Gelik Aberwhinge's page

"Shortcomings, eh? You and your tales Professor," he said with a snort.

At the gnome's double-entendre about her tale/tail, the wizardess merely tipped her head graciously, amused rather than put-off.

Ieana snickered as her short-statured cohort grew red in the face.

"You wound me, Highness! I have nothing but abiding tenderness in my heart for Lureene. While I may have corrected the blank slip that Amhranai thought she could get past me, it was not I who engineered that bit of tomfoolery."

"Well," Gelik measured out some more tobacco for his pipe, giving a slight wave to the departing form of Lady Elendreth and her nephew, "at the very least I would say that keeping him distracted was of no small relief to Elendreth. Truth be told, I believe she was grateful someone else took Poe to task and..." he paused, searching for the right word, "diverted attention away from his many... many faux pas."

"Rather more I should hope," Gelik added with a wink and a nod.

"Indeed," Gelik remarked, leveling a steely gaze at the nobleman, "You should see her when she has a sharp blade in hand. Why on this one occasion not long ago, Sasha swam two miles thru shark-infested waters, climbed a cliff, and broke into a prison manned by giant cannibals just to save her friends. Why the gleam that dear girl had in her eyes as she eviscerated those over-grown man-eaters was positively frightening — you've never seen so much blood!"

"Oh and the screeaams," the short-statured storyteller shook his hands in the air for effect, "I had always imagined castration to be an uncomfortable experience at best, but then one would think a knife to be better-suited to the procedure than a cut and thrust sword. Daresay I'm rather glad she was on our side! Energetic girl... energetic girl..."

With a shudder and shrug, the gnome turned his attention back to the dinner spread and pointed, "Pardon, milord, but could you pass the sausage? Short-reach I'm afraid."

Recalling that the official report mentioned four half-elven, half-Zuck women were responsible for Governor Taurion's assassination, Gelik answered hesitantly, "So are you, my dear, but that doesn't make you any less dangerous now does it?"

Gelik had just tipped his glass to Lureene with a wink when the royal guards crosses their halberds in the path of an exotic looking woman, strongly-built with light-brown skin and hazel eyes.

"Heads-up, Sash," the gnome murmured, brow furrowed as he watched the disguised assassin, Arion, approach the situation.

From where Lureene's company sat, it was easy enough to see that the woman was about the same height as Alis and Lily and garbed in the fashion of the city guard. Her particular uniform marked her as a battle priestess of some sort. At the scribe's approach, the guards momentarily withdrew their polearms, allowing Arion to pass so that the two might converse.

"To be fair," Gelik offered, "Ms. Nevah's recollection may be a bit hazy from the trauma of the experience. I believe the ghostly gentleman's name was Avret Kinkarian, captain of the 'Brine Demon'. His lady love's name was Aeshamara."

Twirling the end of his mustache and puffing out his chest a bit, the toga-clad gnome remarked, "I have made it something of a point to chronicle the adventures of the pulchritudinous playmates into whose care fate has delivered me. Our run-in with that ghost was among our tamer exploits, I assure you."

"Heh," Gelik gave an amused chuckle as he savored the spicy aroma of his morsel. "Her Highness, Sasha dearest, certainly was intense, but truthfully your action was immaterial to Alissariel's reaction — from where she stood, the Princess could not even see you."

With a sidelong glance at Lord Gallo he commented, "Unlike, for example, the nobleman presently laying his hands upon her lady in waiting..."

With that, he downed his ginger blossom, savoring the sensation spreading thru his sinuses as it cleared his palette and set his mouth to watering. "Ah, is that a stuffed boar I spy? I wonder if the chefs prepared any goatfish..."

Even as Ieana had to keep from laughing at Elendreth's whispered commentary, Gelik raised a finger and said, "Actually, I believe that Lady Elendreth was implying that the older gentleman was put-off because whomever he was forced to sit with is a rival of one of his friends. I do not believe the Lady's comment was directed at you, Lord Gallo."

Gelik held a finger up and commented, "That nonsense was none of my doing, I assure you. The only hijinks I employed was to correct those perpetrated by Ms. Amhranai."

He proudly puffed his chest out and commented, "She might have thought she could out-fox me by leaving her slip of paper blank, yet there was no mistaking the dirty smudges when I saw them..."

