Rescue, you say? Do you require the services of the world's most lethal man, master of the forbidden art of Spam Slack, and four times winner of the Cucumber Tea, from which only one contestant can leave ALIVE?!
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And to prove that we are totally serious martial artists, oh yes, we finished off tonight's session with a KNIFE-CHUK DUEL. I didn't hit myself in the head more than twice.
'Ninja Hands Of Death' by Ashida Kim. I taught him everything he knows, you know.
I Blame Cosmo for all the security cameras we have covering my work space.I Blame Cosmo that I'm not allowed to throat punch homophobes at work. You require the lethal skills that are only supplied by , the most devastating martial art known to man! Inescapable! Unstoppable! Unbeatable! Freeze a man's brain and make his face explode with a mere thought, only with Taught to Count Deadley by the Bong Wok Nuns of the Shrouded Fist, So Powerful They Cannot Exist, will transform you from a flabby weakling into a TRUMPET WITH MUSCLES OF WOOL at over 40 times the speed of thought - guaranteed!* Some genuinetestimonials: "Financiers begone! Now I will only bestow my favours on Master Sensei of " - Anastasia, a damp twerp** "I was a crime lord***, until I came up against a Master Sensei of . He paralysed me with his Eagle Snarl, then crocheted my nervous system with a mere thought. I have now seen the light and intend to lead an honest life as a newsagent" - John Ghoti, a crime lord. "It is a lie that they**** slipped some poison into my wine, then I drank it up and said 'I feel fine'. In fact, thanks to the Quivering Prod of a Master Sensei of , I expired almost instantly 15 years later, thus ridding the world of a scoundrel" - Rasputin, a Monk of Great Renown. - let the power of the Pink Monastery surround you!!!! * In the event of catastrophic failure, blame Cosmo
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