Enyn's page

Enyn, I understand what you're saying, but I also think you're blowing it out of proportion. The whip of chastisement was an attempt at humor to add some levity to the advice. This is also an exceptionally old post at this point and you've dug it up, thereby calling more attention to it than I think anyone would have ordinarily paid it. When I made that comment, it was because I was in the mad rush of trying to get feedback to everyone, but there were a lot of folks coming forward and saying they hadn't kept a copy of their original work. To me, that's a very unprofessional thing to do if you're serious about getting into freelancing. And, I think it's important to tell folks that here, in the feedback thread, as additional advice...

...Finally, I can also appreciate the possibility of trying to contact someone off-site to relay that kind of message. But I had two reasons for not doing that. First and...

Thanks, Mr. Spicer- this gives me more perspective on what goes on. I'm totally new to this kind of process. I'm sorry it seemed like I dug it up- I had checked back for several days after my original post and after not seeing anything yet figured it was a lost cause and silently slunk off. After a while, on a lark, I decided to check again and there it was, along with the comments, and as they say, hilarity ensued. I guess my biggest fear was that future submissions would be tainted by my mistakes now, but your last few words made me realize they may not be. The only thing I can't do is bring the same level of mojo- I'll have to bring a better level to stay in the keeper file! Thanks again!

Again, respectfully,
Enyn

Enyn wrote:

My item was the "Cloak of the Choker". Unfortunatley I forgot to copy it to my computer (I wrote it straight to post from my notes). Could one of the Vaunted Paizoites please dig it out and post it with feedback, please? Much thanks!

Okay, first, I want to point out one thing. I'm really annoyed by those who "forgot" to keep a copy of their item...or "lost" it since submitting for the contest...etc. I don't mean to single you out here, Enyn. You're not the only one to post here for feedback stating something similar. But...here's where I'm going to wield the whip of chastisement (not a real wondrous item or magic weapon) for a moment.

If you want the judges, the voters, and Paizo to take you seriously with regards to a freelance writing opportunity like that represented by RPG Superstar, you need to start developing the serious habits of a freelance game designer. You should always keep a copy of your work. And you should never misplace it. And if you find yourself in that situation, and then post here for feedback on your item, you should understand that it immediately raises some pretty serious reservations to learn that you haven't applied enough attention to detail to even organize your work so you can find it again and have it on hand to reference as we give you this feedback.

Okay. I got that out of my system. I'm okay now. Really.

Unbiased feedback on its way...

Apologies. Rookie mistake. I still had my notes, I just didn't want to take a chance on re-writing it in the critique thread incorrectly, and provoking raised eyebrows. I figured you guys wouldn't mind helping, but it looks like you kind of did, and I still raised eyebrows, but now it's at my competence instead of at a mistakenly altered re-write of a submission. I'm trying not to sound like sour grapes here, (To be honest, I never expected to do as well as having it stick around in the keeper file for a while) and I appreciate the feedback, but I do wish you had found a more private venue in which to wield your "Whip of Chastisement", perhaps via e-mail or Personal Message. With my post attached to this vent I do feel singled out in spite of your disclaimer, and I am wholly embarrassed in the face of this, with everyone in the forums able to see exactly how you felt about the issues some of us had with failing to copy/paste in this one instance. In the world most of us are relegated to a public dressing down is just not done in the workplace, whether in front of peers or via a public message board . Even if it wasn't in a workplace, the contest and it's corresponding forums are still basically a multi-stage interview for a freelance job, and still no place for a public dressing down. Feedback ( good or bad) on entries is one thing- this was another entirely.

Respectfully,
Enyn

Hello, all. My item was the "Cloak of the Choker". Unfortunatley I forgot to copy it to my computer (I wrote it straight to post from my notes). Could one of the Vaunted Paizoites please dig it out and post it with feedback, please?
Much thanks!

Enyn wrote:

It seems I forgot to copy and paste my item submission from my entry post to my computer. I wrote it straight to post directly from my notes. Ummm...how do I get feedback on it? Did you already delete the rejected posts? I can try to re-write it, but I'd have to find my notes again. What can I do?!?

We don't delete them. Just mention the item name in the feedback thread, and I'm sure somebody will dig it up for you.

Thanks!

