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![]() mid afternoon. If you want to pass out for a day, feel free, but you might want to retcon that to hang with the party Graalsk considers Makena's request. "YEAH, KEEP DAT ONE. YOU FEED HIM GOOD, TREAT NICE. IF PROBLEM, YOU BRING BACK, SAY YOU FIX HIM HURTS. IF NO PROBLEM, KEEP FOR WORKS! GREAT CHIEF THINK DAT UP. MAKE GREAT CHIEF TIRED. GO GET MY SWORD!" With that, the enormous goblin turns and retreats into his 'castle' attended by his wenches. you can do this job, keep exploring, or whatever else you'd like Makena finds the human slave sobbing quietly at the edge of the brambles. He appears to have tried to force his way out and suffered greatly from the thorns in the process. ![]()
![]() Great Chief Graalsk isn't impressed with Okki. "YOU ONE DUMB GOB IF YA THINK YA CAN GO AFTER YUNAR. HE GOT REAL SNEAKY LONGSHANKS EVERYWHERE WATCHIN' STUFF. YOU LISTEN TO GREAT CHIEF - ONE DAY I CUT HIS THROAT OUT AN' WEAR HIS HEAD FOR A HAT. TILL THEN, KEEP YER DAMN HANDS OUTTA HIS BIZNIS 'LESS YOU WANNA END UP STABBED. MIVON BE WAY TO EAST, HORSE-HUMPER! TAKE MANY WEEKS TO TRAVEL THERE. I THINK YOU DUMB AN' NOT LEARN LONGSHANKS TALK GOOD ENUFF. GIMME MY GOLD AN' GIT OUT O' MY SIGHT!" As he accepts Vonk's offering, Graalsk beams. "WE GOT ONE GOB WHAT UNNERSTANDS PLAIN TALK, AT LEAST! YOU DOIN' GOOD - KEEP ON DOIN'." Graalsk consider's Makena's rat, shrugs, and shoves it down his pants. "YEAH, DIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR TODAY. IF'N YA SAW BIGGANTS, YA PROLLY WERE AT DAT LONGSHANK B$%%%'S FARM INNA WEST OF TOWN. GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK BEEN MAKE THINK ABOUT BUY DAT FROM LONGSHANK. FIGGER OUT HOW TO MAKE ANT BEHAVE AN' YOU GET REWARD! AN STOP TAKIN' SLAVES! BRAMBLECLAW NOT BAD ENOUGH TA MOVE OPENLY YET." As he considers the new arrivals, he waves a flabby arm in your direction. "MEBBE YOU BE GOOD BRAMBLECLAW, MEBBE NOT. YOU BRING GREAT CHIEF FIVE SHINIES EACH DAY, YOU GOOD BRAMBLECLAW" "NOW, LISTEN THE BUTT UP CUZ I GOT GOOD JOB FOR YOU!" The Great Chief rubs his hands together furiously. "DERE BE SOME OL' TUNNELS AN STUFF UNNER THE BIG STONE HOUSE IN MIDDLE OF TOWN. GREAT CHIEF HEAR SOME RUMER ABOUT MAGIC GOB SWORD FROM LONGTIME AGO STUCK DOWN IN TUNNELS. YOU NEW BRAMBLECLAWS AND NEW NEW BRAMBLECLAWS GONNA GO GET! BRING BACK OLD GOB SWORD FOR YER GREAT CHIEF! HELP TRIBE GET OLD MAGICS BACK, EARN PRIZE FOR YOU! TUNNELS START IN NORTH HILL SIDE OF BIG STONE HOUSE, NOW GIT OUT AN' GET ME MY SWORD!" ![]()
![]() "HUH, YOU GOBS BEEN BUSY TODAY. NEW GOBS BACK ALREADY? HOPE YA GOT SUMMIT TA SHOW FER YER WORK. REMEMBER! EACH GOB GOTTA BRING BACK FIVE SHINY GOLD COINS AN' SOME FOOD EACH DAY OR YA GO IN SOUP POT. HAH! THERE'S TWO-FANG AGAIN. HE GOT NEW NEW GOBS? VENKLEVORE'S SWINGIN' BALLS YOU FIND A LOTTA NEW GOBS. YOU FIND SOME GOB TRIBE INNAWOODS AN' BRING 'EM IN THREE BY THREE FOR ME? BEST NOT HOLD OUT ON GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. ALRIGHT, SOUND OFF! NEW GOBS, WHAT YOU GET DONE? NEW NEW GOBS, WHO YOU BE? GET TALKIN! MY SOUPDRINK'S GETTIN' COLD AN' I MIGHT HAVETA FIRE UP A NEW POT!" ![]()
