Emma Granger's page

This is getting ridiculous. Vex and Lugh tell us there are two of the dark elfy magus guys behind door number one, so everyone jumps in... and half the group goes off somewhere in the dark. Saunders steps up to fill one of the gaps, and Huge is doing his best to intercept their swords and spells with his body; Kelyn got into that act too.

Luckily Nina was on the ball and hit them with something to disrupt their invisibility so that I could target the bad guys without clobbering the ones on my side. Finally I get to feel useful as something other than a walking encyclopedia...

Coming up levels in the tower is like coming forward in time. The architecture, furnishings and decorations (such as they are) get more modern as we ascend. Luckily, these plane hopping magus guys don't seem to be getting a lot better, although one of them will occasionally rip off a high level area spell. The first one of those caught most of us off-guard and nearly ended the mission then and there. Dropped me and hurt Saunders badly, but the rest were able to smoke the perpetrator. As I came around, Saunders handed me a potion he had got from our guide that turned out to be a Heal with a capitol H.

The second time we ran into a magus that ripped off one of those cold-balls, Saunders and I were ready with a bit of tailored Protection from Energy, and the fight went much better. Aother of the mannikins handed me another Heal potion, and I pocketed it like the first. I have a feeling we will be needing them in a bit...

Wouldn't you know it, this darned place isn't full of undead demonic golem constructs, it's full of plane-hopping weirdo elven maguses. They are nimble little minxes, too. Just had one side-step a forest of black tentacles, so area spells are out. I would like to question one, and wonder of wonders, Vex actually tried to help subdue one, but the others smashed him to goo, dammit.

Atz, we need to see if Atz can talk to them after they're dead. At this rate the boyz are just going to kill them all...

Turned out, it took awhile for Delvahine to get back to us. A few days turned into a few weeks, turned into a few months. I decided pretty early on that I would try to convince the group that we needed to get ahead of the curve and stop reacting to whatever plot was grinding ahead; we needed to accomplish something that had been pushed to the back burner: we needed to find and destroy that damned liche along with his phylactery. I started studying and memorizing spells to deal with constructs.

Eventually, I got my way and we found ourselves in the Mushfens, looking for the tower that Huge had tracked the liche to way back when, when Saunders and I had first joined up. When we started up a bunch of weird swampy flesh-golems that hatched invisible pigasauruses when badly damaged, I knew we were close.

Lichey-boy had hidden his tower away on the ethereal plane, but we managed to find the door when it opened to disgorge another construct-creature. Kelyn was able to get his foot inside (almost literally), and the rest of us piled in despite the protests of a couple of weird wooden constructs. They were a bit simple minded, and I was able to wheedle them into showing us around the place in order to rid them of some "other intruders" who were looking for "the Master's" library, something I wouldn't mind having a look at myself. Since one of the constructs was able to access this library via something resembling a secret chest spell, I figured it was in some sort of pocket dimension grafted on to the tower. Also, the Master didn't seem to be in residence, so the pounder types needed SOMETHING to keep them occupied...

...at the rear of the hall, two things slithered from the shadows as Delvahine peered around a pillar. These things were something like giant nagas with immensely bloated, slug-like bodies; they positively pulsed with obscene life-force. I had heard of them but couldn't quite recall their name, I did know that they were vulnerable to negative energy snd THAT is something I can do.

Macer was running toward Oona, shouting about getting to Lugh's (destroyed) temple, and it was painfully obvious that he had been dominated. I told Oona to stay in the anchor and not to listen to him.

As the monsters slammed into the party, I sent Saunders to help, then pulled out something special I'd been saving: reach vampiric touch, and began zapping the creatures, using my pearls to cast it repeatedly. I feared that Lugh and Huge wouldn't last, but we finally brought the things down with the help of Atz and some timely healing under fire.

Here's my thing: when I'm wrong, I admit it.

We popped into the great hall of the Deverin mansion and everyone began to scatter... except for Huge, who was kneeling. Oh yeah, he'd been dominated by one of the succubi before we 'ported out; a targetted dispel took care of it handily, otherwise he would have been there for weeks. As amusing as that might be, we had a time crunch.

Hearing a clamor of voices, I entered a side hall where it seemed some sort of council of war was going on. I took a second to cast Infernal Healing on myself, the pain from my wounds was becoming a distraction. Nearly everyone in the families was present, but no Delvahine; and the rising voices were a distraction too.

I raised my voice, saying, "yes we are back and Lugh's family and Mister Macer's dad are with us. Now if everyone will be quiet for a moment and let me think!"

Delvahine had lost her wings, so she had vexed (heh) her patron once too often, and needed to get back into good graces. Who was her patron? Well, this whole business started with Delvahine building shrines to Sorshen, so that was a good bet. What did Sorshen want? She was the vainest of the Runelords, and wanted to come back as pretty as ever... crap.

It had to be Oona.

Delvahine had just gone to beg reinforcements of a higher order than she could call herself.

We had to get back, right away.

I'm afraid I actually screamed at that point. The idea of having to protect that crazy slitch Oona from a fate worse than death was galling. I mean, who among us was more deserving of a fate worse than death? Problem was the price was bringing back a Runelord, and that was too high for the world to pay. Damn the bad luck.

Everyone needing to go were around me by this time, so I touched one of my pearls of power and took us back to the temple of Abadar, right where we had left from. Less than a minute had passed, and the fight was NOT going well. Huge rushed over to help Lugh, and I tossed some Chain Lightning over that way to thin the herd. Oona was near the center of my Dimensional Anchor so I told her to stay put, telling the others (no matter how much it hurt) that we needed to protect Oona.

About that time, I felt the displacement of air indicating that something big had just been teleported into our vicinity...

One one-thousand, two one-thousand...

Here's my thing: I get in the habit of counting to time something and it's really hard to stop. Kind of like when you notice you're breathing and then can't stop noticing, right? So in the demi-plane shifting maze where Mr. Macer's dad and the Lugh family were being held, I had to time the shifts. Not too hard when drippy planar things and herds of cats were blipping in and out every few seconds.