Noting the distaste that was lost upon Sasha and Lureene, Gelik commented quietly, "I believe what Lady Elendreth means to say is that there some some guests in particular she would rather not join us — keeping it classy and all that."

Back inside...

"I like my cloak right where it is, thank you." She relieved Gelik of the offered glass and took a small swallow. "Without it, I might melt in this heat. And I hope you don't hear a great deal more about me; that would mean I'm not doing my other job well enough. You probably know all that might be important anyways, nothing more to see now." She flashed what she hoped was a disarming smile at the gnome.

"Ah well there you go making it sound like I'm trying to talk you out of your clothes!" The dapper gnome returned Amhranai's wink and tipped his glass toward the significantly taller elf. "As for hearing news, we gnomes excel at brokering all the good gossip. It's we're uniquely suited for keeping an ear to the ground."

"Speaking of which," he put a hand alongside his mouth and whispered, "you wouldn't believe some of the dirt I've overheard about our esteemed guests! Wolves in sheep's clothing, all of them!"

Taking a sip of wine, he shook his head at Lureene's predicament and commented, "I tried to run interference for her. Had them all spellbound with tales of adventure from Reaver's Shiv, but nooo... she didn't want me to continue. Now she's even gone and hushed up poor Sasha! Well, she's on her own now, care to place a bet on how long before she breaks and runs?"

Even as a sigh of relief escaped Gelik, he ducked out from Lureene's side and nodded to the brash elven woman that had driven off Lord Bonati. "Ah so you are the Amhranai we've heard so much about! Why do I have the feeling that we shall all be hearing a great deal more?"

Waving a finger to hail another server, the gnome retrieved two glasses and offered one to the tattooed woman. With a wink he introduced himself, "Gelik Aberwhinge. Doff your cloak and stay awhile, I have it on good authority that you just made a new friend here..."

At Amhranai's outburst, a rather pale-looking Gelik raised a finger and squeaked, "I– I believe that we have another 5 to 10 minutes before an arrival could be considered fashionably late."

It wasn't long before Lady Ourson found the gardens and atriums of Villa Sempronius brimming with men and women garbed in fine dress. With Alis and Darvesch still having yet to arrive, Councilor Eluchíl had kept the young beauty occupied introducing her to guests and dignitaries.

For her friends' parts, Sasha was doing her best to keep quiet and not fidget, but the golden-winged succubus could tell that it was an uphill struggle. Meanwhile, Gelik had been entertaining a beautiful elven noblewoman and her snooty young nephew with tales of your exploits on Reaver's Shiv...

"...and that's when we saw a pillar of lightning, taller than the highest mountain, fork upwards to smite the clouds. Oh the way the sea churned and separated you might have thought some dark apocalypse had befallen the world, and you wouldn't be far off!"

Even as Naiobe held her palms up and looked to Lureene, Gelik apologized. "Please do not mistake our familiarity with the Princess for contempt. Her Highness' retinue was traveling incognito when Sasha and I befriended them. Coupled with the circumstances of our shipwreck and the degree to which we relied upon one another after our shipwreck... well, we've all grown rather close you might say. I assure you we mean no disrespect. Isn't that right, Sasha dear?"

With a sigh of exasperation, Gelik rapped on Sasha's gauntlet with the bowl of his pipe to get her attention. "Sasha Nevah, it's her Highness!"

Artwork: Lureene's Dress

Gelik stroked his goatee and nodded his approval. "Why you look the part of a senator's wife. Perfectly appropriate for the occasion. I must say, your wardrobe has benefited considerably at our dear Princess' expense. Wouldn't you agree, Sash?"

"Perfectly understandable, and I shall be the first to offer his assistance when the time comes."

"Now then," he raise his voice a bit, "how are we coming along Lady Ourson? My deft fingers are at your service if need be."

"Shhh..." Gelik shushed her whining by kissing his finger and placing it upon her lips. "There won't be any fighting, our friend Isaac has the security well in hand. There's a reason this is called ceremonial armor, you know." Quickly climbing down from his stool, he took the ranger by the hand and led her over to a full-length mirror.

"There, now you look like something out of a legend, gleaming like some fiery-maned angel!"

