Competition, competition, competition. It's supposed to be the way guys operate, though I don't understand why. I love to hear compliments from anybody, doesn't matter who.
My guess is that some people don't know how to take compliments, so they cannot share compliments with others.
You're a studly puffin....and I'm straight. ;)
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You're a studly puffin....and I'm straight. ;)Competition, competition, competition. It's supposed to be the way guys operate, though I don't understand why. I love to hear compliments from anybody, doesn't matter who.
My guess is that some people don't know how to take compliments, so they cannot share compliments with others.
+1! Was wondering who'd play on his handle name first :)
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+1! Was wondering who'd play on his handle name first :)You're a studly puffin....and I'm straight. ;)Competition, competition, competition. It's supposed to be the way guys operate, though I don't understand why. I love to hear compliments from anybody, doesn't matter who.
My guess is that some people don't know how to take compliments, so they cannot share compliments with others.
Irony is delicious isn't it?
I think you answered your own question; I would tend to assume that it is a fear (or another word, if fear sounds a bit too harsh) of being thought of as homosexual.
As to why we straight women don't have a problem commenting on another woman's attractiveness, it is usually because we are oh-so-very envious of her expensive shoes. Or unbelievably perfect skin. Or eye color to die for. Or gorgeous hair that curls just perfectly without ever looking tangled or limp and never frizzy oh my god how I hate you so much Catherine Zeta-Jones...
*ahem* Pardon me.
because they aren't
...oh my god how I hate you so much Catherine Zeta-Jones...
LOL
*giggles* Honestly I think I could be persuaded to 'switch teams'. I admit the girl crush on Ms. Zeta Jones.
And that ...oily? sweaty? greased?... Mr. Crews? He is positively frightening in that photo. I recognize him but from where I don't know.
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I think it comes down to how insecure most guys usually are (coming from an insecure guy). It took me awhile to get to the self-confidence level where I could "admit" that another man is attractive without the need to qualify it with the obligatory "but i'm straight."
I think the rampant borderline homoerotic behavior present in the military helped some in that regard lol. Why are they worried about letting "out" gays in the military? They couldn't possibly act gayer than most of the straight soldiers.
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Terry Crews is awesome. There, I said it. What?Had to google him...dear lord! He's HUGE!
YouTube him and Old Spice... see what you get. :P
Actually, you CAN say "he's handsome (good-looking, dapper, etc)." Men used to do it all the time; they used to comment on each other's appearance and compliment each other when it was done well. The question is not, "Why can't we say that?". The question is "What happened to make us quit?"
Here are my theories:
1. Lowering the standards: somewhere along the way, men began to care less about their own appearance. They stopped wearing suits, hats, ties, etc. They stopped tucking their shirts in. They stopped combing their hair, and then they stopped cutting it. When one stops caring about his own appearance, it makes no sense to comment on the good appearance of another.
2. Reversing the standards: somewhere along the way, after the standards were lowered (and then the new low was accepted), it actually became fashionable to look "gritty," "rough," or "unkempt." It was the new machismo; if you had soot, oil, or grime on you; if your clothes were soiled and torn; and if sweat was dripping off your matted hair, you were the new "sexy." But, when you are considered sexy while filthy, you are disinclined to point out a handsome man.
3. Inventing new standards: somewhere along the way, men began to change their entire sense of manliness. Gone was the natural respect for women, since they had now masculinized themselves and effeminized the men. Gone was the respect of the elders, who lamented that the men were becoming wusses. Gone was the normal understanding of manhood. When that which served as your anchor has been tossed aside, your ship will be blown and tossed by every wind and current.
What we have now are homosexuals running amok, who have no problem telling another man how attractive his is. We have "metrosexuals" chasing after beauty creams in the same manner as women. We have slovenly losers living in their parents' basement who can't peel themselves away from their video games long enough to hold down a real job. And this surplanting of normalcy with abnormality is why we feel we must qualify our compliment with "...and I'm straight."