![]() SHADDAP, LONGSHANKS SLAVE! I TALKING NOW! 'EY GOBBOS! LISSEN UP! I GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. BADDEST GOB WHAT EVER SWUNG A SLICER! I GREAT CHIEF OF DA BRAMBLECLAWS! WE BADDEST GOB CLAN! YOU WANNA BE A BRAMBLECLAW? LISSEN UP! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT SMARTS AND FASTS AND STRONGS WHAT ADD UP TO YER FINGERS AND YER TOES PUT TOGETHER. ANY MORE THAN THAT AN' YOU CHEATIN! ANY LESS'N THAT AN' YOU AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A BRAMBLECLAW! MOST BRAMBLECLAWS BE GOBLINS! WE OKAY WITH OTHER KINDS TOO THOUGH! FROG TYPES, HOB-GOB, KO-BOLD, WHATEVER! NO LONGSHANKS THOUGH! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT WHAT LONGSHANK WIZARD CALLS "TRAITS!" YOU GOT THREE OF 'EM! ONE GOT TO BE CUZ OF YER RACE! IF YOU A GOB AND YOU AINT GOT GOB TRAITS, YOU AINT A BRAMBLECLAW! IF YOU A KO-BOLD AN YOU GOT A GOB TRAIT, YOU WEIRD BUT GOOD! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT SKILLS TOO! SMARTEST BADDEST GOBS! EVERY SINGLE BRAMBLECLAW GOBBO GOTS TO BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHIN! MAKE SLICER, COOK LONGSHANKS, WEAVE BASKET UNDERWATER, WHATEVER! WE AINT GOT ROOM FOR GOBBOS WHAT CANT DO STUFF. HEY! QUIT CRYIN! BRAMBLECLAWS REAL SMART PANTS GOBS WHAT GOT ONE EXTRA SKILL EVERY WHAT WIZARD CALL "LEVEL". USE DAT FOR BASKET WEAVIN! BRAMBLECLAWS REAL GOOD AT CLIMBIN' AN SWIMMIN'! BRAMBLECLAWS DO BOTH WITH NEW SKILL CALLED "Athletics"! ATHLETICS COUNT FOR BOTH CLIMBIN AN SWIMMIN AN' IF YOU GOOD AT ONE YOU GOOD AT BOTH! BRAMBLE CLAWS START WIFF THE REGULAR 'MOUNT OF SHINYS WHAT IS USUAL! BRAMBLECLAWS CAN BE ALL KINDS OF GOBS! FIGHTAN GOBS, WIZARD GOBS, SNEAKIN GOBS, WHATEVER! LONGSHANKS WIZARD NAMED "JAMES OF THE JAY CUBS" GOT A STACK OF DEVIL BOOKS WHAT TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF GOB YOU CAN BE. IF IT AINT IN THEM DEVIL BOOKS YOU CANT BE IT! DONT READ THEM BOOKS! ASK JAY CUBS WHAT YOU BE! WHATS A 'JAY CUB'? SHADDAP! LISSEN UP! GOBS BE REAL BAD! SOME TIMES GOBS DO BAD THINGS OR SAY BAD WORDS WHAT MAKE LONGSHANKS GIRL TURN RED! IF YOU CANT HANDLE THAT YOU DUMB AND AINT A BRAMBLECLAW! NOW SOUND OFF WHAT KIND OF GOBS YOU BE, YA FAT FACED HORSE HUMPERS! standard 20 point buy. monstrous races only. three traits - one has to be racial, standard starting wealth, bonus skill point every level to be spent in a craft or profession skill. Paizo material only. Game will be rated R for comic violence, swearing, baby eating, and violent goblin antics. ![]()
