Fiendish Baboon

Am I The Only One?'s page

87 posts. Alias of Bruunwald.

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I'm sorry that I am post-bombing this, but there is a subject that has just ruined my day, that I do not see enough people complaining about. (At least not yet.)

I assume from the announcement, that "Golarion-Infused" means that, as with Starfinder, the lore and setting will be in many ways inseparable from the core rules beyond a simple mention of the setting's gods in the cleric section.

What a horrible idea this is. This is the biggest turnoff of Starfinder and the reason why I've yet to run a game.

I love you Paizo, but Golarion is tedious for a lot of us, and so is separating fluff from crunch in order to get a simple home campaign going.

Vanilla is best. Core books should be resources, not advertisements or novelizations.


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An interesting read.

Here's a confluence of odd rules that could make for an interesting scene.

The Catch Off-Guard feat says:

You do not suffer any penalties for using an improvised melee weapon. Unarmed opponents are flatfooted against any attacks you make with an improvised melee weapon.

And the entry for the miner's pick says:

If a miner’s pick is used in combat, treat it as a two-handed improvised weapon that deals piercing damage equal to that of a heavy pick of its size.

So, at least by RAW, you could wander around with a miner's pick, gain the advantages of using a two-handed pick, and essentially treat every unarmed opponent as flat-footed.

Of course, you'd have to be a raving psycho to gain any real advantage from this, roaming the streets with a big pick and basically swinging it at unarmed folks. And your GM would have to ignore the very real possibility that bystanders may notice you swinging the thing at people and technically not be able to be caught flat-footed, but still -- there it is.

Any other odd combos of feats and weapons that create similarly surreal situations?

2 people marked this as FAQ candidate.

Maybe asked before -- I can't find anything in search.

Why does the clockwork dragon entry state that its reach is 15 feet, but then puts reach with its bite attack in parentheses as... 15 feet?

Usually, in these cases, parentheses are used to denote when some weapon of the creature's is different from the normal reach, not when it is the same.

Is this a typo? Should it be a 20 foot reach with the bite attack?


Snooping around the Internet, bored, I stumbled upon this illustration.

The site it is on says it is an illustration by one Anthony Saris, adapted from work by Fred Freeman, and dates to 1964.

I can't help but notice how Aboleth-like this is, with the row of eyes and general fishiness. Makes me wonder if this was an inspiration to the D&D folks who created that creature?

60% of the time, it works EVERY time.

Chew on that for awhile.

I used to frequent the WoTC boards back in the 3.5 days. One day, in 2004 I think it was, some kid started a thread where he questioned why the rules gave Ability score bonuses in Int, Wis and Cha as characters aged. He wanted to get rid of them completely, and replace them with penalties similar to how a character's physical stats declined.

His reasoning? I'm not kidding you. He had given the matter much thought, and in light of the success of people such as Britney Spears (yes, Britney Spears) he had come to the conclusion that it was an outright FACT that only younger people had the intelligence, wisdom and overall force of creativity and personality to contribute anything of value to the world, and old people were just "boring."

I took the time to ask him to consider that perhaps in saying what he was saying, he was showing that, as a young person he:

A. Lacked the wisdom to choose his words more carefully.

B. Was showing himself to be a jerk.

C. Had not educated himself enough to know how many great people in the history of the world did not make their greatest contributions until well into middle age.

Thus showing that his Int, Wis and Cha were all proving to be much lower than those of his older peers on the board (not to mention that he did not seem to know the difference between opinion and fact).

He totally ignored me. Which is fine. But the thing that really disgusted me was how few of the older people on the board made any attempt to refute him. I was 34 at the time. Old enough to know that our elders actually do deserve our attention and that there is a lot we can learn from them. But there were plenty of people on there older than myself, and none of them were speaking up. Some of them were just as engaged in the discussion on how to "balance" a rules change to allow the penalties this kid wanted, in exchange for some other benefit (though I can't imagine what they would think would be a fair trade - if your character's body, mind, personality and force of will are all completely gone, then what fun is the character).

I don't know why, but that incident has been on my mind today. Just thought I'd gripe about it. That kid has had nine long years to mature into somebody who is not quite as douche-like. What are the odds he did anything worthwhile with his time, do you think?


A player will be bringing in a new malefactor in tomorrow's session, and I need a little clarification on maledictions.

From the formatting, it looks like maledictions do not cost strife unless dread escalation is being used, nor do they seem to have a limit on number of times/day they may be used.

Is that right? Should I be treating these like orisons/cantrips/etc?


You all need to know how I feel. I’m serious about this. It’s very important. My feelings about this game and its direction are more than just trivial to me – they are a matter of life and death.

I’ll start out by saying that, frankly, future books suck. I haven’t read those books yet, but I do know that books mean reading, and reading means thoughts, and thoughts cause my game to be ruined. The existence of such "books" will cause me great grief, as I cannot help but to obsess over how they might destroy my sense of realism or complicate the rules should I ever crack them open.

