Its "A" Dungeon Minion, too's page

The minion smiles at Niversal, and gives him a little wink, saying, Nice.

She then turns her full attention to Zaehyra, and after nodding a couple of times, she says, That does sound important. Unfortunately Lady Dupree is currently getting ready for the Hecaton Gala, that big party at the Museum of Modern Art. I don't believe she'd take it lightly if she were disturbed right now. Her dress, I understand, was designed by Luni Jaspoll herself and it is going to take a lot to put it all together and get her to the Gala on time.

If you are referring to Miss Synawiddle, she is on the second floor, in studio G, I think.

“Hello, um, what was your groups name again?” she says as she examines a few sheets of paper on the clip board. ”I don’t see any appointments schedule for a group like yours. If you are here to begin your assignment, the Dungeon Minion would have known and been prepared to meet you. Is there something I can assist you with today?”

Bud, Imreal, something has happened to Ruul and Tofutee. Beast was watching them on the tracking display and they vanished. We are sending you some help. Get back to the Lugubrious Wizard as fast as you can, your new allies will be waiting there for you, they are a dwarf, a dark elf, a human woman, and a pale elf. They will be looking for you.

I’m certainly not going to tell you how to do your job, the minion states turning away from Tofutee, and looking more closely at the two companions she indicates.

When the baconling mentions the performance review, she smiles and says

Actually I’m with human resources, which is sort of a funny department, since none of us are humans, and I don’t think anyone we are responsible for checking up on is technically human either, but it’s a term the Lich-Baroness likes to use, often, when reminding us of our responsibilities. I don't know exactly what I should about your new friends, but I was given instructions to find your team, and make this proposal. You two I recognize, and you are with them, so they are either part of your team, or not, that's up to you to decide

As to the Solution Society, and their, home turf, yes, well, we have reason to believe that as long as you do not make a point of showing anyone you meet that you know about them, and their affiliation with the IRS, there shouldn’t be any problem with, well, anything you might do to their agents, other than setting them up to form new teams who might then go looking for you, but as long as they don’t know who you are working for, and you keep pretending you don’t know who they are working for,

She pauses for a moment, and her expression seems to indicate that even she is getting a bit confused,

everything should be fine, she says with a shrug.

You see, as I understand it, the regular members of the Solution Society, there in that world, don’t know they are part of the IRS, and they want to keep that a secret as much as It’Dupree wants to keep her investigation into this mirror a secret from them. It’s all convoluted, shadow operations and double espionage sorts of subterfuge, but I think you’ll be okay causing as much mayhem as you feel inclined to create. After all, you’ll only be drawing attention to yourself and making the job harder, the more attention you call, so you know, use your own discretion.

The fist thing to do, is find out where the mirror is, exactly, as we only know it is somewhere in this village, and that the Solution Society is on the move to deal with it, so, if you find tie agents, and you know don’t immediately kill them, you could get a fix on the mirror quickly, and then you can access it once you know the situation, whether it is being guarded or protected by some agent we don’t know about

The minion follows the conversation of the group, with a pleasant enough smile, and when Tofutee mentions having “some dirt’ on a minion, she chuckles, and nods in agreement.

When Tofutee asks about the Solution Society, and the IRS, she frowns.

Yes, we have extensive intelligence on the Society. However, It’Dupree has made several contractual agreements with beings not only of this plane, the prime material plane, but with the Plannar Lords of several different alternative planes of existence. Part of one of those contracts forbids us from divulging too much about the Society, and their mission, here on this world. Though I understand that there may be a renegotiation soon, as things progress on Garicadia, to the west, where right now the balance of secrets of this world might be about to become upset, permanently.

We we do know. And what will be important for you to know if you take this mission. Is that the mirror is not yet secure. The Solution Society is going to try to secure the mirror themselves, but It’Dupree believes they do not know the full extent of the mirror’s properties. She wants you to find the mirror, without completely upsetting or interfering too much with the Societies plans. Find the mirror, get inside of it, learn what you can, and then, well, get out. That’s all you need to do.

When she is through with this explanation, she moves closer to Bud, and whispers into his ear

I can’t offer you unlimited ale, but if, when you make it back, I can point you to a couple of my favorite places, and maybe the drinks will be on me for a night or two, and we can get to know each other better.