So I used one of Macer's gate scrolls to bring everyone back (Huge had to be reminded about taking off the shackles. Twice), and we're back in the temple of Abadar... six days later. Darned demi-planes. As we head for the door, nearly everyone started laughing (not me, I don't know how) and the congregation attacked us. Not a laughing matter, so I set up a force wall to cut off half of them, but they figured it out and started coming around the ends. Some of them actually started hitting me, and Saunders doubled over with laughter can't help me.

So, quickened dimension door to a vacant area, drop the force wall, and set up a selective lightning arc... which dropped one (1!) out of ten or so, skipping Vex. Nina was yelling about undead, and pointed out our friend Delvahine, now sans wingy bits. Knowing she would just dispel a dimensional anchor, I decided to set up a dimensional lock around her, and the thrice-damned biatch just ran out of it, right at me. She then blew me a kiss as she teleported away.

Something in her eyes just before she vanished made me realize that she had to buy her way back into SOMEONE'S good graces, so she couldn't really leave without...something. An intuitive leap, and I shouted that she was heading for the Deverin mansion, and anyone who wanted to come should get to me right away; Huge and the new guy, Duergar responded, and we were off to the races.

Now, what is it that Delvahine wants?

Wow, it seems like we have been fighting for days.

Oh wait, we HAVE been fighting for days. Starting off with the fall into the spider centaur webs, then on down and into the tunnels and the cyclops things, and now finally back to Magnimar. From the state of the old home town, I'm glad my mom is relatively safe in Absolom.

We got to Lugh'S little church project in Underbridge in time to see a wave of goblins, giants, and demons emerge from a huge gate in one of the Irespan pilings and come swarming at us in their haste to reach the intact parts of the city. Didn't we just leave this party? Huge threw a spell to help us move through the rubble, Kelyn'S instant fortress made an appearance and Nina rushed inside. I Dimension Doored Saunders and I to the top. Saunders immediately lost his sword over the side and had to run back down to get it; I was about to be far too busy.

Nina tossed a Cone of Cold out a lower window and caused some inconvenience to the first wave of flying demons, so I hit them again with the Maximized version, dropping several in the process. I hardly noticed when Igniss shied away from me as I did it. Noticed an explosion near where I had last seen Kelyn, which wiped most of the goblins, and Huge had changed to Mastodon form and steamrollered his way straight into the still open gate. Macer was doing some kind of strip tease with his armor, and Lugh was entertaining Delvahine yet again. Wanted to lend a hand there, so smacked her with back to back Maximized Enervations. I don't think she likes me now.

Gate closed, and the new kid was getting involved. Huge hadn't come back, and Vex was nowhere to be seen (not unusual). I switched to Chain Lightning to thin out the swarm of giants approaching the tower. Oona and Kelyn seemed to be occupied in a little scrum off in right field, when I noticed a succubus approaching. Blipped Saunders and myself off toward Lugh to intercept (after my spellcrash failed), and we ultimately wasted her as she tried to escape again.

Is it over yet?

Well, THAT was easier than expected.

As we were discussing our plans for the upcoming battle against the Vampire Legion, Lugh announced that we'd already done it, that it hadn't gone well, and that he had miracled us back to form a new plan. Huh.

So we discussed what we'd "done" and decided to make a few changes. Since our shopping was done, we headed for the scene of the crime immediately, and simply took up residence in two unused rooms (the Liche off rebuilding his undead self, Daddy Vasilli not staying on the premises, and all the minions already dead), I claimed the master bedroom since I needed to sleep and study spells. On the way, I had picked up a few pitted bullets for a little "blue goo" vampire surprise I had concocted. Clued Vex in to the revised plan, and hit the sack.

Just about all the vampires arrived early, but they didn't really start the shindig until 2 pm; those jokers REALLY like to scmooze. They had an incredibly archaic parliamentary proceedure, and eventually voted Daddy in charge of the meeting. They called for another vote, this one concerning our liche buddy, but instead of announcing the result, Daddy opened the shutters and literally smoked half the attendees, THEN the fight started amongst the remaining blood suckers.

The fight was winding down with just Daddy and a minion up against another leech, when we burst from hiding and laid the smack down. Minion and rival bampthed away but Daddy came straight for Oona and tried to freeze her in a temporal stasis, which she shook off. I was ready to hit him with a dimensional anchor, but Lugh beat me to the punch, and the gang rallied round to pound Daddy into vampire jelly. I took a few steps to get a clear line of fire, and shot him with the special package.

I had told these guys when I joined that if they ever actually heard my rifle go off that meant things had gone pear-shaped in a big way, but I proved myself wrong. The blue goo took Daddy from a smarting, fighting, spitting undead to a squishy dead undead, to a dry dead undead, to a pile of bones to dust in seconds.

Oona kept hitting the pile. Daddy issues will do that; I guess she really wanted that pony.

A couple of us noticed about then that just about all of the remains had their vault keys, so while the others went hunting our two strays, Kelyn and I began policing them up. Looks like we've got a few paydays coming.

So, after picking up the pieces, we went back to the inn. Many of us needed to do some shopping, so I 'ported back to Magnimar to raid our dragon horde, noting how much of an advance I had taken on our next party split. Then back to Kaer Magga to shop; minor stuff mostly. Glove of storing, couple of lesser metemagic rods, beads of force, scroll or two. Then got some sleep before the party was to start.

Since we knew when the bloodsuckers were supposed to be gathering, my plan was to stake the place out early (see what I did there?) and send an extended, high level Arcane Eye in to the show, so that we could crash at the most opportune moment. Everyone agreed, and we set out and arrived an hour before the party was to start, figuring on the fashion plates arriving suitably late. Sure enough, two showed up and I read the scroll and sent my eye in after them.

