Avistan waves the Dukes smoke away from his face, still clearly disgusted with the amount of smoking and drinking that takes place in what is supposed to be a professional environment.
"An excellent question Duke. I also propose we look into who didn't vote against Clive? Who didn't vote at all? It would only make sense for those who didn't want to do any harm to their own to either vote for somebody else or remain neutral when the evidence was so clearly placed in front of them."
"Red Robert and Sven didn't vote for Clive. Although Sven rooted him out.".
Jimmy stands and sweeps his glass around. " Duke, you and Robert seem to have some history. Does he seem right to you?"
"If I had wanted to save Nunnlif Clive - because real Clive was already gone - I wouldn't have drawn attention to Russ's hint. And if I were a nunnlif, I think I would have definitely voted against Clive once I saw there were enough votes to carry the day. So I'd look at the later votes for Clive, myself." Sven takes a long hit from his water bottle to keep hydrated. "I'm not sure they had time to do anything, Duke, or to give us any more clues than Russ did. The creatures were fast off the mark to take out those who could identify them."
We just need to get two more and we're safe. Dash says Two more.
"Way to stretch yourself with the arithmetic there, Dash." Jimmy shakes his head.
"These monsters are cunning, smart. But I think one has overplayed his hand. I think Red Robert is a slimy tentacled BEM at heart. And I'm willing to risk his life to prove it."
"Willing to risk me life? How about ya try take it yerself? If I am to die how's about we do it like gentlemen? I accuse you of bein a filthy ruttin monster and you accuse me. Duel me. I'm sure we can find a knife apiece. Yer a bloody animal Jimmy but I'll fight ya. Brave enough to do the same?"
"I was wrong about Clive, he tricked me that is for sure. But isn that what those nunliffs do? They truck us, they kill us. I've made mistakes, I am human like you all. Or well... at least some of you!"
He looked at the Duke before sighing. "I'm a horses arse Duke. I thought yeh had been replaced by one of em. Forgive an old drunk? It ain't me though. I'll swear it by anything ya ask of me!"
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"Ah Jimmy and Robert, don't make me choose, it is my fondest hope that you are each still the men that made this trip with me aboard the icebreaker 'Titanic', and I look at everyone and I have nothing to go on, not a single inkling of whom to suspect."
"Clive seemed as Clive to me the whole time, I had faith in Russ, that he had tested and re-tested Clive in order to say yes for near certain."
If it comes down to the creepy guy who's been lying to us the whole time and was able to go anywhere he wanted to while 'cleaning' up and Rob. Then I'm with Rob!
"It was difficult to vote for Clive, even with the thread of evidence against him. Voting for anyone at this point, on a guess knowing full well I may be sending one of my friends to their death in my ignorance, it makes me ill. I am sorry Jimmy." Mike says, his head hung low, refusing to look at anyone as he makes his vote.
"I just don't know. If I'm voting based on suspect and get it wrong, their blood will be on my hands. If I do nothing I'll be ripped apart by tentacles. This decision is impossible. Somebody help me!
"I'm not too keen on breaking my promises," Alexander says, turning to look at Robert. "You've been pointing fingers all willy-nilly from the start. At humans, no less. It's time for you to meet your maker. Whatever the hell it is that made you nunnlif scum, anyway."
" A duel is it Robert? What happened to your noble speech about giving yourself up rather than letting anyone else die. It was just a bluff.
And you didn't vote for Clive. That's the only reason I'm nominating you for the chair. But at least it's a reason. "
Jimmy looks around somewhat desperately at the hardening faces. " You're picking me because you don't like me, maybe you're jealous of the Nobel Prize I nearly had. I'm smarter and was more successful than any of you. I can still figure this out. But if you put me in that chair, you'll not only kill a man. You'll significantly improve the odds of dieing surrounded by monsters you thought you liked."
Thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthinkthink...
Sven sits with his eyes closed to shut out the horrid sight of "Clive's" corpse, though nothing shuts out the acrid reek of fried nunnlif. The big man rocks back and forth, obviously making a great number of mental calculations. Finally, he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes, startlingly bright blue against his chalk-pale face.
