Thea gives the filter a tug, but the filthy, waste soaked filter doesn't hardly budge. She sighs, scrunches up her face and grabs the stubborn filter with both hands. Her thin but battle hardened frame strains for a few seconds and then the solid waste recycling filter breaks free with a sickening, syrupy sound and burst of foul gas that no rebreather ever built by humankind can fully and completely block. Quickly suppressing a revolt by her stomach, she grabs the wide scraper and begins the utterly disgusting task of cleaning the sludge from the mesh screen. Another in a long string of curses aimed at the CAG escapes from her muffled lips....
"That was some impressive work out there Lieutenant."
The officious, pompous voice of Elias Morel rattles through her memory as she watches another layer of toxic glop slide into the incinerator bound waste bin.
"Of course quartermaster's are more easily replaced than a fully functioning Hunchback, which we don't have at the moment thanks to your additional heroics."
"Yes sir." She replies staring at the picture of Elias' academy graduation picture which hung on the wall behind the Commander of the Air Group's battered desk. It was that or staring at the bald spot on the top of her commander's head as he continued to tap and the oversized tablet making notations at he reviewed her report on the Serpentine fiasco.
"I see Doc has cleared you for light duty." He sets down the stylus and looks up, his iron gray eyes staring directly at her. He'd been an ace twice over fighting for the Outer Worlds until peace broke out thirty years ago. After which he signed up with the newly minted Federation Security Force in order to keep flying. Thea couldn't help but admire the man's skill as a pilot and dedication to the Federation, even if she didn't care for what she thought of as an overly cautious and unimaginative leadership style. We face an entirely new and inhuman enemy. She thinks to herself for the millionth time since the Corak invasion. Fighting them like they're just another bunch of bandits or breakaway rebel worlds isn't going to keep us alive.
"Yes sir. He has sir. I'm ready to resume full duties." She replies, eyes front, ignoring the pain in her back and legs. Her entire body had been one large purple and black bruise following the rapid double jump and she still couldn't remember actually landing the shuttle on Cerberus, but another day in the infirmary would more than certainly drive her insane.
"Hmmm...yes." He sighs, wraps the tops of his desk with his knuckles. Blast it Firefly! The man exclaims showing more frustration and anger than most usually see in a week. "I don't know what's gotten into you. We're in the pressure cooker here. But first you break regs and practically blow up a hanger and then you ignore an emergency evac and jump order. Discipline!" He growls the word. Eyes bright with anger. "Discipline is what will keep this fleet alive. Not reckless heroics and reliance on luck and prayers. Now this time you got lucky and brought back Maran. Even the shuttle survived, unlike the other two on the mission. So the Captain wants you reinstated as Green Squad Leader."
The announcement sends a thrill of excitement racing through her aching body. And also an added weight than lands hard upon her shoulders.
"Yes sir!
"But...I still command the pilots on Cerberus and I'll teach you a bit of discipline no matter what. So if you're well enough to drink in the cantina, your well enough to scrape recyclers. We're still overcrowded with refugees and the chief is still struggling to keep the systems working. So you're still on double duty until further notice. Report to the Chief in Enviro Services."
He pins her with his gaze for another few moments and then waves his hand.
"Dismissed!"
"Sir. Yes sir!" Thea salutes and marches out of the CAG's tiny office.
....So here she was scraping crap out of the dark depths of the Big Dog's belly. Bruised, aching, stomach churning and covered in s%^t. But she had her squad back. Of course nothing says 'respect me' like walking into the squad room covered in muck and reeking like hell's cesspit. She sighs and having finished removing most of the muck, drops a final sample into the analyzer and then starts scrubbing away with brush and sanitizer spray.
As she scrubs the analyzer suddenly begins to beep rapidly like a stimmed out chipmunk. "What the..." She says turning to see one of the indicator bars blinking bright red. "The hell does that mean?"
"Hey Purdy." She says into her comm unit, toggling the switch through her mask. "I've got a red bar on the waste analysis sample. "
"What...for fraks sake." The voice of Ensign Joseph Purdy crackles back. "Probably another dysentery outbreak among the refugees or its just another bug in the software. Ever since those big brains in Science installed some upgrades, we've been getting odd readings now and then. Stay put and I'll be there to reset things in a bit."
"Copy. But hurry up. This is my last one today. I'm ready for my nice cold, two minute shower." She replies dryly.
"Haha...right. I won't keep you too long LT."