Whoah, can you say disorienting? I followed the leeches into the darkened hall, and got the shock of my life: these weren't the first to arrive, they were the LAST! Oh crap, we have to go NOW! I started casting protective spells and reading scrolls like several of our lives depended on it, which they likely did, and we headed to the door. Kelyn opened it about as fast as turning the knob, and we just strolled in. I cast my last scroll to start flying, hit myself with the invisibility wand, and told Saunders to stick with Macer, as we took up positions in the T-corridor leading to the throne room.

I honestly expected Oona to kick things off, the way she froths at the mouth whenever someone even mentions vampires, but it was Lugh who tossed a couple of grenades onto a table as I was working my way into position to try to throw a bead of force onto daddy Vassilli. No such luck, but apparently Vex took the hint and dropped the shutters. Oh my, what absolute chaos! The stench of burning flesh quickly became overpowering as forty-some of the attendees burst into flame, but their screams were music to my ears. Huge and the rest burst into the room, and I lobbed my first bead onto the same table Lugh had hit with his grenades, that opening volley deserved a special followup as the leeches at that table were among the few who weren't emulating torches...

Here's my thing: I am unable to implement a plan without working through the math in my head, and it was immediately apparent that this one wouldn't work. I had to throw out the counterspelling idea and go on the offensive. I also let myself realize that there was no way that Nina could have access to Dimensional Anchor; she's a Magus (although she hardly acts like one. I don't think she's thrown a 'touch' spell since I've known her). Lugh was the guy for that, and he was a little pre-occupied what with Huge carrying him into melee and all. It would be up to me.

Saunders began his long run around the Incendiary Cloud/Cloudkill in the center of the room, and I Dimension Doored to meet him on the far side. Others moved into position. Poor Macer came lumbering out of the cloud just in time to have another Cloudkill dropped on him by accident; the Lich centered this one on himself, and then hit Huge with (I think) a maximized Enervation. He was getting pounded from all sides, but I managed to catch him with the Dimensional Anchor, so he wasn't going anywhere but back to his phylactery in Magnimar today if I had anything to say about it. Then he dropped yet another quickened Cloudkill on Saunders and I, and hit those around him with Horrid Wilting. I must say that Saunders and I got the better end of that deal!

The 'fighters' continued to smash bone chips off him, and I caught him with a lovely Spellcrash just before he collapsed into bone dust, and the room cleared of the killing green mists. I just about collapsed where I stood coughing up sour phlegm and what looked like part of a lung, while Saunders stood there looking stoic.

We completed a search of the room, and Vex and Kelyn found the means by which Daddy Vassilli intended to kibosh the Collective with sunlight: a hidden switch on the throne, and another in the balcony would allow him to open up the room shutters and blast them all into nothing. That portion of his plan gave us ours: we would disable the switch on the throne, and Vex would hide near the balcony switch in case Daddy decided to test things before the party. The rest of us would take the next 24 hours to load for bear (or sixty-odd vampires, as the case may be) and port in just as the festivities got underway. Hopefully the Collective would collectively do Daddy Vassilli some damage before we had to wade in and destroy whoever was left.

Wish us luck, no plan survives contact with the enemy.

Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been, well, months at least since my last confession. Actually, I'm not real sure about the sinning part. Everyone that I've been involved with killing was either a) already dead, or b) REALLY needed killing. I don't feel bad about any of that. I kind of feel bad about the blue goop that seems to be in almost endless supply. Just yesterday Vex and Huge raided another set of storage vaults of the Collective here in Kaer Magga. They haven't said anything about it, but there has been a stash of the stuff in every vault so far; it doesn't take a genius to figure out that a) they found more, and b) they are keeping it from the rest of us.

I worry about this stuff, especially since we discovered that it is basically distilled souls of sentient beings. Saunders has been unlucky enough to have had a couple of them forced down his throat when he was dying, and I got my first one (for the same reason) earlier today. Macer seems to suck them down like blueberry nectar whenever he has an excuse, and he certainly seems better off for it. He's nearly as good a fighter as Huge is now. Still slow as molasses (in every sense of the word), but I suppose we can't have everything.

Perhaps I should set aside my judgemental attitude; it certainly seems that we need all the help we can get in our current situation, and after all, we weren't responsible for making the stuff. Plus, there is as yet no evidence that we can cause any of the golem-folk to reanimate by using it on them (though it has yet to fail in any other circumstance we've tried), and the only "people" who seem to even know about the stuff (other than us) are the Vampires of the Collective. Isn't it better for us to use it for 'good' purposes? Yes, that is disingenuous at best, I've never really bought into any of that "the end justifies the means" crap. Too many good guys wind up becoming exactly what they hate that way.

I don't know, I've never been much of a philosopher. Perhaps if we get a break one of these days I will take some time off and invent a science of ethics. I'll have to invent some sort of symbolic logic first of course, but that shouldn't be too hard. That crazy magus Koriel we met in Sandpoint was smarter than most mundanes, and she said her erstwhile crush Freiderich was smarter; maybe I can get them interested and then just fix whatever they come up with. Nah, it would be quicker to just do it myself.

What with all this walking around ready to counterspell anyone we meet, I have too much time to think. We found the Lich's workshop, and it seems that he has modified Oona's dad with demonic tissue. He's likely immune to sunlight now, and other evidence points to him drawing the local Collective into this throne room arrangement tomorrow to destroy them en mass. I'm tempted to ask the others to retreat and let him accomplish that task so that we can come back and smash him in the aftermath (if any of them manage to survive long enough to do him damage that would be a good thing, and fewer vampires in the world is even better), but I know that Huge won't quit until he or the Lich is destroyed (haven't told him about the phylactery yet; his head might explode if he found out that the Lich will be back even if we win today). Also, if daddy is making a move now it means that he thinks he can take on the Collective everywhere, which means he either a) is expecting to gain something awful by way of sacrificing them by the dozens, b) wants to be the one and only super-demonic vampire and go off to rule the world from beyond the grave, or c) all of the above.