"Well beside the issue that the mail is rent, and the leathers reek of sweat and gore?" He turned her around and rapped his knuckles on the hard, contoured metal of her breastplate. "My dear, while I might not mind the sight of your cups running over, this is polite company we are entertaining. Alis would be mortified to find you looking like a doxy showing off her wares."

"You aren't attending this soiree as Lureene's playmate," Gelik's voice strained as he fought with a leather strap, "but as her bodyguard that's why!"

Even as Sasha's logic threatened to confound those around her, Gelik shook his head and bowed to the ladies Eluchíl and Sempronius Eldarion. "Please be so kind as to excuse us. I was just about to assist the ladies in selecting appropriate attire for our midday festivities."

Doing his best not to blanch, he quickly took Lureene and Sasha by the hand and high-tailed it for their boudoir. I've a mind to put her over my knee, but it took an hour to pleat this tunic properly. Maybe later...

Trying to maintain a pleasant smile even in the face of awkwardness, Gelik asked, "What was it we should have been told, madame Councilor?"

Gelik bowed his head and twirled his hand in a gesture of graciousness before turning to gaze up at the much taller ladies now surrounding him. "And to what occasion does this humble scholar of antiquity owe the pleasure of standing amidst so many esteemed and youthful flowers of beauty?"

"Don't let her more northerly appearance, fool you, milady," Gelik gently kissed the Lady's hand before cocking his head, a bemused smile on his face at Sasha's exuberance. "Just as assuredly as milady Lureene is a golden-winged angel, our dear Sasha is a Colottean thru and thru!"

The gnome scrunched his nose and held up his hands. "My dear, it is a testament to your prowess as a professional ah... sneak that a woman of such ravishing beauty could remain hidden in plain sight!"

Satisfied with his own eloquence, the short-statured scholar sank back in one of the luxuriantly upholstered chairs bordering the peristyle gardens of Villa Sempronius. The cool breeze from the enchanted wicker fan he had purchased that morning was nearly as refreshing as cool chunks of pineapple he was enjoying. Still, while the household servants of the Councilor's Villa were quite attentive, he would have rather in making certain his footrest had enough pillows, he would have much rather been standing on the far-side of the rosewood dressing screen behind which Lureene and Sasha were being fitted for gowns appropriate to attend a royal investiture.

"Vicereine," he said to himself with a sigh, "it does have a nice ring to it..."

After straightening his hair out again from Sasha's handiwork, Gelik steps up and offers his handshake to both Mal and Priyya. "Mal, Priyya, it has been... educational and I expect my longevity would be a thing of the past were it not for your valor and competence. If you ever find yourselves in need of a scholar, or wish to move some antiques, I'm your man."

"In the meantime," he glances to the bevy of beautiful women, and strokes his goatee thoughtfully, "I'll do my part to make certain everyone is well looked after..."

"Ah, yes!" Gelik shakes his head as if to free himself of idle thoughts and return to the present. "Why it would be my honor to escort such a lovely young flower about deck on this fine spring evening."

He stands up and pats both Sasha and Ieana on the shoulder. "A most engaging theory on the best practices for securing a dig site, but alas duty calls. Do carry on without me, I should very much enjoy hearing your conclusions a bit later."

Quickly, he finishes is glass of wine then jogs around the table before extending his hand to Lilyana while he bows, "Right this way, my Lady!"

Looking to Alis for a moment, he gives a knowing nod before bowing to Prince Tyralor. His voice trails off as he leads Lilyana down the hallway, "So it was aboard a doomed vessel known as the White Pearl whereupon I first made the Princess' acquaintance, though at that time, all in her retinue did travel incognito by way of clever disguises It would be weeks yet before their true identities were revealed."

"By 'deposit' do you mean the mine where that purple diamond was unearthed?" Gelik asks, savoring yet another bite of swordfish with a blissful expression on his face.

"So." Gelik says pointedly, ignoring the girlish banter. He adds a precise dash of salt with a single tap of his finger to a succulent piece of sword-fish, eyeing it intently. "A burglary of a temple to some cult of the feline persuasion, a murdered jeweler and his last great masterpiece, and a curious payment from a possible power-broker in Malatesta to a shadowy figure in the pirate haven. Quite the collection Captain Quellig amassed for himself. He even murdered all of his assistants after-the-fact if the bodies in that pit were any indication."

"Now even if that diamond voids all reason, the robberies I can at least wrap my head around. Yet it's that payment of gold bullion that intrigues me most!"