"I have a couple of theories. I hate to say them out loud, but I do have a vote ready. I vote for The Red Robert being a creature. And if it's wrong and he turns out to be human... Maxerson, you get my next vote." Swallowing hard, the ornithologist holds out an empty glass to the Duke. "If you would, please. This is eating at my last nerve. I don't think much of the frat boy atmosphere of eco-tourism, but this... this is a little different. Doesn't hurt to be numb."
Jimmy nods gratefully to Sven. Then he sizes up those voting against him and the two on the fence.
"Dash, you're on the wrong side of this. You belong with us. Change your vote to Red Robert. I'm as human as you are."
"Mike, I don't how you could turn on me. How could you side with the puking wonder over me?"
"Tharp. I know we don't get along, but don't let that cloud your judgement. If Russ was still alive, he'd tell you that I'm human."
"Duke, I hate to say it, but you've got to make a choice. Make the right one."
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The duke takes another snifter of brandy....
"I have known Robert a long time and the thought that he may already be dead is too much for me to bear, Jimmy I think is a target because of his occupational choice being socially incongruent with his overtly innate intelligence, I have seen this before in persons who came up in extreme poverty."
"Patience with me friends, this is a difficult decision."
As Jimmy speaks to him Mike tries to make himself smaller as his face falls even further and turns a pale shade of green. "I am sorry Jimmy. I don't know, but we have to vote for someone." He pauses for a second before continuing in a rush as he looks at Jimmy with a pleading look, "and Jimmy you were taking pictures of the dead why would you take pictures of the dead??"
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Jimmy laughs. "Because I'm a scientist, Mike. I'm a cheat, but I am a scientist. I took pictures of the cat. I cryo-preserved the cat. Because if we get out of this, the world's got to know. If we all die here but take the monsters with us somehow, the world's still got to know. And it's got to know more than just 'monsters!'. It needs a handle on these things. Who knows what's in that DNA and what we could do with it. Poor dead Meowselworth may do more for mankind than killing off a few generations of mice. And he might just rehabilitate my reputation."
"I haven't followed up with Clive, but he won't fit in the freezer. I'll get to it yet. Meanwhile I've been a little busy defending my life."
"Well crap Jimmy, that was the primary piece of evidence I was using to justify my vote." Mike sits down and sighs heavily. "I knew your secret, I had seen it in the files, I never gave it much thought though. What you say makes sense. That being said, you have been different Jimmy. You are always cranky and crabby, but get past that and you are a good guy. Since this all started though I just get a different vibe from you."
After speaking his piece Mike sits quietly for awhile before continuing, "Should I vote for Red Robert?? I do not know him at all, so that would be the easy way out. He has acted exactly the same before and after, I know you basically have as well Jimmy, but like I said, that gut feeling. Vote for Dash? I spent much time tormenting him trying to hide my smoking and him acting all Buford T. Justice about it, is that worth voting for him? The others? How the hell AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW???" Mike finishes in a yell before looking around and repeating in a small soft voice, "damn it, how the hell am I supposed to know????"
You can know cause that big old stinky bastard is my roommate and I'd know that odor anywhere! Dash yells. Yeah that's right. He's human.
Robert grins as Dash speaks up, glancing across the room at the man. "Well there you have it Jimmy, Alexander. My human credentials, backed by the one man who would know fer sure, the poor sod who has ta share a room with me. Aye me and Dash are Roommates, so I know he is human too. What say you to that?"
Mike quickly steps back away the two, looking around for the strike he is certain is aimed at the two who just revealed massive targets upon their bodies. As he backs away he stutters "Of course, it could be the two of you are the nunnlifs, how are we to know for sure? Does anyone else want to put a target on their chest by claiming to be roommates thus disproving their claim?"
As no one speaks, and the retributive strike does not come, Mike eases closer to Dash or Robert relieved to know for certain someone who's identity he can trust.
"That is a tough piece of information to compete with. Unless somebody is able to make a statement that will disregard Dash and Robert's claim I'm afraid I will have to side with Sven's hunch. I'm sorry Maxerson, I'very suspected you right from the beginning. If I'm not right on this, I'll atone for it while burning in Hell. "
Alexander blinks at Robert and Dash's rather brazen reveal.
"What? No. Ugh. Damn it. Fine, you're off the chopping block. You've both got some serious stones on you. And some serious guts. But speaking of guts, I still think that haggis is f@!#ing disgusting."
Looking to Mike, he shakes his head and grunts. "Cunning as these nunnlifs have been so far, it'd be mighty stupid of them to draw attention to themselves with such an obvious ruse."