![]() Great Chief Graalsk sits back contentedly on his throne. "TWO-FANG DID GOOD JOB, YOU SMART AN' BAD FOR SURE. YOU GET FAVOR FROM GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. YOU NO HAVE TO WORK FOR ONE TENDAY, CAN EAT AT GREAT CHIEF'S TABLE, AN CAN DRINK GREAT CHIEF SOUPDRINK TONIGHT. REST OF YOU, YOU CAN BE BRAMBLECLAWS. APPR... APPRENT... APPERENT... BRAMBLECLAWS WHAT ARE NEW TO BRAMBLECLAWS AN' NEED TEACHIN'." Graalsk grins wickedly, showing perfectly denticured fangs capped with gold. "HERE ARE RULES FOR BEING BRAMBLECLAW GOBS: ONE. GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK IS BOSS. AIN'T NO OTHER BOSSES 'CEPT GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. YOU SAY YOU A BOSS, YOU GO IN SOUPDRINK POT. TWO. ALL BRAMBLECLAW GOBS GOTS TO WORK TOGETHER. AIN'T NO GOB ON GOB FIGHTIN. I CATCH GOB FIGHTIN' GOB, BOTH GO IN SOUPDRINK POT. YOU GOTS A PROBLEM WITH A GOB, YOU COME SEE GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. I SMARTEST GOB, I FIGGER OUT WHO RIGHT OR WRONG. THREE. ALL BRAMBLECLAW GOBS GOTS TO PUT IN WORK. AIN'T NO FREE LIVIN HERE. EVERY DAY, EVERY GOB GOTTA PUT IN ENOUGH WORK TO EARN KEEP. YOU GOTS TO BRING GREAT CHIEF FIVE SHINEY GOLD COINS OR STUFF WORTH DAT MUCH. YOU GOTS TO BRING SOME KINDA FOOD BACK TO BRAMBLECLAWS EVERY DAY TOO. YOU GOTS TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE SOME KINDA STUFF TOO - MAKE SLICER, MAKE WARMCLOTH FOR WINTER, MAKE FOOD REAL GOOD, SOMETHIN' LIKE DAT. DAT'S WHAT WRONG WITH OTHER GOB CLANS. LAZY, DUMB, AIN'T WORTH A TURD. IF YOU LAZY AN' DUMB YOU GO IN SOUPDRINK POT. FOUR. ANYTHING ELSE, GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO." ![]()
![]() "YOU WIERD AND QUIET, AND TALK FUNNY. GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK KEEP EYES ON YOU FOR SURE. MAYBE YOU OK, MAYBE YOU JUST WIERD GOB, BUT YOU SMELL LIKE GOB WHAT KNOWS ABOUT SOUL-STEALING MAGIC." Graalsk shifts his bulk in his throne, and shifts his gaze to Two-Fang. "WELL, TWO-FANG? WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY BOUT DEES GOBS?" ![]()
![]() "YEA YOU AINT A GOB FOR SURE. YOU BE ONE O' DEM KO-BOLDS. THAT DON'T MATTER, YOU CAN BE BRAMBLECLAW IF YOU SMART AN BAD. LONGSHANKS PROB'LY KILL YOU IF THEY NOTICE. YOU GET GOB HAT, LOOK LIKE GOB. SOMEONE TEACH DIS KO-BOLD HOW TO MAKE GOB SONG, DEN YOU BE REAL BRAMBLECLAW" Great Chief Graalsk turns to the last member of your group and waits impatiently. ![]()
![]() HUH, WHAT WE GOT 'ERE? Great Chief Graalsk sizes you up. He is certainly a splendid paragon of goblinkind. The Great Chief stands a mighty four feet tall. Rolls of fat droop out of a suit of scrap iron "armor", but his massive arms and shoulders give evidence to power under all that lard. Upon his brow rests a surprisingly well-crafted crown of brilliantly colored glass, and a dogskin cloak adorns his shoulders. A pair of well-worn dogslicers rest in his lap He sits atop a wooden chair "throne" behind an enormous bubbling black iron cauldron. Some vile brew boils furiously in the cauldron, and a battered pewter mug of the stuff rests by his side. It smells delicious To the side of the throne, two scantily