It seems I forgot to copy and paste my item submission from my entry post to my computer. I wrote it straight to post directly from my notes. Ummm...how do I get feedback on it? Did you already delete the rejected posts? I can try to re-write it, but I'd have to find my notes again. What can I do?!?

There are no names or icons on any of the posts from non-judges in the Judges' Chambers, so you're good. Though now I know that one of the many entries we've already received is yours ;-D

EEEP! Forget I said anything! I'm not here- just a reasonable facsimilie is all...yea, that's it, that's all...

Just a concern. When I did my submission, my avatar was appearing in the preview box when I would check my word count. Does that mean it wasn't submitted anonymously? Or was my entry itself not supposed to contain any personal info? Please help- I am not tech-savvy!

My pleasure :)

Do it in the forums under short story, please just open the thread with the name and post the story as an attachment, .doc is better.

I will take the first edit and help you upload it in the site

I posted it- Here's hopin' I did it right!

Enyn wrote:

If it's not too much trouble, could I see the feedback for "A Bride in Korvosa?" I'm mighty curious to see what faults denied me the 3 points that kept me out of the top five.

But hey, TOP TEN, BABY!

after the first stories my notes began dwindling considering how heavy the workload become.

** spoiler omitted **

besides my very spoiler comment above: the story has some roughness that can be polished, the movement in the alley make it feel a lot bigger than it should. and the ending... while i love the scene exactly previous the the ending, the true ending (the character leaving) while i like where its headed it could be wrapped a bit better. A tad shorter and focused ending would keep the climax of the story without dilutting. as it is right now, the ending dilutes a bit the drama of the end, not enough to ruin it, but just enough that the climax is far behind. Remember... the feeling in the climax (the rescue) its what must be felt in the end.

** spoiler omitted **

Exellent- I'll keep this in mind for when I get a chance for revision work in the near future. Thanks for the input. Oh, and I choose option A on the anthology choice. On another note, when I go to post "Bride", should I do it in the forums? Or another area (I'm still learning to navigate the 'Chronicler site)?

So, maybe a lot of those who entered seemingly brought knives to a gunfight this round, but we'll try to hone our skills and come loaded for, and *expecting* bear next time...(but we'll still hope the pros all get writer's block and massive hand cramps :p )

But Neil's more like...owlbear. Yeah, I'll come loaded for owlbear, next time.

Andrew Crossett wrote:

Trench wrote:

*blink* Sounds like you and I were working with a similar premise witht he Ardoc mysogyny. I'd be curious to check your story out and see if our ideas of Kaer Maga match up.

Mine is up on the Pathfinder Chronicler site:

Family Business

Let me know if you put yours up somewhere, because I'd like to read it.

the stories are open to comments, so if anyone want to write something on them, please be free to do it, it would be easier for the readers to check the comments if they can find them in the same place.

How do I get "A Bride in Korvosa" posted like this? I'm registered at the PC forums as well as the main site, but not dure where to go from there.

Enyn wrote:

Already did my soulful eyes puppy routine- if that didn't do it, it's a lost cause, man, A LOST CAUSE I TELL YA!

We need MORE PUPPIES! More I tell you, MORE!!!! Heap them to the SKY!!

puppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppypuppyMUSHROOM!-MUSHROOM!...;D

Enyn wrote:

Enyn wrote:

If it's not too much trouble, could I see the feedback for "A Bride in Korvosa?" I'm mighty curious to see what faults denied me the 3 points that kept me out of the top five.

But hey, TOP TEN, BABY!

Addendum: Since "Bride" made it into the top ten, did Mr. Sutter see or read it? If so, I'm powerful curious to see what he may have said (uttered with the big, sad, soulful eyes, like a dog under the table where too muh steak is being eaten...whine whine whiiiiiine).

e-mail or post here- whichever is easiest for all.
Thnx!

Nope, only the PFC judges read the Top 10, they selected the Top 5 and sent those to James.

Which is why we at least need our "Top Ten Baby!" name thingy!! ;)

(...and we need to beg for James to read our stuff :p )

Already did my soulful eyes puppy routine- if that didn't do it, it's a lost cause, man, A LOST CAUSE I TELL YA!

If it's not too much trouble, could I see the feedback for "A Bride in Korvosa?" I'm mighty curious to see what faults denied me the 3 points that kept me out of the top five.