Finally, he looks to Sven and Tharp with a look of disdain. "You think I'm a nunnlif? I could see the angry Scot voting for me, but you two?"
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"I myself was sore tempted to examine the deceased to look for signs of how and what we are facing, but doing so would have caused suspicion, at this point we do not even know how these things kill. Back in the day the CIA had a heart attack gun, that fired a very small frozen classified liquid, jellyfish toxin, that degraded so fast is was basically undetectable, and so small it only left a red dot on the skin over the heart, natural causes."
"I got no clue who is who or what, as I said everyone seems normal to my eyes."
Jimmy cocks his head. "Boldly spoken, Dash. I can't see a reason for you to lie about that. My carefully structured suspicions against Robert are laid waste. I can't believe that Alex is a monster. He saved me when I would have been lynched. And Sven outed Clive. That leaves Mike, Tharp, and Duke Leto.". Jimmy sighs. " I guess Tharp."
" Sven, change your vote."
Avistan is shocked at Jimmy the Janitor Smith's decision!
Sven, who has been deep in thought, suddenly laughs. "He did tell us!" the ornithologist says cryptically, "Russ, you brilliant and subtle bastard. Wish I'd known you better. It's not Maxerson, much as I hate his TV show. And it's not Dash and Robert, because somebody would have spoken up to contradict them by now. So my remaining suspect list is: Tharp, Mike, Jimmy, and the Duke. Heck, even guessing gives us a 50-50 shot." It appears the brandy has managed to lubricate the synapses of the man's brain and free it of its deadly embrace condition.
Mick scratches his head in confusion, "How do we know it is not Alexander?" After a moment he continues with a look of suspicion, "Or did the two of you discover something about each other as we were strapping Clive into the chair? No one was killed by the nunnlifs, and now you are protecting someone on no evidence. Is it the two of you?? ARE YOU TWO THE REMAINING NUNNLIFS?" Mike shouts as he points at the Alexander and Sven, backing away quickly.
"Russ told us it wasn't Maxerson, Mike. Remember: "I almost voted for Maxerson" or something like that? My hypothesis is that he suspected that TV fraud and tested him. Saying he almost voted against Alexander but didn't was his way of telling us he picked up some stray DNA of Maxerson's - somehow - and tested it, found it human. Of course, he could have been wrong. But his next test picked up Clive, and he was right on that one. I'm going to trust him on Maxerson. Just because I despise somebody doesn't mean they're a monstrous alien freak. Freak, yeah, but not the tentacled kind."
The brandy also seems to have taken some of the political-correctness subroutines offline.
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"Russ told us it wasn't Maxerson, Mike. Remember: "I almost voted for Maxerson" or something like that?"
The brandy also seems to have taken some of the political-correctness subroutines offline.
"Yes! That is exactly the kind of thing I was trying to remember. Can anyone else confirm that Russ that clever geneticist did indeed clear Maxerson?"
Mike sits down, thinking deeply, "He did say he almost voted for Alexander, although I got the impression he was expressing regret. If he had voted for Alexander then the vote would have been tied and we would not have strapped Doctor Wilkens to the device. It is something though. Along those same lines, Russ gave Avistan a super secret fist bump, very thin but it is something."
"Russ talked about Maxerson out of nowhere. Nobody else was discussing him. And this was after Wilkins... died, so Russ surely had time to test somebody by then. He couldn't come right out and say that Maxerson was OK or he'd give himself away. So out of the blue, he suddenly announces he was suspicious of Maxerson but wasn't anymore. Because voting for Maxerson wouldn't have tied anything. Maxerson wasn't on the list, Mike. Russ could have voted for Maxerson without affecting results. He didn't. He just said something afterwards for no apparent reason."
Sven hiccups lightly and holds out his glass for more brandy. "Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm seeing things in every little word Russ uttered. But I don't think so. I think he was honest, careful, and honorable in his use of power. Didn't go throwing around kill votes like Jimmy, because he knew his words carried weight in death as in life. No, I trust Russ, may he rest in peace."
"You are correct Sven, I was thinking Alexander had already received a vote. I agree, with the little amount of evidence we have, and the fact that his cryptic clue was correct about Clive, any hint from Russ should be taken as fact."