There is currently a stacked Cloudkill and Incediary Cloud between me and the Lich, and he thinks he's being cute by using still and silent on the spells. It will take more than that to keep me from countering him...IF I can get to a place where I can see him. I hope Nina has a Dimensional Anchor ready; from the sound of things, Huge, Macer and Lugh have him surrounded and my fear is that he will start quickened Dimension Dooring around the place like a pinball and we won't be able to gang up on him again. It's now or never.

"Hey, Saunders! Over here!"

We finished the last of the Sinspawn in the room (and even drew a few up from the stairway) before Huge and the others managed to fight their way up. I had to do a little maneuvering of my own once we forced the doorway, but I guess the creatures didn't see me as much of a threat compared to the bruisers swinging swords (and the hyperkinetic lizard with the dagger). Good thing, since it allowed me to get into position to use my last couple of lightning bolts without endangering my companions. I almost got Huge with one, but a quick sidestep on my part kept him out of the effect.

Huge was grinning ear to ear, in a better mood than I had ever seen him. I think I heard him bellow something about the "best day EVER!" as the last of the Sinspawn fell. The rest of us were about to breathe a sigh of relief when four demon-shadows showed up and the fight went on. I actually got hit by one of them (not very hard, thank goodness) before we managed to bring them down, and we hadn't lost a single kid (other than the ones that got fried down in the barracks). We gathered them up and headed for the way out, as I hoped there would be enough room in the boats.

I woke up to a terrific headache and Saunders sprinkling water in my face. I think Atz was actually chaffing my hands. I stood up with a little help, and Saunders asked if I was OK; other than the headache, yes, can I have my musket back please? I'm going to have to find some way to repay Oona for that little love-tap.

The "chapel" being empty, we closed the door and headed back downstairs. Saunders told me we were looking for Huge, who still hadn't shown up. Back down to the reception room, out the other secret door and down some more (is that salt water I smell? Oh, my head!), around a corner, up some stairs and around another corner... and the cat-b@#&* Nina is RIGHT THERE. Sounds of a fight and little kids sobbing in the room ahead as I begin to reload, and Saunders took my gun. Again. Can't you see that she has to die, you silly man? We start to wrestle for the weapon as others slipped past into the fray. Suddenly my hands were pinned and Saunders was stuffing a rag in my mouth. It didn't matter much since all that was coming out at that point was inarticulate screaming. Just one good head shot is all it would take (maybe dump a spell to add a little flaming burst; cat-b@@@+ likes fire)...

So rather than being unconscious with another lump on my head, Saunders trussed me up like a turkey and LEFT ME lying in the corridor. There was shouting in the room ahead, crackles of electricity and screams of dying children, I could hear Huge cursing as apparently someone got away again, and then Atz protesting about being let go until his voice was choked off. I guess somebody got Dominated and Saunders had another bit of filthy rag handy.

Uh-oh. Cat-b$+$! came around the corner and stepped toward me. I was looking daggers at her (all I could come up with) as I expected to die, but all she did was a targeted dispel... oh crap. Nina, I am so sorry! Saunders was allowed to untie me and we started heading back out shepherding a herd of surviving, sobbing children. Smelly little creatures, it's hard to believe I was ever like that. We crammed all the kids into the pool room, and Vex activated a switch on the first landing. A door pivoted to open the stairway up to the reception room, and Vex immediately switched it back. Bad guys, stacked in the stairwell.

New plan. Huge, Kelyn and Nina would stay here and fight their way up (hopefully), while I teleported Saunders, Vex, Macer and myself to the corner of the room behind them. Unfortunately, I missed a bit and we wound up back in the chapel. Back down the stairs with Vex and Macer in the lead only to find that the reception room packed with an acre of armored Sinspawn swinging bastard swords. I didn't have a clear field to use my last couple of damaging spells, so I had to resort to rays to weaken Macer's immediate opponents. We were fighting our way out, but this was taking a lot longer than expected...

So, I did the Cone of Cold thing and nobody dropped. Others sprint past and go to work on those in the room, and the crowd started doing their impression of panic. These were definitely not the crazed cultists that I was expecting. Macer seemed to be engaged with tying up the priest at the far end of the room, and Nina dropped a fireball in the middle, resulting in a whole lot of half-frozen crispy cultists; two of whom flew up on one side of the room.

I heard one of the fliers Dominate Nina (uh-oh, not that crap again. I've heard the stories about Sam), so I sent a mudball his way. I can't help it, it's the single most amusing spell I know. The target wiped the gunk out of his eyes and spoke to me in an incredibly beautiful and reasonable voice, "Shoot the flying woman until she dies."

So, I shot Nina. It's a good thing the caster was so specific, otherwise things might have turned out much worse for her. As I went to reload, Saunders stepped up and took my musket away, ever the practical minimalist, and then Oona punched me in the ear and the lights went out...

So, the guards were a pushover. While Huge was engaged with watching sharks tear a man to pieces (while wearing a sappy smile. Huge, not the ripped to shreds fellow), Kelyn produced a skeleton key and opened the door to the piling in short order. He and Huge stepped inside to the sounds of child-like singing; there seemed to be a bunch of kids playing in the entryway. Well, it turned out that they weren’t little kids, they were miniature harpys. I’m not sure if they were worse than little kids, but they were certainly tougher and their song seemed to fascinate Huge. Two of the little beasts started to lead him away as the rest of us engaged with the remaining horde.

Did I mention they were tough? It was taking a considerable time to hack our way through the flock; in the meantime Vex managed to snap Huge out of his fascination but the two critters leading him off didn’t seem to notice. They opened a secret door to another chamber (occupied by a desk and a human who seemed vaguely familiar), and Huge followed them inside where conversation ensued. Here’s my thing: if some of the group is fighting, it’s a little annoying when someone else who should be fighting too is holding a powwow with a bureaucrat behind a desk, so I decided to shut the guy up (couldn’t do much about Huge after all) and hit him with a ranged Ghoul Touch. He got a little smelly, but the only one of us affected by it was Vex and I’m not certain that he has a sense of smell. I had just intended to break up the chat for a few seconds, but Vex took advantage of the paralyzed condition of the fellow to slit his throat from ear to ear, and then turn the corpse to clean bones (shudder). That knife of his REALLY worries me.