But hey, TOP TEN, BABY!

Addendum: Since "Bride" made it into the top ten, did Mr. Sutter see or read it? If so, I'm powerful curious to see what he may have said (uttered with the big, sad, soulful eyes, like a dog under the table where too muh steak is being eaten...whine whine whiiiiiine).

e-mail or post here- whichever is easiest for all.
Thnx!

As for the heated race. We had a scoring system that brought 10 entrees to the top. Though we give honorable mention to each Judge's favorite, the points speak something a little different. Out of 100 possible points, here is how the top 10 panned out. Thank you Montalve for keeping such a fantical excel sheet. I just want a few of our contestants to see just how incredibly close they came to being in the Top Five. I believe everyone deserves a shake of the hand and serious acknowledgement for their efforts and I will attempt to do that in the coming days ahead. Once this Wayfinder business is sorted out.

Top 10 by Score
87 Points: Rain of Redemption
87 Points: Enchained
86 Points: Unrequited
84 Points: A Feast to Remember
82 Points: Tea with the Laughing Fiend
81 Points: Family Business
81 Points: The Wandering Kingdom
80 Points: The Three-faced Card
79 Points: The Half Elf and Echinoderm
79 Points: A Bride in Korvosa

D'OH!!! Just 3 points kept me outta the top 5?!? 3!?! Firp-ding-nabbit-n stuff!

Seriously, though. Congrats to everyone, especially William Dodds, my close personal friend and eternal gaming buddy, who wrote the second-place winner, "A Feast to Remember". We both worked hard on these and supported each other a great deal when it was getting down to the wire, and I'm very proud to see him do so well in the face of such competition. We've already got more stories in mind for the characters we wrote about, and look forward to getting them done. I can't speak for him, but personally I would like to post "A Bride in Korvosa" to the 'Chronicler for editing and feedback. I've already registered at the site- just need to email request how to get involved with pretty much anything I can (if you remember my earliest post, I stated I was not overly tech savvy). This was a great experience, and I can't wait to get started on the stories my friend and I need to write!

If it's not too much trouble, could I see the feedback for "A Bride in Korvosa?" I'm mighty curious to see what faults denied me the 3 points that kept me out of the top five.
But hey, TOP TEN, BABY!

BIG O , SHOW TIME!!!!!

I'm sorry, the judge comments made me think of this.

Awesome reference.

Enyn wrote:

Is that 1:00 or 2:00 in EST? (Nibblenibblenibble...)

3AM

AAARRRGGGHH!

Is that 1:00 or 2:00 in EST? (Nibblenibblenibble...)

Nibblenibblenibble (spits out fingernails) nibblenibblenibble...

I'd love to post my entry on 'Chronicler, but I'm worried I had to gut too much out of it to make it a good read- I ended up trimming about 1100 words from it. I kept saving to an alternate file, then I'd go back and slash away. If I do post it, should I do the entry I sent in or the "unexpurgated" version? Maybe both, for comparisons? And do I need to edit three other stories before I'm allowed to post one, or is the first a "freebie"?

I thought the final five were to be revealed on the 25th, with the final decision on the 1st?

Thanks, Zuxius
I'm rarin' to go again with more stories featuring the same characters. My friend and I both entered the contest and we've been saying that even if we just place in the top five that' would be reward enough. Right now I'm sketching out story ideas for future Pathfinder tales with the same characters, but one in particular has been trying to claw its way out of my head so I guess I'll be tackling that one first. Are there word limits to what can be posted at the Patfinderchronicler website?

Awesome! Thanks!

Got my story in late that Saturday night ('bout 2-3am). Had a rough time parsing it down to just 4500 words (final count was 4496 w/out title page). It was a struggle on the technical front, too. When I was in high school the table top PC was that hallowed device kept in the reserve room in the media center, so I was never really exposed to the wonders of PC use. Most of my younger friends run rings around me when it comes to tech-talk- as a matter of fact I had to ask someone how to save in rtf format! I'm getting better, although Microsoft Works is the only writing program I'm familiar with. I just hope I sent it in a format that could be worked with!
The story just started writing itself after I got past the 1st few 100 words, and it was a blast- I never had anything flow out of me like that. I've always wanted to write, and this has definitely made the writing bug bite! This was exhilherating and I look forward to the next contest.