"Yes. It IS!"

Gelik strips off the monocle and carefully places the jewel in Alis' palm, but only after tapping her rings and wagging a finger. With a nod, she quickly removes her signet and ducal seal and holds it as if it were fragile as a quail egg. Even as she marvels and holds it alot, it catches the last rays of the sun thru the open window and sets the room afire with blues, and purples.

"Good gods in Heaven!" The gnome hurriedly rushes over to Alis' side dragging his footstool behind him.

"So it's not magical then," he murmurs. Cracking his knuckles he waves for her to float it closer whereupon he dusts it off with a prestidigitation. Looking into the chest that Lureene had opened he whistles and reaches inside, removing a dagger with a bejeweled hilt, its blade dark with long-dried blood and mold. "Someone knocked off a jeweler of no small talent!"

Pulling the chest closer, he rummages around for a moment. "Ah, here it is!" Blinking, he fits a monocle from the coffer over his left eye and casts a light cantrip on the tip of a smaller lens on a long shaft.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my..." He begins sweating and reaches into the box, removing a few small shards of a similar stone, sheered flat on one side and still rough on the other. Finding some tools tipped with tiny stones of various types, he experiments on a small facet.

"Quartz doesn't scratch it... garnet and emerald don't either... not even sapphire?!"

Breathing hard, the gnome steadies himself on the edge of the table for a moment. With trembling hands he reaches up and takes hold of it with the silk sleeve of his robe and examines it staring into the light for some time. "There's some whitish graining but that's to be expected with a diamond of such exotic hue..."

With Sasha presently absorbed with Lureene, who was in turn engaged in mutual mesmerization with the much younger and taller Marshall, Gelik turned his attention to Ieana. With a strictly internal shrug, he pulled his footstool over to where Sasha's chest lay open and hefted an old, tarnished goblet seemingly carved in the likeness of a skull. Catching the professor's eye, he asked, "Do you suppose this was a lost-wax casting performed upon the skull of some defeated adversary? The proportions are off, but I have heard of techniques that can make bone more malleable or even shrink its volume."

"Ah! Why yes, your Highness, I was just going to explain–" The gnome rubs his hands together with excitement before he suddenly gets the look of a man who knows someone is treading upon their grave. Without needing to turn, Gelik can feel Sasha's burning green eyes threatening to pierce him thru the temple. The short-statured scholar gives an uneasy laugh and confesses, "–that I was actually planning a written treatise on the matter so that it might be enjoyed at one's leisure. Ladies?"

Wiping his brow with a small handkerchief, he quickly gets out of the way before he can get bowled out of the way.

Shaking his head disapprovingly at the two stern-faced women, Gelik tut-tuts, standing on a footstool for a better view of the oblong ebony table occupying the center of the room. "Lady Lureene would appreciate it if the riff-raff would keep their prurient interests and lewd commentary to themselves thank you!"

Before everyone can get too carried away, Gelik gets the attention of the tall warrior who announced his acceptance of Darvesch's offer.

"There is nothing for me to forgive, my lady," Gelik says, taking her hand and giving it a gentlemanly kiss. In a lower tone, he says, "Thank you for understanding however. I shall be more discrete in the future."

It's not difficult for any of you to see that Gelik feels deeply chagrined, although it's also plain that he's so smitten with Lureene that he doesn't suspect that she has been anything other than genuine.

When Darvesch calls out his offer in a booming voice, the gnome seems to be relieved for there to be a diversion, and promptly translates what the hale dwarf just said.

Gelik blanches a bit from the three-pronged reprimand and bends a knee, head bowed. "Forgive my ribald humor, my lords and ladies. It was only meant to be display of clever word-play, not an insult."

Gelik stokes his goatee thoughtfully at Lureene's suggestion. "Indeed, my dear, I believe you should find that I am quite the master of cunning linguistics. On a side note, Zuck is a language in which I am fluent, yes. Either way, my tongue is at your service."

At Gelik's comment, you hear a snort from Priyya and a giggle from Sasha at Gelik's innuendo

"Darvesch has a point, Sasha. At any rate, we should have a good bit of coin with which to compensate them I would imagine. There is that chest back in the lighthouse not to mention–"

Gelik manages a weak smile of sympathy, and says, "My but she was brave, you– you would be proud..."