Cleaning filters is very disgusting, but on this particular day Hannah is doing the work in fairly good cheer. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, although she is technically on “double duty”, meaning this is her second job, she hasn’t really had a first job so far. There are places she’s supposed to be, but nothing to do when she’s at those places.
The main place is a small lab that seems to be otherwise unused. It was worth a day of exploration, but now that Hannah has searched though the whole room and found everything to be found, she mostly just sits in there until time to leave. It has been boring, but today she was grateful because yesterday was so unhinged.
The refueling mission had been a disaster. Hannah would need to read a report on it to really understand what happened. Apparently the place was trapped, but when things went haywire, everything afterward happened so quickly she lost track. Hannah was told she did well, but all she’d done is shut down the reactor when she was told to. That hadn’t been hard. It had been the getting out while everything was exploding that had gotten to her. Hannah had just sat in the shuttle waiting for things to be over, bug-eyed and with F#!% f%!! f!@! f&#~ f%&& f*&@ running through her head.
Getting out of that shuttle had been one of the best moments in her life. Sure the Cerberus was just another, larger, oxygen-filled box. But it was grand to have enough room to move freely. She had dropped her helmet on the flight deck and left it there, too busy stripping off the suit down to her waist so the sweat accumulated inside could evaporate. So yes, absolutely, she would clean filters again today without so much as a peep in complaint.
/
Well after the emergency jump cleared, Deigon headed over to Sasha’s for a drink. It wasn’t long before he started running up a heavy tab. No less than three drinks into it, he began venting about the calamity that just unraveled. “That damn idiot of an XO is going to get us all killed. I mean, who in the hell decides to take the entire fleet into an unsecure fueling port when you know damn well that it is the most obvious place to ambush a ship running low on fuel.” After refilling his glass for a fourth time, he looks back over his shoulder and then realizes there are more than a few civilians listening to his rant. “Oops, I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud.”
After pausing for a moment to gander at his newly filled glass, he continues. “F*~! it. What’s said is said.” He blurts out just before polishing off the contents of his glass.
“Well this is one of the better drinks you’ve served up Sasha. If you refill me one more time, I’ll pay you double the normal rate.” After making the generous offer, he realizes that he has no idea what the normal rate is or what he just agreed to.
“If someone asked me. I think we should turn around and head back. Now that the Shrooms think they chased us off, they probably wouldn’t expect us to come back. We should then post up somewhere out of their detection rang and send in small shuttles equipped to transport the fuel in a much smaller quantity. Do it sneaky style. A small, quiet shuttle, escorted by no more than a single squad of fighters. In and out quiet like. But, what the hell do I know.” After finishing his thought, he takes another small drink before glancing around the room a second time to make sure no one important is listening.
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Sasha's definitely not even supposed to be anywhere near her bar right now, she's confiened to sickbay but she was damn wll going to get the bar open for tonight. Everyone needs it, and that means a happy payday. She gives Diegon a tight grimce of a pain-filled smile as she pours him another drink. "Mind how you go, Gunny," she warns him. She has a feeling she's talking to the wall but so it goes. She winces again and leans against the counter of the bar, counting under her breath while she waits for the pain to clear from unbearable back to jsut agonising. She's been delibratly refusing the morphine drip, she needs a clear head. But this isn't going to work, she's about to pass out. She gives another grimace and takes a hit of the painkillers, jsut enough to get through the next couple of hours.
She gives Gunny a nod as she walks away to find Corporal Bodie, who is as neat as ever - probaly sleeps at attention - but red around the eyes. The loss of Starr and Buck has hit him hard, Logistics is not where you expect to see action and death. "Corpral. The place is yours for tonight, and by direct order you are in charge of the cash flow. If Suggs tries to order otherwise, tell her that. Use some of the scrip we take in to get something for their families, yeah? Buck had a husband." She can't remember his name, FFS. What is wrong with her? "And Starr's girlfriend-" Shit. Shit. Shit. Starr's girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. She can't deal with this right now. "Just - get them something, yeah? I'm trusting you with this." Oof, the painkillers really have opened her up. She's getting maudlin.
Walking away quickly, she makes a point of mingling at the various tables for as long as she can, chatting with the regulars but she's aware that she's not providing the personal touch she usually does, and they can see it too. She's hurting, in more ways than one. "Sorry, scuse me, gotta go, gotta go." The orderly promised to look the other way when she left (for a price of course), but only on condition she got back to sickbay beofre the shift changed.
She's grateful for the excuse to slip away.
Once she's back in the hospital bed, she treats herself to another hit of morphine before pushing the drip well out of her reach. Pickig up her comm unit, she places a call but the beep tells her that the person at the other end is offline right now, please leave a meassage.