Of course, that's just my theory...
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What we have now are homosexuals running amok, who have no problem telling another man how attractive his is. We have "metrosexuals" chasing after beauty creams in the same manner as women. We have slovenly losers living in their parents' basement who can't peel themselves away from their video games long enough to hold down a real job. And this surplanting of normalcy with abnormality is why we feelwe must qualify our compliment with "...and I'm straight."
Nothing "abnormal" about homosexuality...happens all the time in nature, why should humans be the exception to the rule?
Nothing abnormal about wanting to look good and taking care of yourself...weren't you just criticizing a lack of manly upkeep?
Slovenly losers are bad, but a stereotype...this is the only behavior you have listed that is actually abnormal...
Yes... @Malachi Tarchannen : I think you had me until the last paragraph, since I couldn't tell if there was some well-intentioned, humorous sarcasm there or some uncomfortably negative stereotyping.
What we have now are homosexuals running amok, who have no problem telling another man how attractive his is.
Oh yes, all those horrible gays who dare to leave their closets and bombard other men with... compliments! The horror! *rollseyes*
This is a stereotype which is completely untrue of all the gay men I know. Most are scared to death to hit on another guy unless they know he's gay. Most struggled for years to come to terms with their sexual orientation for fear of being ridiculed, hated or even physically assaulted if people knew the truth about them. To say they are "running amok" is a ridiculous and homophobic idea.
We have "metrosexuals" chasing after beauty creams in the same manner as women.
You really need to learn about history before making comments like this. The whole manly aversion to makeup is actually a pretty new thing. Even just a couple centuries ago in western societies it was common for men to wear makeup. Human ideas about beauty and gender have fluctuated greatly over time and from one culture to another. Even just a century ago, women who were overweight were considered much more attractive than the skinny, athletic build western cultures desire today, for example.
What we have now are homosexuals running amok, who have no problem telling another man how attractive his is.
I can't see you, but this homosexual is pretty confident you're ugly in at least one sense of the word. That's probably pretty amok of me, but it's true.
I truly was not trying to offend anyone's sensibilities. The OP had asked why he could not offer a compliment to another man without feeling obliged to make a qualifying statement as to his sexual orientation. I assumed the topic was already open for discussion.
Regardless, since some seem to have ruffled feathers, allow me a chance to clear up my intent.
First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"? I fail to see why you think I'm afraid of sameness...
As to "metrosexuals": Yes, I'm aware that men used to wear makeup, and some still do. I thought the phrase "chasing after beauty cream like women" drew more distinction than "wearing makeup." If that wasn't clear to you, then maybe this will help: men who wear makeup, even for purposes of improving their appearance are not the same as men who act like women. I agree that human notions of beauty constantly flucuate, from one culture to another, and from one period of time to another. Perhaps there is a return to good hygiene and general care for one's appearance. Perhaps it's just another symptom of an effiminate culture.
At any rate, with some light-heartedness, I thought I'd share my "broad-brush" theories on why we men now find it difficult to compliment (or even notice) another man's appearance. I think the larger point to take from this is that, really, we shouldn't be "congratulaphobic."
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First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal.
Homosexuality is but another aspect of the very complex concept that is human sexuality. If anything, the entire concept of human sexuality (ie.- having sex for pleasure more than for procreation) is abnormal...not just the one aspect of it.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did
Because (most of) society (obviously not you) has finally reached a point in its civility such that open homosexuals need not fear open hatred or violence (for the most part) is the reason why you see more of homosexuals...not because they didn't exist in these numbers before now.
...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"?
It's obvious what your intent was behind using the phrase "running amok"...it most certainly was not in reference to more of them being out (i have seen other posts you have made).
I truly was not trying to offend anyone's sensibilities. The OP had asked why he could not offer a compliment to another man without feeling obliged to make a qualifying statement as to his sexual orientation. I assumed the topic was already open for discussion.
