Disappointed at his inability to even pierce the porky skin (though he does like the bruise he left behind) Chuffy pouts a little. When Mogmurch's bomb sets Piggie aflame, however, he jumps for joy, "Go Mogmurch! Flames! Fire! Burn, Piggie, Burn!"
The proximity of such fierce heat causes a good third of Chuffy's pimples to suddenly expand and burst. Chuffy has a minor... crisis... at the pleasure this causes him. Delighted from his skin and the fire in his eyes, Chuffy decides to engage a third sense and tears off a piece of crackling and chews happily on Piggy.
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Rita's eyes light up as the weapon explodes over the piggy, the heat washing over her as the pig falls. Laughing like a loon, she rushes forward to join Chuffy, gorging herself on the half-cooked pig, before a thought comes to her. Her cheeks stuffed with pork, she says, "This piggy have armor on. Why this piggy have armor on?"
"Piggy must belong to someone," says Chuffy, the gravity of that statement completely lost on him as he continues to enjoy the semi-roasted pork.
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"The piggy now belong to goblin hero of piggy battle," the big-headed goblins says in a lilting yet gravelly voice, looking at one specific companion while batting her eyelashes. Awkwardly, Reta doesn't get the timing of closing and opening her eyes quite right, and instead looks as the though she is taking long, exaggerated blinks.
"To moggy-murchie!" says call to the others. "Piggy slayer and goblin who OK at giggle-pokes!"
"It be Pa Muchmeat's piggy." Poog says in a drawn out voice, trying to sound wise and noble.
"Good work Mugmurch. That why you be Chief Boom-Maker. Nobody make booms like Mug. From this point foward, Chief Poog declare that when anyone say BOOM - they can also say MUG and it mean same thing."
"Lets keep moving. Hopefully Pa Munchmeat not have many more of those piggys..." Poog says, fingering his wand of fireball and the shiney necklace he wears around his neck.
Having contented himself, Chuffy starts pacing around the field of their victory patting his belly and belching loudly. He takes his time to look for anything valuable - particularly whatever was making Piggie able to breath fire!
"Poogie, are we gonna leave soon? Chuffy wants to kill Ogre now! Pa Munchmeat can munch my sword! Reta and Moggy need healing first. Not do to have brave gobbo warriors die too early," When they could be shielding Chuffy, "Poogie not looking so good his self." Chuffy holds his blade gleefully aloft. While it is not covered in fresh pig's blood, it is still covered in pig's blood. Speaking of that... Chuffy takes a long large lick from the dogslicer.
"Chief Poogie?" asks Chuffy as he's picking through the battlefield for scraps, waiting until the other goblins are out of earshot, "You gonna heal subjects or self? Is better to have healthy meat shields than sick ones! Pa Munchmeat sure to not go down easy. Need tip-top non-stop goblins for this!"
Poog shakes off whatever fantasy he was having, likely dealing with something burning down. Perhaps a chief mounted on a fire-breathing pig.
that would be mighty gift from zarongel...
Snapping back to reality, he walks around to each of his subjects, healing them with his wand.
"Chuffy right. Lets go. Kill Pa Munchmeat, return birdcruncher hero chiefs."
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The goblins all enjoy a feast of barely roasted pig, and then move on, after their new Great Chief deigns to heal them. It doesn't take too much time to get there, save that the gobbos now have very full stomachs. Luckily for them, they digest food quickly, and have insanely high metabolisms!
Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It’s balanced on numerous thick log stilts that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they’re best at growing mud and weeds.
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A single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot-covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads.
The sign handing from the arch reads, in Common, "Tresprs wil b eatn!" The one near the three goblin heads reads, "Yous gobluns taste YUM! Send moar gobluns!"
"Sounds good Rita. You poke, poog burn, mugmurch mug, chuffy slice, reta poke too. "
Poog fingers the necklace he wears and grabs the largest of the beads, stopping just short of ripping it off.
"let's go .."
-Posted with Wayfinder
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"Reta get ready to defend Poog,," Reta begins, unintentionally releasing an exasperated sigh and drawing her dogslicer. "Poog cheif... what Poog say go..."
Reta prepares herself for the inevitable battle with Pa Munchmeat, "Or maybe Poog go talk to Pa Munchmeat, tell him should leave?" Reta asks with a laugh, hoping Poog may not realize her trickery.
"Wait here. Not do like last time. Chuffy will check out perimeter," says Chuffy, pulling his cloak high over his head, he notices without care that the collar is already developing a crust of dried puss, "Me be back soon as possible. If me scream and run, get ready. Me coming straight for you."
With that, Chuffy slinks down behind a hedge and heads towards the upturned boat.
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Looking to her left, Reta sees the other big-headed goblin readying her own shortbow. Looking at the dogslicer grasped firmly in her knobby fingers, Reta shrugs and tucks the blade into her belt, cutting the material to the point where it could snap at any moment. A second later, she has also drawn her bow and knocks an arrow, repeatedly glancing over her shoulder at Rita, as if to take direction.
"Was gonna do this anyways..." she says under her breath. Turning ahead, chuffy's bent, stalking figure move quietly forward, and Reta draws back on the bow ready to launch an arrow if danger should appear.