"Thea, it's Sasha here. Alroight there, how ya doin? I heerd they put ya roight back on filtration duty." Sasha's from the Betjeman slums on Ninmahon - a wretched hive, whatever the Corax have done to it counts as an improvement - she worked hard to lose the accent but the strain she's under, and the drugs, make it more obvious. The men who find it a turn-on are the ones she's learned not to date. "I've set someink up for you - when you hit the shower, go to the last cubicle on the left. Once you're in, the lock's going to freeze up and it won't reset for half an hour, okay? You'll be in the shower for thirty. minutes. With hot water for the duration." She emphasises the last bit. (If she ever finds out what Elias Morel thinks of quartermasters, the man will have lumpy bedding, expired rations and all the other miserable ways she can think of screwing with him.) "And when you're clean, come find me here in sickbay, ok? I think we need a few words face to face."
When she'd first woken up enough to realise she was alive and warm *in here* rather than cold and dead *out there* her first thought was to relaise that she owed someone - probably several someones - big time. It wasn't exactly a nice thought.
When Deigon sees Sasha pass the rains over to Corporal Bodie, he raises an eyebrow and then looks down at his less than half empty glass. "Hmm."
(This might be an interesting opportunity?) He thinks to himself as Sasha walks out the door.
Shortly after Shasha leaves, Deigon gets up and meanders over to Bodie. "So, Corporal." He says in an obviously drunken state. "Did I overhear Sasha correctly? Are you now in charge of things?"
After pausing a moment Deigon takes a small drink of what’s left of his beverage.
“Here’s the deal. It seems I have run up a fairly large tab, and to be honest, I don’t have enough coin to cover it. Now here’s the kicker. I would prefer not to end the night this early, if you know what I mean. So, I have a proposal. If you clear my tab and allow me to continue indulging the night away, I will owe you, or Sasha, your choice, a no questions asked favor with an open-ended expiration date. What do you say?” He ends the question while holding up a recently emptied glass.
Hannah wouldn't be at the bar if Thea hadn't made her come. She'd have been content to get some extra sleep and let her brain rest after the day before. But Thea had needled her about it and Hannah gave in. Thea is fun and Hannah doesn't know many other people so she convinced herself it was actually for the best to go. She could maybe keep Thea out of trouble and maybe meet a few more people.
As it turned out though, the two of them just sat a table together by themselves. Hannah did hear the old pilot shooting his mouth off about the XO though. She was surprised to hear what the pilot said. Hannah liked Commander Benjamin. He's been really helpful in getting her set up on the Cerberus, had showed her around, and was quite patient and nice about how it was taking some time for her to get her bearings and adjust. Hannah thought he had a softer side to him that she didn't see much in the other people on the ship. Everyone was always barking in clipped, rapid speech at each other it seemed.
Commander Benjamin was also military precise, but Hannah thought he seemed more able to relax, maybe be a little more easy going or calm. Actually 'calm' was the key word Hannah decided. She could really use a bit of calm somewhere in her life right now.
It must be some sort of misunderstanding. Or maybe that pilot's just an a$+#*@&. Still, she was curious about his reasons, and it's always best to have all the evidence she thinks. She also overheard the old pilot whining about his tab.
Hannah had been pacing herself fairly carefully, but she was just tipsy enough to do what she did next. She nods her head in the pilot's direction, and says to Thea "back in a few minutes" with a expression suggesting she's about to jump off the high dive at a pool.
Hannah gets up and walks over to the pilot and their new barkeep.
"Fill him up on me." she tells Bodie. Turning to look at the pilot she says "Hi, I'm Hannah Wessell."
When Hannah realizes she's walked into something with that other woman there and the pilot, her eyes widen, her face flushes, and she diverts course.
"Oh! S...sorry. To interrupt I mean. Go ahead and have a drink on me. Excuse me."
Hannah beats a hasty retreat back to her table.
She still looks rattled for a moment after she sits down, but it passes quickly and she looks over at Thea and chuckles.
"Why can't I do the simplest things without f##$ing up?"
Thea emerges from the shower with a cheshire cat grin. Water dots her flesh and glistens in the grey-green florescent glow of the port side flight showers as languid tendrils of steam rise lazily off her trim frame. Her flesh is pink from the extended stay under the divine flow of hot water, or at least those few patches of skin that aren't a layer of yellow-black and purple bruises. Her five ten, one hundred and forty pound frame looks as if it was stepped on by a giant and then tossed into a gutter with a swift kick. She moves gingerly, stiff, sore, but not nearly as much as she was before Sasha's 'malfunctioning' shower unit held her hostage for the last half hour.
