Confused Paladin's page

"It's clear guys. No one's here. Come on in, and lets get this party started."

"Hello! Anyone home?"

If a confused paladin takes a nasty deuce after the female halfling has fallen in, is that evil?

I did NOT fall in the woods with that wyvern!

Code of Conduct v2.0:

A paladin must be ultra-lawful mega-good in all things, and never be played as a player character, because if you are retarded, and not nearly pious enough to play one, unless you swear to automatically spell doom for your party, as you are required to give up any element of surprise, grant the enemy the advantage in every fight, and always have your cohort diviner ready to see through illusions, even if it is risking his life. You are also expected to die in every encounter, so you can be SURE that the enemy doesn't want to surrender. Also, you must take their surrender, even if they spat on your offer to surrender before it was the only option to save their hides after defeat, fully knowing that corrupt officials will free the culprit so he can return to kill your children and serve their souls to Asmodeus. Because if you care more for your beautiful children than a godless man-eating monster, you simply are not PURE enough to play a paladin.

A paladin may never flank, use higher ground, strike from horseback, attack someone under any form of debilitating effect (yes, having a runny nose counts), cast spells, use a magical weapon/armor, fight anyone with a CR lower than his, roll a natural 20, use a reach or ranged attack in any shape or form, as any of these WILL be considered "dishonorable" by someone. Also, never eat meat (might be from a sweet little LG orphan that was killed, cooked and served to trap you), drink (contents of the cup might be a polymorphed LG baby girl with blue eyes, that is now trapped as a fine-sized water elemental) or breathe (as he might accidentally inhale and swallow a sentient LG insect)

You should always roleplay your paladin as a whiny betterwisser, and annoy the party at least once per 10 minutes, ruin their plans if they can be seen as "dishonorable" in even the most contrived out-of-context hyperbole, and definitely never do anything that might come off as "Cool" because that might offend the GM. Also check with your GM if you have done anything...

*puts down teacup* In favor of this newest revisement of the Code! *mumbles: As I would loose my powers if I wasn't*

Greetings Leafar. I can answer you that. The Evil Wyvern originates from the "Is this an evil acts thread?", and I am hunting it so that I can eat it.

What if you eat the puppy? Is that evil? Or is it just evil in how you prepare said puppy?

My alignment allows me to eat anything regardless of it's alignment, as long as I am hungry.

Confused Paladin wrote:

If you are a paladin, everything is considered an evil act, unless it's drinking tea, discussing the Code of Conduct and eating monsters(?), apparently...

"Hey would you like a free holy avenger? I got loads of em"

Thanks, but no thanks. the second-newest revisement of the Code of Conduct prevents me from wielding anything else than the new Paladin sword of subdual damage, which I am prevented from pulling out of the scabbard by the Code of Conduct's newest revisement. But I wouldn't mind hunting a monster and eating it. Boyo, I sure am hungry!

If you are a paladin, everything is considered an evil act, unless it's drinking tea, discussing the Code of Conduct and eating monsters(?), apparently...

1} I was originally swayed by the argument that Erastil should permit and encourage a hunt. Upon further reflection, this wasn't hunting. This was slaughter. If the paladin was hungry, fine.

Does anyone else fancy some delicious wyverntail meat to go with their tea? I sure am hungry! Maybe we should catch some monstrous spiders for dessert.

Tea anyone?

We must bring religion, sophistication and law to the wyverns of this country, and the best way to do it is by leaving our swords in our scabbards, as always, and have a nice, hot warm cup of tea with them :)

I LUV TEA! Tea is an essential part of our Code of Conduct. We actually made up the Code of Conduct while drinking tea with a pair of rather nice demons.

Mr.Fishy wrote:

Honor is not an easy path to walk, if it were people would not gauge their worth by it.

There is a fine line between being nice and being naive.

Quotes aside:
I would have liked for the paladin to be here to defend himself. These things always take a spin when both sides of the story are presented.

Who, me?! I didn't make love to the sleeping wyvern, I swear!

All i can say is, what goes around comes around. How players treat the NPC monsters in game, is how the GM should treat the players in game.

So if the players kill the monsters, the GM should kill the players?

I always thought the code of conduct prohibited us from parlaying with evil monsters and wretched demon. If that's not the case, then now I can finally hit on that succubus I've always had a crush on. Then we can build a house on a hill with a fence and a guard wyvern and all, and have alot of little tieflings who can play ball with the heads of those who intrude on our territory.