Meanwhile, classes are no good for the game. And skills are bad, too. Some guy on another forum told me. He also told me his GM came to their game drunk last night. It’s just another reason I can’t play this game anymore. If GMs are going to be coming to games drunk, well I just can’t be a part of it. It ruins EVERYTHING for me.

Plus, my brother keeps killing my characters. Is he a douche?

About a year ago, maybe a bit more, I posted to a thread concerning Oriental-themed terrains. Can't find it now, but I did finally get my webstore up and running.

At the moment, only my new-and-improved Koi Pond is ready for purchase, but more stuff will be going up almost every day, starting this Tuesday, and there will be Oriental items (ideal for your Jade Regent games) as well as oodles of other stuff!!

Thanks for looking.


I wasn't the biggest fan in the world, but a lot of us grew up (or graduated) with her on the radio. She had a great voice. A huge voice!

It's a damn shame.

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No, not one of a million phony YouTube trailers, but the real thing!

I guess it's the 1980s again in Greece. Check it out.

I have never been more happy that I don't play MMOs, nor more annoyed that other people do, than the past week.

I think it's great that Paizo is stretching out and all, but it's starting to seem like Pathfinder Online is quickly eclipsing the tabletop game, and it hasn't even been developed yet!

Paizo, don't make me hate you. Seriously. I have nothing against other people playing MMOs. But I can't stand the whining, the crying, the complete breakdown, and the total dominance of this one forum anymore.

This announcement was cool the first day. I was happy for you. I was sure you would do a great job. The second day, I already regretted that you made the announcement, but fine, what can I do? Now a few days later, I am ready to have nothing to do with Paizo anymore. In a few days, I went from thinking you were the greatest company around, to seriously questioning your judgment, to the edge of disgust.

Stop. Seriously, people, talk about something else before your whining destroys everything you hold dear.

The haters can now cry at me all they want. Somebody was going to say this eventually. It just happened to be me this time.

Thinking of doing one of these up for my own game!

Well, adult size, of course.

(Yes, it is okay to use "oriental" when you're talking about things, like rugs and terrains!)

I am a terrain junky. This is well known amongst those who know the Bruunwald brand! For the past two years or so I have been working on anything related to Anime or Eastern Culture, as I go to these Anime conventions with my wife (she has a thriving business as an artist at these things). I go mainly to help her, but as time goes by I am selling more and more of my own stuff. Anyway, I am not here to try to sell anything to anybody...

I am here to show off!

This is a bunch of my latest stuff. You can bet I am stoked that Ultimate Combat is finally out, as I have been dying to put this stuff to use, myself. Now I just have to come up with a few scenarios (I have no shortage of friends lining up to play samurai and ninja).

(I won't even pretend I know how to embed links.) /


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I’ve been thinking about the odd things Charlie Sheen’s been saying, about being a “Grand-High Wizard,” having “tiger blood” and “Adonis DNA,” and how his bosses have “picked a fight with a warlock,” etc.

My wife was asking how one would stat Charlie, given all of these statements.

I find it fairly easy to come up with racial abilities, but aside from a few obvious levels in bard, I can’t figure out what class Charlie might be. (Let’s face it: he’s not much of a wizard. Or a warlock, for that matter.)

On the other hand, I would suspect Charlie is an urban ranger of moderate level, being that he has a favored terrain (hotel rooms) and at least two favored enemies (ex-wives and hookers). Plus, he seems proficient in wielding a crackpipe in each hand.

Anyway, here are a few thoughts:

Tiger Blood (Ex) Charlie’s self-proclaimed “tiger blood” allows him to channel the powers of both the great cats and the infamous golf pro. Charlie enjoys a +2 bonus to Acrobatics and Escape Artist checks while avoiding indictment, and +2 to Stealth checks made to cheat on his current wife.

Adonis DNA (Ex) Charlie adds his Charisma bonus to Fortitude saves made to survive heart attacks brought on by abuse of alcohol and cocaine.

Sheen Magnetism (Su) Charlie’s potent essence creates an aura of “win” about him, detectable by all living creatures named Charlie Sheen. This “win aura” may be distilled into a dangerous potion (see Explosive Essence).

Manson Affinity (Sp) Once per day as a standard action, Charlie can make mental contact with the other Charlie. Thereafter, for forty-five minutes (not counting commercials), Charlie can emit a cacophony of maddening sound as a free action. All creatures other than the Charlies within 60 feet must succeed on a DC 21 Will save or be confused for 1 round. This is a mind affecting compulsion insanity effect. A creature that saves cannot be affected by Charlie’s gibbering for 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma-based.

Harem (Ex) Like the other Charlie, the “Grand-High Wizard” attracts young women who serve his every whim.

Explosive Essence The essence of Charlie Sheen may be collected and distilled to create a potent potion. Those drinking the resulting elixir must succeed on a DC 21 Fortitude save or suffer the instantaneous melting of their faces, followed 1 round later by the total explosion of their bodies, after which their children weep over their bloody remains. On a successful save, the imbiber “wins.”

You know, I'm always the last to hear about these things. So I'm sure you all already know about this. But just in case somebody here is even more clueless than myself, here it is: earch