She hadn't had a shower feel that good in ages. Not since she and Rowan had leave on Nergalos. They'd stayed in practically the entirety of the three day pass. Room service, champagne, and a box of her favorite chocolates. Truffles. Each as big as a golf ball, rich dark chocolate inside and out. More chocolate sprinkled on top with a fine dusting of sugar like winter's first snow. Hand made by a sect of Temple monks. They watched the sunset from their balcony overlooking the brilliant crystal blue waters of the Sea of St. Grace. The memory adds to her smile until the reverie is interrupted.
"Hey Stinkbug, what happened to you. Forget how to work a shower unit." Nathan's voice echoes across the open room. He'd been calling her that ever since her first trip back to the squad room after she'd been assigned recycler duty.
Raven steps in behind the former Squad Leader and arches her own questioning eyebrow at the steam rising from Firefly's body.
Thea's smile turns to a smirk as she rolls her eyes and waves off Nathan's smartmouthed remark. "Lock got stuck." She says flashing Raven a warm smile. The dark haired woman grins in return stepping past Thea to one of the other unoccupied cubes. "I'll call maintenance to have them take a look at it. Only by the gods good grace that it wasn't first shift, else I would've froze to death for certain. As it was...well...." She lets the steam speak for itself.
"Yea, yea. Some get all the luck."
She furrows a brow, recognizing Nathan's 'getting ready for a night out' kit, including that horrible aftershave he always seems to be able to keep supplied. "Don't forget you've got CAP duty, so go easy on the booze." Thea ducking past her handsome squad mate and former romantic mistake.
"Whatever you say boss. Although, I can't figure how you can be on the CAG's s%^t list and still get bumped back to SL."
"It's called doing the right thing. You should try it once in a while Nate. Or maybe just stop using that stuff." She adds pointing at the notorious bottle of aftershave. "Engineering complains every time you come back from a flight. They say the stink is impossible to get out."
The blond haired, blue-eyed pilot simply snorts and takes the cubical across from Raven being sure to drop his towel before Thea has time to turn away. "Don't want you to forget what you're missing."
This time it's Thea's turn to snort derisively as she walks out to go change and meet Hannah. But now she had to stop off at the infirmary before hitting the cantina. There was a most generous and resourceful quartermaster she had to thank.
*******
"That was the most exquisite malfunction I've experienced in ages." Thea says to Sasha with a smile as she runs a hand through her still damp, auburn hair. Decked out in her simple reg fatigues, she carries two cups of steaming coffee tucked in a tray in her other hand. Pulling one of the cups free of the tray she hands it to Sasha. "Commissary fresh, I'm afraid, but it's the best I could do on quick notice." She says to the woman she helped snatch from the jaws of death not so long ago.
"Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Oh, uh, sir... I'm afraid I can't, uh, sir, that would be against regulations, I mean instructions. Sir." Corporal Bodie turns bright red, and his voice actually cracks.
“What the f*%! do you mean regulations? This isn’t a god damn officers post, it's a bar, and you've got the keys. You can ..….." His words are cut short when a woman’s arm passes in front of him holding a wad of cash.
It's a woman around your own age. She's in off-duty fatigues, but she's still got her insignia pips (Engineer-Commander) and name tag (Foster). Oddly, despite the dimly lit bar, she's wearing reflective glasses.
"It's a hell of a thing, Pilot, when a fighting man can't get a drink. Please... allow me."
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.” He blurts out while trying to keep his balance. "Hell yes young lady. Not only are you easy on an old man’s eyes, you seem to be good comp…” He staggers a bit as he slides his empty glass closer to Bodie. ”Emm company.”
After looking back over at the red-faced young man, he changes the subject. “You heard the lady, Lieutenant regulations. Keep em coming!”While trying to reorient his attention back to the woman who just agreed to keep him company, with a bottomless bottle, he gets distracted by a second young lady who stepped up to the bar with another kind offer.
"Oh! S...sorry. To interrupt I mean. Go ahead and have a drink on me. Excuse me."
Gunny takes a long hard look at Hannah through booze impaired squinting eyes. ”I Think I know you from somewhere. You look famil….” His words fall short as Hannah turns and heads back to her table as quickly as she came.
”Damn, did you see that?” He asks the commander. “So, how come I haven’t seen you around her before? Anyhow, pull up a chair. I’d like to get to know you a little better.”