Regardless, since some seem to have ruffled feathers, allow me a chance to clear up my intent.
First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"? I fail to see why you think I'm afraid of sameness...As to "metrosexuals": Yes, I'm aware that men used to wear makeup, and some still do. I thought the phrase "chasing after beauty cream like women" drew more distinction than "wearing makeup." If that wasn't clear to you, then maybe this will help: men who wear makeup, even for purposes of improving their appearance are not the same as men who act like women. I agree that human notions of beauty constantly flucuate, from one culture to another, and from one period of time to another. Perhaps there is a return to good hygiene and general care for one's appearance. Perhaps it's just another symptom of an effiminate culture.
At any rate, with some light-heartedness, I thought I'd share my "broad-brush" theories on why we men now find it difficult to compliment (or even notice) another man's appearance. I think the larger point to take from this is that, really, we shouldn't be "congratulaphobic."
Your first three points were good and I can definitely see them in the past three generations. On that note it is disturbing to hear your mother waxing poetic about Viggo Mortensen because he's that perfect amount of "sweaty and dirty".
Your conclusion, however, is somewhat lacking because you, even if it's not explicit, suggest a return to the way things were with their strict gender roles and repression of self-expression. Rather your argument would have been better received if you'd recognized the "effeminite culture" as the transient period that it is, along with the Baroque, the Romantic, and the Classical periods. Your "effeminite culture" is nothing more than a stopover in an evolution into a culture where gender expression is less dictated by the ideals of the past and more by personal preference.
Your first three points were good and I can definitely see them in the past three generations. On that note it is disturbing to hear your mother waxing poetic about Viggo Mortensen because he's that perfect amount of "sweaty and dirty".
Your conclusion, however, is somewhat lacking because you, even if it's not explicit, suggest a return to the way things were with their strict gender roles and repression of self-expression. Rather your argument would have been better received if you'd recognized the "effeminite culture" as the transient period that it is, along with the Baroque, the Romantic, and the Classical periods. Your "effeminite culture" is nothing more than a stopover in an evolution into a culture where gender expression is less dictated by the ideals of the past and more by personal preference.
Would that all could disagree with such elegance and grace.
How secure is a man? I'm comfortable with who I am. I'm in my mid-30s, balding, and I'm carrying some extra weight. Skin has annoying habit of clogging. I'm not handsome. I can admit to that. I have no problem with complementing another man on his good looks, whether those looks are due to attire, genetics, hygiene, or other factors. I'm heterosexual as well. When you get down to it, I recognize that there are men who are better-looking than me. I'm unlikely to complement those who benefit strictly from genetics though I'll admit to their pleasing appearance. Those who have to work at it (clothes, hygiene, etc.) I'm more likely to complement. In the end, I'm content in my skin, and I can complement another man. If a guy's got the looks, good for him, I hope they get him something in life. Am I jealous? Maybe, maybe not. I acknowledge that the other guy has something I lack that I might want, so to me it's worth the effort to complement the guy. I don't make a habit out of it, since it's unusual behavior, but I'll do it.
Straight men have ways around all this with comments like...
"Did you get a haircut?" trans. "Your hair is nice."
"Nice tie." trans. "That tie goes well with your outfit and matches your eyes."
"New suit?" trans. "New suit?"
Other (sexist) similarities:
Woman: "What a beautiful kitchen! The dishes and drapes match your eyes!"
Man: "Nice car, dude! Green suits you."
My book, How to Understand the Mouth-Breathers: A Psychological Study of Men Who Love Pancakes and the Women Who Wish They'd Spend Less Time Doing Man-Things, goes on sale at B. Dalton's this Friday.
Man: "Nice car, dude! Green suits you."
Funnier: "Nice car, dude!" trans. "Expensive car, dude! You must be compensating."