After finishing off the harpys, we took stock and located two more secret doors; one with a stairway going up and one with a stairway going down. The party promptly split, and I got a little petulant, saying “guys, which way are we going? Do you really think we should split up?” The stairs down led to a room with a pool of water, the stairs up led to a door (which Macer announced in a loud voice while standing in front of). Crap. Saunders and I headed upstairs, just in time to see the door opened from the other side, and Macer vanish. Is there anyone in this group that can’t teleport on their own? Sometimes I feel like a fifth wheel; but then again, I haven’t been blamed (so far) for missing the destination by a few hundred miles. Anyway, I stepped around Saunders to the door, and saw a very LARGE room, completely FILLED with cultists at their church service, complete with recent human sacrifice on the altar. I admit it, I panicked. I didn’t even raise my rifle as I cast a Cone of Cold into the room; as far as I could tell, it caught everyone inside. Then Saunders grabbed me from behind and pulled me back as others rushed past. Kelyn, Nina and Vex for sure; I guess Huge is still downstairs…

Here’s my thing: outwardly religious people bore me. I know, Saunders and I have been hanging around with an Oracle and an Inquisitor for the last few weeks; but they don’t preach at me (or anyone else, as far as I can tell). So when the group decided to start listening to (and trying to make sense of) the street preachers and doomsayers that have been cropping up lately, I kind of found some other fish to fry; but when Nina sent word that the group was going to check out the old clock tower in Underbridge I thought we’d better hustle over there.

As we came up the street toward the crumbling, dilapidated public menace we could hear sounds of a commotion from within; and as we carefully made our way up the steps to the door, Kelyn burst out at a dead run. He threw himself down the broken stone steps with total abandon, never even glancing our way. I was rather amazed that he didn’t break his neck falling over all the ankle-rollers, but he reached the bottom and continued on up the street, the very caricature of a person in the grip of a magickal fear effect. Uh oh.

Saunders settled his shield, drew his sword and stepped in front of me; I did a couple of quick protective spells, laid an enhancement on my musket, and we stepped over the threshold. It was dim inside but we could make out a towering boney figure dripping gore, apparently just finishing stepping out of some sort of skin-suit. Memories of childhood stories about the Scarecrow flitted through my mind as Huge faced off against the thing. Whatever this thing was, it wasn’t the Scarecrow anymore; it had all the same earmarks of “modification” as the demon-ghouls we fought up at the Kaijitsu manor, and seemed to be cloaked in swirling necromantic shadows. Demon. Immune to electricity, resistant to fire and cold, maybe acid too; most of my spell repertoire went right out the window. So, as the others gathered around to do their thing to this new abomination, I hit it in the face with a Mudball spell.

The others had the opportunity to close in and get in some blows, but I could tell that there was some sort of retributive and regenerative effect to the shadows surrounding the thing. In seconds, it shook its head and cleared the mud from its eyes. It gave me a malevolent glare from across the room, and did a spell—suddenly everything in the tower, all the piles of junk, an old wagon, a cracked fallen bell, some sort of little animal skeleton—everything was falling upward, including us and the demon. As luck would have it, we only fell a short distance to the first ring of stairs and in a ballet-like exhibition of coordination, each and every one of us landed on our feet. The demon ended up on the next ring of stairs, about twenty feet farther “down” than us, but all the other trash and flotsam (including, gruesomely, the gobbets and fragments of the demon’s skin-suit) “fell” about sixty feet and came to rest out in the tower’s central shaft. Just to make sure, I leaned around the stairs I was standing on and sent an Acid Arrow at the creature (no effect, drat!).

Huge blinked back into contact with the monster, and Oona demonstrated a remarkable amount of agility as she flipped herself out into space and tried to grapple the demon as it fought him. The thing simply swatted Oona away, and she continued falling into the debris. Vex used his little flying-squirrel “wings” to glide down to help Huge, while I tried a little ranged Vampiric Touch… and missed. Embarrassing. The demon glared at me again and vanished. It took a second to find it again, another sixty feet “down” and across the tower from us. I glanced at the debris field (with Oona desperately trying to swim in midair) floating well “above” the demon and squinted in appreciation. It was clinging upside-down to the stairs, beyond the region of reversed gravity, hoping we would teleport or blink over to it and the fall helplessly back into the debris at the edge of the gravity field. Tricky!

Ducking past Saunders for a moment, I stepped over to Lugh with Saunders in tow, and asked, “do you want to be there?” indicating the demon with a gesture. His look of, “Duh!” was enough, and I Dimension Doored the three of us to the proper side of the stairs, just above the clinging monstrosity. Huge did likewise (Macer teleported to the wrong side of the stairs, silly boy, and fell back into the debris) with Vex in tow, and they went to work. In moments the demon shut off the gravity field and teleported again, and this time was nowhere to be found.

I considered it a minor miracle that the stairs hadn’t collapsed under us, and Saunders and I began carefully finding our way back to the floor; several of the others continued up the tower (flying for the most part, they aren’t THAT stupid). By the time Saunders and I reached the ground, they had returned with a tale of yet another demon-construct trapped on the roof, this one a Marilith (!!!). Our Liche buddy has been busy, and I’m so very glad that we elected for discretion in dealing with him.

Turns out that the gang had another lead to follow up, this time with a Sczarni gang, the Creepers, who seem to be hanging out at the Gull piling. We headed back out into town, collecting Kelyn in the process, and found a convenient dock to launch someone’s folding boat (the stuff these guys keep around in one or another portable hole is just astounding). Kelyn and Lugh sailed us in a circuitous route around the bay while Huge turned into a crow and flew and Vex elected to swim it. I’ve seen fish bigger than him get pulled out of that bay every day for most of my life, but that creepy little beast apparently doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” (as often as he asks other people and critters he encounters, I’m not sure he knows the meaning of “pain” either. Growing up thinking you’re a dragon has some lasting effects I guess).