I know I'm going to regret this. As long as she’s poring, Gunny will indulge the commander. At least until he passes out. At this stage of his inebriation, he will agree to just about anything.
Hey, it doesn't seem that bad. She just wants to stroll through Cerberus' engineering stores. She's the Second Engineer on the flagship, so that's totally reasonable! And squadron leaders have access, can't go filing a request every time you need a spare part. Okay, normally she'd go through Cerberus' own engineers, but... something something red tape, and the Chief Engineer here is kind of an ass? Sure, that makes sense.
@DMDM - If yes, can I use Relationship with people instead of Smooth, like for the other moves? Or is that too OP?
By the time Thea arrives, Sasha's had some time to rest, and to think. She knows that giving Bodie that assingment was probly a bad call and she toys with the idea of getting Stugss to do it instead. But she can't face that right now. Anyway, whatver she sends they're going to want to see her in person - it's what you're supposed to do in times like this.
When Thea walks in with the coffee, although her face is grey-lined with pain Sasha gives the pilot a smile. "Looks like the hot water did its thing, you're looking - and smelling - a lot better for it. Don't get used to it, that sort of malfunction isn't something I can work too often." She shifts positio, trying to make the pain stop, and looks at the morphine drip. No. She's seen too many addicts. Pain will pass. She takes a gupl of the hot coffee instead.
"You're right, I did want to talk to you about a couple things. First, I - I could do with some advice." She gives the piolot a look. "I never lost anyone under my command before, logistics division doesn't see a lot of combat, you know?" She leaves unsaid - because it's obvious - that the death rate among pilots has been horrific. "I'm not really sure how to handle it and I wondered if you have any tips. I've got some slack now becuase I'm injured, but if they start to think i can't handle command - I need to show I'm on top of everything."
It looks like people have been hitting the bottle pretty hard tonight by the time Lt. Cerrone enters Sasha's and plops at the bar leaving plenty of room between him and Gunny to right and the commander he is talking to, Devin was unable to make out the name. "Beer me," he says noticing that it is Cpl. Bodie tending bar and he shoots him a concerned look to which the corporal just offers a shrug.
Thea takes a long, thoughtful drink from her own coffee. Her emerald flecked, brown eyes for just a moment stare beyond the injured, unsure woman laying in the infirmary bed. Instead she sees the long list of those she's lost over the last short weeks since the aliens attacked. Warbird, Jericho, Gopher, Benji... The list went on. Green Squadron alone had suffered tremendous attrition rates. In fact, the longest she's served with any of her current squad mates is ten days. That was Raven, who was flying cargo shuttles for Federated Transport Systems before the attack. The others were all newer, greener. And then there was the family she'd lost. Two brothers. A sister. A half dozen nieces and nephews plus her own mother and father. And of course, Rowan.
She refocuses her gaze on Sasha, puffs out a long breath and sits down in the narrow chair at the edge of the bed. Tries to hold back the rush of grief, anger, frustration, guilt, and plain desperate loneliness that all seemed constantly on the verge of sucking her into a black abyss of no return if she let up for just a minute.
"I...I..." Thea starts. Is forced to stop. Breaths deep and offers a sad, half-hearted smile. "I'm not sure I've know of any useful ways to deal with such loss." She says, her recent escapades flashing across her mind. "There certainly isn't anything in the FSH about it. As far as the official Federation Services Handbook is concerned, death barely exists in military endeavors." She adds a wry chuckle.
"One thing I can assure you of, is that you aren't alone. Each of us is wrestling demon death right now. And in our own way. There is no single right or easy method, at least as far as I know. Although your firewater, does help ease things a bit." She says with small smirk which quickly disappears as she sighs yet again. "I...I don't know. Sometimes I think it is actually worse for those of us who have survived. I mean, you die, you go on to whatever comes next. The Temple says the gods await to greet us with open arms, joy, and peace. Who knows what the truth is. But regardless, the dead aren't here in our world and lives anymore." She shrugs. "It's those of us who live who have to try and deal with the loss and pain. The guilt..." She waves a hand in the air, chastising herself, pretty sure that none of this is helping in anyway.
"But as for command. Pfftt...you're one of the best damned quartermasters I've run into in the service. You keep everything flowing. From bullets to Q-coils. Even the blasted damned hot water. And you know which regs to bend and which to abide in order to get s^&t done without putting the fleet and the rest of us in danger. Remember a Fleet flies on its stomach. You keep the food and material flowing. You just keep doin' that and command will kiss your a$$ all day long."
