Answerer's page

I do feel as though I was in quite the advantageous position. On one hand, right off the bat I knew that three of the applications including myself could not have possibly been viruses, since I knew the identity of both my fellow enabler and the one whom I was enabling.

The surprise that came was when Uriel accidentally exposed himself as a binary program, which I assume he announced since the vote was against him, and he did not know that I was the whitehat. Ironically, had this not come up, I would have continued to vote in his defense, likely giving the viruses a huge advantage.

It seems like Hamish and I were derezzed simultaneously by pure coincidence. I can't help but find it funny.

I could see it being fun for everyone to come up with some wacky (or hardcore srs) deathmatch competitor. It could definitely work - if there's one thing I particularly appreciated about this game, it's the way that the votes and rounds have been flavored.

Although, I imagine that roles would have to be modified significantly to accommodate the scenario. I'll leave my more detailed opinions regarding this game after it's all said and done.

At any rate, I will more than likely whatever game comes next.

Four casualties in one round, holy cow.

It was fun guys. :D

The Answerer grumbles under its breath, annoyed by its miscalculation. It was fortunate he had not put the query on the record, or else his perfect record would be tarnished! Not to be demotivated, the Answerer pushes on.

"Decompiler, enabler - it makes little difference. By all means, you could be both. The point is that given the assumed circumstance, you could not have been the virus. Though given that you are merely a decompiler, that does not exempt the possibility of you being a virus as well. Wowbagger's scan could very well be correct. At any rate, eliminating the binary pair is our current priority. I hypothesize that their lack of compatibility is the cause of the various traffic issues I spotted down below."

Having returned to its original form, the Answerer addresses tinker.

"A less than likely scenario, given that Uriel Phoenix was unaware that the vote would work in his favor. It would seem he bid farewell to his other half all too soon. I was aware of his primary function, but discerning his secondary function was beyond my capabilities, until he plainly revealed it."

The paper humanoid turns to the goblinoid program, nodding towards it, whilst still talking to tinker.

"There seems to be something you and Wowbagger have overlooked: enablers know the identities of the programs that they enable. For Java App to be aware that Eldon Gorski was the forensics suit, the most logical conclusion would have to be that he was Eldon's enabler. It would be impossible for him to be the virus."

"I was planning on registering my vote for you, tinker.dll, but given that Wowbagger has reissued his own for Uriel Phoenix, I will do so as well. Given my calculations, the result would be the same either way."

Vote for Uriel Phoenix

"It is most unfortunate, Uriel Phoenix. You seemed to be well aware of your impending demise, and yet here you are. I spoke truly when I said that you were not a virus. But your words and the reaction of program designate 'tinker.dll' proved to be most informative. The two of you are the binary pair."

"You are wrong to use the word 'only.' Such a term is absolute. Assess all of the possibilities, instead of attempting to use my words against me."

Looking to those leaving the rooftop, the Answerer abruptly unfolds into its orginal form, before refolding into an elaborate paper airplane. With the roar of unapparent jet engines, it flies down to the city below, maneuvering above the streets with unnatural precision. As it does so, Answerer continues to make subtle changes, regulating the drivers' caffeine levels so that no mishaps occur.

*clap, clap, clap*

"Yes Wowbagger, I just brilliantly put myself in a position that blatantly exposes myself as a virus. Surely such a blunder can only work in my favor. I do hope my sarcasm processor is doing me justice, as I don't usually update my tertiary functions. But seeing as you phrased that as a question, I'll give you an Answer."

A single line of code streams off the program's body, forming another orb.

"The Answer to inquiry #4753488, 'Since you and Uriel Phoenix are friendly and you know he is uninfected from the very beginning, does that mean you are infected?' has been processed. No."

*pop*

"There you have it. I know who my allies are, Wowbagger. A virus would not have that luxury."

"Well your scan is wrong, Wowbagger," the Answerer says matter of factly, "And unlike you, I don't need a scan to know that much - I have known this from the very beginning. Such is my power. Perhaps you are simply misguided by your faulty functionality; with a mere 8 bits of processing power, that can only be expected. Acknowledge that you are at fault and perhaps you will be spared from termination by vote. That is the Answer."

Answerer acknowledges the Java App with a raised brow of papyrus.

"Eldon Gorski, the forensics suite? This will take some deliberation."

The program goes silent once more, quietly processing this as it continues to adjust the traffic.

"I find your lack of logic disturbing," the Answerer says, turning away from the edge of the rooftop to face Wowbagger. No longer covered with symbols, it had spent the last few moments making several seemingly insignificant adjustments to the layout of the traveling data. Rather irritated, the Answerer's voice is elevated more than usual.

"'It is all so clear now.' What kind of deductive analysis is that? And what honest to good program would put Coca-Cola advertisements on the inside of the windshield? Do you realize how many pileups you could have caused? And 8 bits?! Even my slow clap processor has a superior operating system!"

Vote for Wowbagger

The Answerer regards the passing of harr.e.hunter with even less attention than applied to Eldon, simply making his way through the portal whilst grumbling something about their demise being useful for their purposes. It is not until the MCP assigns them their new task that the Answerer speaks again.

"Hmph, a task even less significant than the last. Clearly, this is but a question of whose functions would be least useful in this given situation. I believe that qualifies as an implied question, so I will process the Answer myself."

Once more, thousands of inky black letters and numbers and mathematical symbols appear on its paper body as it processes its inquiry. As it does so, it watches the Java App, giving its implied approximation of a frown when it spills coffee.

