Ask *Lord Fyre* all your questions here!


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Liberty's Edge

Alrighty, Lord Fyre! John and I agree it's time we ask YOU some questions.

What's your favorite farm animal?


So tell us about yourself?

Dark Archive

Why don't you come around my thread anymore?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
So tell us about yourself?

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think burning hydrocarbons is a pretty neat idea.

“Hither came Lord Fyre, the American, grey-haired, green-eyed, smartphone in hand, an unemployed software tester, a punster, an RPG gamer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his tennis-shoed feet.”

While the above it true, let me flesh it out a bit.

I live in the city of Poway, California. My PFS number is 97977, but I have not yet had the chance to join a PFS game (despite having a venture-captain in my area). Beyond that, I am an avid reader, a veteran gamer (particularly CHAMPIONS, oWoD, 7th Sea, Traveler, D&D, and of course Pathfinder), but my participation in MMO computer games has dropped off dramatically (due to budget limitations).

What else do you need to know?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

lucky7 wrote:

Alrighty, Lord Fyre! John and I agree it's time we ask YOU some questions.

What's your favorite farm animal?

I don't really have a favorite farm animal.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

Cr500cricket wrote:
Why don't you come around my thread anymore?

Because I got the impression that I was annoying.


What is best in life?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

The NPC wrote:
What is best in life?

Conan teaches us: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!"

I don't hold with that. In my opinion Cayden Cailean has the right of it. "Be true to yourself, help others, make each day an adventure, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good brews and give thanks for your blessings every day."


What took you so long in responding to this thread?

You play 7th Sea? I love that game...I all ways have to GM it though...sigh. What are some of your favorite Nations? Forms of magic? Secret Society?

Also do you GM or play?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
What took you so long in responding to this thread?

I was unaware of it until I came across it by chance.

John Kretzer wrote:
You play 7th Sea?

Not currently, as Pathfinder has bigfooted all other RPGs. 7th Sea's nation of Vodacce is a HUGE influence on my interpretation of Cheliax for my current Council of Thieves campaign.

John Kretzer wrote:
I love that game...I all ways have to GM it though...sigh. What are some of your favorite Nations? Forms of magic? Secret Society?

Avalon (Inismore), Porte, and "Rose and Cross"

John Kretzer wrote:
Also do you GM or play?

7th Sea? Right now, neither player nor Game Master. But I was a player when the group was available.


I meant are you a player or a GM in general?

What is your favorite class in PF?

What is your favorite race in PF?

Do you like or hate Golarion? Why?

Why don't you ask me questions anymore on my thread?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
I meant are you a player or a GM in general?

Both. I am in three Adventure Paths currently. I am the GM for one, but a player for the other two.

John Kretzer wrote:
What is your favorite class in PF?

Wizard. (I prefer prepared casters in general.)

John Kretzer wrote:
What is your favorite race in PF?

Tough question, as I haven't played them all. Right now, I would have to go with human.

John Kretzer wrote:
Do you like or hate Golarion? Why?

I have a several of problems with Golarion.

1. The setting is becoming more "Politically Correct" over time; but a realistic world is not politically correct.
2. Andorian. A nation of such staunch abolitionist is bad enough, but the fact that they interfere in other nation's practice of slavery should -in a realist world - result in an alliance between Cheliax, Taldor, Nidal, and Katapesh to preform an "El Stompo" on the meddlers.
3. The pantheon. I would prefer separate pantheons for the different regions and races. Blending everything together kinda loses a sense of "mythic" history.
4. Cthulu. I do enjoy the stories of H.P.Lovecraft, but I don't LOVE them so much that I want them everywhere.
5. I also wish that the setting was more internally consistent. Just look at the mental gymnastics they are doing to prevent firearms from becoming universal. Something that happens in one part of the world does impact the nations around it.
6. I could go on and on.

I still play in Golarion mostly because that is what my player group wants.

John Kretzer wrote:
Why don't you ask me questions anymore on my thread?

Too busy in Real Life.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

Lord Fyre wrote:
The NPC wrote:
What is best in life?

Conan teaches us: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!"

I don't hold with that. In my opinion Cayden Cailean has the right of it. "Be true to yourself, help others, make each day an adventure, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good brews and give thanks for your blessings every day."

I'm changing my answer.

What's best in life is to Level Up!


