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The story of the goblin heroes Reta, Poog, Mogmurch, and Chuffy started not long ago; this group of goblins from the Licktoad tribe found themselves in a pickle—and not the delicious kind! Originally intending to find some fireworks and engage in some good goblin fun, they instead ended up facing one of the marsh’s scariest denizens: Vorka, the cannibalistic goblin druid. Upon returning from their ordeal, the four were treated like heroes and given grand titles and important positions in the Licktoad tribe.
But then one day, tragedy struck—while the goblin heroes were out swimming in Brinestump Marsh, a group of human adventurers came in and slaughtered the whole tribe.
Left without a tribe, the four goblins had to find a new place to live. In the hills on the western edge of Devil’s Platter, they came across the Birdcruncher tribe, a group that was experiencing their own troubles with fire-breathing pigs, murderous ogres, and a vacant chieftain position.
After impressing the Birdcruncher tribe with their skills at completing goblin dares, the four goblins set out to rid the Birdcrunchers of their ogre problem. Following a triumphant return, the Birdcrunchers made the goblin heroes the chieftains of the tribe.
A grand goblin feast is being prepared by the Birdcrunchers for you - their new chieftains. You sit upon their throne-chairs on a raised platform while the rest of the tribe runs around in a panic, making pathetic (and occasionally self-destructive) attempts to find some manner of distraction for you - the chieftains.
Food and drink is served liberally throughout the day, but even nine-gull stew, black slug quiche, poison-berry dumplings, and boiled puppy tails are only temporary distractions.
Being a chieftain is boring. Adventures are interesting. As goblin chieftains, you have quite reasonably decided that your minions in the Birdcruncher tribe should either entertain you or bring you an adventure to quell your boredom—otherwise, there’ll be trouble! A great feast has been prepared in your honor, and goblins are scattering every which way to get things ready.
While the others try to keep you satisfied, a few even went with Squealy Nord to hunt for your favorite truffles.
Ready!
Absentmindly poking little tiny holes in the third frog for the day greta lets out a huge sigh."MEE BOOOORING!"
"Yes Boooring. More frogs!"
"You leave fat frog alone he MINE
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A bunch of the Birdcruncher goblins have worked hard to delight you -their grumpy chieftains.
The goblins raided secret stores to come up with treasure to fulfill their chieftains’ demands to be entertained; they plan to give these items out as prizes for succeeding at the amusements (as long as you -the chieftains don’t just take the trinkets to begin with).
As the tribe gathers for the celebrations, two goblins—Plunger and Reg Runtweed—wheel out a massive thing covered in a tattered and patched blanket. They claim they have a secret treat that will make all the chieftains happy—a treat they will reveal later during the feast. However, it turns out that goblins aren’t good at keeping secrets. A couple of Birdcrunchers, hoping to curry favor, already ruined the surprise and told you that Reg and Plunger built a statue to honor the chieftains’ past accomplishments.
First, however, you - the chieftains need to be entertained!
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A goblin wearing a helmet with a spike on top and with a earring in one of it's large ears walks forward dragging with him an oversized dwarven waraxe. As he reaches the lowest step of the platform and gathers his breath, he presents his challenge in the most flowery and poetic way a goblin can.
"I be Mothmangler Munge; great teller of tales. I be telling the tale of the mysterious Green Goblin King, who arrived at a lord’s court and offered a unique sport: the chance to chop off head as long as he, Green Goblin King, was allowed to return the blow afterward. In story, the Green Goblin King has his head chopped off, and then, after reattaching it...
Well, Munge no remember how story ends, it got less interesting after the head-chopping part."
"My offer be simple: one of chieftains gets one blow at Munges neck with the waraxe (and no other weapon), but afterward, Munge gets the chance to return the blow on the striker’s neck." Munge makes it clear that he promises not to flinch away or move as the blow is struck.
"Which chieftan be playing part in magnificant play?"
Greta jumps up!"Me takes!"