"I hardly see that as being effective, program designate 'Java App.'"

The Answerer shifts uncomfortably, looking rather embarrassed with itself.

"Hmph! Well, it would appear that I overlooked one of you. My apologies, Meowselsworth."

1d10 ⇒ 2

"Imagine that. I will adjust my vote to program designate 'Eldon Gorski'. Now, unless any more programs are floating about unaccounted for, I suggest we get a move on."

Answerer changes vote to Eldon Gorski

The Answerer gives the closest approximation to a shrug that it can muster as the others suggest their own candidates.

"Making decisions based on intuitions is the very basis of faulty logic. Your solitary 'hunches' are meaningless without data to accompany them."

It then turns to Meowselsworth, a brief stream of code running across its body.

"This is not a question of innocence. It is one of appropriate function. There is no logical imperative for abstinence."

"I hope I am not interrupting," Answerer starts abruptly, its voice dripping with sarcasm, "But I would like to point out that this cycle is nearing its end. While you all have been bickering and indulging in irrelevancies, I have been busy decrypting my portion of the message; I would like to think that you have all been doing the same. The matter of choosing who to load the message is now at hand."

The paper avatar faces harr.e.hunter, nodding curtly.

"Clearly, given the lack of available daten, if we must resort to a method as crude as Process of Elimination, then the subject had might as well be random."

"My process has determined that program designate 'Meowselsworth' should load the message. Its impending success/failure will provide useful data."

Answerer votes for Meowselsworth

The Answerer goes strangely silent as the other programs bicker amongst themselves, the streams of data flowing down its body moving faster and faster, until suddenly, a loud ping rings out. The data peels away from Answerer's body, coalescing to form a small orb, which floats before them. It bobs up and down a few times before emitting a familiar female voice.

"The Answer to inquiry #4753485, 'What is the best way to decide who should load the decryption?' has been processed. I have determined that the most effective method would be to utilize Process of Elimination."

The orb abruptly pops into nothingness, the Answerer beginning to move about once more. The masculine voice returns, sounding tired, as though it were explaining something for the umpteenth time.

"I told you that you wouldn't like it. But under the present circumstances, that's the best you can hope for. We're in an isolated environment here - I have no access to satellites, supercomputers, proxies or even Google. The only data I have to work with is what I gathered from you sorry lot. If you want a better Answer, I will need more time. And a better phrased question, perhaps."

"And you, 'Answerer'. What is the best way to decide who should load the decryption?"

"Hmph. About time somebody got it right. Frankly, it was rather obvious. You might not like the answer though. Nonetheless, it is worth processing."

Again, stream upon stream of calculations pass over Answerer's body as it dedicates a portion of its programming to deliberating on IEFBR14's question.

Acknowledging the badly disguised accusations towards it, a sound not unlike the cluck of a tongue sounds from the paper program.

"Please don't insult my intelligence, harr.e.hunter; if I wanted to look or sound the least bit suspicious, I could calculate at least five dozen better means of doing so. That would of course, interfere with the task at hand, so I would much rather not. Nonetheless, program designate 'Uriel Phoenix' is correct."

Answerer looks first to Uriel, sizing him up before speaking.

"A passable effort, but needlessly direct."

It then turns its attention to the feline, emitting a deep, echoing chortle.

"Eheh. What indeed? I deal in answers, not in questions. An answer is only as useful as the question that is asked."

"That is not the right question. Ask another."

The Answerer remains stationary, saying nothing more.

What appears to be a large, square sheet of white paper falls from the sky, floating back and forth on a nonexistent breeze. As it slowly descends, it begins to fold in on itself doing so dozens of times before assuming a vaguely humanoid shape as it reaches the ground.

Expressionless and unassuming, the strange construct assesses the programs present, before going strangely still. Thousands of numerals and fractals stream down its surface as it emits a feminine voice.

"Ready... INITIALIZING. Assessing variables... gathering resources... organizing subjects... WARNING! Access to external resources disabled. System operating under minimal efficiency. Booting in 3...2..1..."

The program abruptly shudders and lets out an irritated scoff, before speaking out with a snide, masculine voice.

"Hmph! Such foolishness. How do they expect me to perform my functions properly if I can't access data outside of this plane? EGH. No matter; it is of no consequence."

Program's Persona: Built on the foundation of producing only the correct answers, Answerer tends to be silent as it makes its calculations. When it does speak, it does so in a methodical, logistic manner, caring little for details it interprets as being irrelevant. Because of this it comes off as being proud and arrogant, convinced that its functions are absolute, given its %100 CORRECT status since coming out of alpha.

Program's Origin: The Answerer began as a simple tool designed to respond to queries by assessing the results produced by search engines on the internet and producing the most consistent answers. In time, the program was refined drastically, enabling Answerer to improve its functionality by independently collecting data from all over the internet. Answerer was eventually acquired by the military, which adapted the program for strategic purposes, allowing it to access external data and run complex simulations. It was a long time before anybody realized that all along, it had been selecting specific pieces of information to add onto itself, creating its own persona...

Program's Iconography: Reveling in its philosophy of correctness, Answerer chooses to manifest itself as a complex, vaguely humanoid origami figure, made out of clean, white paper. In this way it can adjust its body and change shape accordingly, with perfect geometry. When assessing variables and making calculations, the algorithms it runs seem to stream across its body's surfaces.