Russ was good people. Guy got only two chances to do his thing before the nunliffs got him. Dash says a lot more solemnly than his usual hysteria. I'll take Maxerson off my list of suspicious people too.
Sven perches carefully upright on his chair, trying to focus on Dash. "Huh? Didn't say Maxerson wasn't suspishus. Guy's a total fraud, making all kinds of money off that fake survival show. Heard he stayed in a luxury hotel when he was supposed ta have been in a rain forest treehouse. And I'd bet money he has battery-heated underwear on right now!" He shakes his head. "Makin' money while the Earth warms and the penguins die. Sumb@+#* fraud."
Confusion crosses the big man's features for a second and he rises to walk around and drink water. "Whew. Stuff packs a punch, Duke. So you're one of the creatures... maybe. And Tharp and Smith and Cooper. Of course, your lists all look different from mine. Lotsa votes for Jimmy. I mean, I can see why. Jesus, man, do you even have a mirror? You couldn't look scarier unless you had tentacles sprouting where your ears used to be!"
" It's true, Russ fistbumped Tharp. But he was slow doing it and passed it off as placating the boss. Still, on the strength of that I'll reverse my vote. I was merely guessing anyway."
"Now I've got to convince you not to waste your votes on me. Whatever I look like, I am not a nunnlif. Unfortunately there's only one thing I can say, and it will be like signing my death warrant"
"I trusted Dash's defense of Robert because I know Dash is human. The monsters came for him but I stopped them. Unfortunately I couldn't get a good look. I don't know who the attacker was. With Robert and Tharp cleared, my list is down to Mike and Duke Leto. I'll support any vote against them."
He cradles his head in his hands. "Now they'll be gunning for me. I won't be able to hold them off long. I'm getting my sawsall!"
Mike throws his hands in the air, "What???"
For some reason, Sven's comments about Alexander's show seem to offend him far more than any accusations of him being inhuman.
"Careful about who you call a fraud around here, Sven. You know what we do to those around here," he says darkly, his face turning beet red. "I'll have you know that Arctic Survivor won more awards than Planet Earth and March of the Penguins combined! Morgan Freeman wishes that he had the pleasure of narrating my life!"
Sven rises to yell drunkenly in Maxerson's face. "Your life? YOUR life? That piece of fiction you use to make yourself the celebusoldier du jour? Dude, I'd LOVE to see your brains fried, but unfortunately, you're human. Hey, monsters? Eat this guy next. He's a *@&&#@." He shoves Alex's shoulder so the monsters know just which guy he meant.
"We can't let our protector fry and we can't afford to tie. I was gonna vote Tharp, 'cause I think Mike's reason is weak and that Russ was afraid of Tharp. But if Jimmy'll vote for either the Duke or Mike with someone, I'll vote Mike. We can't sit and let them get us. If it's not Mike, then the Duke and Tharp have to go. Unless Russ was wrong, and we're all f~%@ed." Sven hiccups. "I think. Somebody double-check my work. And you guys voting for Jimmy, back offa him."
"Based on the new evidence defending Maxerson I am now less confident in my decision to vote against him. When somebody's life is on the line, one must be entirely confident in their decision.
"Duke, I look forward to the look on your face when you realize the mistake you're making. The others are correct in defending me. I have no tentacles. Russ was my friend and were he here I know he would come to my defense as I did for him. I want you to know that as soon as you're exposed as a monster and we can put this situation behind us, I'm going to take your Icebreaker - Titanic for one epic joyride off this continent."
"Sven, I am guilty of exactly two things. 1 - Kraft hired me to hack into Clive's personal files and get all his chees secrets. 2 - Cruella De Vil hired me to gather all of Sven's data on penguins and their habitat. Something about the feasibility of a sustainable penguin population for penguin-skin purses and boots. That is it, I am NOT A MONSTER!!" After his outburst Mike shrugs, "I am not sure what I can do to prove my word"
"I might be a *@&&#@, but at least I'm not a drunken, penguin-humping hippie!" Alexander howls back, instinctively swinging his arm out at Sven like a gorilla on steroids. "It's a good thing you're human, 'cause the chair is too damned good for you! Once this mess is all said and done, if the nunnlif hasn't taken you first, I'll take you down the old-fashioned way!"
At the Duke's mention of his military experience, Alexander's face only seems to turn redder...