Here!
And this time with a good avatar
How long are we going to wait?
I'm here!
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You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in
Licktoad history!
His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village.
By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor,
an overdressed, pompous goblin named Slorb can handle the might of the chief ’s words without fainting from fear.
You find yourselves waiting outside the Moot hut for permission to enter.
Poog reaches into a pocket and brings out a frog and says to it " Big Chief Gutwad want me for something, Dogfinder. I tell you what for when he done talking. But if you don't be good, I eat you." and then he puts 'Dogfinder' back in his pocket.
Chuffy looks suspiciously at Poog. "Why you here Poog? Gutwat want me for special task, not you."
Then, seeing that Poog had his frog out, Chuffy takes out his own. "And Fat Frog is tougher than Dogfinder."
In response, Poog laughs "Dogfinder not tough, he lucky." Then he pulls out a dead, squished frog and says "Fat Frog meet Flat Frog. He was lucky frog, now he not."
Worried about Fat Frogs honour, Chuffy looks at Flat Frog and Dogfinder carefully. "Maybe if you cook flat frog, he not be so tough?"
All this talk was making Chuffy somewhat agitated.
"Good fire last night. Maybe Chief going to make me head fire starter? Still no idea why you here to see Gutwad." he suggests hopefully.
"Slorb no good near fire. He wet himself when big bang went off."
Chuffy collapses on the ground in a fit of giggles at the memory.
Poog laughs along with Chuffy, maybe not fall down laughing but still laughs pretty hard. When he stops, wiping a tear away from his face he says "Flat frog not tough yet. Wait long to dry, then he tough."
Then he points at Chuffy and says "I shoot fire, how you be head fire starter?"
Reta's large head splits into an overly-wide grin, and she belts out a loud guffaw as she remembers the look on Slorb's face. "You RIGHT. Me laugh a LONG TIME 'bout that." Pausing, she turns to the others. "So, me know why ME here - Chief wants me to go STABBY-STABBY on someone, 'cause that's what me do BEST. Me can't think why you here, unless...", a quizzical look crosses her face, and her mouth curves ever so slightly into a grin. "NEVER MIND. Me sure big Chief will tell me when he READY."
Chuffy jumps quickly behind Poog at the approach of Reta.
"Maybe chief want reliable fire starter, so he pick me not you?"
He looks into the dim recedes of the Moot Hut. "Maybe chief fall asleep?"
He checks to see that Fat Frog is okay. "Don't worry Fat Frog. Rita not staby stab you. Maybe Lucky frog not get so lucky today."
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Afer a few moments a high-pitched, nasal voice calls out from the hut. b]You may enter![/b]
As the party enters the hut they see Chief Gutwad sitting precariously atop the teeter chair. the chief ’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs).
The nasally goblin points to the dirt ground before the Chief. Sit! It great honor to sit before Chief!
The small goblin clamors his way to the Chiefs side as he is to relay the chiefs words but instead the Chief himself speaks!
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a
dangerous mission.
“You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”
The chief turns his head towards the goblin at his side. Give them map Slorb and get out of house. Slorb digs through a pile of metal and bones and soon produces a crudely draw "map" and hands it to the party as he shoos them from the house. Prepare for bonfire tonight and we take evil away from you.
Chuffy turns pale at the first sound of Chiefs voice. Fat Frog, true to reputation, springs away at the first dread utterances and flees the hut.
To be honest, Chuffy has a hard time concentrating on the long winded speach from the Chief.
"something vague. goblins know your might. something or other. Scary words. Fireworks. more words. Bonfire. Burn somebody games, fun. dead.."
Dead? He looks around the room a little in alarm.
Should have paid attention. Even Fat Frog wasn't here to listen.
"Umm, Chief. What games? We play chop the tail off the mouse? That my favourite,"
As the chief begins speaking, Reta's eyes grow wide, and she covers her large ears reactively. Then, when she realizes that she isn't running from the hut in fear, she calms down and listens. When the chief finishes, and they are making their way out of the hut, she turns to the others. "You SO lucky that what Big Chief wanted..."
