Back already?! Didn't even finish a hand of cards... Thanks Lady! Excellent work, keep up the good fight. Now, where was I?
Right, back at the shrine. Ignore the glowering woman for now, work on that later. Seems the N just isn't working out, time to head E (was really hoping to avoid the big eyeball). Cleared non-combatants from the first area, earning a death stare from the girl (what is it with the females around here?). Eventually got past some bars to check cabinets; some holy stuff and records, later. Move to the eye, smort guys say it's a Haunt(?). Fascist lays into it with all his angst and pops the eyeball, but the wall seems unimpressed. There's a bright light over the git, and he starts yelling about mirrors. To humor him, we shlep back and wrestle the big one we found earlier to the wall, but have to cover it and wait for the eye to return. You know, for science. Guess it's later, now for hours of mind-numbing paper shuffling. On the up side, the kids have piles of more paper to fold.
Eureka! The groundhog(pardon, Eye) saw itself and vanished, with the wall. Gain the entry hall, only to see yellow fog through all the windows. Looks like we won't be going walkabout, just yet. Look around and shove large desk in front of door we entered, to slow down monsters. Git stops and starts yelling about backpacks. With all the excitement, some loot has been forgotten? Shiny things are handed around, and I end up with a leather treehouse; with shoulder straps! Dubiously, I pick it up and find it quite light for it's size. Looking inside, can't seem to find a bottom. No telling how much loot I can stuff in here, if I can just find a shovel...
Enter the library, and the git almost faints. Books are torn apart and scattered around. Ratlings appear and start hucking volumes at the party to some effect. Hop on a table to avoid swarms, and begin missing anything I aim at. One finally drops, did I do that? Must be careful; when others see you do that sort of thing, they expect it all the time. Last one gave up, and these nuts let it go; feel better for some reason. Checked exit for traps, and peeked through rathole to next room. Missed the ratling and two big rats, and got missled for my trouble. Flanked around and shot a rat with acid (wait, when did this start? what have I contracted?) and the scrum is on. Explosions, biting, bleeding; ratling surrenders and is questioned? Very confused.
It prattles on about the ragman, some guy wearing yellow, and a witch who's been dead a long time. Then it's released in exchange for some jewelry, guess I can work with that. Move on to a meeting room, where I'm attacked from a closet by tiny mutants. After they are blown up, the remains of the doctor are found in their nest, being used as topsoil for a bumper crop of tumors. If I ever get out of this hellhole, am going back to the church and will pray for His bounty to wash all of this away in a wave of blessed alcohol poisoning.
More rooms, more bodies; the doctor's office is lined with truly disturbing drawings and notes. The git loks a bit like a pesh addict as he gathers them lovingly to his chest; guess we all have few stories others would rather not share. Last door leads to a large office that is very nicely appointed, except for the big pool of blood with a woman kneeling in the middle. Appears to be the missing director, but as she seems to have a rift to another plane in her, I'll leave her to the professionals. Git volunteers? to experience the mist floating around her, ties on a tether, and walks up to it; promptly passing out. Haul him back and wake him up, not sure how to fix this. The only decent thing to do is to grant her final grace. The thug lopes off her head and she can rest. Not pretty, but the connection is severed and the bad stuff goes away. Time To Loot!
Don't really want to think this out loud, but we've gone all day and I haven't seen the queue once. Kinda miss the guys on the bench, but can do without the soul-wrenching trips back and forth. Try not to let this get around, don't want someone to "remember" they're supposed to be tormenting the short guy.
OK, this is getting old, fast.
Slowly return to the land of the suffering. Still dark, still hurt, looks like my stop. Stagger upright taking a quick count of parts; when you're my size, each little bit is important. The git has made lights, which is very helpful, if somewhat nauseating. Up and attem, we got heads to collect!
Move past collapsed walls, some kind of clerk area. Broken desks, chairs, bodies; well, pieces of them. If someone really liked puzzles, we might know how many (note to self, cut out the morbid) (note back at self, then quit dying!). Under some rubbish, there's an old woman calling for help; go on, pull the other one! As the group cynic, I try to imagine the last time any of the "guards" came out from behind that barrier. The bomber feels duty-bound to help the poor wretch, and is rewarded by it leaping up and trying to eat him. He falls back as the fascist rushes in, and I shiv it for good measure. Claws, teeth, purple snakelets.....