First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
First, homosexuality is normal if you mean that people have been entering sexual relationships with the same sex for thousands of years. In fact, many cultures have social categories that acknowldge these bonds with the same sex. Do a little bit of research and you will find that the ancient Greeks, Native Americans, Australians, and Japanese (amongst many others) all had traditions acknowledging homosexual relations. So why is it only recently that gay people have been demonized to such a degree in Western culture?
To answer the OPs question, I don't have a problem telling my wife when I find a guy attractive. Perhaps that is because she is the only person I trust enough to not worry about getting beaten up or worse.
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First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"? I fail to see why you think I'm afraid of sameness...
Ok if you want a proper explanation as to our "running amok" Here it is from a homosexual. It goes back to pre 1960's Back at that time in North America if one was homosexual one kept quiet, unfortunately if one was found out to be a homosexual sodomy was illegal, and we faced very real danger of physical violence and yes murder. It was more common than we liked so we started forming communities in large cities such as the Castro in San Francisco, and the Village in Toronto. If one was gay the best option was to go to one of these communities where we could protect ourselves. Still the police raided our bars, arrested us and yes people murdered us. People began to propose we come out of the closet, if we are visible sure they can bash, and kill us easier but if they do it can't be swept under the rug or hidden (which happened more than its fair share as well). We started pride parades as way to make people know we can't survive as an invisible minority. In modern day we do what we can to appear in media to battle heterosexism and to gain complete equality and acceptance to be treated like a normal person just like everyone else.
Now as to the original topic. Don't let most men fool you they can tell what is attractive about the same sex, (not saying your "attracted" to that other male just that you know whether women will find them attractive) it's just not masculine to do so. On a biological level if you know what your competitions attractiveness level is you have that much better chance of passing on your genes, since you have an idea where you stand.
Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!
I have read none of the above posts. As a strait man my only reasoning here is simply I do not know what is attractive in a man. I honestly am flabbergasted by what women think is attractive in a man. Or what their criteria is. I can tell if a woman is attractive. Although I must say I am not and never have been a fan of Angelina Jolie and wonder what other guys think she is so attractive, other then her money.
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I have read none of the above posts. As a strait man my only reasoning here is simply I do not know what is attractive in a man. I honestly am flabbergasted by what women think is attractive in a man. Or what their criteria is. I can tell if a woman is attractive. Although I must say I am not and never have been a fan of Angelina Jolie and wonder what other guys think she is so attractive, other then her money.
That her lips can be used as a flotation device.
I have read none of the above posts. As a strait man my only reasoning here is simply I do not know what is attractive in a man. I honestly am flabbergasted by what women think is attractive in a man. Or what their criteria is. I can tell if a woman is attractive. Although I must say I am not and never have been a fan of Angelina Jolie and wonder what other guys think she is so attractive, other then her money.That her lips can be used as a flotation device.
Maybe?
*scratches head* I just don't get it with her.
Perhaps it's just another symptom of an effiminate culture.
This equation of femininity with degeneracy is really not improving your looks any. I think you need a makeover. Maybe some pastel sweatervests? I know you like the conservative look, so you can wear them with simple white button-downs and ties that match your eyes.
I have read none of the above posts. As a strait man my only reasoning here is simply I do not know what is attractive in a man. I honestly am flabbergasted by what women think is attractive in a man. Or what their criteria is. I can tell if a woman is attractive. Although I must say I am not and never have been a fan of Angelina Jolie and wonder what other guys think she is so attractive, other then her money.That her lips can be used as a flotation device.Maybe?
*scratches head* I just don't get it with her.
Mainly her mind. She's known to be -ahem- adventurous in terms of her nocturnal activities. As far as I can tell guys really like the fact that they can fantasize that Angelina Jolie would not be adverse to taking the lead, dragging him off to have her way with him, or joining him and his girlfriend for a threesome. And the she "confirms" that those fantasies aren't in vain through the adventurism she freely admits to.
So, yes, mainly her mind and that she's unafraid of letting people know that ::shock!!:: she has sex. And it's fun.