We drew the boat up on the blind side of the piling and started making our way around to the (guarded) entrance. Vex popped up and described a “merman” guarding below, and a commotion started up at the entrance—Huge always has to start the show—as one of the guards suddenly decided to take a swim. That guard never made it out of the water: sharks, at least four of them, tore him apart as he tried to climb back out. The rest of us raced to the entrance, and Kelyn and Huge made mincemeat out of the remaining guard.

What do you do when you catch a vampire? You destroy it, right? Stake through the heart, cut off the head, throw it in running water (and in Oona’s case, yank its fangs to add to your necklace). But what if that vampire used to be a friend of yours, what then? Do you get sentimental and ask him to please not be an evil undead bloodsucker anymore? Here’s the kicker: what if you happen to have a means of restoring them to living humanity? Do you use it, trusting that it won’t be like forcibly cleaning up a pesh addict, or do you destroy it out of hand anyway? DOES IT DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE?

I guess that would depend on whether it became a vampire willingly or not, right?

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

So, at the big soire when Lord Kaijitsu was reintroduced to Magnimar, everyone brought their families along to the Deverin mansion. Everybody but Saunders and me, since we don’t have anyone. Anyway, Macer’s whole family was there along with everyone else, and it turns out that Macer has a younger sister. Sweet sixteen, lovely dress, cute as a button except for these two blemishes on her neck that look almost like… oh crap, they don’t just look like, they ARE. So I glance around and wind up exchanging a pale-faced, wide-eyed look with Nina. She starts whispering frantically to Kelyn, and I go find Lugh.

There’s a bit of a commotion when Macer finds out and backs his little sister into a corner. Someone produced a vial of some glowy blue goop, everyone else makes a little human wall while Macer gets the girl to drink it… and the marks go away, and the girl’s personality makes a rapid 180. I got the skinny from Nina about that stuff a bit later, but the gist is that the group took a bunch of vials of this blue goo from the hoard of a defunct vampire or two. If you drink the stuff, it seems to cure just about anything that might be wrong with you, up to and including death. Next time you take it, it will reset your “clock” to when you first took it—instant immortality if you were lucky (or unlucky) enough to get a dose early in life. I guess Kelyn’s mom had seen two vials of the stuff make a dying vampire hunting vampire into a live young man again. A truly devious mind (like mine) can see all sorts of nefarious uses this stuff could be put to, in addition to the obvious. This is Definitely NOT something that needs to be advertised!

Here’s my thing: I really don’t like keeping secrets, but some things you just HAVE to keep under wraps. Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, that sort of thing. With a whole country of vampires hunting my new companions, if the knowledge of this blue goo gets around life could get a little tough.

So anyway, long story short (too late), the gang’s old friend Epher is the bloodsucker who put the maximum hickey on Macer’s sister. Bad. Move. It now being personal, a plan is hatched to use Oona as a lure to bring Epher to where he can be dealt with. Oona will get a little bloody (don’t ask me how, I didn’t want to know that part) and slut it up down in the Dockway (no stretch there), with everyone else staking it out. Cannot possibly work, Epher knows these guys, why would he fall for it, right?

He fell for it. Vex spotted him shadowing Oona, and put the hurt on him. I think I heard Vex ask Epher if he still felt pain, but I could be mistaken. Epher flew away from Vex and wound up right next to Lugh, who did some sort of spell that caused Epher to emit a high-pitched scream (almost like a dying rabbit) as a spurt of smoke erupted from his forehead. This time, Epher took off straight up; I sent an acid arrow after him and missed but Nina lit up the sky with a fireball. I thought about sending a Cone of Cold his way, but knew that Huge was playing birdy up there somewhere and held off. Oona wound up like a major-league pitcher and hurled something at the flying guy, who spiraled up higher. Then Nina touched Vex and shouted, “Go!” and Vex flapped his ridiculous little wings and shot off after him.

In the end, Epher was turned to mist by Huge, we all followed the mist to Oona’s family mansion and we barged right in the front door. The servants protested but didn’t do anything to hinder us as we located Epher’s coffin and took it (him safely inside) down to Lugh’s temple project. Much discussion ensued. What do you do with a captured vampire that used to be a friend?

Anticlimax is anticlimactic. We implemented Lugh, Huge and Saunders plan, and spent the next three days luring the “ghouls” out of the tunnels a few at a time and killing them for real. Late in the third day, after waiting two hours for more to take the bait, we called it good on the demonic-modified ghouls, and entered the outbuilding that the liche was using as a part-time lab. There were three more ghouls in there in cages, which made them easy to deal with. Lab in the basement…

Here’s my thing: crazy people creep me out. There was an awful lot of meat in that lab; half-finished and discarded projects heaped around; tools, walls and floor crusted with dried blood; charnel house smell (even though nothing seemed to be rotting, it has apparently solved that problem), someone’s skin hanging from a peg. I understand that Oona had a really messed up family and childhood, but her crazy still creeps me out. The denizen of this place takes crazy to a whole new playing field. Yikes.

Huge located a scrap of parchment down there with a sketch of a comet or meteor on it, copied from a funny birthmark on the skin hanging from the peg. As the only written note in the whole place, it has to have some sort of significance but we don’t know what (or whom) it might have to do with.

We decided to vacate the premises (the liche was due back in a few hours) and decide on a course of action. Vex suggested forging a letter from the city and putting it on the gate, telling the liche that his base had been cleared out and suggesting that he find another playground. Most of us thought that was a pretty good idea, but Huge REALLY wanted to hand-deliver it on the point of his sword. Now, his sword is pretty big and he is really strong, but the rest of us weren’t so confident in our ability to put paid to this crazy undead thing’s account. Instead we voted for the note and stake-out (heh) idea; one nay, the ayes have it.