Hey guys, good to see you again! Where did you get the nice bench? Has to make the wait easier and prevent fallen arches. Hope no more of the guys show up, getting a little crowded. Talk for awhile and compare wounds, maybe we can get wheels on this thing. Seem to have stopped bleeding, feeling a little better. Think I'm going back again, I'll try to stay longer, but no bets. Save me an armrest, just in case.
Back in the hall, flat on my back (as usual) with the bomber looking down at me(yep). Shelve the pain for now, heads and loot to be gathered. In the next room, there are three shackled to the wall; a crazy, a corpse, and something eating the corpse. When's the part where we sit down in a friendly inn and enjoy a proper meal? Riding a floaty disc the git conjured up, I carefully free the crazy, and the fascist takes out the "ghoul". Others pursue the nut as I sweep for usefuls. All I find is an eyeball wrapped in a hanky; probably worth a good bit to the right weirdo, but where am I going to find one here? Right on que, the git trades me a shiny knife for it(I win!)
Back to the barrier with our squishy trophies, and are allowed in, after turning over weapons, because we're obviously stabbing hobos. You're welcome. They're packed into a chapel and a cleric of Pharasma is riding herd. Name's Winter, and she seems alright(something about the eyes) just stretched pretty thin. We pitch in, try to help where we can. Playing my lute quiets the noiseier ones, and gives the rest a bit of calm. The boss thanks us, and figures we're not there to slaughter them all. She is an attendant to a Royal Accuser (shrink back into the shadows a little more) who went of to Thrushmore, a town to the north. We are in the remains of Briarstone Asylum, in County Versex, Ustalev. For the record, I'm supposed to be in Absolom doing important things, and probably have a great deal of explaining to do. Just saying, not that it's going to get me out of here any sooner. She lost her escorts to the patient riots following the earthquake(?) and ended up here with this bunch. As all the windows are handily fortified, we have to carve our way to the front to get out. Shiney!
Wake up in the morning feeling Wonderful; Winter has regained her symbol, and Higher has doled out the juice and she's topped us off. Can't remember the last time I had this many HP. We head Nord and find a washroom/abattoir, where a female dopp (in a proper nurse outfit, won't be able to un-see that) is filleting multiple bodies. Hold my ground as the others thunder in, missing an easy shot. The bomber pins it as I move in to remove its' kidneys, and whiff again. It responds by shoving a huge blade through my chest, and and pushing my spine out the back....
Hey, guys! Thanks for saving my perch, this might take a while; Sigh!
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Grimy alley, crumbling walls, thick fog. No help, could be anywhere north of the Inner Sea. Maybe not the north; thanks be to Him there's no snow to wade through. Pursuing footsteps, heavy tread,time to move. Just need to get a decent lead on the bigguns and find a bolthole. Several corners, moving uphill, seem to be a few running with me; wonder what we did? Face first into a wall; deadend; trapped; Feth, I hate this fog. Spoke too soon; fog parts and reveals a man made of rags swinging a scythe blade like it's a razor. What did I(we) do to make it so mad? Have almost nothing on me, so obviously didn't finish. One of the others rushed it; couldn't see through the swirls, but it sounded like a horse getting butchered. Blood sprayed and it was past time to leave. I swore to buy Him a bottle of the good stuff if He could get me out of there, and dashed into the mists. Perhaps I was unclear as to HOW good it would be, and ran right into it; the wall gave more. Motion, pain, darkness; why is it all those people say there's a light to walk toward, it's always dark as pitch. A small light would be nice, don't want to trip and bust your beak on the way to the afterlife. Couldn't get a place in line, and came to slowly; no surprise, there's bars. Screams, sweat, blood, peoples terror; wonder if I know anyone here? Wearing someone else's clothes, I get up from the filth and find nothing useful; not even a bit of wire. Noise comes from a biggun strapped to a table, being carved by a woman using various sharp bits of debris, most of which I could us to escape this pit; she really enjoys her work. Shouts from other cells for her to stop cause her to turn and yell, as the meat on the table frees a leg and boots her toward a cell. Arms try to grab, but she's a nimble one. Meat gets her in the breadbasket, and she goes down. All I can see is the keyring sliding my way; grab, open, cross, open, cross again, open. Grab a rusty nail that's been honed down, and spot her running. Give chase, but