First off - this is not about me frustrating my partners... Its me being frustrated by the dedication level of the players I am with.
I agree to join in a game, I AM IN. I wake up 4:40AM and am at work by 5:30AM, working until I get home anywhere between 3PM and 6PM. From there I feed my cats, chickens and ducks, change the ducks bath every two days, clean up any kitchen stuff that needs doing and make dinner for the house (I do the cooking/grilling and baking in the house because I enjoy it.)
Most nights I work at home on my work laptop to keep myself up and make the job easier, going to bed around 10PM. Sometimes I take a break from working at night and paint mini's. Maybe once a week I have a few drinks while I am working from home to take an edge off also.
Despite how busy that is, and fitting in laundry, moving things about the house, basement and garage for my wife and elderly mother who lives with us, I still find time to drop in to the PBP every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, and post when it is needed to move the game forward.
My work is 10+hr days AND working an additional 3-4hrs or so from home, PLUS the domestic things... so when I see... "sorry haven't posted in a week, I got swamped at work." Well, I am a forgiving guy by nature, and I do not know their job, but I see what I do and what efforts I make to keep things going in a game I love and it becomes frustrating...
Not gonna quit. Not gonna judge. Not gonna confront. None of that is appropriate (walk 1,000 miles and all that) but it is still frustrating...
Did everyone discuss how often they would be posting before the game started? Did everyone agree to a particular frequency?
Or did you silently impose some expectations on people that they didn't know about and never agreed to? As the saying goes, "Expectations are premeditated resentments."
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I'm an impatient, multiple-times-a-day PbP poster too, but it's up to us to be sure we're in a group that wants to play that same style. You have to talk to the GM and all the other players and make sure they want that type of game-play before you join.
A quick look leads me to believe that it's this Dragon's Demand campaign that you're currently active in.
On the first page, the GM has this to say
Posting Rules
In most of my games, players are expected to post every weekday and at least once over the weekend. However, this game is specifically being done as a "slow" game. However, note that what for me is excruciatingly slow might be blisteringly fast for you. It has been my experience that when players permit themselves to post less than once a day, the game slows to a crawl and then dies of boredom with no one able to remember why they're involved in the first place. So, the requirement will be to post at least three times every week, you are strongly encouraged to shoot for every day.
Even if your character has no particular action to perform or you’re waiting for another player, you should post your character’s thoughts or actions, just to keep the story moving and let everyone know you’re alive!
All posts, even in combat should include descriptive color and preferably speech.
Characters should talk to and about each other, not just voice their own character’s observations on the immediate situation. We've all played a ton of games and it's not worth going through the motions just for the mechanics. Let's create interesting characters who form ties to the community!
Now, that was a long time ago, and perhaps everyone has discussed changing the posting rules since then, but if not, perhaps a more useful place to talk about your dissatisfaction would be the game discussion thread.
Currently, the agreed upon rules seem to be However, this game is specifically being done as a "slow" game with posting required at least three times every week, you are strongly encouraged to shoot for every day.
If that's not happening, you need to bring it up with the group. If that is happening, and you want to change it, you need to bring it up to the group. Venting here won't make any difference in the long run.
Martyrdom doesn't make the game any more fun for you or for anyone else.
Hmm... suffering of death in adherence to a cause. Nope, martyrdom is decidedly hyperbolic.
Nope, no changes discussed to the game rules. Just my own internal frustration. Resentment? Too personal. Life is WAY too short to resent - As mentioned a few times in the OP, I don't know their lives and I am a forgiving type as it is.
Just ranting. It does not take long or much for me to, "get over," most situations and choose to be happy instead - makes life more peaceful and simple. So... just a rant.
So why did you join a "slow" game, knowing that it would cause you frustration? It seems self-defeating to me to deliberately choose to engage in stressful activities as 'fun' or 'entertainment'.
I was, and am happy to get and be in on ANYTHING.
When I see the recruitment threads... if I see 60+ posts in there with 15 or more PC's already put forward, I do not even bother to submit. If it looks promising in any way, I put forth PC's and do not get chosen. With the three I did get chosen, two petered out within two months due to GM not being able to continue, leaving this one. The GM is steady and has a dependable record - so count myself lucky.
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I fully understand your frustrations.
The 'I am swamped at work' usually is just an over simplification of what is going on. Most of us face work peaks from time to time, but when this situation extends for weeks or even months, I think what people are trying to communicate is something more like 'I am so stressed and burned out that I cannot even think on pulling any creative juices to follow what you are doing here and write an accompanying text'. It is not that you are 16 h a day occupied, but that on your priceless free time your mind needs to do something liberating that does not involve thinking.
When you are in such a burnout situation, things get even worse the more games you are involved in. Maybe you can easily follow and give some post in 10 minutes everyday to your single game, but now, imagine people like me, in 12 different games, 3 of them as a GM, it involves dedicating anything between 1 and 3 hours a day. Now, some of your companions are involved even in more games. In such cases, imagine how they might feel about entering into the forums and face three hours of posting when what their body is calling for is to do some sport, socialize, or just lay down and rest.
I do not know how can we help these people, but they need to realize by themselves at some point, if the situation persists, that they need to drop some of the games in order to keep enjoying what remains and avoid future health problems for themselves.