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Henrietta "Hetty" Miller, Murderous Midwife

This is one of those entries that makes me smile, because its pretty much what I was planning on submitting had I gotten past the first round.

Try this for a Hetty twist: Hetty is actually a hag, and this has been her MO for decades (though the frequency is far less). Her oldest? They are now powerful merchants, politicians, and adventurers in their own right, and are loyal to a fault. "Grandmummy," is never far from their thoughts, and more often than not they do her bidding (knowingly or unknowingly). Presto! You get a seemingly innocuous woman protected by her community, with a horde of however-powerful-the-DM-decides NPCs at her beck and call. The fact that the threat level grows with the PCs level makes Hetty a viable long-term villain.
Honest Critiques of the Top 32 by an RPG Designer and Publisher

Justin, will you be doing any more of these now that the 2nd round is in full swing?
Honest Critiques of the Top 32 by an RPG Designer and Publisher

I think I'll toss mine in as well, not in the least because my item and Alex Handley's have a more than a little bit in common, and I'm curious as to what made his a better fit for the pool of 32.

Mask of Dead Revelations

Spoiler:

This unadorned wooden mask allows conversations with a dead (or even undead) creature. Twice per day, the mask can be placed over the skull of any Small, Medium, or Large creature with approximately humanoid features, allowing it to answer questions as if under the effect of speak with dead (2 questions). During questioning the mask takes on the appearance of the creature when it was alive, (similar to disguise self). Only the skull need remain intact, and the subject does not get a saving throw due to alignment differences.

In addition, the mask can be used on undead creatures. If used on a corporeal nonintelligent undead creature, the mask not only functions as above, it also places that creature under the control of the first being to ask it a question. This effect is identical to command undead, but lasts only until the last question is asked and answered. Intelligent undead are subject to the disguise self abilities of the mask, but are in no way forced to answer questions.

Faint necromancy, faint illusion; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, speak with dead, command undead, disguise self; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Deadstring Shears

I like this item.

I would have liked it better had it severed control of the undead instead of their unlives. If worded properly it could even serve to break rebukes and turns.
Losing items
Patrick Walsh wrote:

...I'd give intelligent undead a WILL save to avoid the control or just make them immune entirely. Hmm... In fact, forget the WILL save, just make them immune.

I like the basic powers and the descriptive text. There is tons of roleplay possibilities here. I'd make it once or thrice per day instead of twice, thrice if you make intelligent undead immune. I like the control of unintelligent undead lasting only the length of time between the questions.

If you don't make intelligent undead immune, put a maximum time for the control based on CL or give them a new WILL...

Hmm - I had meant for intelligent undead to be immune to the effects of the mask (except the disguise self), but obviously that didn't come out in the text. It must have gotten left on the cutting room floor as I was cutting words to get it under the 200 word cap. When I reread it, I also notice that my intention to make the control and Q&A subject to the normal time limits for speak with dead wasn't clear. Truthfully, your assumption that it had no time limit makes for a better item!

Thanks for the comments!
Losing items

I'm guessing my Mask of Dead Revelations was dinged for a number of things: swiss-army wondrous item, mismatched name, bland.

So, constructive criticism-ophiles, do me a favor and let me know how I could have made this better:

Spoiler:
Mask of Dead Revelations

This unadorned wooden mask allows conversations with a dead (or even undead) creature. Twice per day, the mask can be placed over the skull of any Small, Medium, or Large creature with approximately humanoid features, allowing it to answer questions as if under the effect of speak with dead (2 questions). During questioning the mask takes on the appearance of the creature when it was alive, (similar to disguise self). Only the skull need remain intact, and the subject does not get a saving throw due to alignment differences.

In addition, the mask can be used on undead creatures. If used on a corporeal nonintelligent undead creature, the mask not only functions as above, it also places that creature under the control of the first being to ask it a question. This effect is identical to command undead, but lasts only until the last question is asked and answered. Intelligent undead are subject to the disguise self abilities of the mask, but are in no way forced to answer questions.

Faint necromancy, faint illusion; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, speak with dead, command undead, disguise self; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Bad Item Stereotypes

Whoops! Wrong thread!
Nausea Pill

I'm working from memory here - I want to say issue 90 or 91, but it might be +/- issue in either direction.
Nausea Pill

This reminds me a great deal of an item from one of the "Treasure Trove" articles in Dragon magazine - the Necklace of Bad Taste (or more appropriately, the Necklace of Tasting Bad).

That's a good thing.