the door closes before I can reach it, and somehow lack the leverage to open it. Men arrive to take over, and have to chase down the git, who wandered off with the only light to rummage for loot. Can't fault the intent, shows good initiative, but there is a time and place. Get back in time to see the doorburst open and the...thing? stumble back into a pile of bodies; somebody's been busy. Dodge through with the light, and it shows me my purple worms, using some foot-long claws. Leaning against a wall, I watch the others pelt it with anything at hand. The guy doing most of the yelling goes down, and thing moves back toward cells. I stumble across the sloping room and lunge at the one in the middle; goes dark again, getting old now. And again, the queue is endless, and I'm back in the stink. Not surprising, just a bit shopworn. Git's been busy; there's a pile of stuff next to me, and it could be mine. Just need to figure out who me is, probably important. Real nice viol,no bow; made for a big, but could be played like a bass in a pinch. Time to go, stairs blocked, best option is the corpse chute. Easier than it looked, arrive in a small room that leads to a rainstorm; be nice to rinse off the slurm. Move into a small courtyard looking for an exit, and discover what it feels like to be one of those big shellfish they boil alive at the waterfront. Finally get into the main building to find nervous guards with crossbows, guess it's back to the queue. Lots of yelling about dopplebangers, no trust, prove we're real, asylum; not sure if they're escaped residents, or just pesh heads. We have to produce three of the things heads to "prove" we're not them(?), and the git and the guy who can still walk get the one from down below. Next room had two rats bigger than me, a furry thing I've never heard of, and a couple of light sticks. Continued finding linens, lantern, centipedes...Feth! Back in the queue again!
Wonderful, wonderful; always nice to pack a few more warm bodies into this cubicle. Mind the foot traffic, it can be rather brisk, and whatever you do, don't get the two bigguns over there started. Those two elves over there(not positive about the one in the hat), if they get talking, they will NOT shut up.
As someone who has the look and smell of an individual trained in the production of potables. In any rewarding endeavor, a stiff belt(or three) is almost always key to success. And couldn't hurt when enduring this endless chatter. As soon as I find a few odds and ends, we'll pop out of this coop and get on with the very important(and lucrative) work I was in the midst of; as soon as I remember what it was, where we are, and...what did you say your name was, again?
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Thanks. Thin, is it? Wonderful, but if you don't mind, I'll just stay over here in my safe space. All I can do to keep from getting trampled. For an escape-proof cell, this place gets more traffic than the ridged airship station in Absolom. And a lot stranger.
First, with the exception of the shapely halfling with the interesting hair, there will be NO groping. Second, where might I get one of those nice white coats(14 Short), and could I lead myself away wearing one? Just a thought.
One more thing; where the feth are "we", and what is the safe occupancy limit on this pest hole? And does it include that shadowy form staring off into the distance?
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G'day, name's Evan; have we met? Was snuck out of Cheliax when I was just a sprig, ended up in Andoran. Spent a bit of time there, but just didn't seem to measure up to those fine tall uniforms. Managed working passage on an old trader and landed in Absolom; a huge, beautiful, strange, confusing, deadly place to try to grow up in. Survived on wits and quick feet until happening upon Cayden's Rest; an inn run by a fine old codger named Georgi. Took pity on a half-starved runt and had me clean up around the place and run errands. Was nice to sleep indoors and not have to worry where the next crust was coming from.
Started gaining a few skills, not sure what to do with my future. Didn't think I'd be able to follow the boss' path, don't have the right frame of mind. At first, nobody told me how tight Georgi was with the place's namesake. Concord related a couple tales from "The Old Days" that got my attention and reminded me not to take things at face value.
Life was going well, and one day... and there was the thing... then something happened...
Where exactly is this place?
Evan Sumak
Halfling Rogue(Unch)
Str 5
Dex 17
Con 14
Int 12
Wis 14
Cha 16
Meticulous Enduring Stoicism Tireless Logic Fate's Favor
Fleet of Foot Believer's Boon: Travel
One should be able to extract oneself from the dungy at least as fast as one charged headlong into it.
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