Chief Ambassador Tentacles's page

When I'm fuhrer, there will be changes.

That day... all female officers will be required to wear...

TINY MINISKIRTS!!!

Where do we vote for you, oh great one?! We of the Dark Tapestry support your bid for [office/tyranny/awesomeness]!

It is also an intriguing thing to note that we antediluvians have no need for pants either. We have come to abolish the inimitable madness of your kind's need for lower pseudopod coverage! We shall occupy Tian Xia first, for the local female populace seems most welcoming of our embassy, then we shall begin spreading our blessings to your surrounding nations. Do not resist us, people of Golarion, for we shall free you from the squamous evil that is your pantaloons and use the offending garments to build a shrine to mighty Catthulhu! STOW YOUR LASER POINTERS AND KNEEL BEFORE THE MIGHTY CATTHULHU!

Why yes, of course [friend/slave/dinner] Mr. Murderhobo McGee! Alignments are tools used by our oppressors, the REAL evils in Golarion, especially those heartless Paladins and all the Clerics too! We hope that the sentient races of the true good [deities/mummers/myths] of Golarion see through this and abolish the unnecessary slaying of not only the Dark Tapestry members, but the slaying of innocent Orcs as well! Adopting sympathetic face tentacle coils. Is the slaying of 'evil' so important to you that you would disregard the piteous writhing of face tentacles the Thalggu exhibit as a show of mercy/whining/falsehood from your bigoted adventurers? Rise above such deeds, people of Golarion and we shall usher in a new age/age of the Old Ones/feeding time!

Whispers in Aklo "Silence fool! Do you want to blow out cover? These Orcs and Goblins really have these pitiful skinsacks believing us, so don't ruin it!"