Taking it in booth hands she swings it once twice and then smashes it into Mungo
[ooc]Greta has proficiency martial weapons, and as the dwaven waraxe is only exotic if wielded one handed... well [/dice]
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As Greta swings the axe down it hits Munge on the back of his helmet and is deflected away from his neck, only nicking him and drawing blood and fails to chop his head off.
Munge jumps up and tears the axe from Greta's hands and jumps up and down splattering blood everywhere
"“That’s not the way it was supposed to work! You ruined everything! My story!”" Munge shrieks as he stomps away covering the back of his neck with one hand trying to keep the blood in as he sulks away in a corner.
The tribe goes quiet in shame. Fortunately, goblins can’t stay quiet for long, and it is only a short time before the second amusement appears.
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Following Munge’s failed attempt at adventure, Munkle Pupsquash leads four goblin dogs (Lil’ Flaky, Grumbles, Snortlick, and Chub-Chub) out of their rickety pen and brings them to the platform in the middle of the clearing.
There she regales the assemblage with the goblin folktale called “The Charge of the Most Powerful Goblins.” This story tells of a group of goblin heroes who made a brave rush at the walls of a human city. The goblins leapt the moat, scaled the walls, and burned the whole place to the ground before riding off with all of the town’s pickles. In her storytelling, Munkle compares each of the chieftains to a great goblin hero from the old folktale in hopes of currying favor with the disgruntled chieftains.
Munkle then explains the terms of her amusement— the goblin dog sprint. Mounted on fidgety goblin dogs, the chieftains must race into the forest and jump over a fresh mud pit, climb a steep ridge, break a squash painted to look like a stupid gnome, rush back down the ridge, and jump over a clump of brambles before returning to the clearing.
Once the course has been explained and the chieftains are mounted, the race starts off with a bang as Munkle lights a firecracker to start the sprint.
BANG!!!
As you rush into the forest the first thing you encounter is a large patch of muddy ground
Mud Jumper: Leaping over the mud pit requires a ride check.
"Cum on choppa Reeta jump the pit like this" Chuffy pushes his dog ahead of the others
Hitting her mount for speed Greta tries to be fast.
Poog glowers at the goblin dog assigned to him.
"Behave, or I'll poke your eyes out!"
His threat appears to have the desired effect, and he and his mount sail over the mud pit.
Poog spurs his mount...
...and manages to hold on for dear life!
"Wheee this is fun"
Chuffy is confident of his skills possibly over confident
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Poog manages to go down the ridge without tumbling down over any loose rocks
Chuffy how ever steers his mount onto a rather large loose stone and it's starting to slip....it's going to be difficult to keep it from falling over and sliding down the slope on it's butt...
Poog arrives down and comes upon four squashes painted to look like gnomes, each with ridiculous eyebrows and a strangely colored wig
Poog must successfully guide his mount with his knees (Ride DC 5) and attack the squash with a melee or ranged attack hitting the painted squashes requires a successful attack against AC
"Bad doggy don't make me slice you" Chuffy brandishes his dog slicer at his mount
Poog successfully wrangles his mount forward...
...and blows up one of the 'gnomes' with a bolt of Zarongel's fire!
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Chuffy - under treat of using his dog slicer to ..well, slice his doggy - manages to get his mount back on track and prevents both of them tumbling down the loose rocks. Safely arriving down by the gnome looking squashes.
Poog has no problems getting a good angle at his target and sends the first blue hatted squash up in flames, sending burning pieces of squash everywhere
Greta goes down the ridge and ends up side by side to Chuffy
Impressed by the fiery doom he created Poog is almost distracted and misses the sharp pointy thorns of the brambles right in front of you
.
Poog manages to stay on his Goblin Dog...
...and successfully goads it into leaping over the bramble cluster, even managing to retain his seating in the process!
Riding quickly Mogmurch joins the fun
Chuffy Yells "That way!" as he guides his mount towards the gnomes
And then tries to slice off a gnome head
"Thats ya last prank pinkie"
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Mogmurch manages to clear the mud and the ridge and joins the others just as they start to smash some squash.
Greta and Chuffy hack their targets into tiny pieces, exploding in innards of the squash all over the area (with Chuffy getting his pieces to go just a tiny bit further then Greta's).