Chuffy elbows Poog.. perhaps a little harder than necessary. Bending over he whispers (really loudly) in Poogs ear.
"Reta lucky she not what Big Chief wanted."
While down close to the ground be scoops up Fat Frog, pats it on the head and puts it back in his pouch.
Bored, Chuffy's eyes cast around for a mouse to catch.
Surprised to hear the chief speaking, Poog was quiet up to the point that he was elbowed. He laughs.
Standing in front of the Moot Hut, Mogmurch licks his fingers and rubs at the scorch marks on his face, trying to wipe them off.
Mogmurch sits down blinks in surprise as the Gutwad speaks to them. He listens, trying his hardest to pay attention.
"Gutwad, Mogmurch like firework boom boom things. He go through swamp to get them. If Mogmurch finds men or dogs or horses, Mogmurch make them go boom boom. If Mogmurch finds Lotslegs, Mogmurch run. Give Mog the map!"
He snatches it from the hands of whomever it was handed to. He reaches into the leather boot he's fashioned as a pouch and brings out a pair of old spectacles. He puts them on and stares at the map intensely.
Brown noser thinks Chuffy.
He then runs for a puddle to check his own reflection. Satisfied that his features are as sterling as ever he pauses to admire his boils.
Fat Frog takes the oportunity to jump into the puddle and ruin the mirror like surface. Chuffy hits Fat Frog.
Where is that mouse?
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The goblin's toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of scribbleface's hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teetering Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire. Soon the Chief produces a foot long wooden tube. The chief is handed a torch from a goblin below which he applies to the tube. The chief turns to Slorb and whispers in his ear.
Chief say that this evening for celebration. This bonfire is to ward away the evil spirits that Scribleface brought on Toadlicker Tribe. Tomorrow heroes... Slorb points to the party. Will go out and get treasure for the Chief. With this the chief lights the tub on fire. Within seconds arc of fire erupt from the tube. For each arc of fire that struck the bonefire just as many struck goblins that were just standing by. The goblin hoard erupted into cheers and laughter as the few goblins run around as the flames spread and the bonfire erupted into the sky above.
The bonfire erupting was the signal for the party to get started as the table featured all kinds of good food (snails, fish ad snakes.)The Chief signals his hand and soon a barrel of fermented apple ciders are brought out. Soon most of the goblins are eating the apples and drinking.
Reta's eyes widen as the chief lights the tube, her breath held in anticipation. She cheers loudly when she sees the flames erupt from the bonfire, then rolls on the ground in fits of pealing laughter at the sight of the goblins set aflame.
When she realizes there is food to be eaten, however, her laughter stops instantly. She ran to the table and began sucking snails out of shells and eating the snakes and fish - starting with the heads, of course - with relish. When a cup of cider is placed in front of her, she grabs it in a two-fisted grip and quickly drains it. A loud - even for her - belch escapes her lips seconds later.
Chuffy cheers as loudly as any as the fireworks go off. When he notices Reta cheering, he does his best to go even louder.
As Clap is engulfed in fire, Chuffy finds himself in the unusuall position of having a dilemma. So of course he asks Fat Frog.
"Shall I go and take pet snake from Clap's hut Fat Frog? Or shall I eat yummy snails?" It is not often that Fat Frog is unable to provide assistance to Chuffy, and tonight is no exception. Fat Frogs tongue lashes out, grabbing a fly and setting the matter.
Chuffy digs into the snails, carefully avoiding getting too close to Reta. He knows what she is like when she's on the cider.
When seeing the bonfire lit up, Poog cheers as loudly as he can. Then he notices the food. He runs over to the table and tries to cram as many snails in his mouth as he can.
As soon as he manages to gag them down he turns his attention to the apples and cider, gorging himself on the apples and gulping down the cider.
Mogmurch admires the explosions. "Boom boom!" He remains in place looking at the fire while most of the other goblins head to find food. His mate Rempty comes up behind him and licks his face. She hands him a bunch snails. Mogmurch gorges them down.