There you are, she says in an exhale of breath. I’ve been looking, well she’s been looking all over for you. Though you aren’t exactly what I remember. Wait, the bacon-ling, and the wizard are familiar, but I don’t recognize the three of you. Anyway, I have an important message, and offer of a critical assignment from the Lich Baroness It’Dupree.

The minion takes a small, thin black box out of her pants pocket and holds it up to her face.

Gah, she exclaims. The reception here is terrible, wait, she moves to the wall to her left and shoves on a block of stone and the wall opens into a chamber.

She looks into the chamber, and then waves at all of you to follow her
Let’s step into this control room and see if it is any better, she says thinking you are following her.

Do you follow her?

Once you have entered the control room, the first thing you see is a familiar Portal like structure on the wall opposite the secret door you came through. The other two walls are occupied with filling cabinets, and a pair of desks. A pair of familiar looking “Trap Imps” are sitting at the desks, and are busy at small books making detailed notes.

All right, here’s the ‘sitch’, the Dungeon minion says,

A few centuries ago, just after the Lich Baroness freed the city from the Necromechadon slash Goblin invaders, It’Dupree learned of a collection of artifacts that might have a clue to freeing her from her prison.

These artifacts is are, or were, a special type of mirror that allows a person to travel between the material plane of existence and an alternative plane, one we know little about. However, It’Dupree believed that the existence of this alternative plane of existence could hold answers to how this pocket dimension was created here in Du’Orbna. When It’Dupree began sending out employees to track down the mirrors, in the hope of exploring the pocket dimension or plane they accessed, word spread rapidly of her intentions, and this was well before the time when the people of the rest of the world finally understood It’Dupree’s plight and her condition, and naturally, suspecting that she was a monster bent on destroying the world, which I can assure you is not her plan, hero’s set out on quests to thwart her ambitions.

She moves to a filing cabinet, and taps the small, thin black box against the top drawer. She pauses for a moment, the file cabinet rattles violently, and then the top drawer opens, and an imp stands up in the drawer and hands the minion a file.

The Dungeon Minion opens the file, takes a pair of sexy reading glasses out of her shirt pocket and reads from the file

Six of seven possible mirrors were destroyed or confiscated by heroes intent on saving the world from It’Dupree’s nefarious intentions, She looks up at the five of you and says I’m reading from the Aeromnian Herald Star, a popular newspaper in circulation some four hundred years ago

She then looks back at the file, The seventh mirror was never located, and it is believed its location is protected from all manner of discovery by a powerful demon lord.

She closes the file, and moves to stand by the portal, where she places the slim, black box in a recessed slot on the side of the portal.

Or so they assumed. You see, by contacting various dimension travelling entities over the past centuries, It’Dupree has finally learned of the location of the seventh mirror.

She taps the side of the portal in a special code
*shave and a haircut, two bits*

And the portal glows with an image of a small, quaint village.

Somehow the mirror was transported off of this world and taken to another world of the material plane, to a place called, Alodoa, in a country called Harrispania. Now, normally, it’Dupree would send Victor, or Angela, to scout the location and determine the circumstances of the mirrors condition, and then hire a group of local heroes to retrieve the mirror and explore the pocket dimension on the other side of it, but, this is not a normal situation. Harrispania is home of a particularly troubling organization known throughout the planes of existence as the Solution Society, oh they keep a low profile on that world, and brand themselves as a small time operation dedicated to taking simple tasks, selling themselves as heroes for hire, but off that world everyone knows they are a mercenary organization of the Interplanetary Relief Society, a right problematic sort of people who simply cannot be reasoned with. And It’Dupree prefers reason to practically every other form of conflict resolution.

This is where you come in. You’ve shown yourselves to be competent, dogged, rugged individualists who have no qualms about getting rid of anything, or anyone who stands in your way. It’Dupree admires this quality and is perfectly comfortable overlooking any complications of such things as moral arguments of good against evil.

She steps back away from the portal, and goes once again to the file cabinet, kicks it hard on the side, it rattles violently, and the top drawer opens again. A different imp stands up in the top drawer holding a small wooden box.

In fact, the priority, always the priority for the Lich Baroness, is lifting the curse on this city. This and only this is It’Dupree’s desire. What information can be learned from the world beyond the mirror may turn out to be the key. To learn this information, It’Dupree is prepared to send four of you through this portal, to Harrispania. You will be given these magic bracelets.

She opens the wooden box to reveal four silver bracelets. The bracelets are about one inch wide, have a complex clasp mechanism, and are engraved with three dimensional representations of the platonic solids.