Lord Fyre wrote:
Lord Fyre wrote:
The NPC wrote:
What is best in life?

Conan teaches us: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!"

I don't hold with that. In my opinion Cayden Cailean has the right of it. "Be true to yourself, help others, make each day an adventure, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good brews and give thanks for your blessings every day."

I'm changing my answer.

What's best in life is to Level Up!

I like that answer better.

So ever dance with the devil by the pale moon light?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
Lord Fyre wrote:
Lord Fyre wrote:
The NPC wrote:
What is best in life?

Conan teaches us: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!"

I don't hold with that. In my opinion Cayden Cailean has the right of it. "Be true to yourself, help others, make each day an adventure, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good brews and give thanks for your blessings every day."

I'm changing my answer.

What's best in life is to Level Up!

I like that answer better.

So ever dance with the devil by the pale moon light?

Yes... I lied. I cheated. I bribed men to cover up the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But most damning of all... I think I can live with it... And if I had to do it all over again... I would.

Liberty's Edge

Well, I have a few questions.

How is your adorable corgi?

Second is what would you do if I offered you cookies.

Last is would you like another corgi?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:

Well, I have a few questions.

How is your adorable corgi?

The fact that you know that I have a corgi means that you know me in real life. :)

He is fine, though we were mad at him this morning for messing the carpet when he knows better.

snickersimba wrote:
Second is what would you do if I offered you cookies.

Though I should avoid them (I'm diabetic), I would take them and eat.

snickersimba wrote:
Last is would you like another corgi?

Not at this time. We are still having enough trouble with one.

Liberty's Edge

Actually, I had to click your profile to find the thread, I saw you had a corgi named billy.

Im actually a complete stranger who knows nothing more than you have a corgi.

All corgies are adorable.
im still dealing with the fact my party has an antipaladin who can't get it through his head that yes, you fell because you adopted a kitten and instead of murdering it, fed it and loved it.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:
im still dealing with the fact my party has an antipaladin who can't get it through his head that yes, you fell because you adopted a kitten and instead of murdering it, fed it and loved it.

I disagree.

Cats are evil. By adopting a cat, he is only furthering the cause of evil.

Liberty's Edge

What do you think of the giant slayers handbook?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:
What do you think of the giant slayers handbook?

Meh. I prefer the more location or race focused handbooks.

Liberty's Edge

True, those are always fun. However, this one introduces a fighter that uses massive weapons and a weapon that TRIPLES your reach.

Yes, it triples your reach, but you can only make attacks in a cone.

its just as absurd and silly as it should be.

I love it.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:

True, those are always fun. However, this one introduces a fighter that uses massive weapons and a weapon that TRIPLES your reach.

Yes, it triples your reach, but you can only make attacks in a cone.

its just as absurd and silly as it should be.

I love it.

That is one of the things that I did not like.

If fact, the more I read Paizo supplements, the more I like the Core game.

Liberty's Edge

Everyone has opinions, most of the time, I stick to the core books for some things. If I am dealing with players who have never experienced this before, I condense the classes down significantly.

Mostly to the classes that have the lowest amount of rules. I tend to cut fighters out because I absolutely hate them. They bore me to no end.

If you want to play a melee character, just pick a barbarian. They are interesting at least.


How many miles must a man walk?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
How many miles must a man walk?

The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind.


How many miles do you have to walk to be the man who falls down at your door?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
How many miles do you have to walk to be the man who falls down at your door?

1,000 miles. (500 and 500 more)

Liberty's Edge

What would happen if your corgi learned how to duplicate himself?


What color should we paint that red door?

Do you like these questions?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:
What would happen if your corgi learned how to duplicate himself?

With the amount he sheds, I'm not sure he hasn't.

Fortunately, he has been altered, so duplicating himself is unlikely.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:
What color should we paint that red door?

Teal.

John Kretzer wrote:
Do you like these questions?

Not sure.

Liberty's Edge

Why are you, ashiel and JJ the most amazing people I have met?

What do you think of treating psychic mages being treated as goddamn lunatics that should be locked away and experimented on?

Also, what would be the best class for these races:

Svirgeblin
duegar
kolbold
drow
strix
goblin
hobgoblin
orc
Because thats the list I gave my players for our next adventure and the response was wtf???