She leans back in her chair, remembers the coffee in her hand and takes another long drink, frowning at the burnt, acidic taste. "Gods. This really is awful stuff." She says and then rests a hand on Sasha's shoulder. "As for those you lost. Remember them. Find some way to honor them if that'll help. And know it wasn't a failure of your command that caused their death. We are fighting an alien enemy bent on the elimination of our entire species. They're the cause. At this point, we're all risking our lives everyday to just try and survive. They knew that. So do you, else you wouldn't even be wearing that uniform and wouldn't have been out there trying to secure fuel from some back water remote fuel outpost."
Sasha tries not to wince as Thea's hand rest on her shoulder - she prefers to keep people at a distance for the most part. But she apreciates the gesture and the thought behind it. She nods as Thea finishes talking, and lets the silence build for a bit before she breaks it. "Thanks. I appreciate what you said. It helps." She quickly changes direction. "Is that why you've been acting out then, too much to deal with?" She meets the pilot's gaze. "Oh, come on. You've always known how to party but recently it's been more than that - and I'm not jsut talking about the hangar, although that was way past any line you'd have crossed before."
From most people, this would be a calling out, or a confrontation. But the tone here is concern, and Sasha sits up in her bed, trying to ignore the pain of her stitches and closes one eye as she squints at heer friend. "How worried should I be that you're going to ride right off that edge and straight into oblivioun?" Her tone softens. "I've got nothing to do right now but hurt, and listen. And I'd much rather listen. So spill - what's going on with you, hotshot?"
""Why can't I do the simplest things without f~~@ing up?"
Hannah's voice draws Thea out of the contemplative mood she'd been in ever since she sat down at the table. If she was honest with herself, she shouldn't have been out at all. Her body, and most especially her head, ached and could use a good weeks rest. A luxury she knew wasn't going to happen. But she didn't want to be alone with the ghosts.
Ghosts was what she'd started calling the voices whispering in her head. The little doubts. Feelings of guilt. All of the swirling chaotic voices of the dead that had been niggling her mind since this madness all started. Just being around other people, hearing their voices, smelling, them, feeling their living selves nearby helped keep the ghosts at bay. Helped keep her going, sharp enough to survive and maybe make a difference in this war for survival.
"Hahaha! You ask this of the one who's still on recycler duty, and only by the kindness of a marine still has a career because she nearly blew up a flight bay? " She says laughing. A smile breaking out across her battered face. "Which for the hundredth time, I'm sorry I ef'ed that all up and got you roped in along the way. I can't believe I let myself get anywhere near that test engine in that state. If only I hadn't been so....bah...whatever." She adds shaking her head and waving for another drink, but then busts out with another sniggering laugh. "But the look on old Elias' face was priceless. I've never seen a man's face go that shade of purple before. At least the Chief took a bit of pity and said that our theories might actually have merit..."
She let's that last thought trail off. Her Mark XV Yellowjacket class fighter was a solid machine when it was in a dogfight with other Federation made fighters. It couldn't fly with the newer Wildcat's, but it carried a bit more firepower. None of that really matters now. Against the swarm and other bizarre tactics and tech used by the alien Corax, it lacked both maneuverability and punch. It was too easy to find yourself surrounded by the damned creatures and then it was all over.
"Reminds me, have you had a chance to talk to the chief? Was he just letting us off the hook or did he really believe we could squeeze an extra ten percent out of the boosters?"
"Oh nevermind...this is supposed to be time to relax, forget about it all for a bit. Maybe we should go find that guy you were trying to buy a drink for? What's one commandeer verses a brilliant engineer and a almost washed out LT?"
Hannah is horrified by the suggestion.
"Oh god no! I was only curious anyway. Just heard what he was saying about the XO and wondered why he thought that way. It's nothing important.
"Commander Benjamin seems all right to me. He's been good about giving me time to get settled and learn my way around. He also got me off the hook except for 3 days of the extra work. He said I was new so I wasn't as much at fault. But I'd still have to do some of the punishment and had better learn fast."
"I did talk to the Chief, but I figured it would be best not to bring up the subject. I asked him about working with engineering some if they need help. I don't have much to do really. No actual assignments or anything like that. It would give be something to do if I don't have anything else, and I could learn more about the ship's construction and functions. Besides I want to help if I can. I'm not used to having so little to do."
"He said yes pending an agreement from Commander Benjamin since he's my superior and the Chief can't just poach me."
Thea holds up her hands in surrender and smiles at Hannah's initial reaction to her suggestion.
"Once again you prove yourself the much wiser of our duo." She adds, but then takes in what the scientist is saying about the XO.