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As the night continues word spreads like wildfire that the four of you are going on the special quest for the Chief. Soon many goblins are excitedly approaching you with common Goblin dares. A few of the dares rise louder than others. Dance with Squealy Nord; Eat a bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick; Hide of get clubbed; The Rusty Earbiter. At the mention of these dares rising into the air the camp suddenly gets quiet. Soon Slorb yells out among the remaining chatter. The Chief say that if heroes complete dares he will give them personal special treasure. This is almost unheard of in the tribe and causes the goblins to go into a frenzy as they draw horse choppers and dogslicer's into the air. More than one goblin gets overly excited and jumps from the roof of a hut only to break most if his bones while a few others fall into rain barrels and drown as they are unable to get out. Soon the crowd is chanting for the heroes as the dares have been called out.
Chuffy looks up from his snail.
"Do you say eating? Me! Me! I'll eat it."
Then word of the special treasure floats down.
"ahhhh, shiny treasure. Chuffy eat for treasure!"
An explosive fart comes from his rear, and a massive <burp> from his mouth.
"See, lots of room for Slugs!"
Reta screams at the crowd, "You want me DANCE with SQUEALY NORD? Me dance like you DON'T BELIEVE!" She pauses, "I mean, you probably BELIEVE it when SEE it, but not BEFORE THEN." And with that, she begins making her way to...well, wherever she needs to go to dance with Squealy Nord.
Chuffy nudes Poog. Hard.
"Didn't chief say we be fed to Squealy Nord if we come back with no fireworks? Reta trying to get friendly with Squealy before being fed?"
Chuffy looks confused. But thats not unusual.
To Chuffy, Poog says "Maybe she think that if Squealy like her, he no eat her?" Poog also seems confused about it.
To the crowd, first he just ignores them and the dares, then he hears about the treasure. "Treasure? Me like treasure! Me go hide! Maybe me eat after."
Chuffy covers his eyes and starts to count.
"One...two... ahh Coming!"
Chuffy looks carefuly around and shouts out "Chuffy See You Poog."
(whether or not he can see Poog!)
Reta calls out, "AND, as soon as me done with NORD, me eat SLUGS and HIDE. It be SO AMAZING what I do, you just fall down and DIE FROM SHOCK!"
"Ohh ohh. ME first. I said eat first."
Chuffy looks soo disapointed.
"Chuffy very good at hiding too. Maybe Chuffy hide first and work up appe.. make me hungry. Chuffy hide then eat."
He waves his hand in the air. "See, me [u]so[/u] good at hiding, you never even hear me say me eat."
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The party is drug away to a circular pit. What they have observed of Squealy Nord is that he is a fearsome boar who lives in a muddy pit in the middle of the village near the goblin baby cages. The goblin hoard believes and is frightened that squealy Nord consumes goblin corpses. Poog climbs onto the tethered piglets back as a goblin suddenly thrusts down a dogslicer on the rope caused Squealy Nord to go absolutely bersek and run into the circular pit.
A large basket full of slugs are suddenly thrust in front of you. Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblings they are considered foul-tasting and because of the large amounts of slime they excude, difficult to chew. The slugs, when eaten, wriggle, taste of rotten fish and burst with a squeel when chewed.
The group watches a goblin suddenly take off into the woods. A few moments pass as a small group of goblins suddenly press him towards the woods as they hand him a club. Go.. Go if you finds him you gets to club him.
The group is suddenly grasped as multiple goblins come rushing around a corner carrying a large coil of metal containing multiple goblin ears rotting as they are attached to the metal barbs. The large coil looks to be a hollow coil or rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords and thorny branches and vines. Quite a few goblins of the tribe seem very fascinated while other seem quite fearful of the contraption. Most if not all of the six goblins that helped unwind this contraption are bleeding from multiple gashes and slashed hands.