They have never seen these races in action before, so far we have a hobgoblin brawler and a drow alchemist

theres also a seventh player joining in very soon as a wyveran. Those kolbold/wyvern hybrids


Well let me know when you get tired of them....and here is a classic one...

What is love?

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

John Kretzer wrote:

Well let me know when you get tired of them....and here is a classic one...

What is love?

Baby don't hurt me.

RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

snickersimba wrote:
Why are you, ashiel and JJ the most amazing people I have met?

If I am on that short list, your life must be pretty pathetic.

snickersimba wrote:
What do you think of treating psychic mages being treated as g*$+~$n lunatics that should be locked away and experimented on?

I'll let you know when they let me out ...

snickersimba wrote:

Also, what would be the best class for these races:

Svirgeblin
duegar
kolbold
drow
strix
goblin
hobgoblin
orc
Because thats the list I gave my players for our next adventure and the response was wtf???

I'm with your players on this one.

snickersimba wrote:
They have never seen these races in action before, so far we have a hobgoblin brawler and a drow alchemist

The best classes? That is always a debate. What does "best" class mean.

  • svirgeblin - Check your spelling
  • svirfneblin - Like the Duergar below, this race would be a good divine caster, except for the Charisma penalty. I'd suggest a Druid with an appropriate archetype.
  • duegar - Check your spelling
  • duergar - All dwarves make good Wisdom based casters, but the extreme Charisma penalty means that Cleric should be avoided. I'd go with Warpriest.
  • kolbold - Kobolds have no reason to desire close combat, but their skill bonuses make Alchemist an interesting choice.
  • drow - The Sorcerer (if male) or the Cleric (if female) would be culturally appropriate and both build on the Dark Elf's racial abilities.
  • strix - With their flight ability, I would go with an archery focused Ranger.
  • goblin - You will want something that takes advantage of the HUGE dexterity bonus, so I would suggest Rogue. (If the GM allows it, check out Gunslinger.)
  • hobgoblin - The player's choice of Brawler is both culturally appropriate and quite strong.
  • orc - The large penalties to Mental stats does mean that the stereotypical Barbarian really is the best choice.

  • Liberty's Edge

    I am the gamemaster. Also, my spelling was crap on duergar and the svirfneblin because those races are one of those sorts of things that you will never get correct.

    I showed them this post and they came up with this:

    duergar shaman
    Kolbold slayer
    Orc witch (scarred witch doctor)

    there was a fourth one until I looked the svirfneblin over again and noticed how goddamn insane they are. I was very quick to nix that race in about eight seconds.

    that player dropped the game, the other one quit due to her computer getting fried.

    the wyvaran player is a warpriest

    So yeah.

    We have a balanced party if you ask me.


    Is it safe to dance?

    RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    John Kretzer wrote:
    Is it safe to dance?

    Yes. And I would encourage you to do so!


    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Is it safe to dance?
    Yes. And I would encourage you to do so!

    Don't you know Kretzer Men don't dance?


    Cuppa?

    RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    Kajehase wrote:
    Cuppa?

    No. Pint!

    RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    John Kretzer wrote:
    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Is it safe to dance?
    Yes. And I would encourage you to do so!
    Don't you know Kretzer Men don't dance?

    I am aware. I merely reject it.


    Why don't you ask me any questions anymore?

    RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    John Kretzer wrote:
    Why don't you ask me any questions anymore?

    To much real life.

    For example, I start a new job tomorrow.


    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Why don't you ask me any questions anymore?

    To much real life.

    For example, I start a new job tomorrow.

    Congrats on the new job. Hope it works out for you.

    RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

    John Kretzer wrote:
    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Why don't you ask me any questions anymore?

    To much real life.

    For example, I start a new job tomorrow.

    Congrats on the new job. Hope it works out for you.

    So do I. I have been out of work for too long.


    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Lord Fyre wrote:
    John Kretzer wrote:
    Why don't you ask me any questions anymore?

    To much real life.

    For example, I start a new job tomorrow.

    Congrats on the new job. Hope it works out for you.
    So do I. I have been out of work for too long.

    I have been there before. Well lets us know how it went.

    Liberty's Edge

    If all else fails, bring a very large stick to work with you.

    This way you have something to work on while your boss rambles

    Also, you might terrify the entire office with your impressive woodworking skills and then they might mistake you as a confused irish lumberjack.


    How was your first day at work?

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