Need Critique on homebrew race


Homebrew and House Rules


Ok so I'm hoping I can get some constructive criticism on a homebrew race i have been working on. The idea behind it was to have a playable race that was dragon like in flavor. It's around 20 RP so its higher up on the playable level but I think it has enough to it to make it enjoyable without game breaking. what do you think?
+2 strength, +2 Constitution, +2 Charisma
Type: Humanoid (human, dragonblooded)
Size: Medium Size
Land Base Speed: 30 ft.
● Low-light Vision
● Draconic Aspect (Su.): For a number of times per day equal to ½ your Character Level (with 1 being the minimum) you can acquire one of the following traits as a swift action that lasts for an hour or until it is dismissed as a free action. You can acquire only one trait at a time and must dismiss the previous trait before selecting a new one.
○ Breath of the Dragon: Can use a Breath Weapon as a standard action, dealing 1d6 damage. The type of breath weapon is determined by the type of dragon chosen at creation. A successful reflex save (DC equals 10 + 1/2 your character level + your Con modifier) halves this damage. You must wait 1d4 rounds to use this ability again
○ Mind of the Dragon: Your eyes become more draconic allowing you the ability of Darkvision 60 ft. as well as a +2 bonus to Perception checks.
○ Claws of the Dragon: Channeling your draconic inheritance your fingers extend into sharp claws that can be used as primary natural attacks. Each claw deals 1d6 damage plus your strength modifier and count as a magical weapon for the purpose of damage reduction.
○ Wings of the Dragon: you grow a pair of Dragon wings allowing you a fly speed of your base land speed. You can’t use this ability if you are in heavy armor or carrying a heavy load.
○ Heart of the Dragon: Gain a natural armor bonus of +2, and immunity to magical sleep effects, paralysis, and to an energy type related to the type of dragon chosen at creation


*bump*

Silver Crusade

1. The racial adjustments are just too good, they'd be too good if they were just +2 str/con. I'd say lower it to str/cha or con/cha and you'll have a more fair baseline.

2. Type and everything is all fine, nothing particularly gamebreaking there.

3. Draconic aspect seems like it should be EX instead of SU.

4. The different draconic aspects are varying wildly in power.

4a.I think the breath weapon's weak enough to the point where it could just be an all day thing, it's not like we have 3.5 metabreath effects.

4b. Mind of the dragon feels a little weak for a burst effect ability being once a day.

4c. Things like claws are mostly useful when they're always active instead of for an hour due to how people like to use primary weapons. Something like this should be inherent instead of a once a day effect.

4d. Flight feels like the only thing that should be limited like this, a solid call on your part.

4e. You might want to be careful giving full immunity to an element at 1st level, even if it is only for an hour. Maybe some kind of scaling resistance would work better.

I could almost see breaking this up into one 'mother race', and picking out 2 of these qualities to be an all day feature for each of them, maybe with different stat placements.


N. Jolly wrote:

1. The racial adjustments are just too good, they'd be too good if they were just +2 str/con. I'd say lower it to str/cha or con/cha and you'll have a more fair baseline.

2. Type and everything is all fine, nothing particularly gamebreaking there.

3. Draconic aspect seems like it should be EX instead of SU.

4. The different draconic aspects are varying wildly in power.

4a.I think the breath weapon's weak enough to the point where it could just be an all day thing, it's not like we have 3.5 metabreath effects.

4b. Mind of the dragon feels a little weak for a burst effect ability being once a day.

4c. Things like claws are mostly useful when they're always active instead of for an hour due to how people like to use primary weapons. Something like this should be inherent instead of a once a day effect.

4d. Flight feels like the only thing that should be limited like this, a solid call on your part.

4e. You might want to be careful giving full immunity to an element at 1st level, even if it is only for an hour. Maybe some kind of scaling resistance would work better.

I could almost see breaking this up into one 'mother race', and picking out 2 of these qualities to be an all day feature for each of them, maybe with different stat placements.

Alot of the choices were made for flavor reasons not mechnical. I always pictured a human looking character that had the natural capability to take on dragon aspects (and perhaps later be able to shapeshift into a dragon) but still appear human. perhaps you are right about the energy immunity... come to think of it, i think that might be left over from the previous concept of it. I really just want this to be a whole race with variation appearing via the dragon type. as for the breath weapon i do have some racial feats that will help increase it as well as other abilities and taking on more aspects at a time. Also you can gain more uses as you level its not just "1/day"

Silver Crusade

Sorry, I didn't notice the 1/2 char level per day, I just saw them as 1/day. I stand by what I said for most of them though, although about 6th level or so you could probably have the claws for any vital encounter. I'd actually throw a bite attack into the mix there too, really finish the natural attack routine.

I could see a feat to make the claws/bite last longer, maybe a feat chain that would increase the duration of some of these abilities, I mean aasimar can get wings at 11th level or so, so that's a decent balancing point to consider.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16

As a player race, it's too powerful and somewhat broken. You need to keep in mind that a race needs abilities appropriate for a 1st level character. Getting an hour-long fly speed at 6 levels before normal characters can get it? Yeaaaaaaaaah...

It's also obvious you didn't use the race building guidelines properly. Most playable races are around 10 RP and only use standard traits. You have a 20 RP race with monstrous traits. Even some of the strongest "standard" races don't use advanced or monstrous traits and don't go over 15 RP.

Finally, the real meat of a race is the lore and we don't have any of it here. A playable humanoid dragon race has been homebrewed so many times that you'd need something really neat and creative to make the race interesting.

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