That and she played Lara Croft.
I have read none of the above posts. As a strait man my only reasoning here is simply I do not know what is attractive in a man. I honestly am flabbergasted by what women think is attractive in a man. Or what their criteria is. I can tell if a woman is attractive. Although I must say I am not and never have been a fan of Angelina Jolie and wonder what other guys think she is so attractive, other then her money.That her lips can be used as a flotation device.Maybe?
*scratches head* I just don't get it with her.
Mainly her mind. She's known to be -ahem- adventurous in terms of her nocturnal activities. As far as I can tell guys really like the fact that they can fantasize that Angelina Jolie would not be adverse to taking the lead, dragging him off to have her way with him, or joining him and his girlfriend for a threesome. And the she "confirms" that those fantasies aren't in vain through the adventurism she freely admits to.
So, yes, mainly her mind and that she's unafraid of letting people know that ::shock!!:: she has sex. And it's fun.
That and she played Lara Croft.
Yeah I did not care for her as Lara Croft. I thought she was cute in Hackers but that was LONG ago.
Yeah I can understand the, uh hum, adventuresome attitude she has. It died the moment she started dating let alone married Billy-Bob. So yeah I have never had any fantasies about her. A lot of other starlets yes. Just not her.
First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"? I fail to see why you think I'm afraid of sameness...Ok if you want a proper explanation as to our "running amok" Here it is from a homosexual. It goes back to pre 1960's Back at that time in North America if one was homosexual one kept quiet, unfortunately if one was found out to be a homosexual sodomy was illegal, and we faced very real danger of physical violence and yes murder. It was more common than we liked so we started forming communities in large cities such as the Castro in San Francisco, and the Village in Toronto. If one was gay the best option was to go to one of these communities where we could protect ourselves. Still the police raided our bars, arrested us and yes people murdered us. People began to propose we come out of the closet, if we are visible sure they can bash, and kill us easier but if they do it can't be swept under the rug or hidden (which happened more than its fair share as well). We started pride parades as way to make people know we can't survive as an invisible minority. In modern day we do what we can to appear in media to battle heterosexism and to gain complete equality and acceptance to be treated like a normal person just like everyone else.
Now as to the original topic. Don't let most men fool you they can tell what is attractive about the...
Just read your post Jeremy and I can honestly say that I can not tell what is attractive in a guy. I just do not see it. I can with women. I can understand when another woman says a woman is attractive even if she is not attracted to her in 'that way.' I am clueless as far as guys go. Is he in shape, has a confident attitude, ok I can get that, but anything else, I am lost.
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Here's what I've picked up over the years: listen to the women in your life, and when they tell you or you overhear them say a certain person is attractive, pay attention to the physical aspects mentioned. Apply those aspects to men you see on the street. While you may not personally understand why a cleft chin is attractive, or a flat nose is not, you may at least be able to recognize what a woman is likely to find attractive.
Another method is to recognize features in other men that you want to emulate or wish you could--that's essentially what women are doing when they compliment one another.
Hey Malachi, pretty cheekbones. I Like the hair.
Here's what I've picked up over the years: listen to the women in your life, and when they tell you or you overhear them say a certain person is attractive, pay attention to the physical aspects mentioned. Apply those aspects to men you see on the street. While you may not personally understand why a cleft chin is attractive, or a flat nose is not, you may at least be able to recognize what a woman is likely to find attractive.
That's essentially what I do on the rare occasions I'm asked to consider a woman's beauty or attractiveness.
Never had a problem telling another man he's attractive, heck I've even kissed one once (we'd just won a penalty shoot out) - I do however have a hard time telling women I don't know that they look good because I get nervous about them mistaking it for me hitting on them.
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...First, since we are talking about human behavior, and not that of worms, amoeba, or other asexual creatures, I think it's entirely fair to say that homosexuality is abnormal. It always has been, whether decided for reasons of religion, procreation, health, or otherwise.