Eventually she throws back the rest of her drink and after letting the burning liquid scald the inside of her mouth swallows it down briefly closing her eyes and shuddering as the forty-eight hour old alcohol spreads fire throughout the rest of her system.
"Probably nothing. This is a fleet ship, not some civvie tour boat. Means the XO is Captain God's right hand. A hand that, by the very nature of the job, can sometimes come at you like a fist to the face." She shrugs. Her head turning toward the exit where the old pilot and the commander are slowly making their way to wherever. "I don't really know Benjamin all that well. Bit of a stickler for the regs is my understanding, but not as bad as old Iron Drawers Moran. My guess is the XO assigned the guy some crap duty and he's still got his nose outta shape over it. Who knows...he seemed pretty sloshed. We both know a person is likely to do somethin' stupid with enough of this stuff filling her belly." She shakes her empty shot glass and laughs.
Thea nods in understanding when Hannah talks about the Chief and her plan to hold off a bit on any further engine trials.
"You've already gotten into enough trouble on my account. So, yes, no reason to push it. The Chief is one guy I don't want to piss off. The CAG, even the XO, I can live with being on their bad side. But the Chief keeps us flying and is a generally descent human being. Like to keep in his good graces." She says. Her eyes look back to Hannah and her face suddenly goes a bit more serious. "And if I haven't said so already, I appreciate like hell the help you've already given me. These Corax are a...tough, brutal enemy...we need to flip a few things to our advantage."
The next morning Hannah goes to find Commander Benjamin to ask about working with engineering on an ad hoc basis if she has no other assignments at the time. She times things to when she's certain he'll be in his office and probably alone. She doesn't want to discover she's asking something that's actually completely ridiculous or forbidden when there's a crowd of observers around.
Hannah knocks on the door and goes in after she hears his call to enter. She salutes (something Hannah feels particularly ridiculous doing) and waits for the XO to give her his attention. When asked for the reason for her visit, Hannah nervously makes her pitch.
"Good morning Commander Benjamin. I wanted to come by and let you know how much I appreciate your help over the last couple of weeks. I also wanted to talk with you about assignments or projects that may be upcoming. So far I haven't had anything on my plate, and I understand the nature of projects is that hey come when they come."
"I would like to help out on the [i]Cerberus[i] as much as I can, and so I'd like to make a suggestion if I may. In talking the the Chief of Engineering, I've noticed they tend to be short-handed and there are always tasks needing to be taken care of. Would you permit me to help out in Engineering during my down times between my own projects. I would keep clear boundaries, and wouldn't let it interfere with the work assigned to me."
Hannah finishes her own drink, decided it will be enough for the night.
"Well, if nobody has a problem with it, I'll keep messing around with the engine. Something good might come of it yet."
"Honestly though, I'm starting to feel just a little bit nervous. It's like I was snatched up like a neat new tool that's perfect for just the right odd jobs. Until one of those comes along though I'm left forgotten in a drawer."
"But what if the right thing never comes along? I think I'm in the military regardless now, so what if they decide to reassign me to something crazy like the marines because they need more bodies? That's part of the reason I'm asking the XO about some engineering work. If I do go on auction, I'd like there to be a reasonably friendly bidder out there."
At first Thea's eyes go wide and then her face grows as red as the hair atop her head. There's an initial rush of anger, denial, but as the true, real concern, caring, and compassion, in Sasha's voice register the fighter pilot leans back in her chair, swills down the rest of the coffee and sets the mug down on the nearby stand with a trembling hand. For a moment or two she just looks at the shaking limb before pulling it back and gently rubbing her hands together.
"You...you're....you're right. About the hanger. Gods, about Nathan. That just should've never happened." She says letting an almost explosive breath burst from her lungs. A dam beginning to crack."But not about staying back so we could bring you home. I...I couldn't leave someone else behind." Thea adds forcefully with clearly nothing like the same remorse and shame of the other recent incidents. And the dam breaks.
"There were so many we left behind. That we couldn't save. Didn't even try to save. I mean we are the Federated Fleet. We were supposed to protect them. Be the best. My job was to keep them safe. Families, friends. Everyone. We let them all down. I let them all down." She says, her voice full of shame. Full of a burden of guilt the size of the entire Fleet. "I know it's ridiculous to take it all on, but I can't shake the fact that despite that gigantic failure, I'm here. Alive. And so many aren't."