Reta steps forward to ride Squealy Nord, a look of uncertainty mixed with excitement evident on her face. She mounts the...piglet?...and screams, "CUT THE ROPE! CUT THE ROPE!". She screams in delight as she grips the beast's hide and rides for the requisite 18 seconds...
For the next dare, Reta sits in front of a large bowl of bull slugs. She takes a deep breath and holds her nose as she grabs the first slug and plops it in her mouth. She bites down, and the slug squeals as it dies. Reta tries to put on a brave face as she chews, smiling and saying, "This not SO BAD." She spits out the bladder and opens her mouth to show that the slug is gone.
She grabs hold of the second slug and, with a slight grimace, but still putting on a show, bites down on the slug (squeal!) and chews..though a little more slowly this time. "This not so tasty as last one, but STILL OKAY." Again, she spits out the slug bladder and opens her mouth.
Again, Reta grabs a slug from the bowl. "Yeah, yeah...this getting REAL old, REAL quick." She plops the slug into her mouth and chews, grinding the squealing creature between her over-sized jaws. Again, out comes the bladder, and her mouth is clear.
Reta is about to place the fourth slug into her mouth when a deep rumble begins in her belly. She tries to think of an appropriate joke, but her mind is fixated merely on winning the dare. She is unnaturally quiet as she says, "This not going to end well, me think." The slug goes in, but within a few seconds, her teeth nick the slug's bladder and she spits out the entire thing in disgust. She accepts the jeering of the onlookers as suitable punishment for her weakness.
After a moment staring at the bowl in disgust, she pulls a fifth slug out of it and unceremoniously sticks it in her mouth. She chews slowly, deliberately, the look of disgust never quite leaving her face. Another bladder gets spit out, and again, she opens her mouth to show the thing is gone.
By this time, Reta is sprawled on top of the table, groaning in pain as her stomach roils. She grabs another slug and puts it in her mouth, chews, and spits out one last bladder. For a moment, it looks like she might spit out the slug as well, but she swallows with a large gulp, and is able to open her mouth to show her success. When she realizes that she has completed the dare, she perks up and screams, "Reta CHAMPION EATER!"
Moog steps forward to ride Squealy Nord. He puts his spectacles in on the ground, as well a some concoctions he is carrying, so he doesn't brake them.
Within in seconds he is tossed from the pig's back. He gets up unhurt and walks away in shame, stooping to retrieve his things. "Maybe Mog will have more luck eating slugs real quick!"
He tries to eat each slug, being very careful to spit out the bladder sac.
He just barely manages to bite them down in the allotted time.
Chuffy looks on with delighted disgust as Reta eats the slugs. And then with just delight as Mogmurch tries the same feat.
After a moments consideration he looks around for Fat Frog. Not seeing his companion he checks the table and then says "I go hide. You never find me!"
And promptly runs behind a hut to look for the hiding goblin
Perception:
And then hide himself.
Hide (this was only an 18 befor the edit):
Realising that nobody was looking for him, Chuffy eventually comes out and has a look around for any Dares yet to be completed.
It looks like the Barrel is the one to go for. He eyes it up carefully. Quickly taking off his dangling clothing he eyes up the empty bag of slugs. Grabbing the bag he liberally smears his body with the slug slime before attempting to slip through the coils.
(five checks, just in case)
escape artist
escape artist
escape artist
escape artist
escape artist
potential damage
After seeing Mogmurch get tossed within the first 6 seconds, Poog says "Me try now."
When he stands up, covered in the muck of Squealy Nord's pen, he hangs his head and sadly says "Me no better. Me try Earbiter now."
As he walks over to the tube he slips from the muck on his feet. When he falls, some sense gets knocked into him. If muck so slippery when me walk, maybe it help going through Earbiter.
Making sure he is covered in the muck, he starts trying to crawl through the tube.
Chuffy the slime monster slips through the coils of death with a grace that will surely go down in legend in the tribe. Well, if anybody didn't drink too much, so maybe not.
He goes over to watch get another goblin fall off Squealy Nord.
"Anyone still looking for Squidley?" he asks mildly.