Poog continues to finger the necklace he wears, almost itching to grab a bead and throw it. In one hand he carries his flaming dogslicer, though its flames are hidden from view for now. In the other, his wand of fireball is ready to be used as well. At the last minute, he has what could be the best, or worst idea ever.
Whispering to Reta, he hands the necklace to her. "Pull beads, throw at pa munchmeat and his pigs. Big Boom. Don't stick beads where you usually do."
zarongel gonna love the way we burn pa munchmeat! he thinks excitedly.
Slinking forward and across the bridge, Poog is ready to unleash unholy fire on whatever shows itself in this farm.
"Poogie!" Chuffy hisses as the would-be-chief approaches, "Me can hear and see you! Leave sneaking to Chuffy!"
The sneaky little goblin then continues to hunker down, makes sure that none of his wrong-footed companions are following him and then moves off again on his scouting mission.
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Whispering to Reta, he hands the necklace to her. "Pull beads, throw at pa munchmeat and his pigs. Big Boom. Don't stick beads where you usually do."
The big-headed goblins sticks a jaggedly-clawed finger in her ear and twists in a disturbingly violent motion. "Bees?!" she questions aloud, obviously not hearing Poog correctly. "Where be Reta putting bees?"
She stumbles around behind Poog, keeping her eyes frantically looking for any bees which may be about. "Ok, Reta throw beads until bees are found..."
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An upturned boat, an old river barge by the look of it, sits in the mud here. The boat’s stern has been built into the fence, and a large hole has been smashed in the southern side to provide entrance to the dark hollow created by the hull.
Chuffy does also see something large and pinkish blocking the large hole.
How may pigs does this ogre have? wonders Chuffy, nearly aloud, Well, if piggy is stuck, no need for poking. We take home for lunch when we kill Pa Munchmeat!
Chuffy will continue sneaking and heading on his way (as marked).
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Chuffy sees another, smaller pig in the ship. That pig starts squealing, but the other, fatter pig doesn't seem to want to move.
The scrawny, disgusting goblin manages to haul himself up the side of the boat.
Poog and friends move up to the small building.
This flimsy structure seems to have started out as a workshed, but its sagging walls have been almost entirely overtaken by rampant plantlife.
Poog notices some gourds like the one that they found on the big pig buried in the tangle of vines and roots in the shed.
Poog mumbles some things to himself, not wanting to fight more pigs at the same time as an ogre, and an idea pops into his gobliny brain.
Me tell piggies to eat, goblins leave them alone...
Trying to be as sneaky as he can, Poog goes down to get the gourd, telling the others to stay where they are.
He tells the others with a whisper, "Stay here, get ready to shoot ogre and throw big booms if Poog not a quiet chief..."
Chuffy does indeed move on, inspecting the structures to the north of the hut.
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Staying away from a dangerous encounter was certainly in the forefront of Rita's thinking, so she nods her hurried agreement to Poog's instructions, grinning madly as she sticks her right thumb up. She gets ready as instructed, only noticing many seconds later that the string is on the opposite side of the bow from her. Thinking quickly, she extends the bow over her shoulders, rubbing it up and down her back. "Ahhhhh...that feel good." She says, rather unconvincingly. She then turns the bow the proper way, ready to cover her chief if need be.
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Poog is able to recover three of the gourds. He thinks that if a goblin were to eat one, it would work very much like a weak version of the dragon breath gourd that they used against Vorka.
Looking around, Rita and Reta notice that there is about a 9' gap under the house, and that there is something moving underneath there. Something big.
Chuffy and Mogmurch keep moving around.
I hope they don't set fire to the house. The last thing we need is everything inside that house to come running out at once! Chuffy recalls the last time they fought everything at once. How did we even survive that?
Poog hands one each of the gourds to the females following him. Whispering, he says, "eat. breath fire. don't burn down house... yet." he says with a hideously devious smile. He creeps just a bit closer to see what the large thing is under the hut.
Ohhh, don't want to let everything that is here know we are here all at once... Still don't know how we survived that the last time...
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"Reta breathe fire! she voices a hushed exclamation, grasping the gourd and shoving it unceremoniously into her gaping mouth. "...tastes like... burning" Reta says in a disgruntled fashion, holding the delicate beads still uncomfortably warm to the touch.
Let's burn the house down... she thinks, flashing a devilish grin.
Poog encourages the other Rita to eat a gourd as well. Just as he is about to take a bite himself, he notices Mugmurch approaching. Instead of eating it himself, he passes the 3rd gourd to the alchemist.
"eat and breath fire. wait to breath fire on big baddie. then make him boom."
Poog has the best sub-chiefs ever. Sub-chiefs love poog. Poog love them.
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"Mogmurch meataterian. No eat veggies. You hungry? Mogmurch have juicy slug in a small pot. You want me to eat so I can breathe fire? Breathe fire?"
Mogmurch sits down. Breathe fire and no have to throw things. Woah. Maybe Poogie good chief after all. Kill Chuffy, then be after Poog in chief order, take Reta and Rita to see bullfrong pond.
Mogmurch holds his nose, and begins to devour the gourd, gourd bits flying everywhere.