| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
A topic that came up in a conversation recently.
Is it honest and/or good to desire or seek after something because it is a human instinct to do so, or intrinsic desire to have?
For example, a partner/spouse.
And following the above example; How is it any better than being in love with being in love?
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Honest maybe, good almost certainly not.
I'm not sure I'd call having a partner/spouse an intrinsic human desire. In many respects it's a cultural/social morality that we are indoctrinated into desiring. There is an argument that the natural human instinct is quite the opposite (at least for males).
As someone working in the criminal justice system, I have seen what happens when inhibitions are dropped and people stop following the rules taught to them by their parents and society (or were never taught them in the first place), and I have to say that following your instincts and desires rather than social mores is often a terrible thing - (some) humans are, deep down, not very nice. That social indoctrination is very much necessary.
yep! I may be feeling a little bit cynical today :)
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I'm not sure I'd call having a partner/spouse an intrinsic human desire. In many respects it's a cultural/social morality that we are indoctrinated into desiring. There is an argument that the natural human instinct is quite the opposite (at least for males).
Human pair bonding, even for human males, is well-established. If there's an argument, it's a poor and/or uninformed one.
That is to say, humans, even human males, desire a partner. This is most definitely not the same as a "spouse," given the cultural baggage associated with marriage and selecting the "right" spouse.
In response to the OP's question,.... well, you might as well ask the same question about urination, which is a also a basic human instinct. Is it good to pee? The medics are pretty clear about that one, in that it's very unhealthy not to pee. This doesn't make it "good," per se, and it also doesn't mean that simply peeing without any regard for context or consequences (for example, all over my new rug) is something I would consider "good."
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Honest: Yes, if you are open about your motivation.
Good: No. It might lead to good or bad, but in itself it's neither, unless slavishly and unreflectively followed as a compulsion, then it is bad.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
According to me, amateur philosopher:
To seek something is not in itself a bad thing. It is the methods you use to get it that may make it bad. Nor is wanting something (anything, really) a bad thing, for the same reason. Other people, gods and whatever have jack all to do with what you want and what your goals are. If you break some eggs to get there, though, this changes.
That is the simple answer. The more complex answer is:
What you want and think does not only affect what you do. It also affects what you want and how you think. As has been stated, human instinct is brutal, harsh, wicked and sometimes monstrous. Some things you can think and seek will make it more difficult for you. So, even if an external morality/judgement/faith has no bearing on this, your future self and the situations you are brewing for it may. I am not saying you should not commit thoughtcrime, merely that you ought to be careful about the goals you set up and the thoughts you think because it can come back to hurt you.
It behooves us all to be a tiny bit careful.
A topic that came up in a conversation recently.
Is it honest and/or good to desire or seek after something because it is a human instinct to do so, or intrinsic desire to have?
For example, a partner/spouse.
And following the above example; How is it any better than being in love with being in love?
The two conditions are the same. Most situations of "being in love" are generally straight animal lust working it's way though human conventions.
It's your conduct pursuing those desires that tells the tale.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The two conditions are the same.A topic that came up in a conversation recently.
Is it honest and/or good to desire or seek after something because it is a human instinct to do so, or intrinsic desire to have?
For example, a partner/spouse.
And following the above example; How is it any better than being in love with being in love?
Being in love and being in lust are two separate states, according to neuroscientists. For example:
The 3 stages of loveHelen Fisher of Rutgers University in the States has proposed 3 stages of love – lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals.
Stage 1: Lust
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.Stage 2: Attraction
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.Adrenaline
The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.Dopamine
Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!Serotonin
And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.Oxytocin - The cuddle hormone
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm.
It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mum and baby and is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s breast automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic hormone) works with your kidneys to control thirst. Its potential role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole.
So, more accurately, being in lust is only one stage of the pair-bonding process.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The danger really comes when you go from wanting and pursuing to having and holding. (There so must be a better way to say that)
Biochem aside, an awful lot of people and relationships do not survive that transition.
Being in love with being in love would take some of your partners needs out of the picture.