Long story short, guy shows up in his carriage (initially disguised as a black cloud), reads the note and drops it, talks to two… things… that fly out from the Kaijitsu estate, and then they all leave again. I don’t know about the rest but I was sweating bullets in my hiding place, expecting some sort of histrionics. At any rate, we know where it hangs its lab coat, so we can go and fulfill Huge’s desire when we feel up to it. Once it was gone we waited a bit and then took a powder ourselves to figure out how to gain entrance to the haunted mansion and finish the contract.

The next day most of us were discussing how to go about the final phase when Huge showed up with an old Tien guy in tow. He introduced him as Lord Kaijitsu, recently returned from haunting the mansion next door, and suggested we throw a party celebrating his return. Lord Deverin was more than willing to oblige, and instead of a careful crawl through a haunted house where everything was trying to kill us, we got a lovely party instead. I suppose I need to talk to somebody about future employment now…

About that time another werewolf charged us and tripped Saunders, just in time for two more dire wolves to join in. Roles reversed, I blazed away while Saunders fought from his back; he actually shield-bashed a wolf which tumbled back about 20 feet, but didn’t give enough of a breather for him to gain his feet before it rushed back in. Macer, Oona, Kelyn and Nina rallied ‘round for the fight, and we managed to kill our assailants at about the same time that Huge and Vex finished theirs. From the sounds of snarling and cursing coming from the pit, Lugh was fighting more ghouls, so we ran to his aid (except for Huge and Vex, who took off to gods know where).

Here’s my thing: I hate being wrong. Down in the pit was NOT a fun place to be. Whatever those things were, they were only peripherally related to ghouls. To start with, they spoke abyssal; they were also very tough and hit like a runaway team of horses. Lugh was having a tough time with two of them, and we could all hear the sounds of more of them coming along the tunnel from both directions—many, many more. The first two to come along hit Saunders, and he cried out in pain (something I’ve never heard before). He said, “a couple more like that and I’m dead. Everyone needs to get out of this pit, NOW!” Lugh stepped up to help him, as I scrambled back out and lent covering fire, with Saunders on my heels. Macer and Oona followed, and Nina and Kelyn came out in short order, as a swarm of new “ghouls” appeared from both directions, scrabbling and clawing past their fellows, and nearly engulfed Lugh as he sprang back up to the surface. We called the retreat, and Macer promptly took off in the wrong direction (though our shouts and pointing brought him back around).

We made it to and over the wall with only minor tripping and stumbling in our headlong flight, and gathered back at the Deverin mansion to take stock. Six of us, fighting with everything we had, had managed to kill just two of the ghoul-things before being overrun and routed. Eventually Huge and Vex returned to tell us that all the rest of the wolves and werewolves were dead; the “ghouls” had tunneled into their huts and killed them. Holy crap, had we misjudged the relative strengths of our opponents or what? Lugh, Huge and Saunders put their heads together and came up with a plan for dealing with the ghouls piecemeal, and we dressed our wounds and did some resupply before heading back the next morning. We only have three more days before the BIG bad guy shows back up…

“Yeah, friend of Felu, right. Come back tomorrow.” Here's my thing: I know that I don’t make the best first impression, but I expected … I don’t know, a different reaction. Sgt. Saunders and I made ourselves scarce. We went back down the hill to our (perfectly adequate, if you ask me) inn, and pondered what I had just done over a couple of ales (Saunders bought). I have potentially hitched our wagon to a bunch of strangers who may or may not be competent. I mean sure, some of them LOOK impressive (I’m talking about the gigantic norseman and the “cleric” or at least the guy with the holy symbol), but that doesn’t necessarily signify. Don’t judge a book by its cover and all that. They did manage to get my friend killed, after all. In the end, we decided that we need more data, and if we make it through this particular contract we can decide if it looks favorable for a more long-term association.

The next evening, we once again presented ourselves to Felu’s gang. The big norseman is Birgun, “the Huge”. At least seven feet tall, armor, two-handed sword, druid. Holy crap, if that guy is a druid, who are the fighters? Macer, shorter than Birgun, armor, big sword, cavalier. No horse in evidence. Kelyn and Nina, wispy swishy-poke and cat-girl magus. Princess Oona (not sure what she does other than complain and be eye-candy) and the “cleric” Lugh. At least he seems to have his head screwed on straight. A very quick, nervous little kobold named Vex, with a calculating eye; this creepy little beast will bear watching. There was a bit of conversation that was in the nature of a job interview, which we must have passed because we were included in the planning session for an assault on the Kaijitsu grounds tomorrow morning.

We would sneak over the wall, make the rounds of the outlying huts that the werewolves seemed to be using, and mop them up piecemeal. Twenty-some dire wolves and at least six werewolves. I don’t sneak very well, and neither does Saunders, but that didn’t seem to be much of a factor with the rest of the group. They said that they would fight as a group rather than split up, and after I brought it up, they established a common escape route (toward the main road) and rally point (back at the Deverin Manor).

We crossed the wall, and promptly split up. “Huge” shape-shifted into a dire wolf (his armor changed into barding, which was kind of cool. At least we could tell him from the rest), and set off at an angle to the route the plan had us taking. Vex stepped behind a bush and vanished, presumably backing up Huge. The rest of us looked around at each other, and gave a collective shrug as we followed. There was a brief pause near the first hut we came to, where the word “undead” had been scratched into the dirt; it was true, even I could smell the reek. We gave the hut a fairly wide berth and continued to follow Huge, who seemed to be approaching a werewolf. The bad guy had a bow, and I guess he heard or saw me, because suddenly I was a target. That’s right, pick on the new kid. I paused a moment to send a spell back downrange, and everyone else started jogging toward the target. There were other wolves about, but they didn’t seem terribly interested… until everyone got spread out; then they were on us.