Since homosexuals were once not nearly so prevalent as they are today, and since one cannot watch TV, movies, political speeches, listen to the radio, read the paper, or go most places without hearing something about them, from them, or in response to something they said or did...I think it's a fair estimation that they are "behaving in an unrestrained manner." As to this phrase being evidence of "homophobia"? I fail to see why you think I'm afraid of sameness...Ok if you want a proper explanation as to our "running amok" Here it is from a homosexual. It goes back to pre 1960's Back at that time in North America if one was homosexual one kept quiet, unfortunately if one was found out to be a homosexual sodomy was illegal, and we faced very real danger of physical violence and yes murder. It was more common than we liked so we started forming communities in large cities such as the Castro in San Francisco, and the Village in Toronto. If one was gay the best option was to go to one of these communities where we could protect ourselves. Still the police raided our bars, arrested us and yes people murdered us. People began to propose we come out of the closet, if we are visible sure they can bash, and kill us easier but if they do it can't be swept under the rug or hidden (which happened more than its fair share as well). We started pride parades as way to make people know we can't survive as an invisible minority. In modern day we do what we can to appear in media to battle heterosexism and to gain complete equality and acceptance to be treated like a normal person just like everyone else.
Now as to the original topic. Don't let most men fool you they can tell what
Well if what human sexualioty courses have to say are true 1 in 20 guys really can't, (same for women)
Well if what human sexualioty courses have to say are true 1 in 20 guys really can't, (same for women)
Nah, they can, those are just the ones who rolled a 1 on their check when they were doing the testing. ^_-
How come straight guys can't say another guy's attractive?
Because straight guys are not attracted to other guys. Straight guys are attracted straightly to women. Unless they aren't that straight... Thus, the term straight, I assume.
Unless they aren't that straight... Thus, the term straight, I assume.
They're not really straight; it's just a phase they're going through.
Unless they aren't that straight... Thus, the term straight, I assume.They're not really straight; it's just a phase they're going through.
Straight guys aren't straight? Being attracted strickly to females is just a phase. Ha. That sounds like a metrosexual man's assumption. There's a difference between recognizing someone's merits and to being attracted to that person. Recognizing that another guy has the merit that is good looks, doesn't mean that you find him attractive. For example: You have a friend who has the merit of looking good. You are happy for him if you are straight. His good looks gets the females' attention, and that works well for both of you. Another example: You see a guy. You might feel utterly indifferent for him, you might admire his acting skills, his moral code or his style, and you recognize that many women find him attractive. Often this is what starts a trend or popularity icon for those who does not recognize that that person isn't really that different from themselves. He has merits. He has flaws.
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Just read your post Jeremy and I can honestly say that I can not tell what is attractive in a guy. I just do not see it. I can with women. I can understand when another woman says a woman is attractive even if she is not attracted to her in 'that way.' I am clueless as far as guys go. Is he in shape, has a confident attitude, ok I can get that, but anything else, I am lost.
Good point. We're not specifically taught what is considered an attractive male like women are taught what makes a woman "attractive". Most mags, books, etc., aimed at men deal with guys doin' something to achieve a goal, with attractiveness at a minimal priority.
Straight guys aren't straight? Being attracted strickly to females is just a phase. Ha. That sounds like a metrosexual man's assumption.Unless they aren't that straight... Thus, the term straight, I assume.They're not really straight; it's just a phase they're going through.
I was joking. :) "You're not really gay; it's just a phase" is one of the stock phrases parents have in the stereotypical coming out story. Another popular one: "Have you tried not being gay?"
There's a difference between recognizing someone's merits and to being attracted to that person. Recognizing that another guy has the merit that is good looks, doesn't mean that you find him attractive.
And I agree with all of that. Of course it's really easy for me to imagine someone finding a guy attractive since I'm in the habit myself. Does he have big, pretty eyes you could go swimming in? *swoon*