Unable to hold back his tears, he quickly gets out of the way and motions to Sasha. At least her wounds he could heal.

"Indeed!" Gelik pipes up, face flushed with excitement at what Grak said, "That was a display of spell resistance, not energy resistance. I'd wager that staff he dropped might punch thru!"

With a grin of excitement at the women's conversation, the gnome holds them up to Lureene's faithful familiar, and cheers him on, "Go Grak, go!"

Behind the young noblewoman, Gelik pauses. In front of him, one of the Zucks who had jumped and climbed onto the catwalk was standing stricken with fear at the sight of the dragon. In his hands, he held what Isaac recognizes as a familiar-looking helm and sword... the man must have recognized the Major!

Most of the others who were freed from their shackles were either looting corpses, unlocking their countrymen, or lamenting their slain brethren.

Well this is a tall order now, isn't it?

He sighed.

I suppose it wouldn't look too heroic to my golden angel if you went ahead with my original plan now would it, Aberwhinge?

Putting two fingers in his mouth, the tiny scholar gave an exceptionally loud whistle demanding the attention of everyone around him. Speaking Zuck with the perfect dictation of a school teacher, he began to clap his hands and call for order.

From below, there comes a rousing howl of pride and desperation. The tall, man standing before Gelik, though he looks nervous, hands the masked helm and sabre to Gelik before swinging back below and taking up position on one of the benches, others following suit. With that, Gelik breathes a sigh in relief and turns around, ducking between Alis and Lilyana and rushing back up to the back rail of the deck.

"You there, tall, blonde, and shiny, looking for these?"

Next Up: Sasha, Darvesch, Tyralor, Priyya, Ozyrankhus, Aerys, Gelik, Alis, Lilyana, Malandraenas, Lureene, Isaac
MAP: The Falcata, (Round 08d)

"Well, so much for a nice leisurely monsoon," Gelik comments. Looking at the windblown girl standing next to Alis, he waves his hand for her to follow and says, "Probably a wise idea for us to leave this to the heroes, wouldn't you say? Best not to get underfoot and all that."

With that, he hands Darvesch a glass vial from his pocket. "I have the feeling that if I end up needing this it will already be too late."

Giving Sasha a pat on the back, he calls out, "Happy hunting!" before hurrying away towards the prow, Lilyana momentarily torn between practicality and concern for her brother.

Item: Gelik gives Darv a potion of Cure Serious Wounds

With a shrug, Gelik joins Sasha, patting her on the back while they watch their winged-friend retrieving Ozyrankhus' staff. "On the bright side," he points up to a lone shape flying towards the ship from the north-west, "it looks like your Baby didn't forget about you."

"Yes, yes, formalities are all fine and well, but don't we have more pressing concerns?"

Trailing behind the imposing Lieutenant, you see his exact opposite, a short gnome with wet blonde curls and a neatly groomed goatee wearing a sopping robe of fine blue silk. He wrinkles his nose with distaste as the foul smell of the slave pit and comments, "Gods, it smells like someone was burning hair around here!"

He looks up towards Lureene, concern and suspicion evident on his face as he notices the young, good-looking soldier by her side. "My dear, I pray that it wasn't your radiant tresses that got scorched. And you, young fellow, keep your mind on the business at hand, don't go getting dreaming up any devious schemes, Master Gelik Aberwhinge has his eyes on you."

He casts a gaze back at the sight of Sasha groping Lureene and shrugs, commenting, "Well, one of them at least."

"By the way," he points a thumb behind him, towards the west, "does anyone know what that ball of fire heading this way is all about?"

Next Up: Alis, Lureene, Brute, Sasha, Mal, Aerys, Gelik, Priyya, Darvesch, Issac, Ozyrankhus
MAP: The Falcata, (Round 00d)

"That is a genuine possibility, isn't it?" Sharing a look of quiet alarm, the two bards nod solemnly at Lureene's comment about staying safe and pretend to bite their lips and cower in fear as they reach out and timidly touch the brawny woman on the arm, eliciting a laugh from the grim sailor as she disappears from sight.

With a sigh, Gelik takes both Alis and Lureene by the hand and says, "Should I die in battle or get swallowed by a shark, my one regret shall be that the angel come for spirit shall surely pale before beauties such as you... Goodbye cruel world!"