I had to dimension door Saunders and I closer to the middle of the group from my vantage point on my back. I think I was the only one that got bit (remember to have that checked later, lycanthropy isn’t something I’m keen to experience), but we were all engaged pretty quickly. I was too closely engaged to even try to get up (I knew I’d just wind up on my back again), so I was throwing spells while Sgt. Saunders tried to get us clear. Oona stepped up then, and punched the wolf on me so hard that she knocked it out cold, and then imperiously ordered me to stand up and fight. The punch was impressive (I guess that’s why they keep her around), but the order was infuriating coming from the woman who had spent the last 20 minutes complaining about how much she had to spend on a new bow and arrows that didn’t even go with her outfit.

I got up, and the fight continued. I was mostly using little stuff, trying to conserve spells, but I had to let go with a Shout, and a little later a lightning bolt. Somewhere in there, a hole opened up under Lugh, and he started yelling for someone to toss him his spear. At about that time we got a short breather; a quick count showed one dead werewolf (two more closing rapidly), and 14 dead dire wolves (the howls indicate more of those coming, too). The tunnel that Lugh is in is looking more and more appealing…

Here’s my thing. I grew up in Magnimar, in the good part of town. I was even more of a mousy misfit when I was a kid than I am now, partly because I was blind as the proverbial bat before I got spectacles, partly because I didn’t have a dad, and partly because as a child I didn’t realize that most people are idiots and can be safely ignored. So long story short, I didn’t have too many friends. One of the other misfits (although less so than yours truly) was a dark-elf girl named Felu. Felu had her own gang that she hung out with most of the time, and I wasn’t included in that group (I wasn’t pretty enough for the stuck up one, Oona), but Felu was always nice to me.

About the time I was figuring out that I had a knack for magic, Felu and her gang all left town for various destinations. I was tired of being a short, mousy, bespectacled girl studying magic in Magnimar, and decided to go be a short, mousy, bespectacled girl studying magic elsewhere (also, mom decided to move and I was dragged along). So, I found myself in Absalom. Magic turned out not to be weird enough for me, and to my Magister’s chagrin, I started combining my magical studies with guns and gunpowder. There is something inherently attractive to me about the equalizing power of magic and firearms; shove a pistol in some cretin’s face and they are MUCH more likely to listen to what you have to say, especially if you’re a stocky 5’ 2” girl with glasses.

So with me, it’s guns and magic. Magister took to calling me “spellslinger” as a joke, but it backfired (heh) because I wholeheartedly adopted the perjorative. Had a few adventures and made quite a bit of cash, and somewhere along the way this crusty old soldier started following me around and shoving his shield in front of me to interfere with incoming swords and arrows. We get along, mainly because we are both pretty impossible to get along with, partly because I make sure he has all the best gear and cover his room and board, and partly because I think he has some kind of crush on me.

Here’s my thing. I don’t go for older guys, or really any guys or girls. I’m not saying it’s wrong, I just don’t have time. There are too many books to read, too much powder to mix, too much magic to do to waste time on any of that touchy-feely stuff. Plus, it’s icky. I’m not a virgin or anything, but seriously, have you guys looked at yourselves naked? All that stuff just kinda… hanging there off the front of you looks just silly and incredibly inconvenient. I don’t know how you put up with those things. Girls look better, but the nuts and bolts (heh) really aren’t any more appealing. Plus the fact that sex is fleshy and sweaty and gross if it’s done correctly. I just don’t have the time or inclination for that stuff.

So, after our last little mercenary group split up (I don’t much understand the allure of money, either), Sergeant Saunders and I were kind of at loose ends. Finding ourselves in Korvosa and not liking it much, I suggested we visit my old home town and look up my old girlfriend Felu. I thought it would be nice to let her know that I had become somewhat successful on my own terms.

I inquired at her old homestead, and they told me that Felu had taken to adventuring with her old gang, but that they hadn’t heard from her for a while, and gave me directions to her old boyfriend’s parent’s house, down in the dockway near the Bazaar of Sails. THEY gave me directions back up the hill to the Deverin estate, and said that Felu and her boyfriend Sam could generally be found there when they were in town. So Sgt. Saunders and I slogged all the way back up the hill, took a little while to freshen up for the visit to the gentry, and went to call on the Deverin estate. Nice place, and I got to meet up with Felu’s old gang.

The Sergeant and I introduced ourselves to the servant at the door and asked for Felu, at which name the stony-faced butler actually blanched a little, and showed us to a library. Lots of books I would like to check out if I get a chance, lots of trophies, and six very sad/angry/frustrated men and women of about my age, deep in discussion. I apologized for interrupting them and said that I was looking for Felu Waeglo, at whose name the cat-woman (Nina?) burst into tears and a thunderous look came into the faces of the men present. I took a step back and Sgt. Saunders’ right hand groped for a non-existent sword hilt; we both thought we were in some danger as I said, “did I come at a bad time?”

Oona (prettier and biatchier than ever) gave a snide little laugh and said, “well, it couldn’t be a whole lot worse.” A truly enormous norseman took over then, telling me that Felu had died and been taken bodily to Hell that very morning, and that her boyfriend had taken it very badly and left was well. They were in the middle of a contract and weren’t sure how to proceed. I introduced myself as an old friend of Felu’s, introduced my cohort Sergeant Saunders, and got the rest of the story from them. Contracted to clean up the Kaijitsu estate next door, werewolves, vampires, constructs and a visiting liche; waited for the liche to leave, snuck past the werewolves (good trick, that), entered the mausoleum to destroy the vampire (good opening move). Vampire has minions, boss vampire was very tough. Sam dominated, many fighters dropped (including Felu), eventual victory. However, Felu had sold her soul previously to end a demonic possession, and Sam had a large hand in her demise; it’s not terribly surprising that he’d gone off the deep end, especially considering his family’s “attachment” to Hell and its inhabitants.

I glanced at Sgt. Saunders, and he arched an eyebrow. So I got down to business, saying “well then, we’ve come at an opportune time. I think that the sergeant and I have some skills that you might find useful in finishing this contract, and as we are between jobs at the moment, I should like to place us at your service. This would seem a fitting way to honor the passing of my oldest friend.”