clad goblin girls work diligently at polishing a set of fine silverware and chopping various ingredients for the pot. The Great Chief's red eyes linger on each of you in turn before he speaks. "SO YA WANT TO BE BRAMBLECLAWS, YEAH? YA GOTTA BE SMARTEST AND BADDEST GOB TO BE A BRAMBLECLAW. YA GOT TO LOOK A HORSE-DEMON IN THE EYE AN NOT FLINCH! YA GOTTA STEAL FROM A LONGSHANKS AN NOT GET CAUGHT! YA GOTTA EARN A PLACE IN DIS TRIBE! WHO YOU BE? " ![]()
![]() 'EY GOBBOS! LISSEN UP! I GREAT CHIEF GRAALSK. BADDEST GOB WHAT EVER SWUNG A SLICER! I GREAT CHIEF OF DA BRAMBLECLAWS! WE BADDEST GOB CLAN! YOU WANNA BE A BRAMBLECLAW? LISSEN UP! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT SMARTS AND FASTS AND STRONGS WHAT ADD UP TO YER FINGERS AND YER TOES PUT TOGETHER. ANY MORE THAN THAT AN' YOU CHEATIN! ANY LESS'N THAT AN' YOU AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A BRAMBLECLAW! MOST BRAMBLECLAWS BE GOBLINS! WE OKAY WITH OTHER KINDS TOO THOUGH! FROG TYPES, HOB-GOB, KO-BOLD, WHATEVER! NO LONGSHANKS THOUGH! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT WHAT LONGSHANK WIZARD CALLS "TRAITS!" YOU GOT THREE OF 'EM! ONE GOT TO BE CUZ OF YER RACE! IF YOU A GOB AND YOU AINT GOT GOB TRAITS, YOU AINT A BRAMBLECLAW! IF YOU A KO-BOLD AN YOU GOT A GOB TRAIT, YOU WEIRD BUT GOOD! BRAMBLECLAWS GOT SKILLS TOO! SMARTEST BADDEST GOBS! EVERY SINGLE BRAMBLECLAW GOBBO GOTS TO BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHIN! MAKE SLICER, COOK LONGSHANKS, WEAVE BASKET UNDERWATER, WHATEVER! WE AINT GOT ROOM FOR GOBBOS WHAT CANT DO STUFF. HEY! QUIT CRYIN! BRAMBLECLAWS REAL SMART PANTS GOBS WHAT GOT ONE EXTRA SKILL EVERY WHAT WIZARD CALL "LEVEL". USE DAT FOR BASKET WEAVIN! BRAMBLECLAWS REAL GOOD AT CLIMBIN' AN SWIMMIN'! BRAMBLECLAWS DO BOTH WITH NEW SKILL CALLED "Athletics"! ATHLETICS COUNT FOR BOTH CLIMBIN AN SWIMMIN AN' IF YOU GOOD AT ONE YOU GOOD AT BOTH! BRAMBLECLAWS START WIFF THE REGULAR 'MOUNT OF SHINYS WHAT IS USUAL! BRAMBLECLAWS CAN BE ALL KINDS OF GOBS! FIGHTAN GOBS, WIZARD GOBS, SNEAKIN GOBS, WHATEVER! LONGSHANKS WIZARD NAMED "JAMES OF THE JAY CUBS" GOT A STACK OF DEVIL BOOKS WHAT TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF GOB YOU CAN BE. IF IT AINT IN THEM DEVIL BOOKS YOU CANT BE IT! DONT READ THEM BOOKS! ASK JAY CUBS WHAT YOU BE! WHATS A 'JAY CUB'? SHADDAP! LISSEN UP! GOBS BE REAL BAD! SOME TIMES GOBS DO BAD THINGS OR SAY BAD WORDS WHAT MAKE LONGSHANKS GIRL TURN RED! IF YOU CANT HANDLE THAT YOU DUMB AND AINT A BRAMBLECLAW! NOW SOUND OFF WHAT KIND OF GOBS YOU BE, YA FAT FACED HORSE HUMPERS! standard 20 point buy. monstrous races only. three traits - one has to be racial, standard starting wealth, bonus skill point every level to be spent in a craft or profession skill. Paizo material only. Players will be those from the chiefmaker game plus my wife, because that's how nepotism works. Game will be rated R for comic violence, swearing, baby eating, and violent goblin antics. |