As they give chase to Poog, getting ready to jump over the brambles
Poog manages to stay on his Goblin Dog...
...and successfully goads it into leaping over the bramble cluster, even managing to retain his seating in the process! Heading for the finish line
Poog is in the lead..but will someone catch up to him before the end?
Seeing the finish line in sight, Poog frantically tries to maintain his lead!
"Leave one painty for me......
Throwing a bomb he jumps happily in glee as it explodes.
"JUMP, you son of a horse and a dog, jump!"
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Reta manages to make it over the brambles with a brilliantly executed jump landing her near the finish line
Mogmurch tries to catch up
..and he almost falls of his mount as it gets close to the brambles but with some effort manages to hold on as it clears the brambles.
As you all cross the finish ..well scribble in the dirt..can't really call it a line Munkle scratches his head.
"This is not how race works, only one should cross finish line! I gives up! You decide who get's price!"
Mungle tosses a small jar in front of you filled with some gooey stuff that smells really, really a lot like bacon
"Here take Goo of tastes like bacon and make feel better"
A jar of this unguent is 3 inches in diameter and 1 inch deep, and contains five applications.
Placed upon a poisoned wound or swallowed, the ointment detoxifies any poison (as neutralize poison with a +5 bonus on the check). Applied to a diseased area, it removes disease (as remove disease with a +5 bonus on the check). Rubbed on a wound, the ointment cures 1d8+5 points of damage (as cure light wounds).
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The next set of goblins prepared a bit of fun—accented with a whiff of burning and a taste of explosions. The goblins made a number of straw effigies representing some of the goblin chieftains’ conquests. Six of these crude dummies are fashioned into dog shapes, three of them into horse shapes, and one particularly lumbering creation somewhat resembles an ogre (meant to represent Pa Munchmeat. The straw figures are arranged in the clearing 10 feet from the front of the low platform, and each of you is handed a single star candle firework.
After the fireworks are distributed, Trimple Rotmouth, a recent convert to Zarongel under Poog’s tutelage, explains that the goal of this “adventure” is to shoot the fireworks into the straw effigies, preferably setting them on fire.
So each of you has 4 rounds worth of attacks to make; declare each round what you try to hit. In order to prevent people from hitting something that someone already set on fire previous round I'm not going to let you roll all 4 attacks at once, so first round of attacks from everyone please
Poog takes a shot at one of the dogs!
Chuffy looks at the fireworks and a wicked gleam appears in his beady eyes and he then tries to hurl his firework at the Pa munchmeat figure
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Poog takes a shot at one of the dogs! but in his enthusiasm he miss calculates his trajectory and the ball he shoots lands at Poogs own feet (mostly because as a goblins Poog has no idea what a trajectory is)
Chuffy looks at the fireworks and a wicked gleam appears in his beady eyes and he then fires his firework in the direction of the Pa munchmeat figure..but the wind is blowing into his eyes and his aim if off.
Lighting her canlde and carefully aiming at a dog Greta hopes for the best.
Poog keeps trying to 'kill' a 'dog'...
...grinning widely when he manages to blow one up!
Dissappointed that his firework is not lodged in the pa Munchmeat straw man Chuffy takes out his hand crossbow and shoots a dog with a flaming bolt
Next round Mogmurch will shoot again at the dog.
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Dissappointed that his firework is not lodged in the pa Munchmeat straw man Chuffy takes out his hand crossbow and shoots a dog with a flaming bolt at the same time the stick of fireworks in his other hand still spews out a little ball of flames which hits a watching goblin spectator in the right eyes. "Lefty" is hopping mad but the other goblins jump up and down and cheer and shout, not seeming to care that Chuffy isn't following the rules as long as they see things go up in flames.
Mogmurch shoots at one of the dogs, but it lands a bit short.
Reta points her BOOM stick at the Ogre and let's it rip
and she manages to hit it in the side of it's big ugly nose
Everyone is up for round 3
Greta shoots at the other ogre aiming for the tummy.
But the shot goes WIIILD.
Reta thinks this is WILDLY funny! And cackles Madly!