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My group is about to finish Hell's Vengeance this coming Saturday and I wanted to get some feedback regarding my Hellknight Tyrant Antipaladin's speech to try to convince Lord Marshal Cansellarion to come on over to the dark side.
I'll use the Spoiler tag in case some folks haven't played the AP yet.
Note that almost all of this is a speech my Antipaladin plans to say. There is one line that I expect Cansellarion will say. It's a question and it should be obvious which is her question.
Keep in mind that my antipaladin character has gathered quite a bit of information from various sources including from the lictor of the Order of the Godclaw and Queen Abrogail's spymaster/spymistress.
It concerns your soul.
Your actions over the past several months have damned you, and if you'll give me time to explain, I think you'll agree.
I know you've heard a voice in your head since you were quite small. You still listen to it to this day.
When you were a child, this voice told you to protect the weak, yes?
This same voice more recently told you to gather an army and reclaim Heart's Edge from the Order of the Godclaw, too, yes? And you did just that.
The Church of Iomedae politely asked the Order to turn over Heart's Edge to them, and the Order rebuffed your Church.
You, at the voice's urging, decided the Order of the Godclaw was just a bunch of heretics and that YOU should just take it from them.
So you started your "Glorious Reclamation" to lay siege to Citadel Dinyar and attack its defenders, be they adherents of Asmodeus, Abadar, Torag, Irori, or even Iomedae. No one would stand in your (and the voice's) way, no matter who they worshiped.
You thought they were all unworthy to wield your desire, Heart's Edge, even though they were worthy enough to recover it. Isn't that right?
You didn't even TRY to approach the Lictor of the Order of the Godclaw to resolve the matter without violence through diplomacy. You just decided that violence was the only route to achieve your desire.
What was the Second act of Iomedae, Lord Marshal?
Without drawing her sword, Iomedae used wordplay and diplomacy to defeat the Pallid Sisters, a coven of witches in Garund. Isn't it odd that your voice wanted you to resort to violence without trying to make a deal for Heart's Edge through diplomacy first? That would seem to be the way Iomedae would have handled it. Don't you agree?
So you took the sword by force and headed West with your army.
But instead of heading to Egorian (where your supposed true enemy, Queen Abrogail, was) with your army of thousands, you, for some reason, headed to Westcrown instead.
You took Westcrown and then decided to lay siege to Citadel Rivad and the Order of the Rack. Your army of thousands encamped there, seemingly not doing as much to take Citadel Rivad as they did to take Citadel Dinyar, did they? It was almost as if you had finished with your army.
So, my question is, did you tell them?
Cansellarion responds, "Tell them what?"
Did you tell them that your and Silvereye's families were from Westcrown originally and that you lost your estates during the Chelaxian Civil War? I'll bet they thought you were from Isger.
If you had told them that you and Silvereye were going to re-take your family estates, would they have followed you to Westcrown instead of aiming at the more sensible target of Egorian? That is where your true enemies, the Thrunes, were, after all.
As they waited outside of Citadel Rivad, that's when their true nightmare began. That explosion killed THOUSANDS of good Iomedaen knights, soldiers, clerics, and engineers, yes? And then those HUGE Nightwalkers took care of the rest, inflicting unknowable terror on the remnants of your army as they sliced their way through fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. Who's left to carry out your reclamation now? Iomedaens from many lands, including Taldor, Isger, Cheliax, Molthune, and Andoran, answered your call, and now they're all dead.
You didn't take Westcrown for altruistic reasons. You took it for self-serving ones. You got your army killed because you and Silvereye were more interested in your estates than facing the Thrunes.
In the end, selfishness and pride are what damned you, Lord Marshal – simple selfishness and pride. First, it was Heart's Edge because YOU desired it, and second, it was your estate in Westcrown because of your silly pride.
Look, I don't know who that voice was, but it should be abundantly CLEAR that it wasn't Iomedae. She wouldn't have done what you did.
Having said that, I don't blame you for what you did. I might have done the exact same thing. I would indeed have taken Heart's Edge from who I thought were my enemies. But my Lord would have approved of that. Asmodeus admires strength.
You are strong, too. I am sure my Lord would accept you as one of his unholy crusaders.
I can help you with whoever that voice was, as well. I can teach you the way of the Measure and the Chain if you like. You will be the master of yourself. No emotions to get in the way. No strange voices in your head to distract you or lead you astray as this one did.
I can show you a better way. A way where you no longer have to put on airs. A way where self-interest has a place in your life. You can be yourself and not have to apologize to anyone for it.
What do you say?
Is that convincing enough? Any big holes in the argument? Anything my character might have missed?
The GM told me there is a "roll play" procedure to determine whether she turns or not (Diplomacy, Bluff, Sense Motive rolls) that I could do instead if I didn't want to actually come up with a good narrative myself, but I didn't want to just roll some dice.
So my character's success or failure is really going to depend on what I've written above.
Let me know what you think, please.

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My antipaladin (Traxis) convinced the Lord Marshal, Alexeara Cansellarion to fall. Yay!
For that, the GM ruled that Asmodeous was very please and made my character's Hellfire Halo more potent by making it give +4 to all three mental stats instead of the +2 to mental stats it was "created" with.
Queen Abrogail was also very pleased so she awarded Traxis the Korradath in Westcrown to be used as the headquarters for his new Hellknight order.
Very successful conclusion to the AP!