Gloomspath the Contemplative's page

I have an opinion on this topic!

My opinion on this matter is in line with yours, only I am older and have been playing longer, so it carries more weight, naturally

We’ve done more than enough to get you this far. Naturally you will need all your wits and strength to reach the Pool of All the Right Words.

Don’t expect any help from anyone. I’ve been there, and it’s no place for fun and games I tell you that.

haha, if by all the way, you mean onto bigger and better things, that’s a certainty

That’s right, Alexa, and what a display of skill

Axellexa is a ghost, a ghost with the most, with some ability to manipulate solid objects and she can cast a few helpful spells, while Gloomspath is a Lich in training, who can Fly, Levitate, and cast all sorts of helpful, and often not helpful spells, but mostly he just smells bad

This is naturally a trick, or maybe a trap, but using my extraordinary talents, I will hold the kayak for you and your heroic friends, so that you can explore the mystery of the tube of dangerous waters.

When Nasty asks about eating certain individuals, Gloomspath can only sigh and say under his breath

Not again

If Gloomspath and Axellexa help the heroes, can they mount the three, four man kayaks?

So, now that that's all cleared up, what do you make of the four three man kayaks?

Three great varieties, tricks, traps, and encounters

But, but, monsters are a necessary part of the overall equation. naturally, one cannot assume to rise to the rank of hero without overcoming challenges of the Five Great Varieties...

You don't know who I am? I am the favorite of her majesty, Axellexa the Excellent, and formally a goblin of great renown, more recently a Lich in training, whoa, but not that kind of lich, one of the not necessarily terrible sorts of liches, lichi, lichum, say what is the plural of lich anyway?

What do you suppose the twelve single man kayaks are for?

Wow, Hama, you need to make better games, sheesh, I mean that one had all kinds of, like, plots and stuff, and those things, that are, what, uh, oh yeah, like clues that have to be un clued or like that. You're a bad DM, dude, seriously

Rat’s noses, I’ve been busted. You’re on your own from here on out heroes.

She’s playing in one of those card tournaments. Look, naturally I shouldn’t be helping you, but I know how strange the Here can be, so I’m going to fill you in on some details. The door to the after is kept secret and guarded by a group calling themselves the Blizzard Patrol. They are a strange mixture of kobolds, gnomes, and goblins who left our world because of some disgrace, and we don’t talk about that, naturally. On Fridays, they gather at Skate-o-rama, a park just to the east of this place, and they take on challengers in an epic battle they call the Skazer Tag Challenge. If you beat them at this challenge they will show you the way to the After, but here is the catch. You need to be able to pay the fee to enter the Skazer Tag Challenge, and Ivvinne has already tried and failed three times and is out of money. She plays in card tournaments in the Afterwords place to raise money to be able to go up against them again. Right now Ivvinne is losing, bad, she has a good deck but she is drawing badly. Get up there and offer her your help in taking on the Blizzard patrol in the Skazer Tag Challenge. She won’t turn you down, naturally. Then get through the door to the after. Time is not on your side and the challenges of the after are not to be taken lightly.

Well, I’m just trying to move things along a bit. You know it’s not like we all can just sit down at a table and get this done in a day. And as I have said in all my previous evaluations, just because we can’t sit at a table doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be snacks. Heroes will always do better when snacks are available, even when…

Listen up you stupid piece of wood, Gloomspath pokes his head into the chamber, having overheard the comment. Naturally you must see that these heroes are on a magnificent quest. Give them the instruction manual, and get on with it!

Throwing his drawings and pens in the air, the less than a lich storms off to the west

Oh, just bag me up and toss me in the river, mumble mumble

Do you know some other way for me to learn how to make improvements to the system here? Naturally I must know what the heroes are planning to know what needs to be corrected, Gloomspath shouts out to the disembodied voice, and when you turn to see where the sound is coming from, you see the less than a lich, taking extensive notes, including drawing new sarcophagi with doors on both sides...

Well naturally I went through with it, did you not read the diary of Ack Phlug? How could I not after his dare? Naturally I proved him quite wrong and I am just as stinky and just as deadly as I was in life, though I must say the chores are a pain in the ass, but on the bright side my queen is very kind and the most pleasant of company. NOW SCRAM! Get the rod, get on with the adventure before I rebuild these dodos and you have to face them again, and maybe then they'll work like they are supposed to, oh they'll knock your heads off I'm certain, no GO!

Naturally. Anyway, once through the door, you will be in the here, a troubling place of perpetual change and mystery. In the here you must find the door to the after, and exactly where that is, I cannot tell you. Why? Naturally you would ask, because they keep moving it over there and I cannot spend the time keeping track of it. You nemesis, naturally, is already in the here, as I already returned the rod once this week. It is obvious, to the casual observer, that she has the key to the tomb, but not the key to the after, and she needs you as much as you need her. Take the rod, access the door in the pool and find the door in the after. Get the key to the tomb, bada bang bada boom. Quest completed. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a mess to clean up.

The robed goblin walks back to his work, and is muttering

Stupid metal ones always wind up ten more clicks than they are supposed to and what happens, every stinking time, babang and they wipe each other out. Mumble mumble

he actually says the words mumble mumble

Naturally, it is absolutely obvious these are great heroes on a quest. Most likely it involves pie, or cake, absolutely. So, do you mind?

Day 2, Tuesday (turn 95) The Dungeon is in Dim Light, coming from illuminated orbs that float near the ceiling

Um, what, ah, Ack! Who are you? Never mind, I know who you are, absolutely. the robed figure seems startled at first and drops the broom, then he recovers quickly, and approaches you, after picking up the broom.

I am Gloomspath the less than a lich, also Gloomspath the Contemplative, guardian and custodian of the Mysterious Dungeon.

...show you where the keys go...

Well naturally I know where the keys go, wouldn’t I? Did you fetch the wand, well it’s more of a rod actually, but, Ack! Wait a minute. Is that one the Hoobub Brother’s hats? Naturally it is. I am surprised you manage to wrestle one away from them, after getting the rod and all. You do have the rod? Naturally you do, what am I saying.

Look the first key goes in the door at the bottom of the pool. You need the rod to get to the door. Naturally.