J.H. "Trader" Slick's page

Terribly sorry, but three "wise men" bought my entire supply on their journey to Israel.

How about setting me up with some Mozzarella?

*Throws a flowerpot at Vidmaster7.*

Stay out of my stock cupboard!

*Glares furiously.*

Honestly, if there's one thing that I (J. Helajibus Slick) cannot tolerate, it's people who poke around where there not wanted!

*Stops selling a potential customer a golden fleece (or at least, a gold coloured fleece).*

Hello again, my lucky ducks. How's your little adventure going?

*As everyone departs.*

Well, goodbye and good luck to you now. Enjoy using that card and remember: with J. Hadamicus Slick, satisfaction is guaranteed!

Tell you what, how about I give you the "Get Out of Danger Free" card in exchange for you NOT to sing.

Jubanji: a Caribbean tale of voodoo, banjos and bungie jumping!

Hey now, don't you lot forget about me!

*Pulls out a small object from coat pocket.*

Can I interest you in a genuine, one of a kind, "Get Out of Danger Free" card?

*Sees everyone's excited faces.*

Yes sire bob, this card allows its holder to get out of danger free! There is just one catch...

*Everyone starts asking what is the catch.*

It's not free! So, how much are you willing to pay for this priceless little beauty?

Maybe, but I'd have to charge double.

*Chuckles a little.*

Personally, I use a coffee pot, that way I get to say: "caffeine'll kill ya!".

Cheater!? Sir, you cut me to the quick!

Why the name "Slick" is synonymous with honesty.

Yes sire bob, I've got integrity in spades (or clubs, or whatever you like).

Now, now, I was just quoting ye age old rhyme:

"Nik-nak, paddy whack, give the dog a bone!"

What's that? You haven't got a dog?

*Presents a cute puppy to everyone.*

Then perhaps, I can interest you in an Australian Shepherd?

*As the puppy sees Kat's Eye, the little darling chases the cat, into a giant ant's nest (where they both get eaten).*

Um, OK then. Tell you what, as a good will gesture, I'll let you have the latest issue of 'Rampant Housemaids' free of charge!

*Gives Comte de Malodor the magazine, as he successfully frees himself from the tusk (only to get caught in another bear trap).*

Perhaps, I, can be of assistance?

*A large shop appears out of nowhere.*

The name's "professor" J. Hyronimus Slick, procurer of oddities, antiquities and rarities, at your service.

*Shows everyone my wares.*

I've got geegors, whirly gigs, thing am a bobs, doohikies, nik-naks, paddy whacks, and if you bring your dog around, I'll give em a bone!