its side.

Now, normally I need a large contraption to make it along with a harnessed wind elemental, but if - if - I were to modify my arcanical concentration engine contained within my gauntlet, I might perhaps be able to make it much smaller. Yes! An ice mephit, contained within a tiny compartment might be able to draw in and...

You're pretty sure Kixzik is now completely mad, as he's talking about distilling liquid air which is just plain nuts, since air isn't liquid at all.

He goes on for quite a while, finishing with a declarative statement.

So yes it's possible but I'm missing a key ingredient. More research is needed! Oh, why is there never enough time?!

Long story short, I need a sixth level in Alchemist until my next discovery.

Sadly my computer hard drive is now kaput, and so I cannot retrieve my old Hero Lab files - and for some reason the download page for Hero Lab is not working.

I can rebuild the file, eventually, once the download is back up. Apologies.

While stabbing people does solve a surprisingly high number of problems, attacking creatures made of fire may not be effective in this instance. Seif, Zephyr; do you have any thoughts?

Kixzik will spend his day working feverishly in the Protean labs with calculations on the amount of energy needed to unlock the scroll completely and what possible effects this might mean for Katapesh.

He will also relentlessly quiz the Proteans on the efreeti, expecting them to be at work in the city and nation and causing, well, problems. Since Katapesh is a linchpin of his newest strategy for World Conquest this is a terrible situation.

He'll also talk to his companions regarding this issue.

I wonder if you have considered how to deal with the efreeti once we escape?

I'll take another level of alchemist, sorry but won't have the updated character sheet until this afternoon.

Kixzik looks at the bunny slippers and sighs.

Yes, that would be ideal.

Well, time to go back to the Proteans then, since we've met their conditions for success. Unless someone has a better idea?

A goblin for all seasons.

Updated! AC 30, finally!

I'd grab the ring of protection, dog figurine and bottle of air until we get out if it's OK with everyone.

Do the circlet, coffin bowls and marbles, and medallion count as art objects?

Take 20 on Perception for 40 to find traps on the coffer.

If none take 20 to open the lock for 46.

Kixzik will check to make sure Spooky is OK.

I never realized I take front-line fighters for granite. We need a bigger meat-shield.

Perception: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (8) + 19 = 27

Kixzik will hit himself with his wand of cure light wounds

Kixzik will back up as far as he can and drink his extract of cure moderate wounds.

Cure Moderate Wounds: 2d8 + 4 ⇒ (4, 5) + 4 = 13

Can't see the map at work, so move me if you can? And I thinking I'm at 25/84. Question - did my buffs disappear or are they still in play?

That's stone cold.

Constitution: 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 3 - 2 = 11

Curses, I'll update that. Must have forgot since it always centers on the map itself.

We are. Sadly Kixzik is a mindchemist instead of a beastmorph. At the time of creation we had two melee characters, Churley and Arthur.

Will Save: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17

Whew

Damn skanks, you put glitter on everything. This isn't a dance hall!

Attack (Acid Bomb): 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (10) + 16 = 26
Damage (Acid Bomb): 4d6 + 9 ⇒ (4, 5, 5, 5) + 9 = 28

Damage (Acid Bomb, Lingering): 1d6 ⇒ 3

Kixzik will whip out his Goblin's Army Tool, transform it into a crowbar as well and help Seif. Disturbingly, the goblin seems much stronger than the Paladin when making the attempt.

Strength: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 6 + 2 = 25

Elvis would have escaped with the efreeti anyhow - he's a hunk-a hunk-a burning love after all!

Why would a king of the Shoanti be trapped in this realm?

Perception: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (11) + 19 = 30 +1 for traps

Farethewell Beatrice!

Kixzik will give Spooky a ration as a treat.

Don't worry, Spooky. Soon we'll be out of here and then - the worl- Kixzik coughs the worries of this place will be behind us. Yes. Yes, that's it precisely.

Who is Elvis? Some sort of Shoanti tutelary diety?

Perception: 1d20 + 19 ⇒ (13) + 19 = 32

Any traps that I can detect?

Why not?

Well, to be honest we haven't seen him that I recall. I don't suppose he's hanging around here, is he?

I suppose a million gold coins in a pocket dimension and a ticket out of Kakison would be too much to ask?

Kixzik nods absentmindedly.

Our immediate help would be getting out of this, um, cavern. Is your fellow quite...sane?

Kixzik will announce as loudly as possible in Auran.

You have nothing to fear from us, we were sent by your leader to free you!

Listen you, there are only so many acid puns and they all involve bases.

Kixzik will climb down and agree.

Let's hope he's not, you know, insane.

Obviously excluding my companions squares from the attack.

Kixzik will cheerfully throw another acid bomb into the most weakened creature.

Attack (Acid Bomb): 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (6) + 16 = 22
Damage (Acid Bomb): 4d6 + 9 ⇒ (4, 2, 3, 3) + 9 = 21

Lingering Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 6

Take this acid! All your base are belong to us, so it's the least I can do!

At the beginning of the next round, Kixzik will look at the lingering acid damage and say...

Something's eating away at you, I can tell.

Attacking the nearest guardian, excluding any of his companions and the statue from the blast.

Kixzik with the windup and the pitch!

Attack (Acid Bomb): 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (10) + 16 = 26
Damage (Acid Bomb): 4d6 + 9 ⇒ (1, 5, 2, 6) + 9 = 23

If I get sneak attack add...

Sneak Attack: 2d6 ⇒ (3, 2) = 5

And anyone hit takes...

Acid Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 2 Next Round