Thea sits quietly. Her eyes water for a moment until she takes a couple of deep breathes. "Before the double jump, I'd sometime hear Rowan's voice in my head. Calling out to me. Or sometimes my brothers or little Jasmine, my niece. All calling for my help." Sweat begins to prickle her brow. "I figured it was just exhaustion and grief. I mean none of us has had a decent nights sleep since this all started. I started calling them ghosts, just to make light of them. The booze, being around people more, it helped keep them at bay. Nathan was just a really, really bad attempt to drive them off on a particularly bad night. Same with the drinking and the hanger and the gambling. The clack of the wheel, shuffling of cards, sometimes just the lights could calm the voice and bring a bit of peace. Or at least it did..."
She turns to look at Sasha, her hands freeze as a bead of sweat trickles slowly down the right side of her forehead and along her cheek. "But since we got back from Serpentine...I....I...." Her throat bobs as she swallows hard. "I...I think I've been seeing actual ghosts...hallucinations...I don't know. But yea, I'm blasted worried."
Sasha is jsut on the edge of consciousness, but she heard everythign Thea was saying and she nods faintly. Every word she forces out in reply is a minor victory over the pain that threatens to overwhelm her. "Someone - hmf - told me recently that - that the thing to do with the dead is rember them - find some way to hnour them - and - and know that it's not your fault they're dead." Her face is grey with pain but she forces herself to stay with it. "If you're still - still seeing them then maybe it's becuase you aren't - ready to let them go? As for. A good night's. Sleep. Maybe find a medic to help with that?" She gives the ghost of a smile. "I hear there's - one or two - around the place." She slumps back against the pillow, breathing hard, not able to say any more for the moment.
She taps her finger against the side of her head and the points to Hannah with a smile. "You've got way too much valuable stuff up there." She says in all seriousness. "Given our circumstances, you really don't have to worry about anyone dropping you into the marines...or even worse...a fighter squadron. Don't worry, things are just all jacked up because of...well..." She waves her hand around to indicate the entire Fleet. "But soon enough the Chief or some Science branch mucky muck will be throwing you more work than you'll be able to do in a decade. In the meantime, just..." Her eyes fall on the big shouldered marine just parking his backside on a stool at the bar.
"Hey there's Devin. Now there's a guy worth his weight in rotgut." Thea waves to Bodie signalling another round for the marine to be put on her bill. "If it weren't for him doing some quick med work in the shuttle, that whole exercise would have been for nothing." She leans in a bit closer to Hannah and lowers her voice. "Not too mention he was cool about the whole hanger thing."
When his drink arrives, Thea waves Devin over to their table. Seeing the marine up closer, she could see the double jump wasn't exactly easy on the wide shouldered man, but he definitely seemed to weather the storm better than her mere pilot's frail frame.
"Glad to see you made it through our little ride Lieutenant. Nothing like a double jump under emergency conditions is there?" She says laughing as the lights of the bar sparkle in her eyes. She turns to Hannah, "Don't know if you two had a chance to meet before. Lieutenant Carrone, meet Ensign Wessell."
Hannah appreciates Thea's assurances, even if she's not completely positive Thea is 100% on the mark with them.
When Thea invites the marine over, Hannah isn't thrilled. She'd already decided she was ready to pack it in for the night. But she doesn't want to be rude by leaving. Besides She has decided it would be good for her to try to be a little more like Thea.
Hannah moves over to make room, and gives Devin the brightest smile she can muster and says "Hi... Devin, right? I'm Hannah.
Thea listens, a wry smile growing an exhausted Sasha turns her own advice right back around on her. She brushes at the tear running along her cheek. A tear brought on not by sadness or loss, but by the simple act of being able to talk to someone. Really talk. She hadn't really had that since Rowan died. Or maybe she hadn't really allowed herself to have that. She considers Hannah's sharing her worries earlier in the bar. Thea sighs. Sasha was right. She needed to find a way to honor those who're gone so she could open herself to new possibilities now. Tonight maybe, was a start. For certain it felt good and for the first time in days the voices were quiet at the knot in her stomach was just a bit less tangled and tight.
"Heh...my husband always said I was terrible at taking my own advice." She says quietly to the semi conscious Sasha. "Just like you right now, he was usually right. I'll do my best to actually take it to heart this time and stop fu^%&ig things up so much."
Seeing Sasha pretty much passed out, she quietly grabs the woman's coffee mug and starts to slip out of the little cubical. One hand poised on the curtain, she turns back.
"Thanks again for the hot water and the talk Sasha. Best I let you get some rest now. You need anything, you just let me know." She says sliding the curtain closed and limping off toward her own bunk.