One of you will remain here, by this portal, and will monitor the other’s progress, and will be given this icosahedron of summoning.

She then removes a small crystal from her pants pocket. She walks to the other side of the portal and opens a small compartment.

Placing this crystal into this hole will return the wearer’s of those bracelets from the other side of this portal immediately. As long as nothing more powerful acts to block the magic as it crosses the dimensional barriers.

In return for your accepting this task, which includes keeping precise notes on everything you can learn about this mirror and the pocket dimension beyond it, It’Dupree will grant you each a lifetime annual payment of fifty thousand gold pieces, which will be adjusted for inflation based upon a quadrennial review. In addition, you will each receive season tickets to the Alagoth Theater, and coupons for fifty percent off regular admission to all It’Dupree Seafood Buffet and Comedy Playhouse Canteens, during the off season only.

I hope you will take this mission, and I hope you will discover something that can help lift this curse. As a Dungeon Minion, we all hope you succeed, as there is a commission for the team of Minions that first discovers the secret to It’Dupree’s conf… I mean the curse that traps this city.

Finally, and this is probably the most important part of the mission. One of the Books of it’Dupree is also on this world. It was sent there for safe keeping. It is Book III, of the Books of It’Dupree, and is most likely kept in a hiding place only the Solution Society knows about. If you should discover that this book is accessible to you, if you can get to it, you will have a direct means of communicating directly with It’Dupree herself.

Will you accept this mission?

Well,The Minion glares at your group each in turn, I hope you’re happy with yourselves. She lifts the clip board high in the air and angrily taps it with the fingers of her other hand

You didn’t register, did you? And you don’t have bracelets, do you? So that means you cannot use an ATM to get out of the Dungeon. AND on top of all that, I have the unhappy job of bouncing all over the universe letting some teams know that we are experiencing technical difficulties with the portals, due to the high rate of translocation randomization that Abigail tried to add to these temporary portals.

The Dungeon Minion tries to straighten her hair, as she looks back at the portal, and eyes it up and down and left and right while murmuring

mmmm, hmmmm, mmmmm, hmmmmm

She spins around suddenly and throws her arms out wide, announcing

Well, that’s that. I have no idea where you are, or even when you are, so, um, well, good luck

And then she disappears.

When Ballar is done, being a little worried about the parties next move, and he begins to move away from the kiosk, he is approached by a short, human looking woman with dark hair, dark glasses, wearing a long dark coat, and not much else, she whispers at Ballar

Look, buddy, I got your permits and licenses right here, good for the next month. Only five gold pieces each. One for you and all your friends

Ballar can pay the Minion for the, *ahem* permits and licenses. I’m pretty sure they are just as good as the real ones

She is wearing her official “referee’s” outfit, and she blows her whistle hard and long, then holds up her hands and shouts, ”Sub”

Gronx the Strix, looks left, then right, and then points to himself with a questioning look on his face. It’s Dungeon minion nods, in the affirmative, and Gronx suddenly vanishes in a puff of acrid blue smoke.

Then a Dog team pulling a wheeled, small, but ornate carriage appears at the southern end of the hall, next to the remains of the big bug, and a Goblin Girl steps out. She looks around, almost as if she is bewildered by the sights around her, and then the carriage and dogs turn and dash away.

It’s Dungeon Minion, blows once, a short sharp sound, on the whistle, and then says, ”Play On”

She smiles and says to the ceiling, ”Did I do that right?”

And a voice from above that sounds feminine, but low and sultry says, ”You’re improving”

And then the minion disappears leaving the Goblin girl standing alone

“Ah, yes here they are. Now this is the team of monsters I’ve been telling you about, please introduce yourselves and join them on their quest to rid the dungeon of unauthorized visitors, have a great day, and please remember to visit the gift shop while looking for the exit.”

As the mist is clearing, a provocatively dressed, tiny, winged woman with red hair and black nails is seen, momentarily, leaning in the northeast corner of the room. She has a magazine in her hands, and she is flipping the pages absentmindedly. The cover of the magazine reads, “Minion’s Quarterly; fashion, entertaining, and tips for the working woman”

She notices that the mist is clearing, but that the party is still standing around.

She sighs, heavily, and states, “Just leave that there, we’ll take care of it,” and then lifts a small black box to her mouth and speaks into it, “Clean up, level three, Basilisk chamber, bring mops.”

And then vanishes.